?Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event?? The WWE video leads us into the show.
The Superstars video plays and we?re brought into the arena with a huge fireworks display. Michael Cole and Jerry ?The King? Lawler welcome us to the show and we?re set for diva action.
Jillian makes her way to the ring and says she’s excited about her match. She said she was nervous on the way over but then she turned on the radio and a Miley Cyrus song came on. Jillian then badly sings ?There’s a Party in the USA? and Kelly Kelly’s music hits.
Jillian vs. Kelly Kelly
The bell rings and they lock up. Jillian knees her and wrenches the arm. Kelly gets to the top rope, back flips out, and hits an arm drag. Kelly hits a hurricanrana and gets the cover for a two count. Kelly punches wildly. Jillian blocks a kick, back flips her, and hits a clothesline. Jillian covers for a two count. Jillian pulls on the hair for a few seconds before nearly getting disqualified. Jillian throws her by the hair and covers for a two count. Jillian pulls back on her arms in a submission and knees her in the back for a two count. Jillian bangs Kelly’s head off the mat and locks the submission back on. Kelly fights up and flips Jillian off.
Kelly kicks Jillian in the midsection, ducks a clothesline, and hits a pair of her own. Kelly has a whip reversed on her but she counters a sidewalk slam into a head-scissor takeover. Kelly charges Jillian and attempts a victory roll but Jillian sits on her shoulders for a close two count. Jillian kicks at Kelly and punches her. Jillian whips her hard into the corner and attempts a handspring back elbow but Kelly kicks her. Kelly hits the Kelly Kick for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Kelly Kelly
Match Rating: * ?
Our Main Event will be Kane taking on Chris Jericho. That should be a good one.
Byron Saxton thanks Fozzy for the use of ?Martyr No More,? an official theme song of the Royal Rumble. It’s time for ECW’s contribution to the show.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Vance Archer
Before the match starts, footage from a match between the two that ended in a disqualification is shown. I was at that event. That match stunk.
The match begins and they lock up. They wrangle all around the ring before separating. They lock up and no one gets the advantage again. They go for a clean break but Archer punches him. They exchange punches with Benjamin coming out on top. Benjamin sends him to the ropes and hits a back elbow. Benjamin sends him to the ropes and they mess something up. What’s with that tramp stamp? It’s gross.
Archer punches but Benjamin comes back. Archer blocks a whip and kicks him in the midsection. Archer walks into a double leg and Benjamin punches wildly. Benjamin approaches him in the corner and gets pulled face first into the turnbuckle. Archer hits a clothesline and then goes for his cradle reverse DDT but Benjamin counters into an inside cradle for a two count. Archer quickly kicks him and throws him over the top rope but Benjamin ‘skins the cat? and pulls him over the top rope. We?ll take a break here.
We come back from the break to see Benjamin locked in a neck vice submission. Archer quickly releases it and Benjamin comes back with some strikes. Archer reverses a whip to the corner but Benjamin slingshots over. Archer quickly takes him down with a big boot and covers for a two count. Archer locks on a grounded cobra clutch (maggots) and he’s looking for a submission victory. Benjamin begins fighting up but Archer takes him down and punches. Archer kicks him in the head and chokes him on the rope. Archer goes into the ropes and jumps on Benjamin on the rope. Archer punches him in the back of the head a few times before covering for a one count. Archer locks the neck vice back on. Archer turns it to a chin lock and grapevines the body. Benjamin eventually fights up and elbows but Archer clubs him down. Archer goes for a body slam but Benjamin elbows out.
Benjamin blocks a big boot and hits a dragon screw. Benjamin gets up and punches away at Archer. Archer comes back with strikes before sending Benjamin to the corner. Benjamin leap frogs to the top and comes off with a forearm smash. Benjamin hits some forearm smashes before having a whip reversed on him. Archer lowers his head and eats a kick. Archer blocks a kick but Benjamin counters into a Dragon Kick for a near fall. Benjamin goes for a submission but Archer kicks him off. Benjamin hits a German Suplex with a bridge for a near fall. Benjamin sends Archer to the ropes but Archer holds on to the ropes and Benjamin misses a dropkick.
Archer whips Benjamin hard to the corner. Archer puts him on the top rope and clubs him, putting him in the tree of woe. Archer chokes him with his boot. Archer backs up and runs into Benjamin’s boot. Benjamin hits the Oklahoma Roll and mercifully this match is over.
Winner by Pinfall: Shelton Benjamin
Match Rating: * ?
Vance Archer gives him an ?icy stare? as he goes to the back. That was so boring.
Kane vs. Chris Jericho is still to come tonight.
Did you know that Kane and Shawn Michaels have been in more Royal Rumble’s (11) than any other WWE Superstars?
A highlight package is shown of The Miz, who has been on a roll lately.
Todd Grisham and Matt Striker go over the Royal Rumble card.
Chris Jericho’s music hits and the self-proclaimed face of Smackdown makes his way to the ring. He?ll face off against Kane next.
Chris Jericho vs. Kane
My favorite referee Charles Robinson has this one. The match begins and Jericho is standing on the apron. Jericho slowly makes his way into the ring and looks intimidated. Kane approaches him and Jericho backs out of the ring. Jericho teases getting back in before getting off the apron. Jericho finally gets back in and they lock up. Kane immediately pushes him down and Jericho is back outside the ring again. Jericho gets back in the ring, ducks a lock up, and punches Kane. Kane smiles and punches at Jericho. Kane kicks Jericho in the corner before hitting a back elbow. Jericho uses the referee for cover before poking Kane in the eye.
Jericho kicks and punches before going into the ropes and eating an uppercut. Kane hits a snapmare, goes into the ropes, and hits a low dropkick to the face for a two count. Kane picks Jericho up and wrenches the arm. Kane punches Jericho in the corner and takes him down with an arm bar. Jericho rolls out and Kane locks on an overhead wrist lock. Jericho gets to the ropes to break the hold. Kane walks into a kick to the midsection and Jericho hits a nice forearm shiver. Jericho then takes him down with a dropkick. Jericho hits some crossfaces and kicks him in the ribs. Jericho taunts the crowd Hogan-style before having a punch blocked. Kane punches and sends him to the ropes for a back elbow. Kane charges but goes over the top rope when Jericho pulls it down. Kane gets on the apron but Jericho hits a springboard dropkick. We?ll take a break here. The action is good so far.
We come back from the break to see Jericho kick Kane in the head. Jericho knees Kane in the face and goes for the ten punches but Kane pushes him off. Jericho quickly gets back on the attack with some punches. Jericho talks trash before attempting to smash Kane’s face on the turnbuckle but Kane blocks it. Kane sends Jericho to the opposite corner and runs into a kick. Jericho jumps off the second rope but Kane catches him and slams him in the corner. Kane charges but Jericho moves and Kane hits the ring post shoulder first. That looked good.
Jericho chokes Kane on the second rope a few times before taunting the crowd. Jericho kicks Kane in the midsection and locks on an arm trap chin lock. Kane quickly fights up and pulls Jericho off. Kane hits an uppercut but Jericho blocks a second and hits an enzuigiri for a near fall. Jericho argues with Robinson before punching Kane in the head a few times. Jericho taunts the crowd wildly before locking on a sleeper hold. Kane tries to fight up but Jericho jumps on his back and brings him back down. Kane struggles to get up and Jericho is on his back. Kane simply backs him to the corner and get the hold released. Kane runs into a back elbow. Jericho charges out of the corner and gets a sidewalk slam.
Both men are down now. Kane is the first up and he hits a pair of uppercuts before sending him to the corner and hitting a clothesline. Kane hits a sidewalk slam for a near fall. Kane goes to the top rope and jumps off but Jericho hits a dropkick for a near fall! Jericho hits a running face buster before attempting a Lionsault but Kane moves. Jericho lands on his feet and goes into the ropes, eating a big boot for a near fall. Kane goes for a powerslam but Jericho slides off and hits a chop block. Jericho attempts the Walls of Jericho but Kane flings him off. Kane charges him in the corner but Jericho moves. Jericho goes for the Codebreaker but Kane pushes him off! Kane goes for the Chokeslam but Jericho escapes the hold and gets out of the ring! Jericho runs up the ramp holding his head and gets counted out!
Winner by Count-Out: Kane
Match Rating: ** ?
Kane doesn?t look happy, even though he got the victory. Chris Jericho smiles at the top of the ramp holding his head. Apparently he’s saving himself for the Royal Rumble.
Quick Match Results
Kelly Kelly def. Jillian
Shelton Benjamin def. Vance Archer
Kane def. Chris Jericho via CO
Bump of the Night: Benjamin throwing Archer out of the ring
Match of the Night: Chris Jericho vs. Kane ** ?
This episode of Superstars was brutal up until that main event. Wow! I wish they?d just give us a main event with two veterans every week. Last week we had Christian vs. Regal and this week Jericho and Kane. I?ll sit through half an hour of crap if that’s what I had to look forward to every week. That was some great wrestling and because there were only three matches tonight like there should always be, they were given plenty of time to tell a story and create some art. That match is what I want to see all the time as a fan of wrestling.
Final Rating: * ?
E-Mail ? MikeyT817@hotmail.com
Be sure to check out tomorrow’s Smackdown recap.
Thanks for reading!