Raw Results – 3/30/09

March 30, 2009
Dallas, TX
Commentators: Michael Cole & Jerry ?The King? Lawler
Report by: Hunter Golden of WrestleView.com

A hearse has pulled into the arena. The Undertaker’s music is playing. The opening credits roll and here we go!

WWE Women’s Champion Melina’s music hit and its time for a….

18 Diva Match

Jillian and Mickie started things off working an arm wringer. Jillian yanked her down by the hair and missed a flipping leg d rop before Mickie hit the thesz press and tagged in Tiffany. Tiffany worked an arm lock before losing it and now being stuck with Beth Phoenix. Phoenix whipped her to the buckle and then hit a big flap jack.

Katie Lea tagged in and she and Tiffany traded blows before Tiffany rolled her up for the shock win.

Winners: The Baby face team

Santino came out wearing a silk women’s robe. He unleashed the ‘Mankini’ on us all, showing us that he’s a way sexier diva than anyone else. He says he wants into the Divas battle royal at Wrestlemania 25.

A video recapping the Orton assault f rom last night.


Chris Jericho v. Jerry ?The King’ Lawler

They locked horns and Lawler pushed him to the corner. They exchanged shoves before Lawler opened up with a flurry of punches. He began shoving Jericho in the corner until during a break in the corner, Jericho was able to hit a cheap shot. Jericho hit some stiff stomps to the face before landing a kick to the gut.

Jericho choked King out on the ropes some before slapping him in the head and hitting a forearm. Jericho laid in with some punches on the mat before jaw jacking with the crowd. Jericho laid a head butt in and some kidney punches in the corner. Lawler reversed an Irish whip and was able to hit a right hand to the gut.

Lawler opened up with a rash of big right hands before Jericho tried to back off and retreated. He pleaded a bit before hitting a cheap shot to the gut and sweeping Lawler’s legs out f rom underneath him and slapped on the Walls of Jericho. Lawler tapped.

Winner: Chris Jericho via pin fall

After the match Jericho went to go beat on Lawler but caught a right hand to the face. Jericho bailed and when Lawler invited him back in to finish the job, Jericho got on the mic and began running down Lawler and the other legends. He said at Wrestlemania, he would relish in putting the legends out of their misery.


Edge wanted to talk to John Cena alone. He said if they didn’t get on the same page, they’d be in big trouble on Sunday v. the Big Show. Cena said everything Edge was saying made sense, but he didn’t like Edge and he doesn’t trust him. He said he’d rather lose than win with Edge’s help.

Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase cut a promo about the address f rom Randy Orton later tonight. They said what Orton would say would change the WWE forever.

A coffin was pulled out of the hearse it opened up and Shawn Michaels popped up.


Rey Mysterio v. JBL

JBL came running in with a big clubbing blow and began chasing Mysterio around the ring before laying him out with a forearm to the face. JBL whipped Rey to the ropes but Rey reversed it and came back with a hurricanranna. He set up for a 619, only for JBL to turn around and level him with a shoulder block. Rey came rebounding again and looked for a springboard variation of something, and JBL crushed him with a front kick out of mid air.


We came back to JBL sending Rey out to the ringside area. He followed Rey to the outside and hit a big boot to the side of the skull. He went for a pin in the middle of the ring that Rey kicked out of. JBL kept on stalking Rey around the ring, laying in some stiff shots once they ended up in the corner. JBL perched him on the top rope.

Rey hopped off and hit another hurricanranna and a d rop kick to the legs. JBL fell into the ropes and he went for 619 for a second time and again, JBL avoided it. He looked for the big boot, but Rey dodged it this time and was able to d rop JBL back into the ropes. He connected with the 619 and hit the splash for the win.

Winner: Rey Mysterio via pin fall


Big Show v. John Cena

Big Show tossed Cena across the ring like he was garbage to start things off before nailing some huge right hands in the chest and chopping Cena across the chest. He stood on Cena for a little while before hitting a big clubbing blow to the back before blowing Cena’s head off with a head-butt.

He walked across Cena before setting him up in the ropes and hitting some kidney shots. Show kept up the beating with a fantastic back body d rop and a head butt that sent Cena legs playing and all into the corner. Cena finally got an opening after show missed an avalanche attempt but was hot shotted high up into the air and to the mat.

Show walked over Cena before scaling the ropes. Show looked for a Vader bomb, but again, no one was home. Cena hit his top rope leg d rop and looked for an STFU but Big Show’s leg was too big, and Cena took too long trying to lift it and was swatted back. Show d rop kicked him to the floor as we headed to break.


Cena tried to struggle out of a modified camel clutch, but Show easily kept him at bay before standing on his ribs and THEN his neck. Jeez. Show stood on Cena’s lower back and then signaled for the big choke slam. Cena countered with a DDT and went for the STFU, but Big Show is too big. Cena kept on trying for it, only for Big Show to elbow him. Show went for a choke slam, but Cena fought out and went for an FU, but his back, which had been stepped on to no end, gave out and he couldn’t make the lift. Show quickly capitalized and buried Cena with a choke slam.

Winner: Big Show via pin fall

After the match, Edge jumped into the ring to beat down Cena and try to take out one of his opponents.


HBK is in the ring with a casket. He said he was unafraid of. He said in Taker’s whole career, there was one thing he couldn’t accomplish, and that was defeat him. He said Sunday would be another day. He said over the past few weeks he’s super kicked him in the face, stomped on his hallowed graves and this past Friday Night on Smackdown, he proved his light would outshine his darkness. He said he did it all without the slightest bit of consequence, without a hint of retribution.

Michaels said he took the fact that Taker didn’t think he could end his undefeated streak as a personal insult. He said every moment over the past 24 years would pale in comparison to what he achieved. He said people would be talking about titles and everything else, but the one thing they’d be talking about more than anything else, it would be when Shawn Michaels pinned the Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

The lights went out and when they came back up, Taker was there, but Shawn wasn’t. Taker tore the set apart. Michaels popped out f rom underneath the casket and super kicked Taker and gave him some DX chops. The announcers put over how Michaels was now inside Taker’s head.


A promo putting over Steve Austin in the Hall of Fame aired.

Michael Cole & King ran down the Wrestlemania card.


A video putting over the Matt Hardy v. Jeff Hardy match ran.

8 Man Battle Royal
Christian v. Shelton Benjamin v. CM Punk v. Mark Henry v. Kane v. Finlay v. Kofi Kingston v. MVP

Order of Elimination:

1.)Mark Henry (by Christian & Finlay)
2.)Finlay (by Mark Henry)
3.)MVP & Shelton Benjamin (by Kane)
4.)Kofi Kingston (by Kane)
5.)Christian and CM Punk (by Kane)

Winner: Kane

Kane climbed the ladder and grabbed the brief case.

Randy Orton has an announcement that will change the WWE universe forever. He’s on his way to the ring with the Legacy and security.


Randy Orton made his way to the ring slowly.

Orton put over his history with Triple H. He put over the Evolution assault and the Rumble. He went on to say that IED was all a sham. That he knew what he was doing. He attacked Triple H ‘s family because he knew Triple H would retaliate. And Retaliate he did, but breaking into his house. Orton said that’s what he wanted because he wanted Triple H to feel confident about himself so he could take Stephanie, DDT her and seal it with a kiss. He also made sure the match would have a stipulation that if Triple H got DQ’d or counted out, he would lose the title. He said his plot was to take everything away f rom Triple H that Triple H had tried to take away f rom him in the past and cement his spot at the top of the WWE forever.

A limo pulled up and when they went back to the camera shot of it, both doors were open and it was empty. Orton called his security and Orton and Rhodes to the ring….

Mr. McMahon’s music hit and he came out to the stage, removed his jacket and pulled up his sleeves. He pointed to the back and Shane McMahon’s music hit and he came out to the ramp and stood side by side with his father. They both pointed to the back and Triple H’s music came out and he stood between them. The crowd was MOLTEN hot for the big stare down.

The McMahons rushed through security.. Vince and Shane took out Cody and Ted while Triple H and Orton scuffled as the show went off the air. Talk about showdown at the O.K. Coral.


Show Thoughts— Well that’s how you go home to a big show.

It might have been the best episode of the year as there really wasn’t a whole heck of a lot lacking here. The angles were great and the matches were either A.) awesome or B.) Monstrously preposterous, which is usually cool.

The image of the McMahon family loading up the guns (rolling up the sleeves) to take on the Legacy and the Legacy’s eagerness to engage really just made that whole segment so fantastically incredible. Really, after last week, I was nervous they’d try to do much with this week’s angle and really, I’m glad they did. Because I felt like they delivered just as well as they did last year. It had a serious Freebirds-Von Erichs vibe to it, which is totally appropriate for the Texas crowd. Really though, there’s not much more you can do to get people to buy a pay per view.

The other huge highlight was probably the Cena-Big Show match, which might have been good enough to sell the triple threat match. Cena’s selling is hands down better than anyone else’s at wrestling. He sold a tail bone injury. He struggled picking up Big Show’s leg for the STFU. He reached and struggled to even get to Show’s head in the hold. I mean at this point, are we really STILL having the debate that this dude is a bad wrestler? And that’s not to take away anything f rom Big Show. His punch based offense is awesome. He had something new to smash every control segment. Also considering they’ve worked a match like this and still made things feel different and cool. Well that’s cool in and of itself.

Even the Rey-JBL and Jericho-Lawler matches, though short, were solidly simple and fun in execution. The only match that wasn’t that ‘good’ per sae was the 18-Divas tag team match. However, that ended up being a visual spectacle in and of itself and well, of course, Santino. By the way, does it REALLY get any better than asking Jack Tunney for matchmaking advise? I mean really?

The Michaels-Undertaker build has been interesting in the sense that its more or less turned the traditional Taker/Wrestlemania build on its head in a way. Rather than mostly being about other people climbing the mountain of the Undertaker, its now Undertaker climbing the mountain. I think most will genuinely buy into Michaels potentially having a chance here, which is cool.

Overall though, this was a super strong go home show when the company really needed one. That coupled with the draft will make this a very interesting next few weeks!

Overall Grade: A

Quick Results
The baby face divas def. The heel divas in an 18-Diva tag team match
Chris Jericho def. Jerry Lawler
Rey Mysterio def. JBL
Big Show def. John Cena
Kane won the Money in the Bank battle royal

Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?

Biggest Pops
1. Triple H & The McMahons
2. The Undertaker
3. Shawn Michaels
4. John Cena

Most Heat
1. Randy Orton
2. Chris Jericho
3. JBL
4. Edge

Match of the Night: The Big Show v. John Cena ***3/4

Power Rankings

4 Points= World Title defense/win
3 Points= Singles PPV Win
2 Points= Tag PPV Win
2 Points= TV Singles Win
1 Point= TV Tag Win
0 Points= Loss

Intercontinental Champion: JBL 1-5, 4 points (Last Week: IC Champion)- – Not really sure where they’re going with JBL, but either way, I’m looking forward to this match.

1. Randy Orton 4-2-1, 9 pts. (Last Week: 1)— Really, there isn’t much they could’ve done to make the last two weeks of this any better. That ending segment ruled it.

2. Shawn Michaels 6-2, 10 pts. (Last Week: 2) — They really turned this program on it’s head quite literally with Michaels now being the mountain that Taker has to climb as opposed to Taker usually being the one man mountain. It should be interesting to see just how bad the beating is at Wrestlemania.

3. John Cena 5-5-1, 12 points. (Last Week: 3)— John Cena sells other people offense better than anyone else in the business. He sold a tail bone tonight. A tail bone.

4. Chris Jericho 3-4 5 pts. (Last Week: 5)— Man, a really fun older school match tonight. Lawler’s selling is bat crazy amazing and Jericho’s offense looked so much better. His whole cower and then smash the legs out f rom under a 50-something year old man and then bend his old, aging, creeky back. I can’t wait for the “I hate old people tour” to continue at Wrestlemania. Me, i’d book a rascal drag race between Snuka and Piper to see who can get to the ring faster.

5. Rey Mysterio 8-5, 15 Points (Last Week: 4) — I know a lot of people probably were a little tepid on an actual WM match being given away on free TV, but I really just never cared about that stuff much. Its not a headlining match and its not like it’ll hurt anything. They laid out a really good, really basic story outline they’ll really be able to expand upon come Sunday.

6. Kane 5-5, 7 Points (Last Week: 7) — Kane’s been getting the hard put over a lot in this MITB program which is kind of odd, because they’ve never taken that approach before. That usually spells defeat, but if they’re looking for a dude to have LOSE their title shot, he’d be a good guy to use.

7. CM Punk 6-5, 11 Points (Last Week: 6)— Another quiet night for Punker. The more I see him and Christian in the ring together, the more I want them to punch each other in the face and have a match.

8. Kofi Kingston 4-3, 6 points (Last Week: 8) — Pretty quiet week for Kofi. Nothing nutty or high-spotish, but I’m sure we’ll see tons of that this weekend.

9. Cody Rhodes 4-1, 4 points (Last Week: 9) — Cody & Ted have totally turned into Dick Slater and Bob Orton Jr to Harley Race circa 1983. They’ve been perfect bumping blocking pads for Orton so far.

10.Ted Dibiase, Jr. 3-0-1, 3 Points (Last Week: 10)— See Cody.

Mike Knox 3-3 4 points (Last Week: NR)
William Regal, 3-5, 4 points (Last Week: NR )
Batista 0-0, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)
Santino Marella 0-2, 0 points (Last Week:NR)
Sim Snuka 1-0, 1 Point (Last Week: NR)
JTG 2-4, 2 points (Last Week: NR)
Big Shaad 2-3 2 points (Last Week: NR)
Jamie Noble 0-2, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)
Charlie Haas 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Dolph Ziggler 0-3, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jerry Lawler 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Jim Duggan 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)