Well, once again I greet you all with a ?hello?. Welcome to the forty-first installment of ?From the Desk of Mr. V?. I am, as always, your WrestleView.com resident educator and let’s get started with a couple of announcements.
First off to those that have e-mailed me, I thank you as always. However, I have been teaching a lot this week and was not able to reply. I will be sending you a reply to last week’s comments after this column is completed. Thank you all for your patience.
Also, let us not forget. Let us observe Veterans? Day in the United States. I am not trying to be tacky here because though I may not be 100% for our government (but who isn?t nowadays), I am 100% behind my military. My grandpap served in World War II for the Navy. I had cousins and uncles fight alongside their military brothers in Korea and Vietnam. A good friend of mine served years back in the first Persian Gulf War, and my little brother served in Iraq for a year and a half. Also, my stepfather-in-law (I think that is what he is called) was recently the Commander for the Veterans of Foreign Wars (or VFW) in the state of Pennsylvania. So, this week’s homework assignment will be this (and yes, it will be added before my column this week)…
Now matter if you are from The United States to Pakistan to Canada to Europe, make sure you thank a veteran today. I know my column will not be posted until the day after, but they will get the message. In my brother’s words, you will never know how much a ?Thank You? means to those that served a country. To all that served in the military, please accept my thank you.
Quote of the Week
“People in hell in want ice water, but they can?t get it.”
– Muhammad Ali
I read this quote in the book ?Double Yoi? by the late, great Myron Cope. When Cope mentioned to Ali (then Cassius Clay) that he has a big mouth, but what happens if he does not win a championship. Ali answered back ?I?ve got to think big?. Then a couple sentences later, enter this quote. In a way, the quote states ?you can?t always get what you want?. This quote reminds me of Christmas Shopping. A kid sits on Santa’s lap and says that he/she wants this, that, over there, over here, etc. I am happy to say that my shopping for my family is mostly completed and I am happy to say that my family will have a great Christmas. But when I hear kids saying this to ?Santa Claus?, I would mark out of Santa stated this quote. It’s true, class. Not everything will be handed to you. Just a thought.
I got nothing! Say tuned next year when I start enforcing all these rules in 2010. Maybe I will get one or two more in 2009, but I think this portion may be out the window soon.
Actually, I will have a new one next week (thanks to Rocky Jr.)
What the students ?may? have missed if they were absent during some days this week. (AKA ?Headlines?)
This is my new ?headlines? portion. I will pick three headlines from a hat and provide my take on each of them. Some may be what a million columnists already mentioned, or some may be thoughts on Vance Archer’s new name and hairstyle. That we will never know, but here is what the hat (or in my case a fedora) told me to give an opinion on?
Headline #1: Turning Point Preview
I am hoping not to have spoiled some of the matches on the card, but from what I am looking at I must comment. Now this is from Wikipedia, so it is truth if Peter Griffin would be in a six sides of steel match against Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo, right?
Ok, seriously here are my thoughts.
Motor City Machineguns vs. The British Invasion for the TNA World Tag Titles
Reading through the current card, this might be one of those matches to see. I am actually happy to see the Guns get a tag title shot here. Unlike some of my colleagues I do like the gymnastics at times, as long as it is done right and that they sell. Mostly, selling is the problem. The Brits have come a long way and I think the reason for this is Doug Williams. Overall, I think this match has the potential to be a pretty good contest.
ODB/Sarita/Taylor Wilde vs. The Beautiful People for all the Knockout’s Marbles!
Ugh. All I have to say is please don?t let Rayne, Sky, and Von Erich win these titles. I fear the worst here. Next!
Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner
Lashley I am not caring about here. I know it was a big signing for TNA, but has it really accomplished anything? Steiner is the trump card here. If he does something to woo Mrs. Lashley, then on a comedy standpoint it is worth it. TNA should seriously consider selling those ?Krystal? cartoon T-Shirts. It is a must for that wrestling fan during the Christmas Season.
Awesome Kong vs. Tara in Six Sides of Steel
Ah Yes! The best match on the card in my opinion. Is it a bad thing to think this is the best match on paper? The rivalry between the two is great and one of the best rivalries of 2009 (without all the interference going on). Tara is the only Knockout that has a chance to beat Kong clean. Usually a women’s match in a cage does not do well. But if Kong, Tara, or even Daffney are involved, then it is something to look into.
Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe
Angle and Wolfe, if the chemistry in the ring is in place, could be a great match. Wolfe can counter anything Angle can throw at time. Angle is one of the best wrestlers in pro wrestling today. The question is will Wolfe be put over here or will he be buried in TNA’s mid-card purgatory after this one? I guess I will have to find out Sunday.
Amazing Red (w/Don West) vs. Homicide for the X Title
If one likes high flying, then this match will be paradise. If Homicide is not too dominant, then this can be a great match to watch.
AJ Styles vs. Daniels vs. Samoa Joe for the TNA Title
I want to see this as the best match of the card on paper, but I can?t. AJ’s Title run has not been that great and I think many can blame Russo for this one. Joe is not at his ?wrestling? weight and I am concerned that he could injure someone or be gassed out after the ten minute mark. Daniels (predictions spoiler alert) has no chance at winning this thing. Daniels is there for style points, thought I would love to see his hard work with TNA be paid off with a World Title Run. This has potential to be a good match, but in no way will this be a five-star match.
Will Mr. V spend his money on this Pay-Per-View? Probably not. I will more than likely do what any mooch would do and read Adam Martin’s PPV recaps or listen to Sunday Night Showdown (which is a tremendous show by the way).
Headline #2: Dennis Miller WILL be on RAW December 14
You know me, when someone from Pittsburgh appears on RAW I mark out. I will mark out here once again! I honestly think that this will be a great show! It is the Slammys and it is a three hour show. If one has read a dictionary or got passing grades in school they would understand Miller’s humorous take on the many things in life. The only way this will ?fail? is if he pretends he is on Monday Night Football. Wow, was that run bad.
Headline #3: Kurt Angle’s charges are completely dropped
I was hoping to get into Flair getting married, but the last headline I picked was this one. I know that I was one of many to crucify Angle without reading too much of the facts, and now I am the one that is eating crow here. Still, even though the charges against him are 100% dropped I must say this to Angle. And NO, it is not for him to get help (which I think he should do anyway).
Stop crying on television.
When Angle won the Gold Medal in the 1996 Olympics, he was a tearful, joyous occasion. When he cried while taping this Pizza Outlet commercial?
?that was actually funny.
But crying on television every time? Look, I know when charges are dropped on someone they feel vindicated. However, they don?t cry all the time. It looks goofy. That is all.
This week, I must get out a detention to the following.
Guys sitting front row calling people on their cell phones – That is pretty stupid. You pay hundereds of dollars and don?t pay 100% attention to the surroundings around you. Instead, you are probably calling your friends and saying how rich you are.
Jerry Lawler – I am just losing interest in his commentary. Without the heel/Attitude ear Lawler, he is pretty worthless.
The Snuggie – Boy I can?t stand these commercials. And if you buy one of these things for a pet, consider this a warning that you will be in Eternal Detention.
WWE and TNA – For raising your prices five dollars starting in 2010. What a way to say ?thanks? to your loyal purchasers. Like I said, the best test is to drop PPV prices five bucks and if sales don?t improve, then raise them. At least give that a chance.
Clark – I know this chat room user may be upset when he reads this. You should never be banned from the chat room you bad, bad student!
Syracuse – For letting Michael Cole graduate college. And if I can find the High School Cole graduated from, it too will go in detention.
Jeremy Borash – He just looks like someone that will talk nice to you and then say to Dixie Carter ?Hey, I think he hates Hulk Hogan?.
Urban Meyer – The Florida Gators head coach commented on how bad officiating has been in the SEC. Here I thought he should be sending them a Christmas card for handing him a couple victories.
Tim Lincecum – Don?t waste you baseball career by smoking pot, kid.
People that cry after buying WrestleMania Tickets – People, they are on sale for months at a time (if I am wrong, my apologies). Don?t get too worked up, or else you will start acting like Kurt Angle.
Eternal Detention will go to the following.
ETS and The Praxis Series – This is serious, students. If you are becoming teachers and want to say a bad thing about this company, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will publish yours and my comments to them at www.ets.org at the end of the year. YES! I am website dropping here.
Michael Cole – When a guest host botches a name, that is ok and only merits a detention. But when a WWE Commentator messes up a host’s name (calling a NASCAR driver Kyle Logano), then that is pathetic. Cole, please resign. There are so many guys better than you. I am begging you right now. You can even keep the ?Vintage? trademark, just leave.
Dixie Carter – If her speech was ?real?, then shame on her. That is like telling your best workers who give their 100% ?Thanks, but no thanks?. Dixie, what you did with signing Wolfe was great. But thinking Hogan is the best thing in the world and will make TNA a #1 company, then you are dreaming.
Hulk Hogan – How can I not forget Terry here! What a joke he has been, huh? He says that he will make TNA the #1 company in pro wrestling, yet won?t make an appearance on Impact other than media showings. Also, it is funny how he is promoting the heck out of his new book and it does not even crack the ?Top 10? among Bestsellers. There is more to this, but I won?t add to the humiliation. To conclude, a request to Vince McMahon: Make a ?Rise and Fall? of Hulk Hogan DVD.
That ECW announcer – I won?t address her by name, because that would offend Justin Roberts and Tony Chimmel (who are good). And that outfit she was wearing? She looked like that Banana from the ?PeanutButterJelly Time? song
Seriously, she is terrible. I would rather be in a crowd of screaming college 20-something girls at a Jonas Brothers concert than listen to this woman announce a match.
Mister V’s Honor Roll for the Week of November 2 – November 6, 2009
I was a bit too wordy on the Detentions piece, so let’s just get down to business.
Distinguished Honors – Chris Jericho vs. Finlay, WWE Superstars, November 5.
After about a month of mainly subpar wrestling on Superstars, the WWE finally rewarded us with a quality main event featuring two of the best in-ring workers today. I thought the transitions were excellent. The story told in the ring was brilliant. They both were aware with their surroundings and the wrestling between both were impressive. From the story in the ring to all the mat tactics, this was one of the best pure matches of 2009. Like I said in my Facebook Status, watch this match. You don?t need a whole lot of those MOVESZ~!!! to have an all out amazing contest. The finish by the way was when Jericho countered the Celtic Cross and hit the Codebreaker.
Move of the match: Finlay using the ring apron to boot Jericho to the floor.
High Honors – Kofi Kingston/MVP/Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton/Legacy, Monday Night Raw, November 2.
As the students know, this teacher likes a good story. This Kofi vs. Orton feud is turning into something really special, and we can all bask in its glory. It looked great at the start, when it was a 1-on-1 battle with Orton and Kofi. However, Legacy interfered and Kofi could have laid down. But Kofi said ENOUGH, and took on all three of them. Luckily, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne gave Kofi some reinforcements and we had a pretty good six-man tag. The selling was good by all wrestlers. Each wrestler had their moments, which is great given the fact that it was a six-man tag. I particularly enjoyed the finish, in which Cody failed a crossbody on the waiting arms of Mark Henry. Henry finished him off with the World’s Strongest Slam to end this match. All I can say is let the story continue.
Move of the Match: Kofi doing a suicide dive landing on all three members of Legacy.
Honors – Colt Cabana vs. Nigel McGuinness, ROH on HDNet, November 2.
To those who actually watched this match, you were rewarded with a good back and forth contest. The viewers were reminded that this was Nigel’s last match on HDNet and I for one was not disappointed. The match started with a series of locks and holds with no one getting the upper hand. The middle of the match featured some tactics outside the ring and a few more submission holds. And the finish? Well, it was a little disappointing. I am one that likes counters, but there was a bit too much at times. The ending was also a bit of a surprise, in which Colt Cabana hit a pretty stiff backbreaker for the pinfall victory. Though the match as a whole was pretty good, I thought the ending was subpar. Still, from a wrestling standpoint it got a couple points higher than a couple of Smackdown matches.
Move of the Match: After many chances, Nigel McGuinness gave the fans what the wanted and hit a Tower of London.
Honorable Mention (graded C+ or higher): The Young Bucks vs. The Briscoes on 11/2; Miz vs. Bourne on 11/2; Benjamin vs. Ryder on 11/3; Tatsu/Christian vs. Kozlov/Jackson on 11/3; Swagger vs. Primo on 11/5; Tara vs. Hamada on 11/5; Styles vs. Daniels on 11/5; Hernandez/Morgan vs. Ray/Devon on 11/5; Ziggler/Kidd/Smith vs. Morrison/Shad/JTG on 11/6; Mysterio vs. Knox on 11/6; Punk vs. R-Truth on 11/6; and Hardy vs. Batista on 11/6.
Worst Match of the Week – Diva’s Battle Royal, Monday Night Raw, November 2.
I almost went with Wolfe vs. Deaner on Impact, but then it hit me. After watching this ?match? again, why was Gail Kim eliminated first and not the Bella Twins? Absolutely boggles this teacher’s mind. First I thought Gail was just being tested, but this is totally wrong.
Dishonorable Mention: Castagnoli vs. Redwood on 11/2; Sheamus vs. Noble on 11/2; Regal vs. Goldust on 11/3; Archer vs. Jobber on 11/3; Birchill vs. Reks on 11/5; Wolfe vs. Deaner on 11/5; Lashley vs. Homicide on 11/5; Wilde vs. Rayne on 11/5; Phoenix vs. Jobbette on 11/6; and McIntyre vs. Wang Yang on 11/6.
On a Side Note?
Ok, ADHD moment here. I am watching old Smackdown clips during my break and I once again saw Paul Birchill’s ?Pirate? gimmick. I actually hope that he loses next week and comes back as ?The Pirate?.
Weekly TV Wars
ROH on HDNet (November 2)
Best Segment: None of them were good, but if I had to pick one it would be Kenny King talking about why he hurt Jerry Lynn.
Best Match: Cabana vs. McGuinness (Grade: B)
WWE Monday Night Raw (November 2)
Best Segment: The skits were mostly made for humor. The slight edge goes to the Raw’s got Talent scene. I thought Khali’s performance as a judge was great and Chris Masters showed the crowd a hidden talent that I dare anyone try to do at home.
Best Match: Kofi/MVP/Henry vs. Orton/Rhodes/DiBiase (Grade: B+)
ECW (November 3)
Best Segment: Christian and Regal sparring with words at the beginning of the show made for good TV.
Best Match: Christian/Tatsu vs. Jackson/Kozlov (Grade: B-)
WWE Superstars (November 5)
Best Segment: The Raw Rebound! Ask the Divas is so stupid.
Best Match: Jericho vs. Finlay (Grade: A-)
TNA Impact! (November 5)
Best Segment: I did not find any segment worth noting as good. But if I had to pick one, it would be the interaction with Mick Foley and Abyss.
Best Match: Styles vs. Daniels (Grade: B-)
WWE Friday Night Smackdown (November 6)
Best Segment: The opening segment involving Undertaker and Chris Jericho.
Best Match: I had four of the matches on this card with the grade B- or better. But I must pick one and go with R-Truth vs. CM Punk (Grade: B)
Students? Choice for Show of the Week: TNA Impact (by a vote of 3-2).
Mr. V’s Runner Up: Monday Night Raw
This week was not a good week to be a wrestling fan if you were looking for some memorable segments. However, this show did have that and also had some decent matches on the card. Ozzy and Sharon were ok with their roles as guest GMs, so no real complaints here. We were treated to some matches involving The Miz, Evan Bourne (in a title match), a 6-man tag which I mentioned earlier, and we even saw the destruction of Jamie Noble. Other than the Diva’s Battle Royal, it was a pretty good show (but not a memorable one like say Ben Roethlisberger’s or Bob Barker’s).
Mr. V’s Pick for Show of the Week: Friday Night Smackdown
First off, Vince McMahon was not on the show. That alone is worth for a ?runner-up? award. All of the segements tied into a storyline, which was pretty rare this year. The squash matches were done well. Drew McIntyre is looking like the real deal and Beth Phoenix is re-gaining her power once again. Both good signs for Smackdown. The other matches were for the most part very good. Even Mike Knox had a good showing (and I don?t say that a whole lot). Also, I am not big into storylines involving officials. But when Scott Armstrong, it was pretty good. R-Truth’s win over CM Punk might be one of those upsets of the year. Now I am not sure what they are doing when it comes to R-Truth. However, it does look like are going to finally do something with him. Batista’s assignment this week was to be more intense, and he passed with flying colors against Matt Hardy. I gave this match high marks because it just showed Batista at his very best.
Show of the Week: Friday Night Smackdown (2 Points)
Runner-Up: Monday Night Raw (1 Point)
Students? Choice: TNA Impact! (1 Point)
1) Friday Night Smackdown (57 Points)
2) Monday Night Raw (40 Points)
3) TNA Impact (40 Points)
4) ECW (28 Points)
5) ROH on HDNet (12 Points)
6) WWE Superstars (1 Point)
I am not sure about this (and don?t quote me on this), but if Mike Tedesco is reading I must say congrats to you my friend! You are doing the recaps for what is the 2009 Show of the Year! I don?t think Raw or Impact can gather enough points this year to win the TV Wars. It might be premature, but it is also obvious. Congratulations to Friday Night Smackdown for being winning the first-ever ?Mr. V Weekly TV Wars?. Now Smackdown has more trophies to add into their collection.
However, the silver medal is still in play students. So keep on voting what you thought was the best show of the week by e-mailing me at email@example.com.
Commentary Report Card
For the week of November 2 – 6, 2009.
**I have renamed The Dunce Cap. It will be christened as ?The Awful Waffle?.**
Michael Cole: D+ (2009 Grade: D) **Current Leader of The Awful Waffle**
Jerry Lawler: D+ (2009 Grade: C-)
Josh Mathews: C (2009 Grade: B-)
Byron Saxton: B (2009 Grade: B) **Dean’s List**
Todd Grisham: A- (2009 Grade: B+) **Dean’s List**
Matt Striker: A (2009 Grade: A-) **Dean’s List**
Jim Ross: N/A (2009 Grade: A-) **Dean’s List** (Illness)
Mike Tenay: C+ (2009 Grade: B-)
Taz: B (2009 Grade: B) **Dean’s List**
Don West: N/A (2009 Grade: C-) (Now Amazing Red’s Manager)
Mike Hogewood: B- (2009 Grade: C)
Dave Prazak: B (2009 Grade: B-)
Mister V’s Gold Star Segment! (Presented by: JR’s Family Bar-B-Q. Wow! I just looked at this 1560 Game Blitz package and it is an offer that you can?t refuse! For $18.88 you can get TWO bottle of Bar-B-Q sauce, a pack of beef jerky, and an autographed photo of the best announcer in pro wrestling! Perfect for those football afternoons. Don?t wait, try some today!)
Gold Stars, Gold Stars, Gold Stars! Here are the people who got them!
Ricky Langston – for giving me this awesome recipe on pork chops. They were amazing!
Jericho and Finlay – for making WWE Superstars worth watching this week.
Chris Kelly – Why am I doing this? Oh yeah, because you made a sign self-promoting yourself rather than promoting WrestleView’s Resident Teacher! I should put you in detention, but my heart grew three sizes this week. Enjoy your gold star, you earned it.
Degeneration X – For giving Michael Cole an atomic wedgie back in the day.
Zedrick Patterson – Because I said I would give him a gold star.
To all the students that I teach – I wish you all the very best this coming grading period.
Jeremy Samples – Since I forgot to mention him for three weeks, he will get three weeks? worth of gold stars. This is week #2.
To the columnists who partook in nominating wrestlers for this tourney – details next week, we are still in the nomination process. Still waiting for you choices, Stephens and Crelly!
To those that read my recent material on ?Examiner? – Thank you all very much.
Sandstorm – I will address him as his ID on another wrestling website that I venture in. Mr. V might be a guest host this or next week! I am excited for this, as many believe my Fishbowl appearance was a success.
Rocky Jr. – for offering me a proposition on something that I will not mention on the column.
Christian – STILL the ECW Champion!
The Miz – STILL the United States Champion!
Michael Williamson – He provided his own 32-man tournament and I have to say it is pretty impressive. I will send you an e-mail as soon as I can, as I have been occupied with many things at this time. But your tournament bracket may be featured in a later column.
This week, thank a veteran. You don?t have to e-mail me but if you want to thank a veteran though my account, then I will forward them to my brother. He would appreciate it.
We are still in the process of getting our 32-wrestler ?Dream Tournament? set up. We broke it down to the following (which we all agreed it was fair):
10 from WWE; 6 from TNA; 5 from Japan; 5 from Mexico; 3 from ROH; and 3 from the Independent federations.
The faculty came to an agreement on twenty-two wrestlers. The other ten are under consideration.
Well, that sums up another edition From the Desk of Mr. V. As always, if you want to chat wrestling you can always go on FaceBook and ask me your questions (I am on there at least once a day). You can also e-mail your comments to my address at firstname.lastname@example.org. I am getting much better in responding to the e-mails, so drop me a line.
It is the end, and you know what that means. Time to push in your chairs, walk in a straight line, and exit your classroom door (more than likely your computer room or dormitory room). Until My Ring of Honor Recap, I bid you farewell! Thanks for reading and you are all officially?????DISMISSED!!
Look me up on Facebook under Anthony J. Valvo in the Pittsburgh Network
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Later ?From the Desk of Mr. V??.
– ROH Recap for 11/9
– Mr. V #42
– The 2009 ?Dream Tournament?
– The Final Tally for the Worst Themes of All Time
– More work on my other site The Examiner
Check out my recent Examiner articles! Heck, you can even subscribe to my articles! Help me earn a little bit more by just going to the link: click here!
If not for the students, there would be no Mr. V. Thanks for Reading.