*** Before I start can I just say a huge congratulations to Wrestleview’s Managing Editor Hunter Golden and his wife Anna on the birth of their daughter Abigail Madeliene Golden. It’s Hunter’s first child so let’s all wish him the best in his struggle for sleep and sanity over the next few years. Good luck with that Boss! ***
?Tis the season folks. No, not THAT season, the other one, Wrestlemania Season! The big day is a mere 13 days away and that doesn?t leave a whole lot of time to prepare. There’s the simple task of actually remembering to buy the event (hey I know people who have been caught with their pants down on that one before now), knowing who to invite round to watch ?Mania with you, what booze to get in, how much booze to get in, what food to have as well as drinking games, gambling and even dress code!
So rather than leave this until next week and be caught in a whirlwind of panic trying to organise Wrestlemania in six days, take this step by step guide yours truly has meticulously mapped out for you and everything will turn out peachy.
Baia’s Step by Step Guide To Enjoying The Perfect Wrestlemania
Step One: Remember! Wrestlemania is not just an event, it’s an entire day ? This I cannot stress enough. For a Backlash or a Judgement Day, sure, just sit yourself down in front of the TV as it’s about to start. There’s no need for hype or anticipation before a throw away PPV. But Wrestlemania is a different animal altogether. An atmosphere needs to be generated. That atmosphere cannot be generated by your friends turning up at the last minute with a six pack and a pizza. Sure that doesn?t sound too bad, but Wrestlemania demands the hype and the anticipation. Nothing should be last minute.
If you?re the host, inform your guests that your house is open to them all day. Don?t place restrictions on when they can turn up. Make sure throughout the early portions of the day that sensible snacks and beverages are laid out. You don?t want to shoot your wad with the pizzas, nachos and curry straight away. Crisps (chips to you Americans) and dip, peanuts, breadsticks, cocktail sausages etc should be the order of the first few hours with a decent amount of ice cold beers and soda available as well. Keep the hard stuff locked away until the WWE promo video hits.
Remember that entertainment needs to be provided also. Just having your guests show up to sit around your house wondering what to do with themselves creates a lull and could prove to be a costly buzzkill for your festivities. Which brings me to my next step.
Step Two: Only Wrestlemania related content can be on the TV at all times ? What better way to get geared up for the ?Granddaddy of ?em All? than by feasting yourselves on the Wrestlemania’s of yore? You?ve got 25 previous ?Mania’s at your disposal to choose from, so make the most of them! This year I?d suggest the matches that should be on everyone’s pre-Mania match playlist should be; Bret Hart vs Steve Austin ?I Quit? match from Wrestlemania 13, Cena and Batista’s World Title victories at Wrestlemania 21, HBK vs The Undertaker from last year’s event, every Money In The Bank match, The Gimmick Battle Royale from Wrestlemania 17, Austin vs The Rock from the same ?Mania and of course, Hogan/Andre and Savage/Stemboat from Wrestlemania 3.
Step Three: Invite Plenty of Guests, but not too many ? Big functions like organising a Wrestlemania party can be a lot of fun, but easy to get carried away with. Word can soon spread about your soiree and before you know it you?re saying yes to people who you barely know, then they?re turning up at your house and eating your food and drinking your beer. There’s the potential for overcrowding and for things to get out of control. Now whilst rowdiness and Wrestlemania do go hand in hand, you don?t want to be worrying about your friends not being able to see the show because there’s too many people in their way or worrying about ornaments being broken and things of that nature. That worry is a distraction, and come bell time there should be no distractions. It should be all about the show and nothing else. During the day it’s natural to worry about whether people have got enough to eat and drink, that’s just good hosting 101. But if some wank stain is still giving you cause to worry during a Title match or Bret Hart’s first match in a WWE ring in 13 years, then they?ve got to go.
Step Four: Don?t provide everything ? It’s simple etiquette to bring your own supplies to any form of house party, so even though you know your mates are likely to know this, just give them a nudge in the right direction. After all, Wrestlemania parties don?t come cheap, so why should you pay through the nose for everything? Make sure you?ve got at least two different varieties of beer and some cider as well. Obviously the amount of which depends on how many people you?re planning on inviting. I?d say a good host should provide each guest with two or three complimentary drinks each and enough finger food to keep them satisfied until their appetites grow larger.
Step Five: Make things interesting ? Last year my friends and myself each threw a ten spot into the middle of the room and bet on the outcomes of each match. The winner would be he who correctly predicts the most outcomes. This allowed us to actually invest in the lesser matches on the card and care about them. Remember, not only does it heighten your enjoyment of the event, but it also gives you the chance to earn some serious dinero. The more people at your party, the more money in the middle.
Step Six: Drinking Games! ? Because every major gathering needs them. Simple as that. You?re all planning on getting a bit crazy, so why not have as much fun as possible doing it. Every time Michael Coles says ?Vintage? you drink and so on. Just make sure no one voms on your floor.
Step Seven: Make sure other entertainment is also provided during the day ? Whilst Wrestlemania dominates your TV, there’s also the risk of overloading your guests and yourself, and nobody wants that. So make sure darts boards, games consoles, poker sets, pool tables and pi?atas and the like are on offer too.
Step Eight: Don?t under any circumstances let anyone discuss the possible outcomes of matches based upon rumours they?ve read online or elsewhere ? This type of behaviour defeats the whole purpose of having fun. If everyone is locked in discussion as to what each guy has planned post Mania then why bother watching it at all? Allow yourselves to suspend reality and just enjoy the event for what it is. Save that behaviour for the smarks.
Step Nine: Pace yourself! ? Drinking isn?t a race, no matter what some ?hardcore drinkers? may have you believe. You don?t want to be ?that guy? who could barely speak or see the screen come bell time because you were so hammered. You don?t want to have spent good money on a day you won?t have any recollection of and then will have to watch in shitty quality on Youtube in stark contrast to your friends phenomenal HD TV (don?t put a ?Mania party on without one of these folks!). Just make sure you?re pleasantly tipsy come the opening pyro so you can still enjoy the event and actually understand what’s going on. Plus, everyone hates overly drunk annoying people, and you don?t want to spoil a group of liquer and wrestling adrenaline fuelled guys only Wrestlemania night of the year do you?
Step Ten: For the love of God get a good night’s sleep before! ? This is so essential I can?t even begin to tell you. Especially here in the UK where ?Mania kicks off at the stroke of midnight and doesn?t allow you to call it a night until 4 a.m. That’s a commitment you?ve got to be ready for. A well placed power nap during the day will do wonders for you as will an extra hour or two on top of your regular 7-8 the night before. That last hour of ?Mania can be gruelling, no matter who’s fighting, if you?re sleep depraved. For those of you not fortunate enough to grab a quick 40 winks here or there before the festivities begin, make sure you befriend Red Bull during the day to keep you on your toes. Also, to all you ?Mania party hosts, if some of your friends do pull the all dayer at your house, please allow them a power hour (not all at once though, it’s not a slumber party remember!) should they request it. After all, you want them all in their finest form for when the show starts!
So read these steps carefully, then read them a few more times. Memorise them and allow them to sink in. You?ve got 13 days and counting to put them to work. Don?t let me, your guests or yourselves down. You?re better than that!
And boy oh boy does next week hold in store something special for you all, as next week, Baiamonte’s Casa presents to you? wait for it…
THE OFFICIAL BAIAMONTE?S CASA (in association with wrestleview.com) WRESTLEMANIA DRINKING GAME!
It’s going to be colossal. I?ll see you there.
Until then though, it’s arrivederci from me.