WWF Royal Rumble Results
January 21, 1996
Fresno, California (Selland Arena)
Commentary: Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect
Results by: Mike Tedesco of Wrestleview.com
Video: A sultry Sunny is in a bubble bath. She informs us that tonight’s show contains content of a graphic nature. Viewer indiscretion, er discretion, is advised.
Video: A video opens the show to hype up the matches we’ll see on tonight’s Royal Rumble broadcast.
We go live into the Selland Arena in Fresno, California, to see a fireworks display. Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect welcome us to the show. McMahon says if we were to ever have a perfect Royal Rumble, this would be it. Mr. Perfect says this is the WWF’s Super Bowl.
Video: Footage is shown from In Your House 5 in December, where Jeff Jarrett viciously attacked Ahmed Johnson with a framed gold CD case, as well as a steel chair.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson
Referee: Jimmy Korderas
Jeff Jarrett charges Ahmed Johnson as he gets in the ring, but Johnson ducks it. Johnson punches away at him and sends him into the ropes, but Jarrett holds on and gets out of the ring. Johnson follows him around the ring, so Jarrett gets inside. Jarrett attacks Johnson as he gets in the ring. Johnson blocks a hip toss and hits Jarrett with one. Jarrett gets up and kicks him before applying a side headlock. Jarrett shouts, “I’m gonna give him a wrestling lesson.” Johnson powers Jarrett up and throws him off. Jarrett sidesteps a corner attack and punches him. Johnson counters a whip with a short-arm clothesline. Jarrett pops up and hits the ropes, but Johnson shoulder tackles him. Jarrett tries again for the same result. Johnson connects with a scoop powerslam for a two-count.
Johnson sends Jarrett into the ropes and hits a diving clothesline. Johnson sends Jarrett into the ropes, but Jarrett holds on. Johnson charges, so Jarrett drops down, sending him over the top rope. Johnson’s left hand gets tied in the ropes, and he yells in pain. Jarrett stomps him as Johnson gets his hand released. Jarrett dives off the apron with a clothesline on the floor. Jarrett drives him into the apron before sending him hard into the steel steps. Jarrett rolls Johnson into the ring and chokes him on the middle rope. Jarrett hits the ropes and avalanches him against it. Jarrett struts around as the crowd boos. Jarrett comes off the second rope with a double ax handle to the back, but Johnson absorbs the pain and starts jogging around. Jarrett keeps trying to no avail. Johnson eventually catches him and hits an inverted atomic drop. Johnson sends him into the ropes for a clothesline. Johnson sends him back into the ropes and hits a big spinebuster.
Jarrett rolls out of the ring to recover, so Johnson dives over the top rope and lands on him! Johnson also crashes onto the concrete floor and the metal barricade. Wow. Johnson gets him in the ring and goes to the top rope for a senton bomb, but Jarrett moves. Johnson appears to have tweaked his knee. Jarrett sees the opening and applies a Figure Four Leglock. Johnson is in pain and nearly has his shoulders counted down. Johnson fights through the pain and reverses the pressure by turning over. Jarrett gets out of the hold. Jarrett gets up and begins to attack the injured left knee. Jarrett drops a pair of elbows on the knee before attempting the Figure Four again. Johnson manages to kick him off and over the top rope. Jarrett grabs the guitar he brought with him to the ring. Jarrett goes to the top rope and flies off, smashing the guitar over Johnson’s head on the way down!
Winner by Disqualification: Ahmed Johnson
Jarrett poses as he is announced as the loser of this match by disqualification. A furious Johnson, who still has the guitar wrapped around his head, gets up and destroys the remainder of the guitar. Johnson then gets out of the ring and chases after Jarrett. They both slow down as they approach the entrance and casually walk through to the back. The separated curtain shows the chase is over, and they’re out of character.
Mike’s Thoughts: This was just a match to open this show. This wouldn’t be my top pick to open the show, but I guess they figured Ahmed Johnson was so green that he’d get lost in the shuffle if it happened in the middle. They’re obviously positioning him as a potential top guy at this point, but his lack of experience shows. Also, given their intent to make him a monster guy, they didn’t give him the clean win over Jeff Jarrett he should have had. The DQ was a lame half measure. How many times have they killed potential stars with half measures and even-steven booking? At least the guitar shot looked good. The post-match chase with them casually walking through the curtain and immediately getting out of character was a terrible look.
Locker Room Interview
Todd Pettengill is backstage with “Big Daddy Cool” Diesel. Diesel says a lot of people are trying to think about what he’s thinking. He’s like a kid left at home for the first time: lots of options, and he’ll have the time of his life. Pettengill mentions Shawn Michaels and Vader will be in the Royal Rumble. Last year, Shawn Michaels won the match. Vader has to prove himself in the WWF. Diesel looked at his watch, and it’s not Vader Time. Pettengill asks who he thinks he’ll face for the WWF Championship at WrestleMania. Diesel doesn’t have a problem with the Undertaker. He doesn’t care who he faces. He just wants his title back.
The Bodydonnas make their way to the ring. Sunny introduces them and says they’ll be winning the Tag Team Titles tonight.
WWF Tag Team Championship
The Bodydonnas (Skip and Zip) w/ Sunny vs. The Smoking Gunns (Bart Gunn and Billy Gunn) (c’s)
Referee: Jack Doan
Skip will start against Billy Gunn. They circle the ring and lock up. Skip applies a side headlock, so Billy whips him off and clotheslines him down for a two-count. Skip fires back with a head-scissor takeover. Billy pops up and hits a back body drop. Skip leans against the ropes. Billy charges, but Skip ducks down to send him over the top rope. Bart Gunn runs in, but the Bodydonnas quickly send him packing. Billy gets on the apron, so they bring him in the hard way. The Bodydonnas send him into the ropes for a double-team back elbow. Bart gets on the apron, so they try to bring him in the hard way. Bart turns it around on them and sends him over the top rope to the floor. Billy then dives over the top rope onto them. The Smoking Gunns stand tall in the ring.
Skip slowly gets back in the ring and takes Billy down. Billy kicks him away. The Smoking Gunns go back and forth, punching Skip. Sunny gets on the apron to shout at Skip. Zip runs in, but the Smoking Gunns take him down. Skip soon tags Zip in. Sunny distracts the Smoking Gunns by hiking up her skirt. Zip wants Bart, so he tags in. They lock up, and Zip wrenches the arm. Zip chops him a few times, but Bart absorbs the pain. Bart chops him in the corner before sending him into the corner. Bart presses Zip above his head and hits a slam. Skip blind tags in and clotheslines Bart down. Billy blind tags in, and the Smoking Gunns hit a Hart Attack. Sunny is on the apron to distract the referee. Skip whips Billy into the ropes, which knocks Sunny off the apron to the floor. Billy gets out of the ring to check on her. Billy seems to be seduced by her. Zip and Skip come off the apron to attack Billy. Sunny gets up and celebrates, showing she wasn’t injured. Bart runs over and attacks the Bodydonnas. Zip holds Billy up at ringside, and Skip connects with a plancha. Zip gets Billy in the ring and tags in. Skip hits a scoop slam before hitting Zip with a front suplex onto Billy for a two-count. Zip attacks Billy and bounces him off the top turnbuckle. Skip puts his boot on the top rope, and Zip slams Billy’s head into it. Zip hits a scoop slam and tags Skip in. Zip hits Skip with a gutwrench powerbomb onto Billy for a two-count. Skip knocks Bart down on the apron. The referee stops Bart from getting in the ring. The Bodydonnas double-team Billy. Zip hits a snapmare and applies a rear chin lock. Billy fights up and gets out with something that the cameras missed. McMahon assures us it was a beautiful maneuver. Skip tags in and slips going to the second rope. Skip then flies off and lands on Billy for a two-count. Zip tags in, and they double-team Billy before hitting a double-team flapjack. Sunny celebrates at ringside as Zip picks up a near fall. Skip tags in, and they attempt a spot where everyone is supposed to collide, but it doesn’t go right.
Bart tags in and attacks the Bodydonnas with forearms. Bart hits Skip with a back body drop before hitting Zip with a back elbow. 1… 2… Skip breaks it up. Billy attacks Skip. The Smoking Gunns whip the Bodydonnas into each other. Zip accidentally hits Skip with a back body drop. Bart then dropkicks Zip into Billy, who hits him with a scoop slam. Billy tags in. The Smoking Gunns hit the Sidewinder, but Sunny is distracting the referee. Skip hits Bart with a diving headbutt and covers for a near fall. Sunny is upset with the count. The Bodydonnas send Bart into the ropes for a double-team back body drop. They try for a double-team suplex, but Billy spears Zip down. Bart bumbles into a roll-up on Skip for the win.
Winners by Pinfall and still WWF Tag Team Champions: The Smoking Gunns
Mike’s Thoughts: Pretty sloppy in some spots. They were working hard, but it was way too clunky to be passable. They’re really doubling down on the Sunny stuff. We’ve got some Sunny days ahead of us.
Video: Highlights from Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin’ War Room are shown.
Video: WWF Intercontinental Championship
Goldust makes his way to the ring alongside a voluptuous woman. She smokes a cigar as she walks with Goldust. The usher is also there.
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Goldust w/ Marlena vs. Razor Ramon (c)
Referee: Tim White
Goldust seductively eyes Razor Ramon up in the corner of the ring. Marlena (only identified at the moment as a “young lady”) is seated in a gold director’s chair. The usher stands behind her. Goldust rubs himself and sticks his tongue out to loud boos. Ramon throws his toothpick into Goldust’s face and prepares to fight. Goldust circles the ring and backs away from a lock-up. Goldust rubs himself again as they circle the ring. Goldust keeps playing mind games, so Ramon grabs the arm and yanks him down to the mat a few times. Ramon applies an armbar and slaps him on the back of the head. Ramon applies a side headlock, but Goldust slides out and rubs himself. Goldust looks over to Marlena before Ramon grabs him. Goldust turns out of a waistlock and rubs Ramon’s chest. Ramon is furious, but Goldust puts himself through the ropes. A “Razor” chant picks up. They lock up, and Ramon soon powers him to the corner. Goldust turns him around and rubs his hair, so Ramon furiously shoves him down. Goldust puts himself through the ropes to keep Ramon back.
They lock up, and Ramon wrenches the arm. Goldust twists out of a hammerlock and slaps him in the face. Goldust backs up before Ramon hits him with a drop toehold and slaps him on the back of the head. Ramon slaps him in the face and then on the rear end, but Goldust appears to like that. Ramon then slaps him in the face, knocking him out of the ring. Ramon follows him around ringside, so Goldust pulls the woman in front of him as a human shield. Ramon backs off and waits for Goldust to get away from him. They get back into the ring before locking up. Goldust hits a headlock takeover, but Ramon grapevines the head. They start doing some chain wrestling before Ramon punches him in the face. Goldust rolls out of the ring and uses the woman as a human shield again. Ramon is frustrated and gets in the ring, waiting for Goldust. Goldust slowly gets in and taunts him. Ramon kicks him and sends him into the ropes. Goldust holds the ropes and rubs himself, so Ramon clotheslines him over the top rope and celebrates.
Ramon follows him around ringside, and Goldust puts the woman in front of him again. Ramon lifts her up and moves her out of the way. Goldust attacks Ramon and drives him into the apron before punching him in the face. Goldust drives him back into the apron and connects with an uppercut. Goldust rolls Ramon into the ring and goes to the top rope for a double ax handle. Goldust punches him to the corner before sending him into the opposite corner. Goldust whips him into the corner two more times before hitting a running bulldog for a near fall. Goldust lifts him, springs him off the top rope, and hits a high-angle back suplex for a two-count. The woman calls the camera over. Goldust puts Ramon on the middle rope, and she blows gold dust in his face. Ramon has had enough and punches away at Goldust. Ramon sends Goldust into the ropes, but Goldust counters with a facebuster, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for a two-count. Goldust sends Ramon into the ropes and applies a sleeper hold. Ramon is fading and drops to the mat. Ramon starts to get fired up and fights to his feet. Ramon walks forward and traps the referee in the corner before kicking back to low blow Goldust.
Both men are down. Goldust takes a few moments before rolling over and covering Ramon for a two-count. Goldust gets to his feet, and Ramon starts punching away at him. Ramon takes him down with a right hand before sending him into the ropes. Ramon blocks a hip toss and hits a chokeslam for a near fall. Ramon connects with a fallaway slam for another two-count. Goldust quickly pokes him in the eyes and goes to the top rope, but Ramon crotches him up there. The woman gets in the ring and distracts the referee as Ramon hits a back superplex. The referee holds her back as Ramon signals for the end. The 1-2-3 Kid runs in and goes to the top rope before hitting a flying spinning kick. The woman gets out of the ring as Goldust covers Ramon. 1… 2… 3! New champion!
Winner by Pinfall and new WWF Intercontinental Champion: Goldust
Goldust now has gold around his waist. Goldust and the woman touch tongues and walk off as gold glitter showers the Selland Arena.
Mike’s Thoughts: A pretty slow, plodding match with a lot of gesticulating and mind games from Goldust. Marlena’s debut was random because she just appeared. They didn’t even give her a name yet, but for the purposes of this recap, I’ll refer to her as Marlena. With all the pressure of a pay-per-view debut, she did well with it. Definitely came off as mysterious and hit all of her spots.
In the ring, it was pretty brutal. Not brutal in that this was a botch-fest. It was brutal, with the shots they were laying into each other. As I mentioned in the Raw recaps, Scott Hall/Razor Ramon DID NOT like this storyline and really took it out on Dustin Rhodes/Goldust. You could see it in the backstage brawl on last Monday’s Raw, and you could see it on this show. Those swings were a little heavy. It’s a bummer that they didn’t work better. It could have been good, but by this point, Ramon already knew he wasn’t renewing his contract and was on his way out. Most likely, he wasn’t thrilled about leaving the company this way. It will all work out for both guys, as Ramon’s move to WCW would become iconic with the nWo (until demons unfortunately got the better of him), and Goldust would go on to become an iconic character (also interrupted by demons, but damn, what a redemption story). But on this night, they didn’t mesh all that well together.
This is the first of Goldust’s three runs with the Intercontinental Championship. This is the last of Razor Ramon’s four Intercontinental Championship runs.
Also, this wasn’t Goldust’s first Royal Rumble match. At the 1991 Royal Rumble, he teamed with his father, Dusty Rhodes, in a losing effort against “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase and Virgil.
Royal Rumble Pre-Match Promos
Dr. Jeffrey Unger, Shawn Michaels’ personal physician, says HBK is ready to get back in the ring. He’s 100% back to where he was before. Unger is concerned with him getting in the ring with 29 other people, but he’ll be on the sidelines to make sure he’s ok.
Owen Hart says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble and end Shawn Michaels’ career, which he should have done the first time.
Jake “The Snake” Roberts says just when you thought the demons were gone, you’ve got a snake to deal with. They’re going to get a taste of him, and he wants a taste of them.
Jerry “The King” Lawler says it’s called the Royal Rumble before it’ll be won by royalty, which he is.
Barry Horowitz reminds us that in the World Wrestling Federation, anything can happen.
Vader is backstage with Jim Cornette. Cornette says this is the kind of thing you wait a lifetime for. Cornette will release this Mastodon into the Royal Rumble. Vader screams that it’s Vader Time and starts headbutting a locker.
Shawn Michaels says he is back in the saddle again. What are his odds of doing it again? He did it once and is bound to do it again. Michaels and all his fans, now known as the Kliq, will take the dreams of a twelve-year-old boy and turn them into destiny and reality. HBK will be the World Wrestling Federation Champion.
Video: Hunter Hearst Helmsley attacked Duke “The Dumpster” Droese with a loaded fist and was disqualified. As a result, Helmsley will enter the Royal Rumble at No. 1, while Droese will be No. 30.
30-Man Royal Rumble Match
No. 1: Hunter Hearst Helmsley
No. 2: Henry O. Godwinn
These two rivals go right at it to start the match, hitting each other with right hands. Helmsley punches away at him in the corner before sending him hard to the opposite side. Godwinn pops out and clotheslines him down before letting out a “SUEY!” Godwinn sends Helmsley into the ropes for a back body drop. Godwinn punches him in the corner before sending him to the opposite corner hard. Helmsley rolls up the turnbuckle and falls to the mat. Godwinn presses him up, but Helmsley thumbs him in the eyes to save himself. Helmsley chokes him on the middle rope and rips at his face. Helmsley punches him a few times, then stands him up and tries to eliminate him. Godwinn elbows out and punches Helmsley down. The clock begins to count down as Godwinn hits a scoop slam.
No. 3: Mr. Bob Backlund
Godwinn is trying to eliminate Helmsley as Backlund gets into the ring. Backlund attacks Godwinn and goes for a whip before punching him. Backlund tries to eliminate Godwinn, but Godwinn punches him away. Helmsley kicks Godwinn and knocks him to the corner. Backlund taps on Helmsley’s shoulder and attacks him. It’s every man for himself. Helmsley and Backlund brawl before Godwinn attacks them. Godwinn tries to eliminate Backlund, but Helmsley cuts him off. Helmsley tries to eliminate Backlund, but Backlund fights back. Godwinn gets in the mix and tries to eliminate Backlund as the clock ticks down.
No. 4: Jerry “The King” Lawler
Helmsley takes Godwinn down with a high knee to the face as the Raw color commentator gets in the ring. Lawler talks a little strategy as Backlund stomps Godwinn. The crowd chants, “Burger King,” upsetting Lawler. Lawler exits through the middle rope and grabs Godwinn’s slop. Helmsley and Backlund hold Godwinn up for Lawler to slop, but Godwinn fights out. Godwinn gets control of the slop, and Lawler, Helmsley, and Backlund bail out of the ring. Helmsley, Backlund, and Lawler are regrouping at ringside when Godwinn sends the slop over the top rope, hitting Backlund and Lawler. Helmsley managed to escape. The front row also got some slop on their shoes. Backlund runs in, but Godwinn punches him down. Godwinn punches Helmsley down and punches Lawler in the corner. Godwinn punches Helmsley down before Lawler knocks him down.
No. 5: Bob Holly
Holly gets in the ring and punches away at Lawler before hitting a back body drop. Backlund tries to eliminate Helmsley, but Godwinn gets involved. Helmsley attacks Godwinn from behind, punching him repeatedly. Helmsley gets Godwinn over the top rope, but he slides in under the ring. Godwinn takes Helmsley down and drops an elbow. Backlund elbows Godwinn in the head and takes it to Helmsley. Lawler is trying to eliminate Holly. Backlund tries to sneak behind Godwinn to eliminate him, but he can’t get him over. Godwinn gets away and attacks Lawler. Godwinn then punches Helmsley down as the clock counts down.
No. 6: King Mabel w/ Sir Mo
Mabel gets in the ring with a new hairstyle, fresh off his time in Puerto Rico in the WWC. That isn’t brought up on the broadcast. Mabel goes after Godwinn. Lawler joins in, but the two kings cannot get Godwinn over the top rope. Helmsley sends Holly into the ropes for a back body drop. Helmsley tries to eliminate Holly. Lawler and Mabel are choking Godwinn on the bottom rope. Backlund tries to eliminate Helmsley and Holly as the clock counts down again.
No. 7: Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Jake “The Snake” Roberts gets a MASSIVE pop! This is his first WWF appearance since losing to the Undertaker at WrestleMania VIII in 1992. Roberts slides his canvas bag containing his snake into the ring. Roberts opens the bag and takes out a HUGE python! The entire ring clears except for Lawler, who doesn’t see what’s going on. Roberts grabs him and throws the python on top of him, to another huge reaction!
A stagehand holds open the bag as the snake goes back in. Holly attacks Roberts as he gets in the ring and punches him in the corner. Everyone reenters the ring. Mabel is knocked against the ropes, and his arms are tied up. Mo tries to get him out from ringside. Godwinn punches Mo away. Everyone but Lawler is in the ring. Mabel gets out of the ropes and chokes Holly in the corner.
No. 8: Dory Funk Jr.
The former NWA Champion gets in the ring. McMahon says Terry Funk was invited to attend, but he’s in Germany filming a movie with Bruce Willis. Funk takes Backlund down. Funk and Backlund are wearing the exact same color tights. McMahon wonders where Lawler disappeared to. A loud “DDT” chant fires up. Roberts gets fired up, but Helmsley punches him into the corner. The camera then sees that Lawler is cowardly hiding under the ring. Godwinn takes Mabel down with a flying clothesline. Backlund hits Funk with a scoop slam.
No. 9: Yokozuna
Godwinn has Helmsley over the top rope, but he stays in. Yokozuna attacks Backlund, who is applying a Crossface Chickenwin to Funk. Yokozuna headbutts Backlund and goes to eliminate him, but Helmsley is in the way. Yokozuna has to stop and redirect before sending Backlund over the top rope for our first elimination.
Mr. Bob Backlund has been eliminated.
Roberts attacks Holly with an inverted atomic drop. Mabel and Yokozuna are going at it. Godwinn is sandwiched behind Yokozuna as Mabel avalanches him. Mabel fights back and tries to eliminate Yokozuna. Holly sends Godwinn into the ropes for a hurricanrana. Another “DDT” chant picks up. Helmsley drops a knee on Godwinn before Mabel crushes him with a big splash.
No. 10: The 1-2-3 Kid
As the 1-2-3 Kid makes his way to the ring, Roberts eliminates Godwinn by simply tossing him over the top rope.
Henry O. Godwinn has been eliminated.
All of a sudden, an irate Razor Ramon chases after Kid. Kid does everything he can to avoid him. WWF officials run down to pull Ramon back. Kid gets in the ring and taunts Ramon. Ramon breaks free and gets in the ring. Kid quickly runs away and gets out of the ring through the middle rope. Yokozuna avalanches Roberts in the corner before choking him. A “Razor” chant picks up. Funk attacks Kid and lifts him for an airplane spin. Mabel lifts Kid by the throat before dropping him in the corner.
No. 11: Takao Omori
Omori gets in the ring, and Kid punches him. Mabel immediately goes after Omori and tries to eliminate him. Helmsley does a Ric Flair face flop after taking some kicks from the Kid. Funk grabs Mabel, and Omori chops and uppercuts him before hitting a dropkick that takes the big man off his feet. Yokozuna and Mabel double-team Omori with chops. Omori fights back and tries to slam Mabel, but he can’t lift him. Roberts takes it to Yokozuna with some punches and has him teetering. Roberts hits the ropes and takes Yokozuna down with a running right hand. Funk hits Kid with a vertical suplex.
No. 12: Savio Vega
Vega goes after Mabel and punches him. Mabel sends him into the ropes, but Vega ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning wheel kick. Omori and Funk concentrate on Roberts as Yokozuna dumps Mabel over the top rope.
King Mabel has been eliminated.
Omori lifts Roberts and puts him over the top rope, but Helmsley sneaks up and dumps him over the top rope. The elimination will be credited to Helmsley and Roberts.
Takao Omori has been eliminated.
Holly attacks Yokozuna and bounces him off the top turnbuckle. Funk hits Vega with a vertical suplex. Kid attacks Funk and tries to eliminate him.
No. 13: Vader w/ Jim Cornette
The man they call Vader is making his WWF debut! The Mastodon gets in the ring, absorbs a kick from Holly, and punches him in the head. Vader headbutts him down. Holly fights back, but Vader overwhelms him. Vega and Funk are going at it on the apron before Vega drops him to the floor.
Dory Funk Jr. has been eliminated.
Vader grabs Vega and brings him back into the ring. Vega fights back, but Vader overwhelms him with some tough strikes. Vega looks like he is out on his feet.
No. 14: Doug Gilbert
Helmsley immediately goes after Gilbert of the USWA. Gilbert fires back as Mr. Perfect talks about being in a tag team with the late Eddie Gilbert. Holly has the Kid over the top rope as Roberts hits his first-ever DDT in the Royal Rumble on Vega! That gets a big pop! Roberts goes for a DDT on Gilbert, but Vader clubs him, sending the Snake stumbling and over the top rope!
Jake “The Snake” Roberts has been eliminated.
Gilbert punches Vega. Vader grabs Gilbert and punches him down a few times. Vader hits a short-arm clothesline. Kid kicks Vader, but Vader easily swats him down. Vader clubs Gilbert in the corner. Vader sends Gilbert into the ropes and avalanches him. Vega catches Vader with a thrust kick and chops him against the ropes.
No. 15: Squat Team #1
This person quickly gets in the ring and starts fighting with Holly. Vader hits Gilbert with a nasty chokeslam, eliciting a “WOO” from Cornette at ringside. Vader grabs Gilbert by the throat before pressing him over his head. Vader nearly loses him, but he powers him up and tosses him over the top rope.
Doug Gilbert has been eliminated.
The Squat Team member attacks Vader, but Vader shakes it off. Vader grabs him and sends him over the top rope.
Squat Team #1 has been eliminated.
Vader and Yokozuna are standing by themselves in opposite corners. No one wants any piece of them. Vader and Yokozuna then start going at it. It’s a rift in Camp Cornette! Cornette gets on the apron to talk some sense into them.
No. 16: Squat Team #2
The Squat Team meets in the aisleway and both head to the ring. Vince McMahon says they’re identical twins. Moments later, Mr. Perfect asks if they’re twins. They struggle to get in the ring. Vader attacks both of them with those massive bear paws. Yokozuna joins in. Vader clotheslines #1 over the top rope before Yokozuna dumps the other one (the legal one) over.
Squat Team #2 has been eliminated.
Vega is trying to eliminate Helmsley when Vader grabs him and clubs him down. Vader pulls Vega to his feet and lays in a right hand. Vega fights back with some kicks and chops. Helmsley and Vega double-team Vader in the corner.
No. 17: Owen Hart
Helmsley is trying to eliminate Holly. Hart gets some punches in on Holly as he gets in the ring. Hart and Helmsley try to eliminate Hart, but they’re unsuccessful. Vader dropkicks Vader, who appears to have his tights on backward. Yokozuna holds Vega up as Vader punches away at him. Vader sends Vega to the corner and whips Yokozuna into him, shifting the ring a bit. Vader then avalanches Vega down. Yokozuna is gasping for air. Vader hits Vega with a scoop slam before hitting a big splash. Yokozuna follows up with a leg drop.
No. 18: Shawn Michaels
Shawn Michaels is back in action for the first time since collapsing in the ring on Raw in November! The crowd goes wild. HBK goes right after Vega before punching Kid and attacking Helmsley. Vader sends Vega over the top rope.
Savio Vega has been eliminated.
HBK knocks Holly away and goes after Hart, who kicked him in the head and caused him to collapse. Yokozuna and Vader start punching away at each other. Vader’s mask comes off as they brawl. Yokozuna headbutts Vader down. Cornette tries to talk some sense into them at ringside. Yokozuna presses Vader against the ropes. HBK comes up from behind and dumps them both over the top rope! The crowd cannot believe it… and neither can Cornette!
Yokozuna has been eliminated.
Vader has been eliminated.
HBK punches Helmsley down before going after Kid. HBK presses Kid over his head and tosses him over the top rope!
The 1-2-3 Kid has been eliminated.
HBK punches Holly down before punching Helmsley. HBK hits Hart with a snapmare and stomps him.
No. 19: Hakushi
Vader and Yokozuna are brawling at ringside. A furious Vader gets in the ring and grabs HBK before headbutting him down. Vader punches away at HBK in the corner before pressing him over his head and throwing him over the top rope! McMahon says HBK hasn’t been eliminated since Vader isn’t legal in the match. Vader sends Hart out of the ring and attacks Helmsley with headbutts and punches before sending him over the top rope. Holly attacks Vader, but Vader dumps him over the top rope. Vader sends Hart out of the ring again. WWF Interim President Gorilla Monsoon gets in the ring with WWF officials and orders Vader out of the ring. Jim Cornette begs Vader off. Vader spits at the referees and poses to loud boos. Vader leaves the ring as the clock counts down.
No. 20: Tatanka
In the ring, HBK grabs Cornette and sends him over the top rope. Cornette didn’t go over the first time, so HBK knocks him over. Hakushi hits Hart with a flying chop. Holly punches away at HBK and bounces him in the corner. Hakushi hits Hart with a handspring back elbow. Helmsley attacks Hakushi from behind. Tatanka gets in the ring, returning to action for the first time since August 1995, and goes after Hakushi. Hart attacks Hakushi. Helmsley attacks Tatanka in the corner. Tatanka fights out and goes after Hart, trying to eliminate him to no avail. Hakushi sends HBK over the top rope, but he holds on. Helmsley punches HBK over the top rope, but HBK slides in under the bottom rope. Hart sends Hakushi to the corner. Hakushi tries to slingshot over him, but Hart catches him and dumps him over the top rope.
Hakushi has been eliminated.
No. 21: Aldo Montoya
Montoya gets in the ring and starts hitting anything that moves. Helmsley hits HBK with a high knee to the face. HBK falls out of the ring through the middle rope. Montoya continues to hit everyone. HBK is taking a breather outside. Holly grabs at him, but HBK punches him away. HBK then goes under the ring and retrieves Lawler, who has been hiding under there for maybe a half-hour. Lawler is grabbing at cables to hold himself back. HBK punches Lawler down at ringside and gets him in the ring. HBK punches Lawler and punches him over the top rope.
Jerry “The King” Lawler has been eliminated.
No. 22: Diesel
Diesel gets in the ring and punches Helmsley down before attacking Tatanka and dumping him over the top rope. Diesel attacks Holly and Hart. HBK elbows Helmsley down. HBK and Diesel bump into each other. Diesel punches his best friend down. HBK pops up and attacks him. Diesel knees him away. Hart goes after Diesel before poking him in the eyes. Hart shoulders Diesel in the corner. Diesel fights out and attacks Holly. Holly nearly had HBK out, which prompts Mr. Perfect to ask how it makes sense to attack him as he nearly had a competitor out. McMahon exclaims it doesn’t have to make sense since it’s the Royal Rumble.
No. 23: Kama
The Supreme Fighting Machine gets in the ring and attacks Diesel. Kama stomps Diesel in the corner. On the other side of the ring, HBK hits Holly with the ten punches. HBK lifts Holly and tries to eliminate him. Diesel punches away at Kama. Kama turns it on Diesel, but HBK attacks him from behind. HBK holds Kama up. Diesel punches Kama before Kama ducks, and HBK takes the punch. Hart nearly has Helmsley eliminated, but he holds on.
No. 24: The Ringmaster w/ “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase
The Million Dollar Champion gets in the ring and chop blocks Holly before stomping him. Ringmaster attacks Holly in the corner and elbows him. Holly turns Ringmaster around and chops him. Diesel attacks Ringmaster, but Ringmaster fights back at him. HBK holds on from being eliminated. Holly sends Ringmaster over the top rope, but he holds on. Ringmaster then knocks Holly from behind, sending him over the top rope. Holly lasted nearly 40 minutes at 39:35.
Bob Holly has been eliminated.
Hart is trying to eliminate HBK, but he ties himself up in the ropes to stay in there.
No. 25: Barry Horowitz
Horowitz pats himself on the back and gets in the ring. Diesel attacks Horowitz as he gets in the ring. Diesel punches him down. HBK nearly eliminates Hart, but he skins the cat to get back in the ring. Helmsley hits Ringmaster with a diving clothesline. Horowitz attacks Hart. HBK soon concentrates on Horowitz and punches away at him. Kama and Helmsley double-team Diesel. Diesel fights out and grabs Helmsley before wildly eliminating him! Helmsley, who entered at No. 1, lasted 48:04.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley has been eliminated.
Kama attacks Hart in the corner. Ringmaster attacks HBK and hits a snapmare.
No. 26: “Make a Difference” Fatu
HBK hits Horowitz with a missile dropkick. Fatu hits Kama with a thrust kick and punches Hart. Fatu punches HBK down. Horowitz uppercuts Hart in the corner before choking him with his boot. Diesel is concentrating on the Ringmaster. Fatu tries to eliminate Kama, but he rakes his eyes to save himself. Diesel elbows Ringmaster down in the corner and punches him. Ringmaster kicks back at him. Hart tries to suplex HBK out of the ring, but he lands on the apron. HBK pulls Hart to the apron as the clock counts down.
No. 27: Isaac Yankem, DDS
Horowitz knees Hart down. Yankem gets in the ring and goes after Diesel. Horowitz charges, but Hart hits him with a back body drop over the top rope.
Barry Horowitz has been eliminated.
Yankem punches Diesel down in the corner. HBK blocks a kick from Hart, but Hart hits him with an enzuigiri, the same move that knocked him out in November. HBK is down on the mat. Hart grabs HBK and tries to eliminate him, but Diesel comes up from behind and eliminates Hart!
Owen Hart has been eliminated.
HBK slowly gets up, but the Ringmaster levels him with a clothesline. Diesel attacks Ringmaster from behind. Kama attacks Yankem. Fatu punches HBK in the face.
No. 28: Marty Jannetty
Jannetty goes after Diesel and punches away at Big Daddy Cool. Kama and Yankem quickly attack Jannetty. Jannetty fights them off. Fatu nearly has HBK eliminated, but he holds on. Fatu hits Yankem with a thrust kick. Jannetty punches away at Fatu, but Fatu headbutts him back. Ringmaster punches Diesel down in the corner and mocks him. Jannetty and HBK go at it. The former Rockers hit each other with right hands before hitting the ropes and clunking heads. Diesel grabs Jannetty and nearly caves the ring in with a sidewalk slam.
No. 29: The British Bulldog
The British Bulldog runs down to the ring and attacks HBK. Bulldog headbutts the man who eliminated him in last year’s Royal Rumble. Ringmaster shoulders away at Yankem in the corner. Diana Hart is shown at ringside. Jannetty attacks Bulldog, but Bulldog eliminates him with a back body drop.
Marty Jannetty has been eliminated.
Fatu and the Ringmaster are going at it in the center of the ring. Fatu knocks him down before hitting a clothesline over the top rope.
The Ringmaster has been eliminated.
The camera was not on the Ringmaster as he was eliminated, so that doesn’t appear to be planned. Yankem then knocks Fatu over the top rope.
“Make a Difference” Fatu has been eliminated.
Bulldog attacks Yankem and tries to eliminate him. We know who No. 30 will be since he was victorious over Hunter Hearst Helmsley on the Free for All.
No. 30: Duke “The Dumpster” Droese
Droese goes after Yankem. HBK and Bulldog brawl out of the ring through the middle rope. Hart attacks HBK from behind and bounces his face off the barricade. WWF officials run down to send Hart to the back. Bulldog grabs HBK and puts him in the ring. Bulldog presses HBK up, but Diesel punches him to save HBK. HBK gets up and hits Yankem with a dropkick to send him over the top rope.
Isaac Yankem, DDS, has been eliminated.
Diesel and Kama team up to send Droese over the top rope in perhaps the most pointless No. 30 spot in Royal Rumble history.
Duke “The Dumpster” Droese has been eliminated.
The final four of the 1996 Royal Rumble are Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Kama, and the British Bulldog. It doesn’t last long as HBK slides under Bulldog and clotheslines him over the top rope!
The British Bulldog has been eliminated.
Kama attacks HBK from behind and nearly knocks him over the top rope, but he skins the cat to stay in the Royal Rumble. Diesel quickly grabs Kama and shoves him over the top rope. HBK then catches Diesel with Sweet Chin Music to send him over the top rope! HBK is a back-to-back Royal Rumble winner!
Kama has been eliminated.
Diesel has been eliminated.
Winner: Shawn Michaels
The crowd goes wild as Shawn Michaels celebrates big time. The boyhood dream is one step closer to coming true! Michaels is going to WrestleMania XII to face the WWF Champion.
Diesel is furious and attacks the British Bulldog as he goes up the aisleway. Dok Hendrix comes over to interview Diesel, but Diesel says the only reason Shawn Michaels is breathing is because he’s allowing it. Diesel heads back to the ring. HBK is starting to take his trunks off for some reason. The tights get really low as a disgusted Mr. Perfect wonders, “What is that?”
Diesel gets in the ring, and Shawn Michaels looks worried. Diesel then holds his hand up, and Michaels gives him a high five. Diesel heads to the corner as Michaels celebrates and poses in the ring. Luckily, his tights stay on. Michaels goes to the ringside and high-fives the fans. A frustrated Diesel leans his head against the ring post, wondering what he has to do to get back to the World Wrestling Federation Championship.
Mike’s Thoughts: Even though it was crystal clear that Shawn Michaels was winning the Royal Rumble, the crowd still reacted HUGE to it. The last few eliminations were well executed and kept the excitement high.
They say it’s not how you start but how you finish, and this match finished strong. Unfortunately, it was supremely dull in spots with only a few highlights before we got to the end. The talent roster was unbelievably thin in this match. When you have to fill spots with not one Squat Team member but two, you know you’re in trouble. They were so limited and awful. So many guys were just there, and a few overstayed their welcome. The ring was constantly filled with guys, so for the majority of the match, it was just a cluster of random people throwing punches. Many of the guests were underwhelming. Dory Funk looked exactly the same as he does today, which is an 80-year-old guy.
Still, Jake Roberts was a huge highlight, finally hitting a DDT in the Royal Rumble. Roberts looked really old and out of shape, but the crowd ate up everything he did. Vader also had a spectacular debut, even though he was apparently wearing his tights backward. They did a great job of making him look like a complete behemoth, mauling people and running through the field. The brawl with Yokozuna, leading to Shawn Michaels eliminating both, was well done, as was Vader going back into the match to attack everyone and clearing the ring with unofficial eliminations. It doesn’t really go well for Vader as he gets into his WWF run, but it starts off awesome.
Some interesting notes in this: for starters, it was the first Royal Rumble of future legends Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H, and Kane. Funny enough, when Isaac Yankem (Kane) got into the Rumble, he attacked Diesel, who, a few months from now, he’ll be portraying in a hideous storyline. I can’t wait to cover that one… Helmsley, who it’s clear they see something in, was the iron man of the Royal Rumble, going just over 48 minutes. Yankem was a non-factor, but he did get his first elimination. As it stands, he is the all-time leader with 46 eliminations in 20 Royal Rumbles. Roman Reigns is closest at 36. Braun Strowman has 37, but he’s not active. For Austin/Ringmaster, he looked aggressive in this. He told the story in the past that he wasn’t supposed to be eliminated by Fatu, but the ropes had too much baby oil on it and he slipped. From the look of the video, that seems like a tall tale because he went hard over the top rope and really didn’t make any attempt to save himself.
In other news, Mabel injured Henry O. Godwinn, which is why Jake Roberts unceremoniously dumped him out without any fanfare or real acknowledgement on television. Godwinn just wanted to get out of there. Mabel continues that streak of injuring people. Luckily for all the WWF wrestlers, this is Mabel’s last appearance for the company. He’ll be back for a one-off in 1998 and then back full-time in 1999 as Viscera. Bam Bam Bigelow was also booked for this event, but he no-showed!
In any event, Shawn Michaels is the big winner at the start of the biggest run of his career (to this point). Great result, but it was tough getting there with the severe lack of depth.
Howard Finkel announces it is now time for the main event.
The Undertaker makes his way to the ring with Paul Bearer. As they head down the aisleway, Undertaker comes face-to-face with Diesel. Diesel shoves Paul Bearer. Undertaker takes off his hat and jacket and attacks Diesel. WWF officials run over. Diesel and Undertaker begin to brawl. Bearer, who has had the gold chain melted back into the traditional urn, holds it up to get control of the Undertaker. Diesel walks to the back as he says, “I ain’t afraid of the dark.”
Mike’s Thoughts: Gosh, if that doesn’t give away the ending to the main event of the Royal Rumble, I don’t know what will.
WWF Championship
The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer vs. Bret “Hitman” Hart (c)
Referee: Earl Hebner
The bell rings, and Bret Hart circles around the Undertaker, who is still in his face mask. Hart ducks two attempts from the Undertaker to lock up with the WWF Champion. Hart ducks him a third time and punches away at him in the corner. Undertaker doesn’t feel the punches and throws the Excellence of Execution into the corner before punching away at him and grabbing him by the throat. The referee counts for the Undertaker to let go, so the Undertaker quickly turns and scares him away. Undertaker clubs Hart from behind and uppercuts him down. Undertaker whips him hard into the corner before lifting him with two hands by the throat. Undertaker unceremoniously drops the WWF Champion to the mat and looks at the referee again. Undertaker bounces Hart off the top turnbuckle and rips at his face. Undertaker punches him in the corner before clubbing the back. Undertaker lays in an uppercut before whipping him hard into the corner again. Hart drops to his knees in pain. Undertaker gets him to his feet and applies an iron claw. Hart fights to his feet, but Undertaker cinches in the claw to bring him to his knees. Undertaker powers him to the canvas. 1… 2… Hart picks a shoulder off the mat. Undertaker keeps the claw applied. Hart gets a foot on the bottom rope, but Paul Bearer pushes it off twice. Hart finally wraps both of his legs around the bottom rope to break the claw. Undertaker stomps the back before wrenching the arm. Undertaker climbs to the top rope, walks a few steps, and comes off with a club to the spine. Undertaker goes back to the iron claw, driving the Hitman to the canvas. Hart fights up, so Undertaker powers him to the corner. Undertaker hits a big uppercut before whipping him hard into the corner. The ring shifts from the impact. Undertaker charges, but Hart boots him back. Hart quickly goes to the second rope and hits a flying clothesline. Undertaker is still on his feet, so Hart clotheslines him over the top rope. Undertaker lands on his feet, so Hart takes the Dead Man down with a plancha and punches away at him.
Undertaker soon sits up and grabs Hart on the apron. Hart kicks him away and leaps, but Undertaker catches him and drives his spine into the ring post. Hart is in a lot of pain as he lies on the ringside mats. Undertaker quickly gets in the ring to stop the countout. Undertaker punches Hart, who is hobbling around. Undertaker scoops him up, but Hart slides off and drives him into the ring post. Hart backs up and charges, but Undertaker boots him down on the floor. Undertaker grabs Hart and bounces his face off the barricade. Undertaker punches Hart. Undertaker goes for a whip, but Hart reverses it into the steel steps. Undertaker is holding his knee in pain, so Hart zeroes in on it with strikes. Hart scares Bearer away before dragging Undertaker onto the steps and slamming his injured leg on them. Hart gets in the ring to break the countout. Hart gets Undertaker in the ring and punches the Phenom down before stretching out the leg. Hart continues to work on the leg before putting it on the bottom rope and jumping onto it. Hart repeats the move before ripping at the face mask. Hart stretches the leg again, and Undertaker is struggling to get up. Hart puts his body weight on the injured leg and stretches it. The referee nearly counts Undertaker’s shoulders down. Hart drives his knee into the injured leg and stretches it some more. Hart kicks his leg out before applying a Figure Four Leglock. Undertaker is in a lot of pain. The referee nearly counts his shoulders down twice. Bearer holds the reincarnated urn up as Undertaker reaches for it. Undertaker then uses his power to try to turn Hart over. After some struggle, he does, reversing the pressure on the WWF Champion. Hart, trapped in a deathlock of his own making, painfully grabs the bottom rope. Undertaker breaks the hold.
Undertaker gets to his feet, hobbling. Undertaker approaches Hart in the corner, but Hart attacks the leg and kicks him down. Hart continues to attack the leg. Undertaker hobbles to the corner, so Hart puts it around the middle rope and stretches it out. Undertaker manages to punch his way out of it. Hart knocks him down and drags him to the center of the ring. Hart kicks the leg and drops an elbow on it. Hart applies a leglock, so Undertaker sits up and grabs the hair. Undertaker elbows him in the head and tries to fight out, so Hart rolls over and rips at the facial appliance. Undertaker manages to get away. Undertaker grabs him, but Hart kicks him in the leg and takes him down. Hart starts to stretch the leg again. Hart lays in some strikes to the leg and keeps stretching it. Undertaker grabs Hart’s face, pulls him back, and chops him a few times with his healthy leg. Undertaker pulls himself to his feet and hobbles around. Hart is rocked from the shots to the head. Undertaker sends him out of the ring and tries to take a few moments to recover.
Undertaker goes outside and smashes Hart’s face off the steps. Hart’s leg hits the sharp point of the steps as he falls. Undertaker grabs a camera cable and chokes Hart with it. Paul Bearer is distracting the referee, which is why that wasn’t a disqualification. Undertaker pulls Hart around ringside and smashes him off the timekeeper’s area. The ring bell clatters to the floor. Undertaker drives a chair into Hart’s ribs as Bearer keeps distracting the referee. Undertaker gets Hart into the ring and bounces him in the corner. Undertaker sends him into the ropes, but Hart ducks a big boot. Hart kicks the injured leg and stretches it. Hart takes him down as the crowd starts to boo. Hart forearms Undertaker in the head as he continues to stretch the leg out. Hart picks up the leg and drags him over to the ring post. Hart kicks the steps away and smashes Undertaker’s injured leg off the ring post twice. This elicits a mixed reaction from the crowd. Hart gets in the ring and kicks Undertaker’s injured leg and snaps it back. Hart drops an elbow on the leg and stretches it out. Hart gets up and drives his knee into the injured leg. Hart sets up for a Sharpshooter, but Undertaker pulls him down.
Undertaker, who is having trouble staying on his feet, punches Hart against the ropes before punching him down. Undertaker drops a leg on the WWF Champion and pulls him to his feet. Undertaker sends Hart into the ropes for a clothesline. The crowd gives Undertaker a mixed reaction. Undertaker scoops Hart up for the Tombstone Piledriver, but Hart slides off to the apron. Undertaker uppercuts him to the floor. Hart gets up and gets on the apron. Undertaker grabs him, but Hart snaps him off the top rope. Undertaker quickly kicks him as he gets in the ring. Undertaker sends him into the ropes, but Hart quickly hooks the head and hits a DDT for a two-count. Undertaker sits up, and the crowd is starting to come alive. Hart headbutts him in the spine a few times before hitting a Russian leg sweep. Undertaker sits up, seemingly impervious to pain. Hart punches him and connects with a running bulldog. Undertaker still manages to sit up! Paul Bearer holds the urn up. Hart grabs Undertaker and hits a backbreaker. Hart starts to go to the second rope, but Undertaker starts to sit up. Hart cannot believe it, but Undertaker can’t sit all the way up. Hart goes to the second rope and hits a diving elbow. The crowd is booing, and Hart gives the thumbs down. Hart goes for a Sharpshooter, but Undertaker grabs him by the throat and knees him in the midsection. Undertaker punches him. Undertaker sends him into the ropes, but Hart ducks a clothesline. Hart hits the ropes, and they take each other out with a double clothesline.
Both men are down. The referee is counting them down, but Hart gets up at six. Hart goes to the corner and removes the top turnbuckle pad. Undertaker sits up. Hart punches away at Undertaker before ripping at the face mask. Undertaker pulls him off, but Hart has the mask! Hart looks shocked at Undertaker’s face. Hart avoids a pair of strikes and punches him. Undertaker reverses a hard whip into the corner. Hart elbows him back and smashes his face off the exposed turnbuckle. Hart smashes him off the turnbuckle a second time, and the crowd is loudly booing the Hitman! Hart headbutts Undertaker a few times before clubbing the back. Hart hits the ropes and goes for a running crossbody, but Undertaker catches him and hits a Tombstone Piledriver! Wow! 1… Diesel pulls the referee out of the ring!
Winner by Disqualification: The Undertaker
Howard Finkel announces that Bret Hart has been disqualified as a result of outside interference. The Undertaker is not happy and wants the WWF Championship. Diesel smirks at the Undertaker. Finkel reminds the audience that the WWF Championship cannot change hands on a disqualification. Undertaker angrily looks at Diesel. Diesel gives him the middle finger and heads to the back! Undertaker furiously walks after him.
Bret Hart’s music plays as he gets the WWF Championship back. Hart gets to his feet and doesn’t look pleased. Hart gets out of the ring and greets some fans.
Mike’s Thoughts: This turned into a really good match toward the end, but wow, was this a boring slog for the first fifteen minutes or so. An extended section with Undertaker applying an iron claw, followed by an extended section of Bret Hart viciously working on Undertaker’s leg, all while Vince McMahon assured everyone that Undertaker would never submit. He really was a bad commentator. It did pick up at the end, but the finish was simply horrible and telegraphed from a million miles away. It was so apparent from the pre-match brawl with Undertaker and Diesel that this was happening that it felt like a supreme waste of time for this to go a half-hour before we got to it. I guess they wanted people to forget about it, but it just pissed them off. With Diesel going heel, I’m sure they’ll say that’s exactly what you want, but this is that kind of go-away heat you’ve heard about before. After getting annihilated in ratings this past week with Raw getting spanked by Nitro, you want to give people reasons to keep watching and make them feel like the time they spend watching your product is valuable. It wasn’t here in this match. You could tell that even Bret Hart knew this was not a well-thought-out idea.
Royal Rumble Plus
Todd Pettengill is with Interim WWF President Gorilla Monsoon. Pettengill asks about matches signed for In Your House in February. Monsoon says it was a tremendous event tonight. He’s sanctioned the feature match. It’ll be a WWF Championship Match with Bret “Hitman” Hart facing Diesel.
Dok Hendrix is with Shawn Michaels. HBK says he has completed phase one. Back in medieval days, lots of stuff used to run wild. The Kliq will run rampant in the 1990s. The Kliq and the Heartbreak Kid are going to WrestleMania. HBK told ya so and won the Royal Rumble. Hendrix asks about the WWF Championship match at In Your House. What if he’ll face Diesel at WrestleMania again? HBK has had his clock cleaned by him a few times, but the Kliq is now behind him. Diesel has a bad attitude, but he loves him anyway.
We’re back to Todd Pettengill, who is still with Interim WWF President Gorilla Monsoon. Monsoon says HBK is ecstatic about his WrestleMania opportunity, but he doesn’t know who he’ll be facing. HBK is back at 100%. An irate Undertaker storms up to Monsoon and says he can make the match, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before Diesel wears the WWF Championship. Undertaker walks off. Monsoon says to prevent another disqualification like we had tonight, he’ll put the WWF Championship match in a Steel Cage at In Your House.
Dok Hendrix is backstage with Diesel. Diesel tells Hendrix to shut up. Diesel says Gorilla Monsoon does a hell of a job except for lobotomy. Bret Hart lives and breathes because he allows it. As far as what he showed Undertaker, it’s just that he’s number one. In the cage, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to like him, but ya gotta love him because he’s the best thing going today. Hendrix asks about Undertaker, saying he’ll never be WWF Champion again. Diesel says he’ll do whatever he wants. When he got into trouble as a kid, his mother would send him to the basement to turn on the lights. He’s not afraid of the dark. Diesel isn’t afraid of Undertaker. He’s just afraid of the tax man. In 1996, it’s not the World Wrestling Federation. It’s the Diesel Wrestling Federation. It’s still his show. They’re still running on Diesel Power. He’ll play his mind games when he wants.
We go to Todd Pettengill. Jim Cornette is fired up with Vader. Vader is growling and throwing chairs against the lockers. Cornette says you can’t overlook him. From now until the end of time, it’s Vader Time!
Video: Royal Rumble 1996 highlights.
Mike’s Thoughts: Some good follow-up to all the events at the Royal Rumble. Diesel did another off-the-cuff promo to sound different from everyone else. This really is a blueprint for the Attitude Era to come, right down to being the first guy to deliver a middle finger in a really memorable moment at the end of the WWF Championship match. The promo was a little bumbling as he got his words tied up a few times, but it’s definitely different.
My big issue is from a booking perspective, Undertaker had Bret Hart dead to rights in the center of the ring, but Diesel broke up the pin and ruined the match. How does that make Diesel the new No. 1 contender? Just another way they made Gorilla Monsoon look like a total goof as Interim WWF President.
Overall, this was a pretty mediocre show. There are depth issues galore with this roster, leading to a lot of boring moments. There were moments that shone (Shawn Michaels, Vader, the Diesel heel turn), but it wasn’t enough to really save this show. They’re still trying to do their own thing, but they’re going to have to get more aggressive than some Billionaire Ted segments if they’re going to keep pace with the unpredictability of WCW.
Quick Match Results
— Ahmed Johnson def. Jeff Jarrett via DQ
— The Smoking Gunns (Bart Gunn and Billy Gunn) (c’s) def. The Bodydonnas (Skip and Zip) to retain the WWF Tag Team Championship
— Goldust def. Razor Ramon (c) to win the WWF Intercontinental Championship
— Shawn Michaels won the 30-Man Royal Rumble Match
Email – mike@wrestleview.com
X – @MikeTedescoWV
Thanks for reading!