Welcome once again to my classroom, ladies and gentlemen! Make sure your pencils are sharpened, spit out the chewing gum (holding out the waste basket), pay close attention, as I catch the class up with the current events that happened in our wrestling world. After I take a sip of coffee, I will present to you, my students, two new rules that the fan and/or wrestler should follow. There will be more ?demerits?, more ?detentions?, and someone has been added to the ?eternal detention? list. Also, my opinions on the best matches of the week, worst match, gold stars, and more! Finally, the best part of it all, the commentator report card!! Once again, pay close attention, new rules are in order!
6) Surprises, at times, CAN be a good thing.
When I became a young and bright upcoming teacher, my first placement was in an elementary school in Erie, teaching fourth grade mathematics. I had this one student, which shall be nameless, who had big time problems with multiplication. Well, after teaching this student during my lunch breaks, as well as the student’s determination to succeed, the students passed the tests, homework was done right, and ended up with a 88% during the grading period that I taught in that school. Thing was, this student was failing with below 50% prior to my teachings. Since then, as a student teacher, a substitute, a tutor, or a permanent substitute teacher, not ONE of my math students scored lower than a B. Take THAT, School Boards of Pennsylvania!!
The reason for this first paragraph, I was surprised with this student. It made me happy as I saw the gold stars the student accumulated. It was a ?pleasant surprise?. I have not talked to this student since 2004, and I hope all is well. Anyways, I am working on my report card for ECW on February 10, 2009. I was getting interested with the product, as I did have them penciled as best show last week. Heck, it is a great blend of young wrestlers (Jack Swagger, Morrison, Miz) and old-school (Finlay in general). After the show, I was surprised with two debuts with the superstars. One was a nice, quick introduction, while the other made me actually scream ?Wow? quite a few times.
I want to mention T.J. Wilson first, or in ECW known as ?Tyson Kidd?. I saw his work on FCW, Canada, wherever. I was very impressed and wondered why he is not on the Sci Fi network showing off the skills in ECW. I was concerned if he ever was going to get a shot. To my surprise, he appears. No promos, no nothing. I was surprised; he made it to the roster! He talked well with Teddy Long and quipped at Jamie Noble. I like the small segment. Then he performs well against a jobber and showed off some of his wide array or wrestling skills in a mere couple minutes. It is a nice way to get someone like him over.
Now, let me talk about Christian. What another nice, satisfying surprise!! A great job by WWE for a nice change of pace, throwing a curveball at all the fans out there who either 1) thought he was going on Smackdown and 2) thought contract talks were at an impasse. It seemed to me that Christian did not miss a beat in a WWE ring, and had a solid, but not Honor Roll worthy match, against Jack Swagger. Also, kudos to Christian for accepting this role as the ‘soon-to-be? top guy in ECW. I am sure he will be drafted to another brand come April, but I think the wrestling fans out there should enjoy this. It helps Christian get back to working a WWE schedule, which obviously is more grueling than a TNA schedule. I am just glad to see him where he belongs, in front of sold-out 17,000 seat venues and in a WWE ring. Best of luck to him, and hope you win the ECW title shortly (though I don?t mind seeing Christian/Swagger in Wrestlemania).
7) If you are a wrestler, no matter the gender, NEVER insult your fans (especially the under 18 crowd).
This means you, Ashley Massaro!! I am not here to completely bash this former Survivor contestant, but what she did on her MySpace page is inappropriate, especially coming from a teacher who is younger than she is. I heard from the wires here that she recently posted something on her MySpace page, spreading rumors (that I guess she does well) about a possible WWE return. Off the record, I hope she NEVER, EEEEVER sets foot in a WWE ring??again! I guess a 13-year-old girl from Australia typed something on her page, and Ashley flips out, just like an immature 29-year-old that quickly lost her 15 minutes of fame would typically do. According to a show I listened to, Ashley responds to a nasty comment posted by the girl by calling her names that I can?t mention on my column, as I too am trying to keep my column PG rated at times. Why is it that everytime someone says negative comments to her, rather on wrestling radio shows or on MySpace, she has to go postal. Does she really have that many issues about her life? Look, Ashley, I am not trying to start anything, but if you feel that way about comments posted by a teenager, get help. Go to a therapist in the Texas area, and get help. You need it and your family needs it. Just those signs of disrespect you show after you are criticized make you a prime candidate on my ?detention list?. Congratulations, you earned this one. And hey, look on the bright side, at least a wrestling columnist mentioned you on a column. What Ms. Massaro did was a sign of actual online bullying (which can lead to serious charges if an ADULT bullies a MINOR, according to the Pittsburgh Police Department), and can not be tolerated in my wrestling classroom.
Demerits and Detentions
I am going to issue demerits to the following people in the wrestling world this week:
To WWE creative for once again making Randy Orton, you top Raw heel, needing back-up against??.Shane McMahon. Can?t I just use a yardstick and smack these writers already.
To Mrs. HBK for giving JBL a black eye??.no wait, actually it happened to JBL. A gold star goes to you for that one.
Todd Grisham’s commentary on 2/10?.Everyone has a bad day, but his was a little too far this week.
The Pittsburgh Penguins for firing their head coach. I get it, but then again, I don?t get it.
On Temporary Detention – Vince Russo and Dutch Mantel, Main Event Mafia, Matt Hardy, Manu (just because I can, it’s my classroom), Ashley Massaro, and WWE Creative for Randy Orton’s I.E.D.
Eternal Detention List
The three wrestling fans that attacked Jericho in Canada. They are the true meaning of the word idiots.
Mr. V’s Honor Roll for the week of February 9 – February 13, 2009
Again my students, this Honor Roll goes to the best matches you can get through My Network TV, USA Network, Spike TV, and Sci Fi. No PPV matches will be on this list, as I think that is just a special treat for the wrestling fans out there and do not count in my grade book.
There were solid, but not great matches last week on TV, so my honor roll was a very tough call, but here it goes?.
DISTINGUISHED HONORS – Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, and John Cena vs. Mike Knox, Kane, and Chris Jericho on Monday Night Raw, 2/9.
I liked this match the most out them all, but it was a real close call. I enjoyed this match because it featured all six combatants in the Elimination Chamber (of course, until Edge stole Kofi’s spot and won the World Heavyweight Championship), the execution of the wrestling moves were good, but not great, and how the match was finished. I really enjoyed Jericho’s codebreaker to a flying Kofi Kingston. This match did not bury anyone, in my opinion. I still do not get how Mike Knox is getting pushed to this top tier matches, with Knox being a part of the team that came out winning this one, I guess it helps him get over. John Cena took a TON of bumps for a main event guy, and he put on a solid show. Everyone just looked good in this match, I thought. No weak points in my gradebook (other than Cole’s commentary) gave them top honors this past week on TV.
HIGH HONORS – Miz and Morrison vs. Primo and Carlito on Friday Night Smackdown, 2/13.
These superstars put on a very good performance last week. I am still wondering why Morrison is underrated. I know he has the Tag Belt, but he has the potential to do so much more if WWE gives him a change. Can you picture a Morrison face turn and to see him compete against Shelton Benjamin for a singles? title? Who would not want to see that match?? Primo is showing improvement in the ring; again give him credit for that. I though Primo was only going to last a few weeks when he debuted. There was good interaction with the four, the cheating methods by the Miz and Morrison were good, and there was a nice blend of simple skills, along with some with an additional degree of difficulty. Carlito was impressive, and took some serious bumps in this match as well. And this match was just for a date with a couple divas. Again, everyone came out strong after this match was over. Overall, a nice job with only a couple mistakes by these young wrestlers. Had it not been for these mistakes, these four would have made a debut in the Distinguished Honors category.
HONOR ROLL – Motor City Machine Guns vs. Lethal Consequences on TNA Impact, 2/11.
Wow, welcome to the Honor Roll, TNA!! After six weeks of grades and three weeks into my column, you finally ?crossed the line? and had an honor-roll worthy match! I was just impressed with the way Shelley and Sabin work as a tag team, as well as Jay Lethal. Great chemistry, good maneuvers, and it helped Lethal and Creed with their quest for TNA Tag Team gold. The reason why it was not higher? It was only four minutes, which was too quick, especially when the usual TNA promos last twelve minutes. Also, I am still not sold on Consequences Creed. He just did not fit right with this match. Those errors aside, congratulations TNA! You finally ?made the grade? with this one.
Honorable Mention goes to: Sting’s Promo on 2/11, Christian vs. Swagger on 2/10, Regal vs. Punk on 2/9, Orton vs. Undertaker on 2/9, HHH/Taker/Show/Kozlov 4-way match on 2/13, Christian’s debut promo on 2/10, and HBK finally being free from JBL.
WORST MATCH OF THE WEEK – Michelle McCool vs. Maria on Friday Night Smackdown, 2/13.
This match had nothing to do with McCool (a former Florida school teacher). This was all Maria. McCool has been very good, and she had a good match against Eve from the previous week. McCool’s skills have vastly improved in the ring, and it shows. Maria was downright terrible. I just did not like how they booked Maria to win this match. Her promo interview segment was terrible. Her ring work was atrocious and an embarrassment to the Blue Brand.
Dishonorable Mention goes to: Priceless vs. Cryme Tyme on 2/9, Shane McMahon as a threat to Orton storyline, HBK vs. Mark Henry on 2/9, TNA Knockout Battle Royal on 2/12, and anything involving the kayfabe romance between Vickie and Edge.
WEEKLY TV WARS
For the week of February 9, 2009:
Remember, this segment is student-friendly. Let me know what your best show is be e-mailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org. No fans sent me a vote this week, so no points will be awarded for ?Show of the Week?. A shame too, because last week, Friday Night Smackdown’s leading is shrinking. So without further adieu, Here are my picks this week:
Best Show: ECW (2 points)
Runner-up: Friday Night Smackdown (1 point)
Another close call this past week, as all three WWE programs had solid shows. TNA Impact was better than normal, but they are still show a goose egg. ECW mainly wins this past week because of the surprise factor. We kind of knew what was going to happen on TV with Raw and Smackdown, but ECW was different. They brought in not one, but TWO new superstars in Christian and Tyson Kidd. We all know Christian’s potential, but I think ECW got a nice addition in Kidd as well. The matches scored well (even the Dreamer/Miz match earned an average grade) and the segments were effective. ECW may not have had a match in my Honor Roll this week, but the show was consistent. As mentioned earlier, Smackdown and Raw were neck and neck here and the segments were scored the same grade, but Smackdown got the edge with some nice, solid performances by their mid-card guys and the main event talent.
Remember, you the students can vote on my TV Wars segment by e-mailing me your top show at email@example.com.
1)Friday Night Smackdown??.9 Points
3)Monday Night Raw????…5 Points
4)TNA Impact???????…0 Points
COMMENTATOR REPORT CARD
Monday Night Raw:
Michael Cole: F (Overall Grade: D)
Jerry Lawler: B- (Overall Grade: D+)
Analysis: Cole was downright terrible this week. He did not call wrestling moves, and for once week, Cole became Mike Adamle. I said it, Mike Adamle. Cole’s performance this week made Tony Schivone’s work actually enjoyable. Mr. Cole, you are a play-by-play announcer, you have been one for years. During the main event, Cole was not heard of too many times. He gave up play-by-play, and that edition of Monday Night Raw would have been better without him.
As for Lawler, a much improved performance. I think it is because there were no signs of Kelly Kelly. Let me look at my notes from Raw for a second?..sorry, she did wrestle on February 9, 2009. Even teachers make mistakes too, sorry. Lawler offset those antics by entertaining the viewer with some humor, as well as calling wrestling moves more than Cole did on this edition of Raw. So, I think for this week at least, fans should not request for Lawler’s release. But we should applaud his work this week, because I am certain he won?t be getting many ?Bs? in my book.
Todd Grisham: D (Overall Grade: B-)
Matt Striker: B (Overall Grade: A)
Analysis: Todd was not on this week. I don?t know why, but I can recall one thing that stood out on him commentary on the 2/10 edition of ECW. Right before the commercial break for the main event, I am almost certain he said ?we will be right back with Christian and Matt Striker right after this?. Matt Striker corrected him before the break, which was a good save on his part. Grisham had emotion for the early part of 2009, but something was missing. He did not show much emotion when Christian debuted, and he was messing up his lines that probably someone in WWE feeds to him in the headset. I know Todd has potential to improve, so don?t jump the ship on him quite yet.
Matt Striker was good, but not at his usual greatness. I liked the fact that he was speechless during Christian’s debut. I liked that Striker mentioned that Tyson Kidd was the last graduate of the Hart Dungeon. It is a nice thing to include in a squash match. I enjoyed his typical sense of humor; especially Swagger committed a sin by losing control of his ECW title belt. But something was missing with him this week. Then again, students have one blunder every now and then. Expect Striker to rebound very soon. With the draft coming up in two months, I really hope Striker gets on a two hour show.
Friday Night Smackdown
Jim Ross: A+ (Overall Grade: A)
Tazz: B+ (Overall Grade: B-)
Analysis: Smackdown has something that Raw does not have. Smackdown has the best of the best on play-by-play. I hope Jim Ross is making double than Cole is, because Good Ol? JR was absolutely perfect this week. He called matches (something Cole and Grisham did not do on their respective shows), enough said. He also got bonus points for his dependable sense of humor. The best line was that he is getting his wife some JR’s BBQ Sauce for Valentine’s Day. I laughed at that one. It was almost as good as calling Khali and Finlay ?Corned Beef and Curry?. Great stuff this week by Mr. Play-by-Play.
Tazz performed absolutely well this past Friday. He usually hesitates when he is doing color, but I did not detect any of that this time around. He spoke when he was supposed to, and shown vast improvement this month. I don?t expect this all the time, but for now I am enjoying the chemistry recently with JR and Tazz. For the first time this year, ECW did NOT have the best announce team. It was this one, by a JR waist line margin.
Mike Tenay: C (Overall Grade: C-)
Don West: D (Overall Grade: F)
Analysis: Tenay did an average job Thursday. He did not show too much emotion, and that is something a play-by-play needs to accomplish week after week. The downfall with him would be the transitions between him and Don West (I still think it is Mr. West’s fault on that). They don?t changeover well with each other, and after being together for seven years, it should get better, not worse. The good thing on Thursday was that Tenay showed good signs by calling moves and showing some sense in the matches and segments. He did a nice job with that. But when it is obvious that you and the moron beside you read from a script, but please Mike improvise a bit. You did that in WCW, why not pull some tricks out of the hat now? Don West is a lost cause, but I still believe in you, Mike (haha).
Don West was horrendous, but he gets a D and not an F because I did not have to mute the TV when he talked this time. Even though he got a higher grade, he still still the worst commentator of 2009, bank on it. On a side not, I saw signs at the Impact Zone that said ?We want Black Snow?. I am cool with Tenay doing play-by-play; I want to see some signs in the Impact Zone with Chet Lemon baseball cards. Bad commentary with Chet Lemon is better than good commentary with Don West. Also, I was shaking my head in disgust when I saw the sign ?I flew 6000 miles to see TNA?. I want signs that state ?I want Don West TERMINATED?.
Gold stars to go a few people this week, I hope I include you all. If you want a gold star, plead your case to firstname.lastname@example.org and I will see if you merit a Gold Star from my plentiful supply of them (only 2.99 at your local Target or Wal-Mart).
Gold Stars this week go to:
All of my fans out there who enjoy this column every week, I thank all of you for that.
David Stephens, for mentioning my first column as a Must Read Column on his debut column, ?That’s A Wrap?. If you are a fan of his ECW recaps, you must read his column, it is good stuff.
VKingoftheWorldV for his 4 win, 1 loss prediction on Sunday’s ?Faculty Challenge?. I don?t know his real name, but he did get the HHH match called correctly, the only one to do that. If you don?t believe me, here it is, word for word (thanks to King for allowing me to post this).
I picked HHH because being a huge Edge fan that would make it 2 years in a row he was champ going into Wrestlemania and some how I don’t see how Triple H would “allow” that to happen with him not being champ going in.
Well said King, well said.
To the WrestleView faculty, for getting at least 3 of the 5 matches correct on the No Way Out PPV.
To Joe Baiamonte, for having the best overall record still with a record of 10 wins, 2 losses.
To Edge and HHH, they are your new champions heading to Wrestlemania.
To the Boston Red Sox because last summer they got the most underrated player in the game, Jason Bay.
To all the readers out there who survived my column for the third week in a row.
Thank you, students, for reading my latest batch of opinions and rants. I want to thank the management of WrestleView.com for posting the columns, and to my fans who read them from all around the world. It is truly an honor that you read my column. Once again, if you like the columns, hate it, have a question, or just want to talk wrestling, e-mail me at email@example.com. I do send a reply to my e-mails, so fire away.
Well, the school bell rang, time for me to start up some Fantasy Baseball, interested columnists and viewers? Enjoy your week, students. Until the next column comes out, you are??Dismissed!!