As you may have a blast at what you do, and there is no doubt I have a blast watching and talking about professional wrestling, sometimes life throws you a set of curve balls that makes you hit a wall the size of Montana, and it takes an awfully long time to bounce back.
With that being said, this will probably be my last column for a bit, as I am in the process of doing some major life changes, and with that being said, time is something I may be a little lacking of. I will *TRY* and get something out shortly after this, but if I disappear off the scope for a while, like I did before this attempt at a column, rest assured, I will be back.
Two topics to discuss today. First, Wrestlemania 25.
I picked up the DVD. I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed because the show lacked an awful lot of good wrestling content for something that is supposed to be the super bowl of sports entertainment. Is it an absolute flop? Hell, no. But is it one of the worst Wrestlemanias I have seen since I started picking up DVDs regularly six years ago? Answer there is simple. Indeed.
Ok. I got the six last Wrestlemania DVDs right next to me. Let’s take a look at the cards briefly, you all know them, so I’ll skip to the main events.
Wrestlemania 18 – The epic encounter between Jericho & the Game for the Undisputed WWE Title. And of course, Rock Hogan I.
Wrestlemania 19 – Lesnar lands on his head in winning the WWE title against Angle. Austin vs. Rock. And Hogan vs. McMahon.
Wrestlemania 20 – Undertaker vs. Kane, Triple H vs. Benoit vs. Michaels, Angle vs. Eddie.
Wrestlemania 21 – Batista & Cena take their spots as World champions. An epic between Angle & HBK. And the birth of Money In the Bank.
Wrestlemania 22 – Shawn vs. Vince in a brutal no holds barred. Cena vs. The Game for the strap. Angle vs. Rey vs. Orton for the World strap.
Wrestlemania 23 – Cena vs. HBK for the strap. Batista vs. Undertaker, the strap vs. the streak. Hair vs. Hair with Trump & Vince, and ECW invades Wrestlemania for the first time ever.
And last year in Orlando, Wrestlemania 24. Flair vs. HBK. Orton vs. The Game vs. Cena. Edge vs. Taker, streak vs. strap. And Floyd Mayweather, even though I hated it, he did put on a show.
Now, let’s go to Houston.
The title matches were OK. Hell, seeing Cena hoist up Edge and Show for the beginnings of the Attitude adjustment is impressive as hell, even if we all know there are asterisks galore to go with that feat.
The WWE title match was disappointing at best. The DQ and lose rule for The Game was so not the right stip for that match after the build up they had. It should have been no DQ or no holds barred, minimum.
Keeping the unified tag team title match off of Wrestlemania was an absolute joke. And then, when you keep a title match, a MAJOR title mach off the show, you’re not able to come up with an agreement to show the filler material for what you replaced it with, and we have to go from an amazing money in the bank match to 24 women and 1 moron appearing in the ring in almost thin air.
JBL’s retirement should’ve been done, I thought, in a more grandiose style than the 21 second stunner against Rey, although it does appear after the fact that JBL was OK with the way it went down, and I guess I should be too, if the man was or wants to have his last match remembered with him yelling “I Quit” in the middle of 70,000 strong in Reliant Stadium in Houston.
Is it me, or was it awkward the moment or two between when the Hall of Fame class was introduced, and Austin then snuck back to get his vehicle, and do his typical beer bash? I know this is a knit pick, and not something I’m going to linger on, but hey, it did seem a trifle awkward. Austin deserved the chance to do what he did, and I’m glad Vince gave him the opportunity, even if for a brief moment, things looked a little off for the production.
Jericho’s whole charade with the legends was pathetic. Piper and Snuka in a wrestling ring at their ages was abominable. Steamboat, I have to give credit where credit is due, Steamboat showed me a lot, an awful lot through that match, and was by far the tatamount player of that contest. And the sham that was Mickey Rourke allegedly knocking out Chris Jericho after the fact made Jericho look so awfully weak. Don’t we all remember mere months before Wrestlamania 25 how Vince McMahon tore down the movie the Wrestler like it was the second coming of Harvey the Rabbit? Now, we have its star knocking out one of your main event players on the biggest stage of them all. It is truly dispicible that this could go down, and especially, where it indeed went down.
And,. please, for the love of God, DO NOT ASK ME about the Miss Wrestlemania battle royale. I could spew on that for days, and still not be satisfied.
Don’t get me wrong, there were some bright spots in this mess of a production, and there were three that I can count.
First, I thought, even though the four men had to be pissed off beyond belief that their match was removed from the show, I thought the lumberjack match for the unified tag straps was enjoyable. I also have to believe some of the lumberjacks, who were not on the card, had to be pissed off the match wasn’t going to be on the PPV, as it would have been their only chance to step in to the spotlight of Wrestlemania, and be able to soak in the experience. But, I guess Vince McMahon wants to give that precious airtime to Kid Rock, only to not have it shown on the DVD. Don’t give your talent, the men who break bones daily for your company so you can make your millions and billions the shot to be in front of 70,000 strong, give it to a guy who doesn’t need the exposure, and obviously can’t accept the exposure if he wasn’t capable of negotiating an agreement to allow the footage to be shown on the DVD.
I did say the match was good, didn’t I? I thought I was trying to be positive here, but I guess I went the opposite direction.
Money In the Bank had its definite moments, and it was, as always has been, one to remember. Some of the spots during that match are uncanny. Kingston running up that ladder when Henry held it was unreal. Shelton scaling three ladders to get to the top was uncanny. The match was scintillating from bell to bell, it’s all that can be said. I’m stunned Benjamin didn’t bust his neck with the spot he pulled on the floor. Horny gettin’ involved was also incredibly funny, and appropriate, I thought, for that match. It was an atrocity that it was put on first, only to have it reduced in value by this ridiculously inane battle royale, or comedy act that followed it.
But, by far, by a landslide as big as the Grand Canyon, 17 – 0 was the spotlight of this night. Shawn Michaels deserves all the time off he wants, because he put on a show that night. And so did the Dead Man. Both men were unbelievable. That segment of the show nearly was flawless from performance in the ring to announcement in the booth. It was probably the best Undertaker match I have seen in the six Wrestlemanias I own. I would almost say that this match, plus Stone Cold’s Hall of fame induction, is worth the price of the DVD, but that MAY BE pushing it a little, but I guess I can say it is, because me being the hardcore psycho fan that I am, I did go out and buy the DVD, so what the hell, go buy the DVD for this match alone, and tell me if I’m wrong on the other stuff I said, because that’s the bottom line, cause I said.so.
Oh, one last thing, at the Hall of Fame, after Stone Cold was introduced, I never thought I’d say this, but Kelly looked so out of place bringing Austin out. If nothing else, Austin should’ve come out on the truck then, with two beers in his hand, and one middle finger for the fans in the crowd, but hey, I’m just making an opinion.
Ok, let’s move on. Since I’m writing tonight, and Sacrifice is tonight for TNA, let’s pick the matches. I obviously lost the whole pick through the year thing, but hey, life sucks, and then you deal with more bulls*it, and I’ll pick them when I can, and if I can’t, well, c’est la vie.
The Amazing Red vs. Kiyoshi
Two men who will appear to be on the road to ruin in this company unless creative gets something for them in a hurry. I would’ve thought Red teaming with Suicide would’ve been a good start, and I thought Kiyoshi was set up with No Limit and Bashir, but obviously, things change, and so does these two men’s fortunes. This match should be on the card, and not a pre – show match, as I suspect that it would be good to watch. I’ll give the win to Red, because Kiyoshi hasn’t seen much action lately, and I don’t see much of a push coming for the New Japan native known as Akira Raijin. I wonder if he regrets coming to the United States for an extended excursion in TNA.
WINNER: Amazing Red
First ever Knockout Monster’s Ball Match
Daffney vs. Taylor Wilde
What is TNA trying to prove here? I know Daffney is nuts, and there’s no question that this match fits, but let’s be honest here. Roxxi is gone from the company, and Wilde, I do not think, is in Daffney’s league in this type of match. Monster’s Ball matches involves blood, guts, gore, weapons, and chaos. Is TNA really going to allow these two women to do that to themselves? I doubt it. I suspect this will be a major league blunder on the part of TNA creative. Daffney wins in some botched spot.
WINNER: Daffney
The MotorCity Machine Guns & Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Lethal Consequences & Eric Young
Talk about the human ping pong ball. Eric Young gets bounced with Jethro Holliday, handed to Samoa Joe for Joe’s nightly meal of violence, and now is in this six man match with really absolutely no buildup. Nice job, TNA of ruining a talented young wrestler’s career. This’ll be fun because all six can run with the big dogs in a big X Division way, and I hope they are given the chance to shine. I suspect the Guns will win, because they have something on the table with the X Division Champion, so they have more to lose if they’re defeated here.
WINNERS: Shelley, Sabin & Bashir
Team 3D Invitational Tag Team Tournament Finals for $100,000 and a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Championship
Beer Money Inc., vs. The British Invasion
I like this Invasion group. Doug Williams is a monster, I know this from seeing him live in Ring of Honor. Magnus with Williams in his ear can become a talented competitor really quickly. Terry is an imposing figure. However, Roode & Storm are as good as any tag team in the business, and I am guessing TNA will suspect that they’ll get some more good mileage out of a rematch with Beer Money and 3D, because if they didn’t think that, Storm & Roode owuld’ve never made it to this point.
WINNERS: Beer Money, Inc.
Samoa Joe vs. Kevin Nash
What’s to say about this match? Joe’s tactics now are annoying. Violence, sure, no problem. FTW, of course, no problem. But, doing this alone, nuh uh, it don’t work. It’s obvious, Joe’s mystery advisor is Taz, and he needs to debut tonight. Taz comes out, and helps Joe get the dupe over Nash, and brings the Nation of Violence up to the next level. Because if not, it’s just another dumb gimmick with a half life that is fizzling out faster than the diet soda sitting to my left.
WINNER: Samoa Joe
TNA Knockouts Championship
Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong
On paper, this should be a massacre. All of the Beautiful People have been carted out on stretchers. Kong, even though she can’t be at 100% with all the reported injuries, should be primed to destroy Love with no help from the outside. However, this is probably when something new comes along, and gives Love the one push over the top she needs to retain the gold. I don’t think TNA is ready to put Kong on the top of the female food chain again, at least, not just yet.
WINNER: Angelina Love
TNA X Division Championship
Suicide vs. Daniels
Could this truly be the end of the character from the Impact video game? I doubt it, but hey, if so, it did do its job, I would think. Makes me wanna play the game, even though I haven’t. Daniels is back, and with that, the X Division’s value spikes. Champion or not, this will be a classic. I think Daniels will not win here, but don’t be the least bit surprised if things continue down the road in Orlando on Impact.
WINNER: Suicide
TNA Legends Championship – I Quit Match
AJ Styles vs. Booker T.
The deck is stacked against Styles. Book has the back up. Styles has none. Can AJ outwit Booker, and put a hurting on him to say I quit? My thought, he has to. Booker cannot be champion again at this time, not with the world title in the state of flux that it is. I think it would totally usurp the order of the Mafia, although the main event can do a damn good job of that already. Bottom line, AJ has to be champion longer. He deserves it.
WINNER: AJ Styles
And yes, I’m bias with that pick. Sue me.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match
Mick Foley vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting
I have an old poster of TNA from years ago, where they call themselves “the new wrestling alternative.” Some alternative. Ok, so let’s go over this cluster fu*k of a match’s rules.
Foley gets pinned, he loses the TNA title.
Angle gets pinned, he loses the leadership role of the Mafia.
Jarrett gets pinned, he loses his shares in TNA Wrestling.
Sting gets pinned. he’s done. Retired. Gone.
Well, I don’t care, storyline or not, Jarrett is not getting pinned in this match. If there’s a scenario I see here, more than anything, its Sting pinning Angle, to jab that knife deeper in to Angle’s back, and take control of the Mafia. Question is, if Sting pins Angle, does that mean he’s also TNA World Champion? Is this an elimination match? Is it a double prize? Winning the TNA title back, and getting the “godfather” position in the Mafia? I would have to think so, but it makes the match such a glorified mess that it’s impossible to tell. I guess with this double prize idea on the table, I could see Foley pinning Jarrett to take “full ownership” of TNA, and make Jarrett an employee instead of a partner, or Foley pinning Angle to make Foley the Godfather of the Mafia. I think the one thing that is certain is Jeff is not winning the TNA title tnight. I think either Foley retains, or Sting wins it back. Unfrortunately, I can see one thing most clearly. And that’s Foley pinning Angle to make the Mafia his personal closet full of play things.
WINNER: Mick Foley over Kurt Angle
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