Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me, because it is time for Monday Night RAW!
Quick side note, tonight’s RAW happens to be presented live and without any commercial breaks. That’s fantastic and lots of fun… the downside being that I have lost all of the crucial time I use to edit and add my thoughts onto the end of my recaps. So if I miss some typos and my thoughts are more abbreviated than usual I apologize! Hopefully you won’t even notice but I just wanted to throw in this small disclaimer at the start.
The show kicks off with a bang here in Canada as the undeniable guitar screeches which can only mean the theme for one man… Bret “The Hitman” Hart! Tonight is Bret’s last night with the company, and he comes out to a roaring ovation..
He says that he was informed this week by WWE headquarters that he was challenged by The Miz for a match for the US Championship. He was surprised, but the competitive spirit swelled up inside him, and so he told Corporate to book it. But, he doesn’t want to be one of those old guys hanging around longer than they should, so he will NOT be wrestling tonight. Before he can continue, “Break the Walls Down” hits the audio dial and Chris Jericho makes his way out to the ring. The show has kicked off with two Canadian greats in this business, confronting each other.
Jericho says he has one question for Bret. “Why?”. Why did he even come back to this company in the first place? He says Hart is a shell of his former self. And now, Jericho says that he is a disgrace and ruining his legacy. He has already tarnished his reputation, and it is too late. Jericho says that tonight he is the biggest hypocrite in the building. Jericho calls him a phony, and says that he deserved to be screwed in Montreal.
Bret cuts a GREAT promo back to Chris Jericho, saying that he is the real phony here. Bret draws an illustration back to when Jericho was being trained in the Hart Dungeon. Bret tells him to take a look in the mirror.
Jericho retorts that he did look in the mirror, and he saw the man who has surpassed Bret Hart. Jericho puts himself over as the real, “best there is, was, and ever will be”, and says that the fans know it. Jericho continues on, but is cut off by a “we want Bret” chant. Jericho says that Bret’s legacy comes down to tonight. If he doesn’t wrestle against Miz, he’ll be a disgrace. Tonight is all he will be remembered for in this business.
Bret tells him to go tell The Miz, to put his boots on, cause there is going to be a match! Jericho laughs and says that Bret is a con man. He’ll just come and get himself disqualified. Jericho tells him to be a man and make it a NO DQ match. Bret accepts!
Bret puts over The Hart Dynasty and their match at Over the Limit this Sunday only on PPV.
****WWE Shop commercial featuring The Great Khali and Hornswoggle in the vein of a Geico commercial. 15% off available now****
This next match features Edge verse Orton’s choice of opponent. (The vice versa will occur later). The man who makes his way out to the ring is… Christian!!!
Edge v. Christian
The match starts off with the two squaring off. Christian is met with a slap in the face from his former tag partner. Christian runs out of the ring to chase Edge down. Back in the ring, Christian slaps him in the face! All hell breaks loose as Christian sets up for his rope press on Edge’s neck. Christian hits a baseball slide which sends Edge to the outside. Edge is able to recover, and throws Christian shoulder first into the announce booth. Christian barely makes it in by the count of ten.
The match takes a mat based turned here, as Edge begins to work the shoulder and arm of Christian. Christian is whipped into the corner, but looks to hit his see-saw kick. Edge counters! That’s rarely countered, and Edge tries for the pin. Christian kicks out.
Edge and Christian once again start with slaps, with Christian getting the slight upper hand. Christian heads to the top rope, but Edge attempts to counter. Christian knocks him off, and then connects with a huge tornado DDT. Edge kicks out at 2.
Both men get back to their feet, and Christian sets in with a slew of punches. He knocks him into the corner, but Edge counters the splash. Christian quickly jumps back and knocks Edge down with a slam. Christian takes to the top rope and hits the missile dropkick! Christian goes for the cover… but Edge kicks out!
Edge gets to his feet and his looking for a neckbreaker, but Christian counters. Edge is sent to the ropes, and Christian jumps out to his a punch. Edge is slammed to the mat, and Christian heads to the top rope! Christian leaps for the frog splash, but Edge rolls out of his way. Edge hits a side slam and goes for the cover… Christian kicks out to the shock of the crowd. Christian gets to his feet, but is thrown to the mat. Edge is setting up for the spear!
Christian whips around and counters the spear with a kick. He leaps to the second turnbuckle, and hits a sunset flip. This could be it! But Edge kicks out. Edge throws him down with a hard punch and once again sets up for the spear. Christian slides out and hits his see-saw kick! Christian is trying for the Killswitch, but Edge pushes him back. Edge senses the moment and connects with a quick spear! What a match!
Winner via Spear: Edge
After the match Randy Orton appears on the Titantron. He compliments Edge on the match, but asks why Christian was out there. Christian wasn’t Orton’s pick…. Woah. Orton says that THIS is Edge’s opponent.
The lights go out in the arena and the gong sounds. It can’t be… it is! Edge is going to face THE UNDERTAKER right now!
Edge v. The Undertaker
As soon as the bell rings, Edge heads out to the apron. The referee begins the ten count.
Winner via Count Out: The Undertaker
Christian is not too thrilled by this turn of events, and throws Edge back into the ring! Apparently Christian never made it to the back from ringside. Undertaker hits him with a chokeslam, which at least makes his time worth it!
****Promo airs for the Batista v. John Cena match at Over the Limit****
In the back, Maryse is getting her
We cut to Buzz Aldrin’s office where he is with his wife. Vickie Guerrero walks into the shot. She says that it is a pleasure to meet them. Buzz thanks her for coming into his office. Vickie says that there is a mistake because this is his office. Buzz says he knows two things. He walked on the moon on the first landing, and that Vickie walked out as GM last week. Vickie says that was a mistake, it was under duress. Buzz says that he checked with the WWE office, and she in fact did resign. Her replacement will be on RAW next week! He invites the Bella Twins into the office to escort her out.
Recap airs highlighting the match between Batista and Mark Henry last week.
Mark Henry is making his way out to the ring for a match. Batista meets him before the ring and breaks a 2×4 over his arm. Batista continues to lay the beat down using the ringside posts, barriers, and steps. ‘Tista teases that he is leaving, but then walks back into the ring. He tells the crew to give them his spotlight! Batista gets the lights out and his spotlight, and heads to the turnbuckle to pose to the crowd.
****R-Truth commercial airs in the vein of a Mastercard commercial, I hope they put these up on WWE.com for you to see if you couldn’t catch the show****
Ted Dibiase is making his way down to the ring for a match. He pauses at the ramp, and it looks like he has found himself a Virgil. WAIT that IS Virgil!! Ted Dibiase got his own Virgil, but getting THE Virgil.
Ted Dibiase Jr. w/ Virgil v. Yoshi Tatsu
The match starts with the two reversing a series of punches and arm drags. Yoshi finally hits a flipping arm drag, which he follows with a pin attempt. Ted kicks out. Ted whips Yoshi into the corner. He attempts to counter, but is caught by Ted and dropped onto his knee. Ted picks him up for a suplex, but drops him midsection first onto the top rope. Quick pin, but Yoshi kicks out.
Dibiase locks in a headlock. Yoshi tries to fight out, but gets whipped into the corner. Yoshi counters the splash, fights Dibiase off and connects with a spinning wheel kick. Both men are to their feet, and he set in with the Japanese Strong style kicks. Ted is backed into the corner and is hit with Yoshi’s rolling snapmare/kick combo. Ted kicks out of the pin. Yoshi goes for a kick, but Dibiase ducks and connects with Dream Street!
Winner via Dream Street: Ted Dibiase Jr.
After the match, Ted tells Virgil to get the microphone. Ted has a message for R-Truth. He tells him that the person not ashamed to be the new Virgil, is the old Virgil! He says that there is nothing that he can’t buy. If he can’t buy, he will beat it.
****Promo airs for CM Punk v. Rey Mysterio****
In the back, The Miz is talking to Chris Jericho. He walks away and is met by Josh Mathews. He takes the mic and walks away. Miz makes his way out to the ringside area all whilst putting himself over. He says that he is going to spit on the Hart heritage. This match is up now! Miz says that in a few short moments Bret is going to be on the mat screaming in pain. Miz says he is going to make Hart tap out to the Sharpshooter!
NO DQ, NO COUNT OUT US Championship Match
The Miz v. Bret Hart
The bell rings, but The Miz jumps out and heads for the microphone. The Miz says that he knows that The Hart Dynasty is going to show up at some point, so he paid a few guys to neutralize them when they do show up. William Regal and Kozlov make their way out to ringside. The Hart Dynasty jump out of the crowd to take them out! The two groups begin brawling towards the back. Jericho jumps from the crowd into the ring.
This looks like a two on one scenario. But wait! Here comes Natalya. She jumps in the ring. Jericho points for her to leave, but she won’t. She defiantly stands her ground, and then slaps him in the face! She then grabs Miz, and Bret decks him.
All hell breaks loose as Jericho gets back to his feet. David gets back into the ring to make the save. Miz takes him out with a punch. The Miz starts to lock Bret into the Sharpshooter! Tyson Kidd is on the apron and hits Miz with a springboard drop kick! David picks Miz up, and then Tyson connects for the Hart Attack! Bret locks on the Sharpshooter, and Miz taps out!!
Winner and NEW US Champion: Bret “Hitman” Hart
After the match, Hart celebrates with the members of the Hart Dynasty, and then heads to the back.
****Promo airs for the Wrestlemania 26 DVD*****
Maryse, Michelle McCool & Layla v. Eve Torres & The Bella Twins
So, apparently since LayCool won the belts in a handicap match, they are both wearing the belt around their waist. As in, there is now a duplicate. Before the match can get underway, Maryse and Eve try to go after each other. Their partners break them up.
The match starts with Eve and Layla. Layla hits a really cool bridigning pin, but Eve kicks out. Eve is able to fight out, and tags in um, one of the Bellas. They are dressed identically tonight so I’m not even going to pretend to know which is which. Layla throws Bella to the outside ,and then tags in Maryse. Maryse comes into the ring but stays only briefly to slam Bella to the mat. Layla gets the tag again.
Layla tries for a leg drop, but misses. She then geads back to her corner and tags in Michelle McCool. Michelle heads to the corner and knocks off the opponents. Michelle looks to go after whichever Bella this is, but actually gets caught with a series of kicks and dropkicks. Michelle is pushed to the corner, and Maryse tags herself in. She hits the French Kiss DDT, and this match is over.
Winners via French Kiss: Maryse & LayCool
After the match Eve and Maryse continue to go after each other and have to be separated.
In the back, Josh Mathews introduced his guest, John Cena. He asks how Cena responds to his critics. He says that he appreciates their opinions, but tonight he doesn’t want to address them. He is talking to the “CENAtion”. The ones who wear his colors proud in the audience without fear or shame. The question of why he is facing Sheamus tonight, is because he wants to take him out, and ensure that he won’t be an obstacle on the PPV. Cena says that the reason he has relinquished his rematch clause is because if Dave Batista makes him say “I Quit”, then he doesn’t deserve to be Champion. He doesn’t underestimate Batista, but he has a promise.
Cena says he will not quit! Batista will quit, and the Champ will be here!
Pick Your Poison
Randy Orton is making his way down to the ring, and awaiting the announcement of his opponent by Edge. It is… The World Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger!
Randy Orton v. Jack Swagger
The match starts with Swagger taking Orton down to the mat. Orton gets to his feet and applies his boot to Swagger’s head. Orton catches Swagger off the ropes and hits a neckbreaker. He then drives his boot into Swagger repeatedly. Orton is looking for a knee drop, but Swagger rolls out of the way and goes for a clothesline. He connects and hits the pin. Orton kicks out.
Swagger locks on a side headlock. Orton gets to his feet and connects with a clothesline. He is looking for the scoop slam, so Swagger slides out of the ring. Jack gets back in and starts to take it to Orton. Swagger hits a great Belly-to-Back Suplex, and then knocks Orton out of the ring. Randy tries to get back in, but gets caught with a punch from Swagger and falls hitting his head on the announce table.
Swagger heads out of the ring to roll him back in. He tries for the cover, but Orton kicks out. Swagger locks on a rear headlock. Orton breaks the hold, but is hit with another belly-to-back suplex. Swagger starts to head toward Orton, but gets caught with a boot. Orton is full of energy and hits his snap scoop slam. Swagger is on the apron, and Orton sets him up for the suspended DDT. He hits it to perfection. Cole gives him a Vintage label for his effort.
Orton is on the mat, and he looks to be ready to pounce with the RKO. Edge runs in to take out Orton and cause the DQ. Orton knocks him back, and hits an RKO on Swagger!! Edge seizes the moment and hits the spear on Randy Orton!
Winner via DQ: Randy Orton
****Promo airs for Over the Limit****
The fantastically talented Justin Roberts is in the ring. He introduces tonight’s guest host, Buzz Aldrin. Buzz grabs the mic, and puts over his time here tonight on Monday Night RAW. He cuts a promo supporting Barack Obama’s space initiative. He then puts over Canada, because they built the landing gear that the space craft used when he landed on the moon. I had no idea, that’s actually really interesting.
Zack Ryder’s music hits, and he makes his way down to the ring with Alicia Fox. He cuts a promo putting down Canadians. He then says that he heard we didn’t even land on the moon. Buzz says that the last person that implied they staged it, he punched them out. They show video, he really did! He says that he isn’t going to beat him down tonight, but introduces the team that will!
Zack Ryder & Alicia Fox v. Evan Bourne & Gail Kim
Gail Kim happens to be from Canada as well, which Buzz puts over. The match starts with Zack and Evan in the ring. Kim gets the tag in, and Bourne hits a huge running knee on Zack. Gail tries to whip Alicia into the ropes, but Ryder catches her. This isn’t enough however, as Gail still kicks her. Alicia then whips Gail into the ropes, and Ryder pulls the second rope down so she flies to the outside!
Gail makes her way back into the ring. Alicia tries for the roll up, but Gail kicks out. Alicia tags in Zack, which thus brings in Bourne. Evan connects with a kick, and then plants Ryder to set up for the Shooting Star Press! Alicia runs into the ring to save Zack by rolling him to the outside. Evan leaps out after him with a clothesline. Gail and Alicia are back in the ring, and Kim hits her finisher.
Winners via DeFEET: Gail Kim & Evan Bourne
After the match, Buzz Aldrin gets into the ring to celebrate with the victors. Evan dances with him a bit, and then Aldrin does a Michael Jackson Moonwalk! Awesome.
****Another WWE Shop commercial in the vein of Geico airs featuring Goldust on a blind date****
John Cena v. Sheamus
The match starts with Sheamus pushing Cena down and kicking him repeatedly. John gets to his feet, and pummels Sheamus with some punches. He throws Sheamus to the outside. He heads out and throws Sheamus into one set of steel steps, and then another. Sheamus gets to his feet, and whips Cena into the barricade. Sheamus rolls him back into the ring.
On the inside, Sheamus goes for a cover. Cena kicks out. Sheamus picks him up, and connects with a punch to the face. He whips Orton into two turnbuckles, and throws him to the mat. Sheamus goes for the cover, Cena kicks out.
Sheamus picks up Cena, and trying for a vertical suplex. Cena counters and connects with one of his own. Cena picks Sheamus off the mat and throws him shoulder first into the steel post. Sheamus falls to the outside of the ring.
Sheamus makes his way back into the ring, and Cena picks him up looking for the FU. Sheamus fights off, and kicks Cena in the gut. He tries to whip Cena into the ropes, but gets caught with a reversal. Cena hits him with a sidewalk slam. Sheamus staggers to his feet, and each time Cena hits him with a punch. Sheamus finally gets a blow in, and knocks Cena onto the apron. Sheamus follows up with a knee to the face which knocks John to the outside.
Cena struggles to make his way back into the ring, but Sheamus knocks him off again with a knee to the face. The referee stops counting and reprimands Sheamus. John once again tries to get back in the ring, this time he dodges Sheamus and starts to unload. Cena is full of vigor as he bounces off the ropes. He sends Sheamus crashing into the ropes and looks for the running bulldog, but Sheamus counters! He kicks John to the outside of the ring again!
Sheamus waits as Cena gets back into the ring, he goes for the cover after a knee to the face, but Cena kicks out. John once again is on the apron. Sheamus grabs him and wrenches his neck back and follows up with a tree chop. Cena finally gets back into the ring.
He dodges a move from Sheamus and hits his running shoulder block. He then connects to the outside. Cena lifts Sheamus up for the FU (yeah I know that’s not its name anymore), but Sheamus grabs onto the top rope. Cena is fighting for all of his might to pull Sheamus off. Batista is running down to the ring. Just as Batista gets in the ring, Cena FUs Sheamus to the outside of the ring! Batista meets him with a spear in the ring. This ends the match in a DQ.
Winner via DQ: John Cena
After the match Batista continues with the onslaught on John Cena. He looks in a submission move that looks like a cross between an chicken wing crossface and an STF. The show goes off the air with the referee trying to pull Batista off as he shouts for Cena to say I Quit!
WOW! Just wow. I have been recapping RAW for several months now, and in my professional opinion this is the best episode that I have recapped bar none. I’ll be straight with you all. I was really not looking forward to recapping tonight’s show. Not because of the no commercial thing (though that was brutal) but because yesterday I moved back home from college, and then today I spent all day moving my family to a new place. As a result, I am absolutely exhausted, and yet this RAW brought me out of all that with its sheer awesomeness.
I have to keep my thoughts brief here because it is already half past the hour and I know my editor is starting to pace wanting me to get this in. I just have to put over the entire show from the top to bottom. Let’s hit some fast things.
The Edge v. Christian match was crazy good. This may be the only time the fans get this dream matchup in the near future, and it did not disappoint. This was a PPV caliber match, and I am impressed with both men. You could tell that they really enjoyed wrestling each other. Plus kudos to Edge for blocking the see-saw kick!
Dibiase and Yoshi had a surprisingly good little match. Oh, and the whole Virgil thing? I’m still laughing. I think it is beyond perfection. I hope that continues on for a bit.
I know that there are going to be people not happy about the Bret Hart victory here tonight. But really, I just thought it was an amazing moment. Push aside all the nonsense about knowing how the business operates. Yes, lots of people were hoping Bryan Danielson would come out and fight in Bret’s place. I thought that might happen, but this was perfect. Got lost in the business for a second. Let’s pretend this is all real. This was a man fighting on his last night with his entire career of nostalgia hanging in the air. He was in his home country and is a true national hero. The Hart Dynasty was there, and screw it. This was incredible to watch. Just flat out well done by the WWE, and I take my hat off to them for how well this was booked tonight. What does the future hold for the belt? I don’t know, but tonight all that I care about is how great it was to see Bret take in his moment in Canada one last time. It was one of those great moments when you can get lost in the fantasy of the wrestling business.
The rest of the show was on par with the first half. The little commercials were hilarious that they aired and I hope that they get them up on WWE.com for you to see if you couldn’t catch the show. Coming into tonight I did not really care about the PPV, but now I can’t wait until Sunday! The whole show did a great job promoting it.
Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn’t give some credit to Buzz Aldrin. For a man of his age, I think he did a pretty darn good job. Not really sure what he was promoting, but it seemed like a cross between President Obama’s space program, and the iPhone. Nonetheless, he did a pretty darn good job considering his limitations. Hell, the man walked on the moon. He’s just an incredible person period.
The main event was absolutely stellar. John Cena worked his brawler gimmick to the utmost degree and proved once again why he is at the top of the business. His backstage promo wasn’t too shabby either. The ending with the Batista submission hold was quite the cliffhanger, and well done.
I know that I left some great things out, but I have to send this in! All in all, it was a great show, and I truly believe it is the best I have ever recapped.
Special thanks to Josh Boutwell for recapping for me last week during finals. It was much appreciated (plus I’m sure he enjoyed the step up to the big leagues by recapping the WWE’s flagship show). Seriously though, Josh is great so if you aren’t using him as the source for your TNA iMPACT recaps, well you really should!
Send me some e-mails, and have a safe week everyone!
So that’s RAW…. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I’m always up for reading your thoughts and do my absolute best to reply to every message I get. Send them over to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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