Ciao mother truckers. Another Monday and another visit to the Casa. Moist with anticipation like I am? Fantastic!
I had a dream I wrote this column last night, and strangely enough, my fantasy booking of Raw was rather sensibly booked, that is until Ted Danson walked away from Wrestlemania as the Unified World Champion after defeating John Cena in a ?Cheers rules? match. I?m not quite sure how the dream version of me landed at that conclusion to his fantasy booking of Raw, but it?d be interesting to see nonetheless.
By the way, before I begin, can I just congratulate the Raw creative team for stealing one of my ideas from the very first Casa in drafting Jeremy Piven in as General Manager for Raw next week. If you Casa devotees remember, the first Casa was about which celebrities could successfully make the jump to sports entertainment. One of the main contenders was a certain Mr.Piven, who I believed (and still do) would make a great General Manager, especially In his Ari Gold character, and even lead his own faction. So let’s see where he goes from next Monday. I?m expecting big things. Seeing as technically it was my idea.
So, onto this week’s column, and the final chapter in my fantasy booking trilogy. I am faced with the arduous task of booking Monday Night Raw until Wrestlemania 26. Not exactly an easy task when compared to booking ECW and SmackDown. Raw being a top heavy brand and everything, things may get messy here. But let’s give it a go.
Well, seeing as Night of Champions is several hours away as I write this, whatever I write here will probably already be defunct. But let’s just ignore that fact eh?
Tonight, Raw’s Title matches see Maryse retain the Diva’s Championship over Mickie James whilst The Big Show takes the United States Title from Kofi in the six pack challenge match and finally, Randy Orton and Legacy celebrate the perfect evening by retaining the WWE Title and regaining the Unified Tag Team Titles respectively.
The following night on Raw, Shaq makes the most of his guest General Manager powers and books Randy Orton in a WWE Title match against the man he didn?t pin in the triple threat match last night, John Cena! Backstage, HHH is seen arriving when The Miz informs him of the Title match that has been made for tonight. HHH looks visibly annoyed, which The Miz, being the little prick that he is, takes advantage of, and goads HHH, asking him if he’s going to cry and whine until he gets his way? Or is he just going to marry another Mcmahon? HHH stops short of destroying Miz and instead smiles, and informs him that he has an idea.
The Game storms Shaq’s office and Shaq tells him there’s nothing he can do about inserting him into tonight’s Title match. Hunter tells Shaq that’s not what he’s bothered about tonight. Tonight he wants The Miz. Shaq looks shocked, but agrees to it anyway.
Meanwhile, The Big Show begins his reign as United States Champion by destroying Evan Bourne in a non title match. Kofi Kingston then attacks Show after the match, landing several kicks to the seven footer, sending him fleeing from the ring.
In the bout between HHH and The Miz, The Miz attempts to walk out on the match, just to enrage The Game even more. However, HHH then tells The Miz that he forgot to mention that he went back to Shaq and requested that the match be made a No DQ, No Countout match. As The Miz attempts to just run away altogether, he runs straight into Shaq at the top of the ramp and is fed to HHH who destroys him with a pedigree for the victory. Post match however, Miz grabs the mic and asks Hunter where his Title is? He then asks him how come he’s not in the main event tonight and is instead pre occupied with a guy he once mocked in his DX days? The Miz tells HHH that he’s a fallen hero, whilst he is a rising star. HHH then marches back down to the ring to finish Miz off properly, however, everyone’s favourite Mohawk surprises Hunter with a brass knucks shot, followed by a Reality Check!
In the main event, Orton and Cena battle back and forth until it looks like Cena may regain the Title with the STF. Legacy have other ideas though and help Orton reach the ropes. As Cena gestures to the ref about the interference, Randy yanks his tights and, with the aid of the feet on the ropes trick as well, pins Cena and escapes with the Title!
The following week, Ari mother.ing Gold is running the show. Or, to you squares who don?t watch Entourage may know him, Jeremy Piven. Piven congratulates Orton on his successful Title defense last week and says he was so impressed by last week’s match that he wants to see it again. He said a rematch of that caliber deserves a grand stage though, and what grander stage than on PPV at Summerslam? Piven informs Orton that he has been granted the right to book Randy Orton in a Title defense against John Cena at Summerslam. He also has the authority to ban Legacy from ringside, or else they will be fired along with Randy!
HHH then confronts Gold? I mean Piven backstage and demands a rematch with The Miz tonight. Jeremy tells Hunter that he has been informed that Mizanin is not in the building tonight so therefore cannot make the match. HHH furious begins to smash up GM Piven’s office until Piven sees Jack Swagger walk past the office and tells HHH to get ready because he’s facing Swagger tonight!
Elswhere, Kofi Kingston defeats Evan Bourne in a Number #1 contender’s match for the US Title. Post match, Champion The Big Show, who was doing guest commentary on the match, dismantles both men, in particular Kofi.
In his match with Jack Swagger, HHH doesn?t get a chance to vent his rage as Swagger stuns him with his mat based offense, grounding The Game and frustrating him further. Eventually, HHH’s experience tips the match in his favour until The Miz turns up out of nowhere and clocks him with brass knucks again with the referee distracted to allow Swagger to score the pinfall and gain a huge upset victory!
The following week, HHH and Miz are booked in a match for Summerslam. Meanwhile, Big Show successfully defends his US Title against Kofi, which brings out Jack Swagger, who claims that after defeating HHH last week, he deserves a US Title shot, being the All American American. MVP disagrees and comes out on the ramp to remind Swagger that they have unfinished business, which sparks a pull apart brawl between the two after Swagger makes another comment about Porter’s criminal past. The Big Show, laughing, says until the two girls can solve their problems like men, he’s going to take his Title home and relax and wait for a real challenger to come along. Only Show doesn?t have to wait long, as ?The World’s Strongest Man? and 400 pounds of awesome, Mark Henry comes out and lays down a challenge to Show for Summerslam. As Show accepts Henry’s challenge, Henry makes a statement of intent by slamming Show from the ring! Show is embarrassed and furious as he makes his way back up the ramp.
The week before Summerslam, a match between MVP and Jack Swagger is booked for the PPV also. Come the ?Hottest Event of the Summer? or ?Biggest Party of the Summer? as it is now called, MVP defeats Swagger with a handful of tights, after reversing a Swagger attempt and doing the same thing. Post match, MVP tells Swagger that you could say he ‘stole one?. Swagger is furious and demands a rematch backstage, where he continues to berate MVP’s criminal past, which alerts Cryme Tyme, who continue to annoy Swagger further, claiming they?ve made a living off criminal activity, but only from people who had it coming. As Swagger berates them as they leave suddenly, he realizes that Cryme Tyme have stolen his bag with all his clothing in!
In the clash of the titans, Mark Henry defeats the Big Show by count out, so Show luckily retains his US Title. The Miz meanwhile, actually manages to give HHH a decent run for his money, utilizing a hit and run strategy, so not to get caught by The Game. However, Hunter finally gains control of The Miz after a failed attempt at using the brass knucks once more, and hits him with a pedigree for the win. Post match, HHH puts the brass knucks on himself and lays The Miz out with them.
In the main event, a ref bump causes chaos, as the replacement ref makes his way down to the ring in time for Orton to tap to the STF. What the new referee didn?t see however, was Orton’s foot underneath the rope, something which was spotted by the original ref who was coming round on the outside. As Cena is celebrating with what he thinks is his newly won WWE Title, his celebrations are cut short as the original ref informs the new ref of what he saw, with video evidence backing up his claim. The refs decide to re start the match, allowing Orton to stun Cena with a quick RKO out of nowhere for the victory.
The next night, Orton declares Cena finally out of his life, as he’s beaten him twice one on one in the last month, and deems him no longer worthy as a challenger to his throne. Orton then says the only two superstars on the Raw roster he can think of who deserve a WWE Title shot are Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase. Orton then offers them the chance to take him on in a triple threat match at Breaking Point for the Title. With no General Manager having been announced for the show, The Macdaddy himself, Vincent Kennedy Mcmahon walks out and informs Orton that he can?t make his own Title matches and will not be defending the Title against Rhodes and Dibiase at Breaking Point. Orton then asks Mcmahon who he’s going to put him up against. Vince says he isn?t going to put Randy in any matches, which Randy seems pleased with, however, the new permanent General Manager of Raw might have a few plans for Orton? The Nature Boy Ric Flair! Orton is beside himself!
Naitch then congratulates Orton on pinning John Cena twice in a row, but tells Orton that at Breaking Point, when it comes to Title matches, it’s submissions that count, and Orton has never made Cena tap out! So at Breaking Point, it?ll be Randy Orton defending his WWE Title against John Cena in a 30 minute Ultimate Submission match! Flair then mentions that he called in a favour with Teddy Long for tonight and has brought The Great Khali over to Raw for one night only to team with Mark Henry to face Orton in a handicap match. Orton looks as if he’s about to cry as Flair let’s out a customary ?WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!?
Elsewhere, Swagger turns up to Raw in preppy clothes he had to borrow after Cryme Tyme stole his bag the night before. MVP falls about laughing at Swagger and mocks him in front of the rest of the locker room. Swagger pushes Porter and the two have to be pulled apart. Outside, Swagger bumps into Rhodes and Dibiase who tell him they appreciate what he did for Randy on his first night on Raw when he stepped out on the gauntlet match, and they didn?t care much for Cryme Tyme either. This leaves Swagger with a wry smile on his face.
The Big Show attempts to save face by claiming he knew what he was doing when he was counted out against Mark Henry at Summerslam and is still the most dominant force in professional wrestling. Henry comes out and tells Show that as soon as he’s done with Orton tonight, he’s coming back for Show! In the main event, Khali and Henry destroy Orton, which eventually brings out Priceless and then Show, who targets Henry as they battle to the back. Khali doesn?t succumb to Legacy though and leaves them all laid out as Cena and Flair laugh from the ramp.
In the weeks leading to Breaking Point, Priceless agree to team with Swagger in a six man tag at Breaking Point against MVP and Cryme Tyme. The Miz’s luck goes from bad to worse as Maryse spurns his advances following his loss to HHH, saying Cena and HHH have proven Miz to be nothing more than a peon and a main event wannabe. HHH meanwhile welcomes Naitch to Raw as GM and asks for a favour. Naitch tells him he can have anything. Hunter tells Flair that he wants the winner of the Cena/Orton match at Breaking Point at the next PPV ?Hell In A Cell?. Ric agrees. He also books Mark Henry in a rematch against Big Show at Breaking Point in a submission match for the US Title.
At the PPV, Swagger and Priceless prevail over MVP and Cryme Tyme after Swagger scores a revenge pinfall over MVP. Henry and Show meanwhile fight to a draw as Henry looks to have worn Show out with a bearhug, Show summons up his last ounce of strength to deliver a knockout punch to Henry’s dome, passing out in the process, so neither man wins and Show retained the Title once more.
Likewise in the WWE Title match, neither man is able to score a fall in the 30 minute ultimate submission match, until Cena locks Orton in the STF in the dying seconds. Orton somehow manages to hold on and escape with the Title with both men failing to score a deciding fall.
The next night, GM Flair informs HHH that he is booking a rematch between Orton and Cena for tonight to decide once and for all who is going to face Hunter at ?Hell In A Cell?. Orton bemoans having to defend the Title again against a man who is unable to beat him. Flair then tells Orton his night is about to get a lot worse, as the special guest referee for the match is going to be Dave Batista! Orton looks disgusted as Batista walks onto the ramp and embraces Ric and Hunter. As Ric tells Batista that despite his intense hatred for Orton, he?ll have to call the match straight down the middle, Batista tells Ric ?Oh that won?t be necessary?, which puzzles Flair, who asks ?why?? and Batista says, ?because of this!? and without warning Batista nails HHH and Batista Bombs him off the stage through tables and electrical equipment! Batista walks off without saying a word as everyone involved looks on in shock.
The doctors later inform Flair that HHH won?t be competing for a while, and Flair is then informed that Batista has left the building. Naitch has no option but to cancel the main event and instead books it for the PPV and makes the match a ?Hell In A Cell? match to finally settle the score between Cena and Orton!
Jack Swagger once more puts his case forward to be granted a US Title shot, seeing as Mark Henry cannot get the job done properly. MVP then informs Swagger that they?re 1-1 and are in need of a rubber match, whilst Henry tells them both to back off as he’s going to make it third time lucky against Show. GM Flair decides to book all three of them in a fatal four way match against Show at ?Hell In A Cell? to stop any arguments! The Miz however, has plans of his own, and, still desperate to impress Maryse, attempts to worm his way into the match. Flair originally dismisses him, saying he has to prove himself like the other competitors in the match, rather than just interjecting himself in Maryse matches all the time.
To prove himself, Miz demands a match for there and then against Mark Henry! Flair laughs and says ?your funeral? and books the match. After seeing Miz dismantled by Henry, Flair says that he certainly showed guts, and he understands what it’s like trying to impress a woman, although he didn?t have to try too hard, so he grants The Miz another chance and says if he can beat former champion Kofi Kingston next week, a feat which The Miz achieves.
Come HIAC, Miz somehow comes away with the US Title, to everyone’s surprise, after pinning The Big Show, who had taken a string of signature spots before Mizanin nailed MVP as he attempted to score the pinfall and win the Title for himself. By doing so, he also finally wins the affections of Maryse, thus forming the single most arrogant tandem in pro wrestling history.
In the main event, inside ?Satan’s Playground? and the million other demonic names for the HIAC, Orton and Cena beat each other to a pulp, with the fight eventually culminating with both men, chair in hand, blood streaming down their exhausted faces, and swinging for the fences. Both connect with stereo sickening thuds, the chairs dropping then their bodies to the mat. However, in an almost freak occurrence, Orton lands on top of Cena ala HHH on Austin at No Way Out 2001 and scores the fortuitous pinfall victory.
On Raw, Orton holds a memorial service for Cena’s career. He says he’s finally put Cena down despite Ric Flair’s best efforts. Orton then deems himself unbeatable and then says there isn?t a man he can?t beat. Big mistake. Out comes Mark Henry, who reminds Orton that the last time they faced off, it was Henry who emerged the victor. The Big Show then comes out and tells Henry they?ve still not finished their little rivalry. Orton tells them they should perhaps finish that instead of focusing on the WWE Title. Just then, Ric Flair appears on the big screen and says he?ll kill two birds with one stone and make Mark Henry vs Big Show for tonight, with the winner facing Randy Orton at Bragging Rights!
Meanwhile, HHH returns and demands answers from Batista, who’s been AWOL since his attack on The Game. Hunter says he is not going to rest until he gets Batista and will beat the answers from him if need be.
John Cena, in the meantime, becomes embroiled in a feud with Jack Swagger after Swagger becomes jealous of Cena’s Hollywood style treatment, being given movie roles and talk show appearances etc, when he’s an All American American. The two are booked in a match at Bragging Rights also.
The Miz doesn?t get much rest, as Maryse loses a non title match (she traded the Diva’s Title with Mickie James. Losing it at Summerslam and winning it back in a triple threat at HIAC) to Gail Kim. Frustrated, she tells Miz she needs cheering up and he needs to do something heroic. Miz decides to pick up where he left off with The Big Show, and during the Number #1 contender’s match, distracts Show long enough to allow Henry to pick up the victory. After the match, Miz uses Maryse’s perfume to blind show before nailing the giant in the head with the US Title! Miz then stands over Show like David over Goliath, as Maryse fawns over him.
Come Bragging Nights, and it’s a mixed night for Team Arrogance as Maryse wins her Title match against Gail Kim but Miz is torn apart by Show, although he retains the Title after Show’s frustrations boil over, causing him to be DQ?d. Maryse lambasts Miz for his poor showing, but he lies, convincing her it was his gameplan as he knew Show would boil over, and it was worth taking a beating to keep the Title whilst making Show look stupid.
Also on the card, John Cena defeats Jack Swagger in a tightly contested affair. Following the match, HHH comes down to the ring and cuts a promo on Batista. He says Batista has been given long enough to give him answers, and it’s only a matter of time before he marches to Washington D.C (Big Dave’s hometown) and gets them himself. Ric Flair appears on the big screen and informs HHH that he has received a pre recorded message from Batista which he plays on the titantron. Batista tells HHH that he?d seen the light, and that Randy Orton really was the future of the company. He tells HHH that Orton had the balls to do what he wanted, and he realized that when Orton put him on the shelf and took his Title away from him. Batista also says that HHH has gone soft since losing the Title at Backlash and The Game he used to know would have regained it by now by any means necessary. Batista says the torch has finally been passed and that he’s not siding with Orton, but appreciating his point of view for once. Dave tells HHH that when Orton lost his Title, he took it back. He didn?t appreciate the way he did it, but it worked, and that was the fire HHH once had, but now, he’s content with playing happy families and using Ric Flair to give him the Title shots he wants rather than earning them. Batista says it makes him sick what Hunter has become and the powerbomb off the stage was his way of putting HHH out of his misery.
The video cuts and HHH tells Batista that he’s still alive and kicking and is ready to inflict as much misery as possible on Batista when he’s returned from injury. Just then, a hooded man jumps the ring and smashes The Game with his own sledgehammer, knocking him unconscious. The man reveals himself to be Batista! He grabs the mic and says ?Stay down this time Hunter. Game over?.
In the WWE Title match, Randy Orton just scrapes past Mark Henry with a flash pin/feet on the rope special.
Ric Flair announces that at Survivor Series, John Cena, Mark Henry, MVP and Cryme Tyme will face off against Randy Orton, Priceless, Jack Swagger & The Miz (who is now feuding with MVP) in a Traditional Survivor Series Elimination match with the stipulation that if Orton’s team loses, Orton must defend his WWE Title the next night on Raw against whoever wins the fall over him.
In an attempt to vent his anger at anyone, HHH attacks The Big Show on Raw to prove a point that he still has his fire, and also to take out some of the rage he wants to use on Batista. Flair books a match between Hunter and Show for Survivor Series.
At SS, HHH goes to use his sledgehammer on Show but the referee stops him, allowing Show the time to deliver a knock out punch to Hunter and win the match. Meanwhile, Cena’s team prevails over Team Orton, with Cena about to gain the fall over last man Orton, Mark Henry squashes his teammate Cena with a World’s Strongest Slam onto Orton, who?d just taken an Attitude Adjustment, and scores the pinfall himself, thus earning a WWE Title shot the next night.
The next night, Orton rages at his teammates from the night before, saying they?ve pitted him in a match with a monster. He says if he loses his Title tonight he’s going to punt every one of them in the skull, including Rhodes and Dibiase. They don?t take kindly to these words and Priceless inform Orton that he’s on his own tonight, as it’s just as much his fault he’s in this situation as it is theirs.
Backstage, Cena and Mark Henry have words, and get pretty heated about the previous night’s events, as Cena tells Henry that he cost him his shot at winning back his most prized possession. Cena then calms and tells Henry it’s cool and in hindsight, maybe he would have done the same thing, he just asks Henry to promise him that he?ll grant him a Title match if he beats Orton. Henry shrugs and walks off.
Orton picks up on the disharmony between Cena and Henry and uses it to get into Henry’s head backstage, telling him that Cena won?t stop at anything to win the Title back, and that he?ll want payback for what Henry did to him the previous night. Pleased with his work, Orton informs Priceless about what he’s done and apologises for how he spoke to them earlier.
However, come the main event, Orton’s plan doesn?t work, as Cena doesn?t become involved, and Henry begins to dominate the champ. This draws Priceless out, which then draws Cena out. However, Orton believes Cena to be coming out to thwart Henry. At first it looks that way as Cena looks to be sizing up Henry before he takes out Priceless! Orton screams at Cena in shock and when he turns round is greeted by a World’s Strongest Slam and a three count! MARK HENRY IS THE NEW WWE CHAMPION!!!
The following week, Henry grants Cena his Title match at Armageddon, which Ric Flair ok’s. Orton meanwhile, is livid. He places the blame on Priceless for getting taken out by one man and tells them that he’s through with them. He says they cost him the Survivor Series match and they cost him the Title. He appeals to Flair to grant him a rematch, but according to Flair, Orton’s contract didn?t contain a rematch clause as he never requested one! Amused, Rhodes and Dibiase tell Randy he’s the only one out of the three who probably won?t have a Title match at Armageddon as they?ve got opponents Q?ing up for a shot at their Unified Titles. Pissed off, Orton flippantly tells them he could beat them both on his own, which gains the attention of GM Flair, who books Orton in a handicap match against Priceless at Armageddon.
Also on the Armageddon card, MVP vs The Miz is booked for the US Title, as well as Maryse vs Gail Kim for the Diva’s Championship and HHH vs The Big Show in a street fight.
Priceless defeat Orton at Armageddon and Orton concedes that he was wrong about them and that whenever he critics them, they always come back stronger. He calls them the best tag team of their generation (OK, not saying much) and tells them that he’s sorry. Priceless simply walk off and leave Orton alone in the ring.
HHH gains a measure of revenge over The Big Show, after a sledgehammer shot and a Pedigree onto a chair wins him the street fight. Meanwhile, Team Arrogance have a disastrous night as Maryse loses the Diva’s Championship and Miz loses the US Title.
In the WWE Title match, Cena injures his knee and attempts to execute an Attitude Adjustment on Henry, however his knee gives out and both men crash over the ropes and to the floor, both failing to make the 10 count, so Henry retains. However, after the match, it turns out Orton and Priceless are indeed reunited as they pick the bones of what’s left, dismantling Henry and Cena. Orton then grabs the mic and tells Flair that he’s going to punt both Cena and Henry into oblivion unless he grants him a Title match at the Royal Rumble. Just as Orton’s about to force the former Sexual Chocolate to eat boot, Flair appears and grants Orton his rematch. However, it?ll be a triple threat with Cena involved too.
At the Rumble, Orton regains the Title after pinning Henry after Priceless take Cena out. In the Rumble match meanwhile, Batista appears and eliminates HHH! The Rumble also marks the return of Shawn Michaels who enters the Rumble at number #1. He lasts until the final four until he’s eliminated by John Morrison.
On the Raw following, HBK cuts a promo saying he’s been away too long and asks GM Flair who he has to beat to earn a Title match. Flair tells HBK that six men will get an opportunity to earn a Wrestlemania Title match against Randy Orton, as they face off in an Elimination Chamber match for the Number #1 Contendership at No Way Out. The superstars involved in the match are; John Cena, Mark Henry, HHH, HBK, The Big Show and Batista, who is now medically cleared to compete.
At No Way Out, The Miz regains the US Title in a similar way to which he won it in the first place, in a multi man match involving Champion MVP, Jack Swagger and Evan Bourne. Maryse however comes up short in her quest to regain her Diva’s Title.
In the Raw Elimination Chamber, Cena and HBK team up to eliminate both The Big Show and Mark Henry, then HHH waits for Batista to be released from his pod. When he is, the two tear each other apart, crashing through pods and eventually through the Chamber door and to the back, essentially eliminating each other as referees and officials try to separate them. This just leaves Cena and HBK, the two men that started the match. Cena finally prevails following the STF.
Meanwhile, for those of you who remember, Swagger interjects himself into the SD Elimination Chamber, which is for the World Heavyweight Championship, and costs The Undertaker the Title in order to secure a match against The Deadman at ?Mania, with his eyes firmly set on ending ?the streak?.
On the following night’s Raw, The Miz dumps Maryse after she loses her Title rematch, calling her a failure and saying he now holds the power, not her.
HBK says even though he’s not going to be main eventing ?Mania, he wants to face someone who soon will be, the man who eliminated him from the Royal Rumble, John Morrison! Morrison accepts on the next SmackDown, as the past and the future look set to collide. HHH and Batista are also signed into a no hold’s barred match, with neither man allowed to even touch the other before ?Mania. Cena vs Orton is also announced as the main event for the WWE Title following Cena’s victory in the Elimination Chamber.
So at WrestleMania, Miz loses the US Title to Evan Bourne, and then pleads with Maryse to take him back, but she’s having none of it. Swagger comes up painfully short in his quest to end ?the streak?. John Morrison proves HBK was right to label him the next big thing as he scores a clean pinfall victory over the future Hall of Famer, earning a standing ovation and a handshake and a hug from Michaels in the process. HHH vanquishes Batista, scoring his first ever victory over his former prot?g?, and John Cena finally defeats Randy Orton for the WWE Title in the main event!
Just out of interest, here’s my WrestleMania 26 card
Money In The Bank Ladder Match
The Big Show vs Kofi Kingston vs Mark Henry vs Rey Mysterio (winner) vs Matt Hardy vs MVP vs Kane vs William Regal
Diva’s Championship Match
Gail Kim ? vs Beth Phoenix
United States Championship Match
The Miz ? vs Evan Bourne
Unified Tag Team Championship Match
Priceless ? vs The Hart Dynasty
CM Punk vs Jeff Hardy
The Undertaker vs Jack Swagger
HBK vs John Morrison
No Holds Barred Match
HHH vs Batista
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Chris Jericho ? vs Edge
WWE Title Match
Randy Orton ? vs John Cena
AND I?M SPENT!!! That’s a looooooooong column. Well over five thousand words. Apologies for the length, but I feel like I covered as many bases as possible there and I feel it’s worth the read. I hope you all feel the same way too. If you do or you don?t, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow me on Twitter at @JoeBaia.
Next week, I?ll be discussing the glorification of the old ECW and debating just how broad it’s influence has proven to be since it’s death. Until then, arriverderci motha.as!