?Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event?? The WWE video leads us into the show.
The WWE Superstars video plays and we?re brought into the arena with no pyro this week. R-Truth comes out to open the show so this will be Smackdown’s contribution to the show. Jim Ross and Todd Grisham welcome us to the show.
Ricky Ortiz will be his opponent and he enters the ring with a mic. Ortiz says the truth is everyone needs to rally up their personal lives. If R-Truth wants to know ?what’s up,? it?ll be Ortiz’s hand at the end of the match.
R-Truth vs. Ricky Ortiz
The bell rings and they lock up. Ortiz quickly gets a headlock and stuns R-Truth with a quick jab. Ortiz locks another headlock on and jabs him again. Ortiz gets a third headlock on and for the third time hits a jab. R-Truth hits him with a kick and locks him in a headlock before jabbing him a bunch of times. R-Truth goes into the ropes so Ortiz attempts to counter with a hip toss but R-Truth counters that with a roll-up for a one count. R-Truth quickly gets to his feet and takes Ortiz down with a jumping back heel kick for another one count. R-Truth controls the arm with an arm bar so Ortiz backs him into the corner and doesn?t give a clean break as he delivers a right hand.
Ortiz whips R-Truth to the opposite corner but R-Truth is able to slingshot over him, do a cartwheel, split under a clothesline, and take him down with another jumping back heel kick. R-Truth then hits a hip toss for a two count. R-Truth kicks Ortiz in the corner and mounts the second rope for the 10 punches but Ortiz is able to slam him off big time. Ortiz picks R-Truth up and sends him out of the ring. R-Truth takes a nasty bump on the way down and lands with a thump. We?ll pick this up after the break.
We come back from the break to see Ortiz drop a knee and then an elbow on the lower back of R-Truth. Ortiz then locks on a half Boston Crab. R-Truth attempts to claw his way to the rope and gets there but Ortiz pulls him to the center of the ring and kicks the lower back. Ortiz picks him up and hits a nasty lifting backbreaker for a near fall. Ortiz locks the half Boston Crab back on. It takes R-Truth some time but he gets to the ropes. Ortiz again pulls him to the middle to the ring and stomps him. Ortiz goes to the ropes and hits a shoulder block to the back. Ortiz drops a knee and steps on his face, releasing at the referee’s count of three. That’s illegal to step on the face for those of you keeping score. Ortiz stomps him and drags him in to pin him for a one count. Ortiz now locks on a reverse chin lock, aka Big Show’s Modified Camel Clutch. Ortiz takes some time to crossface R-Truth before locking it back on. R-Truth eventually powers up as the crowd wills him on but Ortiz just face plants him.
Ortiz whips R-Truth hard into the corner and R-Truth goes down. Ortiz mounts on the second rope and comes off with a double axe handle to the lower back. Ortiz stands on R-Truth’s neck and gets off quickly. Ortiz locks on another headlock as JR informs us that the Irish Whip came from Dan O. Mahoney, who beat people with it. R-Truth eventually punches out of the headlock and sends Ortiz into the ropes, going for a dropkick but Ortiz holds the ropes and R-Truth hits the mat hard. Ortiz hits R-Truth with a low dropkick to the face and he gets a near fall. Ortiz hammers R-Truth before locking that reverse chin lock back on. R-Truth quickly powers up and punches out of that.
R-Truth peppers Ortiz with some right hands and goes into the ropes for a head-scissors but Ortiz counters with a sidewalk slam. Ortiz goes into the ropes and goes for the Big O but R-Truth moves. Ortiz charges R-Truth in the corner but R-Truth sidesteps him and rolls him up for a near fall. R-Truth clotheslines him down twice before attempting a back suplex but Ortiz counters with a cross-body for a one count. That’s a nice counter for a big man. Ortiz goes into the ropes and R-Truth takes him down with a powerslam for a near fall. R-Truth goes into the ropes for his Scissors Kick but Ortiz moves and attempts a powerslam but R-Truth slides off. R-Truth goes into the ropes, ducks the clothesline, and hits the Lie Detector for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: R-Truth
Match Rating: **
R-Truth happily looks on in the ring as they show replays of the end of the match. R-Truth finishes by dancing with the crowd.
Backstage Vince McMahon is talking on the phone when all of a sudden his former bastard child Hornswoggle runs in and gets behind McMahon. Chavo Guerrero bursts in and McMahon asks what’s going on. Guerrero says the little ?freak? bit him. McMahon asks if he bit Chavo and Hornswoggle says he did. McMahon asks if Hornswoggle is happy about that and he is, but McMahon says that’s too bad because they?re going to settle it in the ring. Guerrero says that sounds unfair since he’s so much bigger than him before looking happy about that. McMahon levels the playing field by forcing Guerrero to compete on his knees. Guerrero gets on his knees and makes Hornswoggle shake his hand, which he does? and then he promptly bites him before running off doing his scream laugh, which apparently is what all midgets do who pretend to be leprechauns.
Did you know WWE.com averages over 100 million weekly page views?
It’s time for ECW’s contribution to the show. Josh Mathews and Matt Striker welcome us back to the show.
Zack Ryder vs. Tyler Reks
It’s strange. When I was looking at WWE.com earlier today they promoted this as a tag match also featuring Shelton Benjamin and Yoshi Tatsu. This will be a rematch from last week.
My favorite referee Charles Robinson is officiating this one. The match begins and they take circle the ring before locking up. They tussle around to the corner and Reks gives a clean break. Ryder talks a little trash and sticks his head between the ropes to keep Reks away. Ryder takes caution before locking up with Reks and Ryder quickly locks on a waist lock. Reks quickly gets out of it with an arm wrench and powers him down to an arm bar. Reks hits a nice arm breaker before twisting the arm and taking him down with a shoulder thrust. Reks drops a leg on the arm and Ryder quickly gets to the corner and sticks his head between the ropes again.
They attempt a test of strength but Reks quickly wrenches the arm and locks on a standing arm bar. Ryder attempts to whip him into an arm drag but Reks hangs on to the arm bar. That was a nice little chain. Ryder powers up and hits a back heel trip. Reks kicks him away and takes him down with an arm drag into an arm bar. It’s around this point that Matt Striker announces that he is retired. Not really a news flash. Reks drops some knees on the shoulder before pinning for a two count. Reks wrenches the arm and drives some shoulders into his injured arm. Reks hits a back heel trip and pins for a two count. Reks has a standing wrist lock locked on now but Ryder powers up and knees out. Ryder gets a headlock on but Reks powers out and locks on a standing wrist lock. Ryder gets to the ropes and uses them to back flip out but Reks is quick as he clotheslines him over the top rope. Ryder loses the headband on the way down.
Ryder takes a lot of time before even getting on the apron. Ryder attempts to catch Reks by snapping his neck off the top rope but Reks stops that and hip tosses Ryder back in. Reks covers for a near fall. Reks then goes right back to the arm bar. Ryder quickly gets up and forearms out. Ryder sends Reks to the corner so Reks attempts to slingshot over but Ryder is able to kick him in the midsection. Ryder then baseball slides him out of the ring. Ryder goes outside and drives him midsection first into the ring apron and gets back in the ring, taunting the crowd. We?ll pick this up after the break.
We come back from the break to see Ryder holding Tyler Reks in a dragon sleeper. Reks powers to his feet so Ryder powers him to the corner and kicks him in the midsection a bunch of times. Ryder covers for a two count. Ryder continues the assault by planting his face into the mat and covers for a one count. Ryder now locks on a standing chin lock. This match has gone on WAY too long. Reks attempts to power out but Ryder knees him in the midsection and bounces his head off the turnbuckle. Ryder shoulders him in the midsection a few times before backing away.
Reks knees Ryder in the face when he charges and hits a quick school boy for a two count. Ryder quickly punches Reks and chokes him using the second rope. Ryder then bends Reks? back over the ropes. Ryder then kicks Reks in the chest and pins him for a near fall. Ryder talks a little trash so Reks attempts to punch back but Ryder cuts him off with kicks to the chest. Ryder kicks some more before hitting a snapmare and locking on the Rings of Saturn. Reks eventually powers up but can?t connect with anything as Ryder sends him to the corner. Ryder charges but Reks sidesteps him. Reks charges into Ryder’s back elbow and Ryder comes off the second rope for a missile dropkick but Reks sidesteps that. Hopefully this match is coming to a conclusion now.
Reks hits a punch and goes to bounce Ryder’s head off the turnbuckle but Ryder counters that. Ryder charges into a flapjack and Reks gets a near fall. Reks charges and blocks Ryder’s boot. Reks has an Irish whip reversed on him but he slides under Ryder’s clothesline and punches him in the midsection. Reks hits a face plant for a near fall. Ryder head-butts Reks in the midsection and goes for the Zack Attack but Reks counters into a jackknife pin for a near fall. Ryder sends Reks into the ropes and lowers his head so Reks kicks him in the face. Reks charges into a flapjack midsection first on the top rope and Ryder hits the Zack Attack for the win. Mercifully this is over.
Winner by Pinfall: Zack Ryder
Match Rating: * ?
Still to come tonight is Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle. They do a pretty funny graphic where they lower Guerrero down as he has to wrestle on his knees. I guess you had to be there.
They show a quick video package of John Cena at a recent Chicago Cubs team.
Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole welcome us back to the show. They bring us to the Raw Rebound. Five words: The Million Dollar Man rules. This was a very good Raw this week.
Chavo Guerrero’s music hits and he?ll compete against Hornswoggle on his knees next.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle
Guerrero must wrestle on his knees
The match begins and Guerrero is laughing at Hornswoggle. Guerrero knees up to Hornswoggle and Horny pats him on the head. Guerrero gets to his feet and argues to the referee. Hornswoggle goes for a test of strength so Guerrero pushes him down hard. Hornswoggle quickly comes back with a dropkick and he begins slapping Guerrero around. Hornswoggle kicks Guerrero hard and continues hitting him until Guerrero gets to the ropes. Guerrero gets to his feet so Hornswoggle kicks him in the back of the knee and locks him in a headlock. Guerrero whips him off and Horny shoulder blocks him down. Horny goes over Guerrero and kicks him right out of the ring. Wow.
The referee yells to Guerrero to ?Get on your knees!? and makes Guerrero go up the stairs on his knees. Guerrero rolls into the ring and Hornswoggle covers for a one count. Hornswoggle clubs Guerrero before going into the ropes and getting clotheslined down. Guerrero clubs Hornswoggle on the back before hitting a body slam. Guerrero goes to take the middle turnbuckle pad off and as the referee goes to fix it he gets on his feet and stomps Hornswoggle. Guerrero locks on a mini-Sharpshooter before slapping Hornswoggle on the back of the head. This gets Guerrero a one count. Guerrero goes for another body slam but Hornswoggle turns it into a cross-body for a two count.
Hornswoggle charges into a knee in the midsection. Guerrero slaps him before going into ropes on his knees and attempting a big splash but Hornswoggle gets his knees up. Hornswoggle clubs him before doing Eddie Guerrero’s taunt and getting Guerrero in a front face lock. Eddie Guerrero is not happy. Chavo quickly sends Hornswoggle into the turnbuckle. Guerrero clubs him and does Eddie’s taunt now. Guerrero now goes for the Three Amigos on his knees but Hornswoggle blocks the third and suplexes Chavo Guerrero! You have to be kidding me. Hornswoggle hits Finlay’s jumping seated senton before going up top before being cut off by Guerrero, who is on his feet. Guerrero goes for a superplex but Hornswoggle bites him and head-butts him off. Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Hornswoggle
Match Rating: *
Hornswoggle laughs as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler put this match over huge. That does it for this week.
Quick Match Results
R-Truth def. Ricky Ortiz
Zack Ryder def. Tyler Reks
Hornswoggle def. Chavo Guerrero
Bump of the Night: R-Truth getting thrown out of the ring
Match of the Night: R-Truth vs. Ricky Ortiz **
Normally I do my best to remain optimistic with the shows I recap but there’s no optimism for this one tonight. This was the worst Superstars since the inception of the show in April. No Main Event guys (Vince McMahon backstage doesn?t count) and only one match had mid-card guys in it. It really felt like Velocity or Heat. Is the honeymoon officially over for Superstars or is this just another off week? I?m scared of what’s in store for me Thursday nights after tonight’s broadcast.
That being said, I must admit something that I never thought I?d say. Ricky Ortiz impressed me tonight. Ortiz looked really good in his match tonight. Ortiz went full out with R-Truth and they put together a very decent match. R-Truth looked good as well but it was Ortiz that impressed me tonight. Ortiz moves well for a big man. Now if only they could ditch the lame gimmick and get him something that could actually work.
Wow, I can?t believe I made it through Zack Ryder vs. Tyler Reks. There would be nothing wrong with this match if it went one segment but it went through a commercial break and it was just about as general as a match gets. I believe in order to have a good match that goes over a commercial break there should at least be some exciting action. Tyler Reks didn?t impress me for the second week in a row. There’s nothing that makes him stand out above anyone else. He actually looks a whole lot like Ricky Ortiz. The point is he doesn?t stand out. Reks better get something going soon or he may go the way of Braden Walker.
I feel really bad for Chavo Guerrero. Actually I don?t. He probably gets paid well for looking like a fool. I feel bad for Eddie Guerrero, whose trademark moves were insulted. Call me old fashioned but it was insulting to have his moves used in this match.
Final Rating: * ?
E-Mail ? MikeyT817@hotmail.com
Be sure to check out tomorrow’s Smackdown recap.
Thanks for reading!