The Ultimate Exit Poll
There are many days, weeks, and months in our lives where we see the true character and personality of those who take part in our everyday life emerge. The events that cause these to come out make the personality and character that much more powerful, consuming alcohol or partaking in anything else that clouds judgment lessens the impact of the revelation.
These events that cause the true character to rise to the surface can vary in relevancy to your own life. An exciting sporting event may mean everything to you but little to the witness you invite. An inspiring walk down the hall of an art gallery may not grab onto your imagination as much as it clutches onto another’s soul.
Such is the case with me and Election Day.
“I thought this was a professional wrestling column, Doug!” I hear you screaming from behind your monitor. I’m just as perturbed as you are that I’m even bringing up politics on a professional wrestling website, but there is a connection with all of us. Just bare with me.
Over the past two weeks, we have been subjected to the ‘Stand Up For WWE’ campaign. While many political strategists have suggested that this be nothing more than a defense mechanism for Linda McMahon’s U.S. Senate battle, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon has labeled this as nothing more than a business defending itself from the slanderous jabs fired from political strategists found on various cable news networks and newspapers.
What people consider the logic behind this movement to vitalize the professional wrestling fan base is irrelevant; it will all be ending in two days. Whether you are ‘standing up’ for WWE or Linda McMahon does not matter, all of the attacks and stereotypes you have been hearing from all angles will cease on November 3rd.
Who are we ‘standing up’ against in the first place? Political pundits? Late night comedians? Newspaper columnists? That all sounds well and good to someone like me who is addicted to political late-night television and reads newspapers on a daily basis, but how many pre-teenage children do you know follow such avenues?
Looking into the crowd of last week’s Raw from Green Bay, Wisconsin, there were many families. I don’t think any of them would know who Paul Begala or Bill Maher is. I would think the only reason they would ever touch a newspaper was to find the comics section.
To try and link their viewing and entertainment habits to those of the parents and their viewing and entertaining habits is even more absurd. Just because a child likes professional wrestling does not mean that their parents do as well. While I’m sure there are many families that will refute that claim, there are still some parents of professional wrestling youth that have never watched an episode of it on television and only give it the light of the day when they take their offspring to a live show.
The point is this: More than 5 times as many people watch professional wrestling than the political pundits and late-night comedians that WWE is trying to defend itself against. A demographic of a more mature age and higher education watches these talking heads instead of professional wrestling. The ‘Stand Up for WWE’ is pointless in that it does not describe why people should ‘stand up’ specifically nor does it get the attention of those who have been subjected to the attacks.
Pen your angry email to me some other time (email@example.com); I fall in both categories just as you do. I record over 3 hours of political punditry shows Monday through Friday as well as watch ‘Raw’, ‘Smackdown’, ‘Impact’ (if my arm is twisted hard enough), and the occasional pay-per-view. Having Keith Olbermann and Bill O’Reilly duel over moral and logical supremacy is just as entertaining to me as John Cena and Wade Barrett feuding over control of Cena’s future.
Last weekend was WWE’s ‘Fan Appreciation Day’. Sounds great, right? Putting on a super-show for the fans, which included a one-time only appearance by Triple H sounds like a great way to strengthen your fan base and put out the word of your product. Sounds great if you lived in Hartford, Connecticut… in the middle of Linda McMahon’s senatorial bidding.
I thought this ‘Stand Up for WWE’ thing was a nationwide concept? Wasn’t Vince McMahon trying to get a rabid fan base shout from the rafters that they were such, not just nationwide, but globally? When will this ‘Fan Appreciation Day’ be made accessible to EVERYONE and not just those that have been subjected to the political aspirations of not just Linda McMahon, but everyone involved?
Linda McMahon’s ambitions to become a U.S. Senator have brought out a side of people within the professional wrestling industry and media that I never thought I would see. The performers that I once thought were there to inspire me now feebly attempt to influence me.
Did you know Kurt Angle had a twitter account? Did you know that he also had a small business in his home state of Pennsylvania selling organic food? According to his twitter account, he hasn’t made any money since opening his business and believes that voting for Linda and all Republicans will keep the ‘liberals’ from taxing small businesses like his.
That’s right. Kurt Angle is trying to get people in Connecticut to vote for Linda McMahon so that he can make money in Pennsylvania. Is Angle really that destitute? Has he been wrestling for pennies? Is he going to be able to pay the electric bill next month? Oh, the agony!
Tomorrow is an important day for every adult in America. The ability to vote should not be shrugged at with apathy. If you truly believe that your opinion does not matter enough to vote, then you have no right to complain about your way of living.
In my district for U.S. House of Representatives, I must choose between the insane and oxymoronic. Incumbent Patrick McHenry (R) proposed this year to put Ronald Reagan on the $50 bill, drawing protests from other Republicans.
His challenger may have a ‘D’ in front of him on the ballot but is nowhere near the values I agree with. Jeff Gregory (D) favors repealing the Democratic-authored health care overhaul and rounding up the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants in the U.S.
While I may find this decision about as inviting as choosing between a vice clamped onto my third leg or Abyss’ nail-infested 2×4 ‘Janice’ inserted into my rectum, I must decide. I may not be satisfied with my decision, but I will walk away from the voting booth knowing that it is finally over.
November 3rd will be a very interesting day, indeed. Sure Election Day is very important, but the day after is more so for the landscape of professional wrestling. Will we be continually asked to stand up or can we finally sit back down?
Until next time, mouth-breathers!
Annoy me with your assumptions and affronts… adore me with your adulations and acknowledgements: firstname.lastname@example.org.
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