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The Worst That Could Happen
Inter Species Wrestling Invades Connecticut
This Saturday, August 8th, for the first time in its four year history, Inter Species Wrestling will present a full show in the United States in East Hartford at the Knights of Columbus Pavilion, 1831 Main Street.
In the main event, the ISW Champion, Player Uno will defend his belt for the second time in the United States. (His first US title defence was a win against Twiggy during CHIKARA’s King of Trios Day 2.) Uno’s opponent this Saturday will be Hallowicked. Beyond the prestige of winning the ISW title, Hallowicked will be looking for revenge against Player Uno for having ended his record-setting run as the CHIKARA tag team champions with Delirious as Incoherence. (Uno and Stupefied, the Super Smash Brothers, beat Incoherence for the belts in September 2008.)
Watch the ISW pre-show on Hybrid Entertainment Television ? an online television station, specializing in wrestling, boxing, and MMA. Check them out at www.hybrident.tv to see the ISW pre-show and the latest from groups such as CZW and Chikara.
The Worst That Could Happen
Card Quick and Dirty
ISW Title Match: ISW Champion Player Uno vs. Hallowicked
ISW Other Title Match: ISW Other Champion Moohammad the Terrorist Cow vs. Stinky the Homeless Guy
Triple Threat Match: Zombiefied vs. El Generico vs. Jigsaw
Bunkhouse Brawl: Twiggy vs. Beef Wellington
Brains Are Pink: Izzy Deadyet vs. Pinky Sanchez
Badd Blood: The Badd Boys (Chad & Brad Badd) vs. Vin Gerard and Buck Hawke
The Pirate vs. The Sea Monster: Jolly Roger vs. Hydra
Connecticut Co-ed Match: Sexxxy Eddy vs. Addy Starr
The Worst That Could Happen
Let me begin by addressing the Elephant Tiger in the room, or rather the Giant Tiger that might not be in the room. Let me begin by saying that ISW management has done everything to get Giant Tiger to Connecticut. And I am in an excellent position to know since the relations between Giant Tiger and ISW Owner Mike Rotch have become so poisoned that at this point, I am one of the few people that GT will actually speak to. At various points it seemed like we had an agreement in place, but every time we were about to announce that Giant Tiger would be at the show, a new demand would be made. By this point the list of riders in Giant Tiger’s contract would make the Guns and Roses riders seem downright sane.
It doesn’t help that Giant Tiger is not what you would call the most coherent of people. I completely wasted a day arranging pralines for Giant Tiger’s dressing room only to find out that what he wanted was a trampoline. (Apparently he likes to watch Meatball bounce.)
The one thing that I can confirm is that if you see me in Connecticut that will mean that Giant Tiger did not come, because one of his demands was to be chauffeured to Connecticut in style, with the back seat entirely to himself. When I pointed out to GT that car space and budgets being at a premium that would mean that the seat that he would be taking over would be mine, leaving me behind in Montreal, he told me, “That’s a sacrifice that I am prepared to make.”
And one that I would be prepared to make as well. As much as I want to be there to see the show, ISW needs Giant Tiger a lot more than they need their (relatively) powerless Commissioner and Worst Ring Announcer in the Multiverse.
But whether GT finally says, “Yes that’s enough, I will come1” … or not, ISW will still give you a great show with some great wrestling, and some other stuff.
Providing the great wrestling will be El Generico who will face the Fastest Zombie Alive Undead, Zombified as well as Jigsaw in a Triple Threat Match that will give you wrestling as good as you are likely to find anywhere in North America.
Since I accidentally made Stinky the first Other Champion of ISW when Stinky went dumpster diving and came up with our first ISW title belt binned by Kevin Steen, I have a keen interest to see what happens when Moohammad the Terrorist Cow defends his gold against Stinky. I would say “hard-won” gold, but Moohammad helped Flip steal the belt from Stinky during the Vans Warped outdoor show and then followed the Terrorist Cow’s orders to lay down to make Moohammad the third and current ISW Other Champion. Stinky wants his belt back and who could blame him?
One man who would be delighted if Giant Tiger stayed home is GT’s longtime feud victim, Beef Wellington. Admittedly Beef seems to have finally escaped from Tiger’s shadow, but he doesn’t like to be reminded. Meanwhile, Beef stumbled out of one feud directly into one with a man just as popular as Giant Tiger (and trust me on this much nicer in person – also more hygienic) the ISW Air Guitar Hero, Twiggy. No one could ever accuse Twiggy of lacking in guts, but he will need more than courage to survive a Bunkhouse Brawl against the bigger, meaner and more vicious Beef Wellington in a match without rules to restrain Beef’s temper.
Of course, sometimes rules are overrated. The Badd Boys have never been too concerned about the rule book. As far as they are concerned, the bigger the rule book, the heavier an object that they have to beat their opponents with. Normally, the Badd Boys send out an open challenge. In this case, Buck Hawke and Vin Gerard have issued an open challenge to the Badd Boys. There is a technical wrestling term for this. Without getting too too technical, Vin Gerard and Buck Hawke are CLINICALLY INSANE.
Also somewhat nuts? This Pinkie Sanchez guy wrestler. Leave aside the clothes. I’m Canadian, I know all about the “It takes a man with balls to wear pink” argument. What makes me question Pinkie’s sanity is that he is actually looking forward to fighting Izzy Deadyet. Look, the master of burial ground and pound has been on a tear that would leave serial killers envious. He hasn’t just been beating opponents, he has been DESTROYING them. Pinkie had better have a plan as elaborate as his wardrobe or he’ll become a fashion victim.
Another match where wardrobe (or lack thereof) might become very important is the rematch between my personal hero, Sexxxy Eddy and the gorgeous Addy Starr. The last time these two met, Eddy won the match, but lost the war as Addy stopped Eddy in his leering tracks with a dick-handle slam that put Eddy on the porn industry’s injured reserve list for weeks. If Giant Tiger comes to Connecticut, he is likely to get Eddy so drunk that anything could happen in this match and if GT stays home, Eddy will be drinking for two and yes, that also means that anything could happen. And in ISW, when we say anything, we are talking about a much broader range of ANYTHING insanity than other wrestling promotions.
Case in point, ISW is pleased to welcome Jolly Roger back to wrestling. To us it only makes sense for the wrestling pirate to face off against a wrestling sea monster like Hydra. But then, we’re nutty that way.
If you are anywhere near Connecticut, come see Inter-Species Wrestling. There will be great wrestling; I personally guarantee that the ring announcer will be completely wretched (or Giant Tiger); there will be things that you never thought that you would ever see anywhere – let alone at a wrestling show and really, when you think about it…
What’s The Worst That Could Happen ?
Giant Tiger apparently just announced that he will NOT in fact be coming to Connecticut. An announcement that he has been making to me privately on a daily basis since the Vans Warped show… Only to call me back an hour later to tell me that he WOULD go, if ISW would only do one little itty bitty tiny thing for him, which yesterday involved getting him one of the organic diamonds that they are making out of the lock of Michael Jackson’s hair that was kept by the producers of the Pepsi commercial who set the King of Pop’s hair on fire. (I wish I was joking.) The only difference is that this time GT made the announcement public, so I expect that this time he really means it… until he changes his mind again. Not that I am frustrated or anything.
***END BREAKING NEWS***
Inter Species Wrestling presents The Worst That Could Happen on Saturday, August 8th, at the Knights of Columbus Hall, 1831 Main Street, East Hartford, Connecticut. Doors open at 7:30PM, Bell rings at 8:00PM. Tickets are $15.00. Card and Times subject to change.
Inter Species Wrestling presents 4 Years of This?! on Sunday, August 23rd, at the Foufounes Electriques, 87 Ste-Catherine East, Montreal. Doors open at 7:30PM, Bell rings at 8:00PM. Tickets are $15.00. 18+ Card and Times subject to change.
International Wrestling Syndicate presents Hardcore Heat on Saturday, August 29th, at the Just For Laughs Museum Studio, 2101 Saint-Laurent, Montreal. Doors open at 8:00PM, Bell rings at 9:00PM. VIP Tickets are $20, Regular Tickets are $15.00. 18+ Card and Times subject to change.
IWS DVD & Ticket Special
I now have copies of the IWS Tenth Anniversary show X in my office. They are $20, or you can get the DVD and a VIP ticket to Hardcore Heat for $30. Special is good until August 23rd. You can pay by paypal: Llakor@hotmail.com or contact me at that e-mail address for more details.