AEW Dynamite Results
April 13, 2022
New Orleans, LA (UNO Lakefront Arena)
Results by: Josh Boutwell of Wrestleview.com
A New Orleans sized Dynamite opens up with that damn Chicago Made Punk hitting the ring!
“The Best In The World” CM Punk vs. Penta Oscuro w/Alex Abrahantes
Punk and Penta have never faced one another, both Penta and Punk are ranked in the Top 5 in AEW. Punk mocks Penta’s “cero miedo” taunt but that just starts a big chant from the crowd for Penta leading to dueling chants. Punk and Penta shove each other and then they start exchanging strikes. They chop the ever loving shit out of each other during this sequence. Punk kicks Penta and then goes to the top and hits a Split Legged Lucha Armdrag for a quick nearfall.
Punk goes for the GTS but Penta rolls Punk up and puts him in an Ankle Lock. Punk rolls through sending Penta crashing into the top turnbuckle. Punk hits a Flying Knee in the corner and then goes for the Shortarm Clothesline but Penta hits a Slingblade. Penta follows up with a second Slingblade for a nearfall. Penta sends Punk to the outside and sets up for a dive but Punk trips him and pulls him out. Punk then hits a Tope Suicida of his own.
Punk starts to climb to the top but Penta nails him with an Enziguri and then climbs up to the top but Punk goes for a Frankensteiner and falls off. He looked like he may have legit injured his knee on the fall. Penta tries to whip Punk into the corner but Punk’s knee gives out. Punk manages to come back with a Frankensteiner off the top followed by a Flying Knee in the corner. He’s severely limping. Punk lifts Penta up for the GTS but Penta elbows him repeatedly and then goes for the Armrbeaker. Punk counters with a Fireman’s Carry into the Anaconda Vice.
Penta manages to get his foot on the bottom rope. Punk and Penta exchange strikes in the apron and Penta kicks Punk’s knee and then goes for the Fear Factor on the apron. Punk escapes and goes for a Piledriver only for Penta to escape. Punk ducks a clothesline attempt and hits a Roundhouse Kick knocking Penta back into the ring. Punk hits a Springboard Flying Forearm, so either Punk just scared himself on that earlier fall or he just did a hell of a job selling.
Punk hits a Flying Knee in the corner and goes for the GTS again but Penta blocks it and goes for the Fear Factor. Punk escapes and attempts a Roundhouse but Penta ducks and hits an Enziguri. Penta goes for the Armbreaker but Punk rolls him over into a nearfall. Penta counters into a nearfall of his own. Punk gets back up and goes for a Neckbreaker but Penta counters into a Superkick. Penta springboards off the ropes but Punk catches him midair with a GTS for the pin!
Winner: Punk via pinfall (GTS)
JAS are shown arriving in a Private Jet but Kingston and PNP show up in a car having attacked 2point0 and leave them laying.
AEW World Tag Team Championships
Jurassic Express (c) vs. reDRagon (Bobby Fish & Kyle O’Reilly)
Fish and Jungle Boy start the match off in the ring and do some nice mat wrestling. Jungle Boy speeds things up with a Rana and a dropkick to Fish’s chagrin. Fish cuts Jungle Boy’s tag attempt off and he and O’Reilly double team him in their corner. Luchasaurs manages to hot tag Jungle Boy and he hits an Arm Drag followed by a Senton for two. Luchasaurus goes for a Lizard Kick but Fish ducks and then Dragonscrew Legwhips his leg in the ropes. O’Reilly tags in and Fish pulls Lucha out to the floor and Dragonscrews his leg sending him into the barricade.
O’Reilly leg kicks Luchasaurus and then puts him in a Heel Hook. Fish hits a Slingshot Somersault Senton as O’Reilly continues to hold him. O’Reilly and Fish utilize quick tags as they isolate Luchasaurs in their corner. Luchasaurus tries to fight his way out of the corner and makes a tag to Jungle Boy. Jungle Boy with a series of slams on reDRagon and then a Rebound Lariat on O’Reilly. He sends both Fish and O’Reilly to the floor and connects with a pair of Tope Suicidas on them on the floor. Jungle Boy goes for another dive but they move out of the way only to eat an Apron Moonsault from Luchasaurus. Jungle Boy then hits a somersault plancha onto Fish!
Jungle Boy goes for his Springboard DDT on O’Reilly in the ring but Fish grabbed his leg allowing O’Reilly to hit him with a Dragonscrew in the ropes.
Luchasaurus is a house afire on reDRagon with kicks and big moves. He hits a Double Clothesline on them and a Double Chokeslam. He hits a Standing Moonsault on O’Reilly but only gets a two count. Luchasaurus goes for a tag but Fish pulls Jungle Boy off the apron allowing O’Reilly to take Lucha’s knee out. reDRagon hits a series of splashes in the corner but Jungle Boy Superkicks O’Reilly. Jurassic Express hits a Sidewalk Slam/Flying Elbow Drop combo on Fish for two.
Jungle Boy goes for a Sliding Lariat but Fish moves and then attempts a Roundhouse Kick but Jungle Boy ducks and goes for a rollup. O’Reilly hits a blind tag and hits a Butterfly DDT and then catapults him into a German Suplex from Fish! O’Reilly puts Jungle Boy in a Cross Armbreaker but Jungle Boy manages to get his foot on the bottom rope.
O’Reilly puts Jungle Boy on the top rope and climbs up with him but Jungle Boy cuts him off. Luchasaurus lifts O’Reilly up on his shoulders but Fish crotches Jungle Boy allowing O’Reilly to lock in the Hanging Guillotine! Fish then hits a Super Falcon Arrow! 1…2…NO Luchasaurus slams O’Reilly on Fish to break up the pin!
O’Reilly and Lucha exchange strikes but Jungle Boy takes O’Reilly out with a Superkick. O’Reilly hits a Roaring Elbow on Lucha only for Jungle Boy to dive off Lucha’s back into a Tornado DDT! Lucha hits a Tail Whip on Fish and then they hit the Thoracic Express for the pin!
Winners & STILL Tag Champs: Jurassic Express via pinfall (Thoracic Express)
Fish and O’Reilly attack Jurassic Express after the match but as they are leaving up the ramp, FTR walks out. They hold up their belts and start shoving reDRagon.
In the back, Blackpool Combat Club confirms that Wheeler Yuta is now an official member of their group. They’ll face the Gunn Club in a trios match on Friday.
In the back, Tony Schiavone interviews Toni Storm and Jamie Hayter and confirms that they will face off in the first round of the Women’s Owen Hart Cup. Hayter says that they both honed their craft in Japan just like Owen Hart did and she will break Storm’s face in the process of winning the tournament. Storm just smirks at her and walks away.
MJF w/Shawn Spears vs. “Captain” Shawn Dean
MJF acts like he can’t unzip his jacket – he zipped his scarf up in it – but then attacks Dean from behind. MJF Wristlock Takeovers Dean into the turnbuckles but a camera crew finds a bunch of security guys beaten up backstage. MJF starts freaking out but finally turns his attention back to Dean and throws him to the floor. He throws Dean into the barricade before tossing hi back in the ring. A huge guy wearing a mask appears behind a celebrating MJF and then takes his mask off revealing Wardlow! Wardlow chases MJF up the ramp but Spears hits him from behind with a chair.
Wardlow goes to Powerbomb Spears when a ton of security guys come out and get destroyed one-by-one. Finally about 20 guys all hold Wardlow down at once. The referee almost counts MJF out but MJF screams at him that he’ll triple his pay if he doesn’t count him out. The referee refuses and counts MJF out.
Winner: Dean via countout
MJF goes after the referee after the match but Spears holds him back. Wardlow is shown throwing security guards around backstage. Wardlow screams at the camera that he will not stop until MJF releases him from his contract.
Darby Allin challenges Andrade to a Coffin Match.
JAS (Chris Jericho, Jake Hager & Daniel Garcia) vs. Eddie Kingston & Proud-n-Powerful
Jericho and Santana start off and Jericho taunts him until Santana punches him in the face. Santana whips Jericho into the corner and charges into a boot only to come back with a Mafia Kick. Jericho and Santana exchange chops until Santana takes Jericho down and lands a series of punches. Ortiz and Kingston attack Garcia and Hager on the floor and they all start brawling. Hager throws Ortiz into the barricade and then goes after Kingston. Santana lays Jericho out with a Flying Back Elbow. Ortiz tags in and goes to work on Jericho until Hager attacks him from behind.
Jericho and Hager hit a Double Press Slam on Ortiz and Hager chokes him. Ortiz tries to fight back but Hager takes him down with a Forearm Smash. Hager goes for a Spinebuster but Ortiz counters into a Sunset Flip only for Hager to get right back up and clothesline him. Hager hits a Spinebuster and tags Garcia. Garcia and Jericho exchange quick tags as the heels work over Ortiz in their corner.
Ortiz hits a Lariat on Jericho out of the heel corner and reaches for the hot tag but Garcia stops him. Ortiz escapes and tags Kingston, who goes nuts on all the JAS guys. Kingston hits a Butterfly Suplex on Garcia and tags Santana, who hits the Three Amigos on Garcia. Santana hits a Frog Splash for two. Kingston and Santana double team Garcia in their corner. Ortiz hits a Guillotine Leg Drop. Kingston hits a Tope Suicida onto Hager on the floor and Ortiz Powerbombs Garcia onto Jericho. Santana hits a Plancha onto Hager on the floor as 2point0 run out only to eat a Tope Suicida from Ortiz!
Kingston tags in and bitch slaps the piss out of Garcia before hitting a T-Bone Suplex! Kingston goes for the Backfist from the Future but Jericho hits him from behind with the bat allowing Garcia to pin Kingston.
Winner: JAS via pinfall
JAS attack Kingston and PNP after the match. Jericho hits a Judas Effect on Ortiz and hits Santana with the bat.
In the back, Alex Marvez interviews MJF. Marvez laughs at MJF, which causes him to freak out. He says that he is the pinnacle of pro wrestling and people have forgotten that. Smart Mark Sterling says that MJF has the right to book or not book Wardlow against anyone he wishes. MJF says that if Wardlow wants to work, he’ll put him to work. He hands an envelope of money to Jose and Butcher walks into the scene.
Marina Shafir vs. Skye Blue
Shafir takes Blue down with some arm drags and then lifts her up for a slam only for Blue to escape. She jumps on Shafir but Shafir simply slams her. Shafir is taunting Jade’s “baddies” in the front row. Blue tries to fight back but Shafir Pump Handle Slams her and stares at the baddies. Blue grabs Shafir from behind and then goes for a Superkick but Shafir palm strikes her and rolls her up and puts her in a Triangle for the submission.
Winner: Shafir via submission (Triangle Choke)
In the back, Tony Nese and Mark Sterling approach HOOK backstage and Nese talks trash to him. HOOK gets up and they back down. Danhausen tries to curse him again and HOOK throws a fitness ball at him.
Swerve Strickland & “Limitless” Keith Lee vs. Team Taz (Powerhouse Hobbs & Ricky Starks)
Hobbs tosses Strickland around and tags Starks in. Starks and Hobbs are wearing matching tights. Starks pulls out Old School walking the ropes before hitting a Diving Axe Handle. Starks tries to throw Swerve into the ropes but he flips through the ropes and then hits a Spinning Headscissors and a dropkick. Lee tags in and Swerve holds Starks’ arms down so that Lee can chop the piss out of him. Lee catches a charging Hobbs and throws him to the floor before throwing Starks out with him. Swerve dives off Lee’s chest with a Moonsault onto Starks and Hobbs on the floor!
Lee leapfrogs a charging Hobbs causing him to Spear Starks and then Lee tosses Starks at Hobbs! Swerve tags in and walks into a series of strikes from Lee and Swerve capped off with a Roaring Elbow/Enziguri combo for two. Swerve goes for a Half Nelson Suplex but Starks counters into an Armdrag. Swerve goes for a rolling move but Starks Spears him in midair.
Starks knocks Lee off the apron and hits an American Destroyer! 1…2…NO Swerve kicks out! Starks lifts Swerve up to the top rope but Swerve cuts him off and then tosses Starks off the top into a European Uppercut in midair from Lee! 1…2…NO Hobbs breaks it up! Hobbs and Lee get into each other’s faces and the fans erupt but the referee separates them. Starks Enziguris Lee and tags in Hobbs as Taz is walking out.
Lee knocks Hobbs off the top rope and then lifts Starks up as Swerve climbs to the top only Starks to Rana Lee. On the outside, Hobbs tries to throw Swerve into the post but Swerve counters it. Starks went for a Swinging DDT but Lee blocked it only for Starks to hit a Diving Spear! Swerve breaks up a pin attempt with a 450 Splash! Hobbs Splashes Swerve in the corner. Taz trips Lee allowing Hobbs to hit a Spinebuster for the pin!
Winners: Team Taz via pinfall (Spinebuster)
In the back Nyla Rose taunts Thunder Rosa with a cake but she knocks the cake into Rose’s face. Rose slams Rosa into some equipment cases.
A video package highlights the Texas Death Match between Cole and Hangman for Rampage.
ROH Television Championship
“Samoan Submission Machine” Samoa Joe vs. Minoru Suzuki (c)
Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt are shown sitting ringside. This is the first time Joe and Suzuki have ever faced each other and this is also Joe’s first shot at any ROH championship since 2015. Joe is a former ROH World Champion and ROH Pure Champion. Joe and Suzuki get in each other’s faces and immediately start chopping the piss out of each other. Their entire chests are red within seconds.
Joe finally has enough of it and starts elbowing Suzuki. Suzuki answers back and they exchange forearms now. Joe’s chest has bruises appearing already. Joe runs over Suzuki with a Shoulder Block after daring Suzuki to come at him. Suzuki catches Joe with a Hanging Armbar in the ropes out of nowhere.
Suzuki whips Joe into the corner and hits a Yakuza Kick followed by a Running Knee for two. Suzuki hits a series of elbows and goes for the Gotch Piledriver but stops and dares Joe to hit him again. Joe answers and they exchange slaps and chops again. Joe misses one and Suzuki puts him in the Rear Naked Choke only for Joe to counter with a Sidewalk Slam.
Suzuki dropkicks Joe and goes for the Sleeper again and transitions into the Gotch Piledriver, but Joe blocks it and Suzuki hits a series of knees. He puts Joe in the Sleeper again but Joe backs him into the corner. Joe lifts him up to the top and hits an Enziguri and goes for the Muscle Buster, but Suzuki catches him in the Hanging Armbar. Joe breaks it up with elbows and the Muscle Buster for the pin!
Winner & NEW ROH TV Champ: Joe via pinfall (Muscle Buster)
Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt come to the ring with a “present” for Joe but it’s just Lethal flipping him the bird. The lights go out and when they come back on a gigantic dude is in the ring. It’s former NBA player Satnam Singh – who Dutt has been training – and he attacks Joe. He throws Joe into the ring steps and puts him in a Vice Grip. Lethal hits the Lethal Injection on Joe.