Rub the dust out your eyes, get on your favorite slippers, and plant your seat in front of The Vortex on CW, because it’s time for another edition of WWE SatMor SLAM!
Scott Stamford welcomes us an all new block buster episode of Saturday Morning Slam! He mentions that Randy Orton will be making his debut to Slam, as he will face the intellectual Damien Sandow!
We take a look back at last week’s ending, where Randy Orton promised Mr. Sandow a spelling lesson, teaching him what RKO spells. We looks at these two enigmas, the intelligent and resourceful Damien Sandow, and the striking and Apex Predator that is Randy Orton.
We go to the live stage where Sandow makes his way out. He claims to be here to help all of us. He says everyone is embaressing themselves, and his lesson will be a physical one as he will dismantle his opponent. This causes Randy’s music to hit, and it looks like Josh Mathews and Booker T are ready for this match.
Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow
The two lock up, and Orton pushes Sandow into the corner. Sandow has the ref back Orton up, and they go for another lock up. Orton puts Sandow into a hammerlock, but Sandow reverses it into a headlock. Randy attempts to fight out, but eats a shoulder tackle after bouncing off the ropes. Damien is enjoying this, and they lock up again. Orton transitions into a headlock, but Sandow pushes him off. Randy is able to use this in his favor and starts delivering shoulder tackles, and, when Sandow attempts a hiptoss, Randy is able to reverse into his own. Sandow tries to escape Orton to the outside, but Orton follows and attacks him.
Before the break, we have a “Be A STAR” promo with Kofi Kingston, including personal stories from his childhood.
Back to in ring action, and Damien has Orton on the ground in a headlock, but Orton fights up into a back suplex and goes for a pin before only getting a two count. A nice European uppercut, and the two try to throw each other into the top turnbuckle. Orton gets the upper hand, and then delivers a nice dropkick. Orton begins attacking the downed Sandow, but Sandow moves, and begins to attack Orton in the corner. Sandow attempts a suplex, but Orton reverses into his own suplex, but only gets a two count. Orton attempts to whip Sandow, but Sandow reverses, and Orton bounces back and hits a stiff clothesline from the corner. Orton starts to attack the arm of Sandow, and drops him to the ground to deliver a big knee slam. Sandow rolls back outside, but Orton again chases him and attacks him on the barricade. Orton slides Sandow back in, but, as Orton tries to get back in, Sandow chokes him on the top rope. This give the upper hand back Sandow as he slams his knee to the face of Orton, and drapes Orton over the side of the ring to hit an elbow on the prone viper. Sandow hits a big Russian Leg Sweep to Orton in the middle of the ring, and hits his elbow into the ribs of Randy Orton, going for a pin but only getting a two count. Orton starts to fight back, but Sandow whips Orton into the ropes and hits a big knee, getting another two count. Sandow begins a vice grip on Orton’s abdomen area, but Orton fights back. He whips Sandow, but Sandow reverses, and Orton goes up over Sandow in the corner into a roll up, but only getting two. Orton is visibly hurt, and Orton eats a stiff clothesline from Sandow.
Before we go back to in ring action, Kaitlyn graces us with a “Don’t Try This” spot.
Back to the ring, Sandow attempts a lionsault, but misses big time, setting up Randy to hit the clotheslines, the bodyslam, and then the DDT off the ropes. Orton coils up for RKO, makes the cover for the win!
Winner: Randy Orton
Scott Stamford mentions 2013 might be the Year of the Viper (well, Chinese Year Of The Snake, I should know!), but the man looking to prove that wrong is “The Celtic Warrior” Sheamus. We have a Saturday Morning Spotlight featuring the best of Sheamus. Scott mentions that next week Sheamus will be in action!
Boring show, bar none!
I’m sorry, but to focus the ENTIRE episode on this one match was ridiculous. The fact that this match was just drawn out over all three commercial breaks, and the two moral spots, just made this show boring. I would have been fine if they only had the one commercial break, and maybe had a topic for the show, but no, we just got one match. And, to top it off, once again WWE had to cut away from certain moves. I really hope this time slot change coming up helps deliver a little more.
Speaking of the moral spots, why did Kofi Kingston do the anti-bullying spot? I thought he was from West Africa. So wouldn’t a name like Kofi be a normal thing? I don’t think they would have picked on him as much as he said, but then again, what do I know? I was always picked on for liking things like wrestling, and I still get it for being a brony. You know what I do? Ignore it, because no matter what you think will happen if you tell someone, it will still get you picked on. Bullies feed on that kind of stuff, and if you don’t feed into them, then they think you don’t care, and they get bored and go away. Gee, I should do my own anti-bully campaign. Then again, bronies try to follow the whole “Love And Tolerate” thing, so I guess should just sit bullies down in front of The Hub in Saturday mornings.
One more thing. The close out for the show didn’t feel right. We just had the announcement of Sheamus, and everything went to black. Not fade, just kinda transitioned. I thought I missed something thinks to the “wonderful” people of DirecTV, but no, that was how the show finished! WWE, you are some of the production masters! That was just horrible. You guys really need to check everything from today.
Now, if you don’t mind, I have a lovely lady who is actually talking to me! Let’s just hope she doesn’t mind the Brony hat when we meet up. Until next week everypony!
Remember, you can always add me on Facebook @ Facebook.com/TheRockyJimenez (AMARealStar is about to be closed down), and can come hang with me every Saturday night at Top Of Texas Wrestling. Check out Facebook.com/TOTFans to find out more about The Kings of Saturday Nights and Birthplace of Immortals!