Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it is time for Monday Night RAW!!!
RAW kicks off with a tribute screen to Randy “Macho Man” Savage.
Jerry Lawler’s music hits, and the Hall of Famer walks down to the ring. He says that finally our national nightmare is over, Michael Cole has been defeated. Lawler says that he had an ace up his sleeve at the PPV, actually he had a “Hart”. Bret “Hitman” Hart’s music hits, and he makes his way down to the ring. He is happy to be back on RAW. He says that last night, Cole suffered the agony of “de-feet”. Before he can continue, “The Truth will set you free!”.
R-Truth walks down to the ring, sans music. Truth says that it is an honor to be in the ring with Hart. He tells the crowd to shut up. He asks Hart if he knows how many title matches Truth has been in, the answer – zero. Truth wants to help Hart help Truth. He takes Hart’s sunglasses and says that he needs to find himself a little jimmy. He tries to hand them out to a kid in the crowd, but it doesn’t go so well. Truth comes back into the ring to complain more about not getting matches. Hart says that reason Truth hasn’t had the matches, is because he is a freakin’ lunatic. Truth says that he isn’t going to stand here and be disrespected, and starts to leave the ring.
John Cena’s music hits, and he makes his way out onto the ramp. Cena says that it is time he and Truth have a little bit of a talk. But before that, he wants to soak in the fact that Hart is back in a WWE ring. Hart congratulates him on a great job last night. Now it is back to the resident lunatic. Cena says that he has been paying attention to Miz lately, and isn’t sure exactly when Truth went crazy. Cena says that they used to be cool. Truth says that Cena doesn’t know a damn thing about cool, and he doesn’t know a damn thing about him. Truth says that the conspiracy he has been talking about, is about Cena. Truth says that the people in the audience make sure that it is all about John Cena. No, Cena counters by saying that he makes sure it is all about the people. Truth says everyone is running out saying they need the new Cena T-Shirts, armbands, and DVDs. Truth, wants his son back. Truth desperately wants a match against Cena. John says that he is a bit banged up from last night, but he is going to knock some sense into Truth.
Truth needs to prove himself some more before he is awarded a Title match. Tonight is his chance as R-Truth & CM Punk take on John Cena & Rey Mysterio with Bret Hart as the Special Guest Referee!
In the parking lot, Big Show & Kane are talking about the fact that the New Nexus always seems to run in a pack. Ricardo Rodriguez comes up, and is unhappy about the fact that they are leaning against Alberto Del Rio’s car. Well, he said it in Spanish but that seems to be the gist. Show pushes him down to the ground. Del Rio comes up and continues the Spanish smack talk. Show and Kane walk away as Rio pulls Ricardo up off the pavement.
WWE Tag Team Championships
Kane & Big Show v. David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty
CM Punk joins in on commentary for the match, with Mason Ryan standing beside him.
Kane and Otunga start the match off. Kane beats him with a series of punches, and then throws him out of the ring. Otunga’s head is bashed into the apron, and then rolled back into the ring. Show gets the tag and Kane holds back Otunga as Show chops him in the chest. Otunga runs over to tag in Michael. Show backs him into the corner, and then connects with a massive chop. In the middle of the ring, Show connects with another chop. Show steps on his chest, and then shoulder blocks him to the mat. Otunga rolls out of the ring as we head to commercial.
Back from the break, Michael has Kane in a side headlock. Kane gets to his feet and whips Michael into the ropes. Michael ducks a blow and kicks the leg of Kane. Otunga gets the tag. Pin attempt, but Kane kicks out. Otunga locks on a nice rear headlock. Kane breaks free and whips Otunga into the ropes, connecting with a boot to the face. Otunga tags in Michael, and Big Show gets the tag as well. Michael is met with several clotheslines, then a big splash followed by a shoulder block. Show goes for a chokeslam, but Mason Ryan runs up on the apron. The ref tries to keep him out of the ring, and Kane runs over for the assist. The referee gets bumped in the process as Ryan pulls Kane out of the ring. Otunga runs in to help Michael, and they get set for a double suplex. CM Punk jumps up on the apron and kicks Big Show in the back of the head! The double team move connects, and this match is over!
Winners & NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty
Scott Stanford is in the back, interviewing Kane & Big Show. Del Rio comes up to laugh at them, and throws a punch. As he runs away, he conveniently knocks into the camera guy, which launches us into a shot of Show underneath Del Rio’s car. Ricardo backs up to free Show. Del Rio and lackey run away. Show is writhing in pain as the medical crew try to assist. It looks as though his leg has been injured.
In the back, Big Show is still being attended to by the medics.
Jack Swagger v. Evan Bourne
Swagger clubs the back of Bourne, sending him crashing to the mat. He drops a shoulder, and then connects with a belly-to-belly suplex. Pin attempt, but Bourne kicks out. Swagger locks on a rear headlock, but Bourne kicks his way free. Swags tries for his second rope splash, but Bourne moves out of the way. Bourne tries for a high kick, but Swagger counters and tries to turn it into an ankle lock. Bourne rolls through. Bourne goes for a hurricarana, but Swagger converts it into a devastating Powerbomb! This match is over.
Winner via Powerbomb: Jack Swagger
After the match, Swagger begins a victory lap. Bourne gets to his feet and kicks him, then runs up the ramp smiling.
In the back, Michael Cole is walking down the hallway. He sees a group of Divas, and extends his hand to Eve Torres. In response, she extends her leg. Nice.
Justin Roberts welcomes out “The Voice of the WWE,” Michael Cole. The humiliated announcer makes his way down to ringside. A “You Suck Toes” chant breaks out in the arena. Cole begins his may I have your attention line, but cuts himself off as the crowd boos. He says that they are right, he doesn’t deserve their attention. He is out here because he never should have made this about himself. He wants to apologize to Lawler, Mathews, Justin Roberts, the timekeeper, and everyone in Portland. He wants to apologize to the entire WWE Universe. His behavior over the past couple of months has been reprehensible, and he just wants to come home. He wants to do commentary with Lawler every night on RAW. No more Cole mines, no more matches. He is begging everyone to please accept his apology. Lawler thanks him for coming out and being professional with his apology. He also offers him some breath mints. Cole says he deserves that. Lawler extends the offer, and Cole takes a seat on commentary.
The Miz’s music hits, and he walks down to the ring with Alex Riley. He says that there is only one reason he lost the match last night, Alex Riley. He claims Riley was distracted, which cost him the match. Miz pleads with the anonymous RAW GM for another chance. He wants a one on one match with Cena with Alex Riley banned from ringside. Miz claims that Cena wasn’t in a handicap match last night, HE was. That’s how much of a hindrance Alex Riley was at the PPV. Miz is waiting for a response from the GM.
Miz, I heard your request for another Championship match, and it is denied. You lost last night, so as far as I am concerned, you are done with John Cena.
Miz is furious as he tells Riley it is all his fault. If it wasn’t for him, Miz would be Champion. He asks Riley if he has any explanation for himself. Riley says that it isn’t as if he is the one that said, “I Quit”. On cue, an “I Quit” chant breaks out. Miz hits him and asks what he said. But then stops him. Miz says that he gave Riley a personal services contract. Without Miz, Riley wouldn’t even be in the WWE. Miz is intense as he claims Riley road his coattails to Wrestlemania. He is sick of Riley’s mind numbing stupidity, face, and everything period. Alex Riley is fired! Miz punches Riley, and Riley attacks him right back! Miz gets absolutely destroyed as Riley throws him outside the ring and into the barricade. Miz gets tossed over the commentator’s booth, and then slammed into it headfirst. Riley rolls him back into the ring and continues the attack. Riley has him in the corner and says everything he did was for Miz, and then tosses him into the middle of the ring. Riley heads back up the ramp, ready to start his career anew.
Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Gail Kim & Beth Phoenix v. The Bella Twins, Maryse & Melina
Kelly and Bella start things off. Kharma’s music hits, and this match is probably over.
Kharma enters the ring as all 8 Divas circle her. Instead of attacking, she extends her arms, and falls to the mat crying. She is on her knees bawling her eyes out like her ice cream cone just spilled as we go to commercial. What the hell?
Kofi Kingston v. Drew McIntyre
Kofi leaps over Drew, but gets caught with a strong punch. Cover attempt, but Kofi kicks out. Drew takes the knee of Kofi and slams it into the steel post. Drew then uses the steel post to apply a modified figure four leg lock! Drew rolls back into the ring and goes for the cover. Kofi kicks out. Kingston tries to get something going with a DDT, and sets up for the Boom Drop. Kofi is still limping as he looks for the Trouble in Paradise. As Kofi tries to spin, he knee gives out and he falls to the mat. Cover, but Kofi kicks out. Drew lifts him up for a Powerbomb. Kofi tries to fight free, but the move connects. Cover, but Kofi kicks out again. Drew backs him into the corner, and goes for a clothesline, but Kofi counters into a Jazzamatazz! This match is over.
Winner via Jazzamatazz: Kofi Kingston
In the back we see Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero watching the match.
Video Package: Mock President Obama press conference about the Capitol Punishment PPV
In the back, David Otunga(!) & Michael McGillicutty are celebrating with Mason Ryan & CM Punk. Punk congratulates them, and tells them to watch what he is about to do in the ring.
In the back, Del Rio tells Scott Stanford that Big Show brought this upon himself. But, he says that this isn’t his fault. He says that Ricardo is an idiot.
Video Package: Tribute to Macho Man Randy Savage
Special Guest Referee: Bret “Hitman” Hart
John Cena & Rey Mysterio v. R-Truth & CM Punk
CM Punk is wearing Macho Man inspired tights tonight. Cena and Truth start the match off. Cena immediately throws him to the outside of the ring, and Punk rolls off the apron to help his teammate as we go to our last commercial.
Back from the break, Punk and Cena are in the ring. Truth gets the tag and whips Cena across the ring into the turnbuckle. Cover attempt, but Cena kicks out. Truth punches him in the face, and goes for another cover. Cena kicks out. Punk is tagged into the match, and slams Cena to the mat. He heads to the second rope and drops an elbow. Punk grabs Cena’s arm and wrenches it to the side. Punk takes him to the corner and brings in R-Truth. Cena is hit with a vertical suplex, and then a cover attempt. Hart seems to count slow, and Truth gets in his face. Cena is whipped into the turnbuckle again, but blocks a splash with his foot. Punk gets the tag, and stops Cena from making one of his own. Cena is dropped with a backbreaker, and then gets set up for a Sharpshooter. Cena tries to counter into an STF, but Punks kicks him off. Punk lifts him up for the GTS, but Cena counters into a DDT!
Rey Mysterio gets the tag and flies into the ring with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors. Truth has to run into the ring to break the pin. Cena comes into the ring to help, but Truth is able to fight him off. Rey kicks him into the ropes for the 619, but Punk hits Rey. Punk is then sent into the ropes himself, and this time the 619 connects! Hart punches Punk in the face, and then puts him in the Sharpshooter! Rey Mysterio hits a springboard leg drop, and this match is over.
Winners via 619/Sharpshooter: Rey Mysterio & John Cena
Pretty awesome RAW tonight. Where to start?
David Otunga is a 2 time WWE Tag Team Champion!! I know a lot of people don’t like the guy, but I don’t care. I genuinely enjoy watching him in the ring. Congratulations man, you deserve it.
Nice open to the show tonight, quick and sweet. I’m a fan of R-Truth’s new theme, or lack thereof. When done correctly, that sort of entrance can be quite effective. I’m glad that they at least addressed the Truth/Cena relationship. Back during the original Nexus angle, Truth was one of the key guys trying to convince Cena to do the right thing. At least creative addressed the continuity, we aren’t always so lucky.
I’m a fan of hokey injury angles, so I enjoyed the attack on Show’s leg. He and Kane were on a decent run, but I guess there were other plans.
Evan Bourne is not being buried, they are setting up a feud with Swagger. I just wanted to address that because there are already people complaining that he is six feet under. Relax, the wrestling business takes a bit of patience.
I’m glad the Michael Cole angle is finally put to rest. He is a very talented announcer, and it will be refreshing to have him back in that normal capacity.
Very intense promo from the Miz. It is undeniable that he is great on the mic. I wasn’t expecting a breakup angle tonight, but it was done very well. Their feud will certainly have legs for at least a couple of months if they so choose. Alex Riley is a pretty impressive in ring performer, so let’s see if he can truly break out.
I really enjoyed the Kharma segment. At first I was baffled, but the more I thought about it, the more I enjoyed it. I’ve been complaining for weeks that I wasn’t into the character, but now I’m interested. I’m curious to know what just happened, and that’s what it’s all about with this type of storyline. Let’s do it!
Drew McIntyre got some pyro, but not a win. Decent match between him and Kofi. I’m a sucker for the figure four around the steel post. Kofi is being built pretty strong at the moment, but for me to fall in line with the character I’m going to need to hear some solid mic work.
The Macho Man video tribute was very well done by the WWE, and I’m glad that they gave him a full segment on the show. He deserves it, rest in peace.
CM Punk was wearing Randy Savage inspired ring gear tonight. Mad props for that one! The main event match itself was fun, which is exactly what it needed to be tonight. The symmetry of Punk teasing the Sharpshooter and then Hart connecting with it was well done. Cena’s leap of victory into the air was pretty hilarious, and destined to be an IWC favorite image for years to come.
*After having to postpone for two months due to the go-home show for Wrestlemania and then the WWE draft, next week is going to be the much anticipated return of the kayfabe recap. Getcha Popcorn Ready!
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