Well, since I did not get one from my students I will just skip ahead and say welcome to your latest classroom session. I am your WrestleView resident teacher Anthony J. Valvo and once again the classroom has a full slate. I do have a few stories to briefly go over with all of you, as there were some goings from both TNA and WWE. Also, I will post my Honor Roll, Gold Stars, Predictions Standings, and so much more. So class, pencils down and clean off your desk. School is in session and I am the teacher for the next ?x? amount of minutes it takes you to read this material. School is in session.
Quote of the Week
Since this is the 58th column, I looked into some quotes of one of my favorite NFL players of all time. Even though this man retired in 1984, I think if he was ever involved in professional wrestling during his NFL run he would have made Ric Flair cry. I am talking about legendary Pittsburgh Steelers Linebacker Jack Lambert! Sorry Dolph Ziggler, but he is the most well known athlete to ever come out of Kent State.
So, the quote from Jack Lambert that I want to share with my WrestleView students will be:
?I believe the game is designed to reward the ones who hit the hardest. If you can’t take it, you shouldn’t play? ? Jack Lambert
Now usually I would not put a quote from a football player, but this is different. When someone in my area thinks of the number 58, we instantly think of Jack Lambert. Expect one from Mario Lemieux when I get to #66 and Crosby when Mr. V reaches #87.
1) WWE released some mid-carders, a no-name, and a diva
Let me briefly go over why it was good for all parties that they were future endeavored from the WWE.
?Hurricane? Helms ? I won?t lie. I marked out when he became the Hurricane. I thought he could help some of the young guys on the ECW roster months ago. However, you ever hear of ?the older you are the wiser?? Well, I think Helms made some pretty bad decisions that led to his departure from WWE. Furthermore, I am very surprised that he was not released when he was recovering from his neck surgery. Remember that class? Didn?t the WWE pay him even though he was out for over a year? Maybe I am not getting my facts straight, but he was on the Smackdown roster the whole time he was injured.
So, where does Helms go from here? Well, I think he will find a home in TNA in the summer. With the rumors of Shannon Moore and Jeff Hardy appearing in TNA very soon it is the obvious choice. Also, I think TNA will give him a chance. Would he win championship gold there? I don?t think so. However, he is not the same wrestler we saw five years ago. To conclude, it was a good move for both parties involved. I hope Helms learned from this, and that he will be back better than ever in a new company.
Paul Burchill ? First off, I think the man was over as a pirate. But Vince did not know the popularity of that and send him down to OVW where he won various titles in WWE Developmental. Even though a guy like Birchill can win titles in developmental does not equal to the same success in the WWE. He is still an above average wrestler, but was just put in the wrong gimmicks at the wrong time. Who knows where the future will lie with Burchill. All I can say is whoever signs him up they got themselves a steal. I would not be surprised if Burchill actually wrestled in Europe or even back on Ohio Valley Wrestling. He would get over no matter where he goes, as to me he was underrated and underused in the WWE since he walked the plank years ago.
Charlie Hass ? He is a victim of being great in the ring, but not so great when it came to a character (outside of his impressions of JBL, Steve Austin, and The Great Khali). I do wish this guy well because he is one of the better pure wrestlers in the industry today. Based on his in-ring abilities, I seriously think that he could go to Ring of Honor and possibly win a TV Title there. Haas rarely had a bad match, and I honestly think that even Haas would give ROH some star power on their HDNet program. I know I would love to see Haas wrestle anyone on that roster.
Maria ? My first reaction was disbelief. Three days after she was ?future endeavored? her profile for WWE.com was still up (last Tuesday they finally took it down). Now, I think this is legitimate as she has other ventures that she wants to explore. She is on a reality show and has a new song that just hit the airwaves. Just a small critique, but Mickie James is a much better singer. Let’s face it, she was not there for the WWE 100% anymore, and I think that led to her birthday pink slip. Will she get back into pro wrestling? I don?t think it will happen this year, but again TNA always wants like those former wrestlers that can multitask (Lashley). What I guess I am trying to say is never say never with Maria. I know after Dancing with the Stars, Stacy Keibler was never seen again in a WWE ring. Ashley Massaro was there for a short period of time after Survivor. This was a good break for both parties again.
I heard there will be more wrestlers getting that call from the WWE ?Turk? soon. If anything else happens, then I will provide my take on it.
2) TNA said good bye to dominance
I was sad to hear that Kia Stevens (Awesome Kong) and TNA could not work together anymore. It was a bit surprising, but simply put Kong did not want to be back in TNA. I think Kong wanted out not just because of the comments that Mr. The Love Sponge, but because TNA would not do a thing to make things right.
Maybe it was both parties fault. TNA is to blame for not making this all work out. Kong should be out there destroying men and women all around TNA, but sadly that is not the case anymore. However I do blame Kong a bit as well because of the one thing that TNA is entirely guilty of. That my student is stubbornness. All parties were stubborn from the moment this was posted on the dirt sheets. So sadly, TNA lost one of their best wrestlers (man or woman) in that company, Kong will never reach that star status that she did in TNA, and Mr. The Love Sponge apparently still has a job and is begging his so-called Army to support him.
3) Umaga’s autopsy results were revealed
I won?t go too much into this subject, but my thoughts were right. I wish he did the right thing and went to rehab. But instead he is not part of the unhappy endings of professional wrestlers.
4) Wrestlicious Wreview
Yes, I misspelled ?Wreview? to make it sound catchy.
Before I go on this rant I want to say if you are a fan of women’s wrestling you may want to skip this part. I say this because I respect all my readers and don?t want to offend anyone out there.
They said it was comedy and wrestling. Honestly, I got more laughs watching Mr. Stubborn and Mr. Grumpy bowling, as seen here:
Ok, so I found the link to their first show and it was only 23 minutes long (well 22 minutes and 41 seconds exactly). So after a year or so of trying to get a TV deal, a TV Network called MavTV finally picked up the show.
Now I know why the show took so long for someone to pick it up. Simply put, it was the worst show I have ever seen (and I am seen a LOT of bad TV). I just pray that I can live in this world for an extra 23 minutes because I watched this garbage. Let me just show you my notes for the show (yes, I did jot down notes here). **To JV and
The commentary reminded me of NFL Blitz with all the dumb clich’s and one-liners. It also sounded like some ?extreme’sports games for the Playstation one! Yes, the first one!
I hope JV Rich is spending his money wisely, because if he is not he will be on an E! True Hollywood Story feature about a man who lost more money than anyone on the face of the planet.
I read someone that they compared themselves to ?G.L.O.W?, sorry Glow this was not!
The skits reminded me of a TV Show called ?You Can?t Do That On Television? on Nickelodeon years back. Except the 80s show made me laugh at times.
The wrestling was absolutely dreadful. Only two wrestlers (Felony and Tyler Texas) actually showed wrestling ability while the rest were dumbed down just to enlighten us. I wished they did not do that.
Kandi Kisses is I guess a Jillian Hall character. Kisses singing made Jillian Hall sound like a Grammy Award winner.
The overall atmosphere was dreadful. How could someone sit through this for twenty-plus minutes?
Overall, the show was an F?and I never gave that grade out! I hope this is not the future of women’s wrestling. By the way, if you want to see good women’s wrestling check out SHIMMER. SHIMMER is a fantastic women’s wrestling federation. As a matter of fact, I may pick up a DVD or two of SHIMMER.
Also, to get that Wrestlicious memory out of my head I bought the WWE Legends Collection Volume 2. The DVDs inside were The Superstar Billy Graham Story, The Spectacular Legacy of the AWA, and The American Dream: The Dusty Rhodes Story. All three DVDs were a combined ten dollars at fye! If you have a fye store nearby, then pick up this collection. I save 25 bucks! Which means that Mr. V may finally purchase DVR because I think it is time to upgrade a little bit more.
To conclude this little rant, all I will say is Michael Cole, you may never get the Dunce Cap of Doom anymore. I would rather hear you say Vintage Vance Archer than sit through Wrestlicious again. However if someone actually paid me to waste 23 minutes of my life, then I will do it.
**If you skipped this passage, continue to read here**.
There were not too many people who deserve to get a detention this week. However, to entertain my students I will give you a short list of names and companies who deserve it.
TNA ? For only having fifteen minutes of wrestling on a two hour program. ROH on HDNet had a main event that lasted about eighteen minutes.
Praxis and the ETS Series ? I plan on taking the Middle School English (Code: 0049) Exam in a few months. If I pass, you are off the hook and I can teach my works to middle school students all over the Pittsburgh area.
Michael Cole ? Though your commentary is better, since you got the Dunce Cap of DOOM last week it is mandatory that you are on this list for one more week.
Tommy Chong ? If WWE was not ?PG? it would be ok. But Chong, keep the smoking weed references away from children. Their minds are already corrupt as it is with Hanna Montana and MTV.
The Word ?Vintage? ? I even saw a bottle that said ?Vintage Seltzer?. I wonder if they could make Cole a spokesman.
Gail Kim ? How can one person get injured during a pillow fight?
Hornswoggle ? Those were not ?Lucky Charms?, class.
Finlay ? He is the father of Hornswoggle right? Well, if he still is he gets one for ?bad parenting?.
Batista – I am sorry, but I really hope that jean jackets don?t go back in style because he is wearing them.
Ric Flair ? For blading in your epic battle vs. Mrs. Flair. I feel bad for the family’s daughter that made the call. Also, because of Flair’s antics, Mrs. Flair might had to job to some inmates if you know what I mean.
The Miz ? You are doing such a great job at making people hate you. Actually, for that expect a Gold Star soon.
The 5-Hour Energy Guy ? Only because a got three e-mails agreeing to put you here. You are annoying and obnoxious.
Dunce Cap of DOOM ? JV Rich and Jimmy Hart. You belong on here for giving women’s wrestling a bad name. Enjoy it here, you guys will be on here for a while.
Mr. V’s Honor Roll for the week of February 22 ? 28
Here was Mr. V’s schedule in regards to grading these matches.
2/22 – Graded WWE Monday Night Raw matches
2/23 – Graded WWE NXT Matches
2/24 – Column Writing. After that, I watched ROH on YouTube and recap the show.
2/25 – Graded WWE Superstars and TNA Impact matches (usually called ?the grind?)
2/26 – Graded Smackdown Matches
2/27 – OFF DAY
2/28 – Graded FCW Matches
I can tell right now that both TNA and WWE are building up for their top PPVs because the storylines for the most part were done well. As for wrestling, Smackdown really dominated this week and an NXT match made the Honor Roll as well. Also, I know some ROH fans thought The Briscoes vs. Bucks match was great, but I thought it was just good because of the lack of selling an offensive maneuver towards the end of the match. Anyways, here is my top three for this past week.
Distinguished Honors ? Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison vs. R-Truth, Friday Night Smackdown, February 26.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler by Pinfall. Ziggler shoved Morrison out after Morrison hit Star Ship Pain on R-Truth. The reason for Ziggler’s tactic was to clinch a spot in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match at WreslteMania.
Thoughts: Three way matches can be very tough and usually it showcases only one wrestler. However the way this match was scripted it was done to near perfection. The overall start to the match was pretty good, though I worried a bit when Truth and Morrison double teamed on Ziggler. All that aside, Ziggler was at his very best and that says a lot since he is one of the most underrated wrestlers today. The best part of this match in my opinion was how well they worked on the top turnbuckle near the conclusion of the match. Dolph’s head hit the apron pretty hard and I thought Morrison was going to win this match, but Ziggler in a surprising move saw an opportunity and ran with it.
So in all, I think all three had their moments. R-Truth was able to show his strengths and executed his kicks and his finisher (Lie Detector) very well. Morrison still needed a bit more work on his in-ring awareness, but he delivered an excellent sunset flip Powerbomb which led to Starship Pain. Last Friday was the best Morrison executed that move in a while. Ziggler’s overall awareness is what stood out. He was able to match both guys move by move. He was the most balanced out of the three as he relied more on keeping the action grounded than in the air.
High Honors ? Chris Jericho vs. Daniel Bryan, WWE NXT, February 23.
Winner: Chris Jericho by Submission. Jericho hit the Codebreaker and followed it up with The Lion Tamer.
Thoughts: This match was a great way to end NXT last week. Also, it told a tremendous story and the wrestling was very sound. So, why was this not the top match of the week? Because of the length of time it received and I don?t blame the wrestlers for that.
I must say that The Miz pairing with Bryan is perfect! As I said before, this is one of the (if not) the best pairing on NXT in regards to the story. From start to finish, I described this match as a great back and forth flow. I give Bryan a heck of a lot of credit for taking that bump on the announce table that look absolutely painful. Also, I give credit to Jericho for allowing Bryan to really hit his spots well and the end result was a great match for all involved.
I was real impressed with Jericho’s tactics here. His back suplex looked crisp, his ground work was good, and the way he sort of padded Bryan from further injury on the announce table should be commended. As for the man once called Bryan Danielson, he could not have had a better debut. He was all about making a name for himself with or without his mentor.
Honors ? Edge vs. The Miz, Friday Night Smackdown, February 26.
Winner: Edge via pinfall. Edge hit Miz with a Spear for the pinfall victory.
Thoughts: This match was very good from start to finish with a rewarding ending. The in-ring chemistry between the two was quite surprising great. They both had great awareness around their settings.
I thought this was Edge’s best work since his injury. I think the man can get over as a face if he continues to use these tactics. He erased any doubts with he did a Northern Lights Suplex with a bridge pin on Miz in the middle of the match. He was always at the right place at the right time, and this match should really boost his stock heading to WrestleMania.
The Miz was great on the mic and in the ring once again. He has elevated himself as a top heel in the WWE, and from where he started it is nothing short of a miracle. He was able to ground Edge well throughout the match. The best move was near the end for Miz, when he hit a backbreaker/inverted DDT combination.
And for the rest of Mr. V’s Gradebook based on what I felt each match should have been graded. And do you know why I do this? Because you the students voted to keep this Grade Book format rather than the honor roll format. So, here are the latest grades from last week’s matches:
A+: None to report
A: None to report
A-: None to report.
B+: Chris Jericho vs. Daniel Bryan (NXT), Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison vs. R-Truth (Smackdown), and Edge vs. The Miz (Smackdown)
B: Briscoe Brothers vs. The Young Bucks (ROH), Kane vs. Drew McIntyre (Smackdown), and Kaval vs. Wade Barrett vs. Alberto Banderas vs. Michael Tarver (FCW)
B-: Rhett Titus vs. El Generico (ROH), Tyson Kidd, DH Smith, and Natalya vs. Matt Hardy, The Great Khali, and Maria (Superstars), and Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk (Smackdown)
C+: Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, and Yoshi Tatsu vs. Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase (RAW), Christian and Heath Slater vs. Carlito and Michael Tarver (NXT), Zack Ryder vs. Primo (Superstars), Heath Slater vs. Wes Brisco (FCW), and Vance Archer vs. Brett DiBiase (FCW).
C: Christian vs. Carlito (RAW), Jack Swagger and William Regal vs. Santino Marella and Chris Masters (Superstars), Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs vs. Brother Ray and Brother Devon (TNA), Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick (TNA), Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James (Smackdown),and Penny Cash/Donny Marlow vs. AJ Lee/Johnny Prime (FCW)
C-: Miz and Big Show vs. MVP and Mark Henry (RAW) and ODB vs. Daffney (TNA),
D+, D, or D-: Colt Cabana vs. Bobby Shields (ROH), Maryse vs. Gail Kim (RAW), David Otunga (NXT), Luke Gallows vs. Silas Young (Superstars), Rob Terry vs. Mr. Anderson (TNA), and Abyss vs. Desmond Wolfe (TNA)
F or INC: John Cena vs. Batista (RAW)
Commentary Report Card
This week I gave the commentators a week off from all the harsh feedback I gave them. Though some were great and some were average, I believed that all six commentators that I graded did an overall good job on their delivery.
But now starts a new grading period, so I put entered all the announce teams in my 2009 Stanley Cup Champions (which were my amazing Pittsburgh Penguins) and picked out of random. Here is what I came up with and I will start grading them later on this week. Don?t worry class, I will not grade the commentator for Wrestlicious (I won?t put myself through that again).
Once again, here are the current announce teams. Notice that ECW is gone, NXT is in, and there was a change in the FCW Commentary team now that Wade Barrett is wrestling on NXT (honestly Barrett gave Striker a run for his money).
Team RAW: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler
Team NXT: Josh Mathews and Michael Cole
Team Smackdown: Todd Grisham and Matt Striker
Team FCW: Byron Saxton and Dusty Rhodes (yes, The American Dream is back on commentary)
Team TNA: Mike Tenay and Taz
Team ROH: Mike Hogewood and Dave Prazak
Those that will be graded on March 11, 2010: Team RAW and Team NXT.
Those that will be graded on March 18, 2010: Team FCW and Team TNA.
Those that will be graded on March 25, 2010: Team Smackdown and Team ROH.
Michael Cole, you better be good next week. You are working double!
Predictions from the Faculty Standings
As of WWE’s Elimination Chamber
1) Daniel Browne (For Queen and Country)??????????..8-4 (2-1)
2) Chris Kelly (Wrestling Radio Entrepreneur)????????..?8-4 (2-1)
3) Student of the Week (The Best Student from Prev. PPV)?8-4 (3-0)*
4) Jose Marrero (Wrestling Rumblings)?????????..???.?7-5 (2-1)
5) Mike Siciliano (Co-Host of Pro Wrestling Rewind)??????7-5 (2-1)
6) Josh Boutwell (Viva La Raza and TNA Recapper)…????.?6-6 (2-1)
7) WrestleView Students (The Loyal Readers)?????????..6-6 (2-1)
8) Sean Hurley (The Sharpshooter)??????????????…..6-6 (2-1)
9) David Stephens (That’s a Wrap and RAW/NXT Recapper)?5-7 (2-1)
10) Matt O?Brien (Notes From The Nosebleeds)??????????5-7 (2-1)
11) Doug Lackey (Reality From Ringside)?????????????.5-7 (2-1)
12) Joe Baiamonte (Baiamonte’s Casa)?????????………….4-8 (2-1)
13) Josh Piedra (The Shoot)?????????????????????.4-8 (2-1)
14) Mike Tedesco (Smackdown and Superstars Recapper)??..4-8 (2-1)
15) Anthony Valvo (From the Desk of Mr. V/ROH Recaps)???.3-9 (2-1)
**TJ Patton is still our Student of the Week, as he posted a 3-0 record for the Elimination Chamber PPV**
Mister V’s Gold Star Segment (Sponsored By: The Teacher’s Lounge hosted by David Stephens and Anthony Valvo. Because quite frankly, Jim Ross has the same items for sale and the shipping is free for those living in the United States! So if you want to see the latest on Good Ol? JR, go to www.jrsbarbq.com. As for the Lounge, we plan on taping sometime this week for VIP. We already have a guest lined up and many more on the way. So, stay tuned for further details).
Now, please allow me to present the very best of the week that was in professional wrestling and other good news. Here are the people that earned the Gold Stars this week:
The Miz ? You earned for being officially the most hated wrestling in professional wrestling. So Miz, you are doing your job as well as Chris Jericho right now. Congratualtions!
Kaval ? For earning a title shot for the FCW Championship against Justin Gabriel.
Michelle McCool ? Though you got some help, she is once again your NEW Women’s Champion!
OK Go ? Their new video is simply fantastic. Think very extended version of Mouse Trap.
The Miz and Big Show ? STILL your WWE Unified Tag Team Champions!
To all the WrestleView columnists ? I read everyone works this week for the first time in ages because I actually got a boat load of free time. I am glad I picked this week to do so. You guys were all on your ?A? game!
To CJ Bowman ? He will be our first guest on The Teacher’s Lounge very soon (as early as this weekend possibly). Look for more names coming up soon. The guests could be columnists from our great website or select VIP members.
To Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Kane, Jack Swagger, Shelton Benjamin, and MVP ? All earned a spot for the Money in the Bank Ladder match.
Friday Night Smackdown ? In my opinion, the best show of the week.
Justin Gabriel ? For executing a picture perfect 450 Splash on NXT.
Rob Terry ? STILL your TNA Global Champion (though he got a lot of help).
Kazarian – He earned an X Division Title match at Destination X this month.
Briscoe Brothers ? STILL your ROH Tag Team Champions after a superb effort against The Young Bucks.
Scott Steiner ? Because I felt like giving him a gold star. I really do miss the guy on TNA.
NO HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT AGAIN THIS WEEK!
The reason is quite simple; I don?t have one to think of. Maybe what I can assign is that you apply for the WWE NXT recap position. Whoever receives this coveted position on WrestleView.com will not only recap the hottest new show since ABC’s Modern Family, but whoever will be hired will receive a spot in Mr. V’s Predictions of the Faculty column! Contact David Stephens for more information. His e-mail address is email@example.com.
Well, that does it for me this week. I thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed this column as much as I typed it out. If you want to get a hold of me during the week, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org or by leaving me a message on Facebook. I did respond to all your e-mail this week and I was happy to do so since I got this upgrade on my computer.
Now, students you are allowed to leave the classroom. Please push in your chairs, line up straight, and exit to the closest door around you. Until my Ring of Honor recap, you are??DISMISSED!!!!
Mr. V does read e-mail, so drop the teacher a line: email@example.com.
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Also, be sure to look out for ?The Teacher’s Lounge?, coming soon to The WrestleView Radio Network.
Finally to end this column, I want to thank all of you for reading my Ring of Honor recaps on WrestleView. I actually went on Google and found out that my ROH Recaps are the top recaps on the World Wide Web. So, thank you all very much for your patience and commitment in reading that article.
If not for the students, there would be no Mr. V. Thanks for reading my column.