Are you getting your GTL on and shouting “Woo Woo Woo You Know It” because RAW is in Zack Ryder’s hometown? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it is time for Monday Night RAW!!!
Randy Orton makes his way down to the ring to kick off the show. He holds his Title in the air and celebrates his Championship with the crowd. Orton says that there is no one who could beat him for the Title. But, if he were to lose it, he would accept the fact. However, he cannot accept the loss if it is because of a crooked referee. Especially if that crooked referee is John Cena.
Cena’s music hits, and he makes his way down to the ring. Cena implores Orton to cut him some slack. If Wade wins the Title, Cena is free of Nexus, but if Wade loses, Cena will be fired. Cena says that he is supposed to be objective as the referee, but sometimes things happens. Cena just doesn’t know if he will be able to count the three and lose his job. Cena says that he is either free or he is fired, and he doesn’t know what he is going to do.
Orton takes that as proof that Cena will screw him. Cena tries to argue, but Orton cuts him off. Orton tells him to not go on talking about hustle, loyalty and respect. Especially not when his every order comes from Wade. Cena counters that he doesn’t want to do everything that he is doing, but he has no choice. Cena says that Nexus basically runs the show, so what is he to do?
Nexus’ music hits and they stand as a unit on the entrance ramp. Wade has the mic and thanks Cena for all of the kind words. Actually, he gives Cena the rope to say whatever he wants to about him, because the only things that matters are actions. At Survivor Series, Barrett will have his hand raised in victory.
Cena says that in three weeks, it will all be over. Cena will either leave Nexus, or be forced to leave the WWE. Cena promises that either way, he will leave Barrett a parting gift. Cena will beat the hell out of him. Orton says that at the PPV, he will beat on Wade until he loses the match. Wade starts to head down to the ring.
And I quote…
Randy Orton, as the WWE Champion I feel for the position you are in. You want to know what Cena is going to do, we all want to know. So I think we should find out tonight. In tonight’s main event it will be Wade Barrett and a partner of his choice, and Randy Orton with a partner of his choice. The special guest referee will be John Cena.
Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater v. The Hart Dynasty
Natalya is not with the Harts tonight. Tyson and Slater start things off. Arm drag from Tyson into a quick tag. Smith kicks Slater in the arm, wrenches it around, and hits a shoulder thrust followed by a neck breaker. Quick knee drop and then elbow which leads Smith to lift Heath high into the air for a vertical suplex. Cover attempt, but Slater kicks out.
Slater gets a blind tag from Justin. Slater dodges a clothesline, and Justin comes into the match. Gabriel starts to kick Smith, and sends him towards the corner. Slater gets the tag, and continues to work the neck region of Smith. Gabriel pulls him into the middle of the ring for a headlock. Gabriel punches Smith in the head and heads for the ropes. Gabriel bounces back, but gets hit with a scoop slam.
Kidd gets the tag, and runs his way into the ring. Tyson hits a spinning fisherman suplex and goes for the pin. Slater breaks the cover. Smith comes in to help, and throws Slater outside of the ring. Smith follows after, but finds his kick countered. Tyson leaps out of the ring with a plancha, but hits Smith! Kidd tries to apologize and rolls back into the ring. Gabriel kicks him in the gut, and then knocks him to the mat. Gabriel heads up the turnbuckle and is ready to end this match. Gabriel leaps for a beautiful 450 Splash, and this match is over!
Winners via 450 Splash: Nexus
After the match, there is much arguing between The Hart Dynasty.
In the back, Cena is in his locker room. R-Truth comes into the shot and tells Cena that tonight he has got buck. Truth says that he told Barrett what will happen at the PPV, so tonight Cena should do the right thing. Truth asks him what he will do when the moment of truth arrives. Cena turns his back on his friend and leaves without answering.
Sheamus’ music hits and he comes down to the ring. Sheamus says that while the crowd may think he is coming out to throw a temper tantrum, but in fact he is not. He claims that Santino did not beat him last night, rather he beat himself. Tonight, he wants Santino to come out and face him.
Santino’s music immediately hits, and he makes his way onto the ramp. Santino is in street gear, and says that he is a big fan of Sheamus. Santino claims that he dressed as Sheamus for Halloween. The problem was that people thought he was a ghost. It was actually quite frustrating. Santino says that he ate far too much candy last night after trick or treating, so he can’t wrestle Sheamus tonight. If he did, he would probably throw up right in Sheamus’ face.
Santino says that he did find Sheamus a suitable replacement… Kozlov!
Kozlov comes down the ramp and takes the mic from Santino. He says that Sheamus talks funny, and says that he is going to crush him.
Sheamus v. Kozlov w/ Santino
Kozlov pushes Sheamus into the corner. Sheamus comes out but finds his leg grasped. Kozlov bounces off the ropes and hits a knee to the gut. Kozlov grabs the head of Sheamus and heads down to the mat. Sheamus is able to power his way to a vertical base and backs Kozlov into the cover. Sheamus pulls him out and hits an inverted neckbreaker. Cover attempt, but Kozlov kicks out.
Sheamus drops a series of knees to the skull of Kozlov. Kozlov gets right to his feet and hits a couple of head butts. Cover attempt, but Sheamus kicks out. Sheamus manages to hit a clothesline, and then follows up with the Brog kick. This match is over.
After the match, Santino runs into the ring to check on Kozlov. He quickly changes his mind, and begins to exit. Sheamus follows after. Santino takes out his wallet and attempts to bribe Sheamus, a la Drew Carey and Kane. Sheamus takes the money and throws it to the ground. He does the same with Santino’s credit card. Santino takes out a check, thinking that will solve his problem.
Sheamus grabs him and by now they have arrived at the top of the entrance ramp. Sheamus kicks him in the gut, and then lifts him into the air for the high cross. John Morrison runs out to make the save! Morrison kicks Sheamus off the stage. Santino celebrates with a pantomime trombone.
R-Truth is in the back talking to Orton. He warns Orton that in three weeks Cena will do whatever it takes to keep his job. Orton says that tonight Truth will be his partner in the main event. If Cena doesn’t treat him well, it will be proof that Cena’s friendship holds no value.
Pee Wee Herman is in the back with Mark Henry. Henry says that he needs a tag partner. Herman volunteers himself. Henry says that Herman is his idol, and is just the man to give him a big hug. Pee Wee says he knows what will cheer up Henry… Diva Twister!
The Divas come in, and well, they play Twister with Pee Wee Herman. Herman says that he is taking a break from his Broadway production to take over RAW tonight. He says there will be all kinds of twists and turns, including… Lita!
Lita walks out and gives Herman a big hug. He asks if she wants to play Twister. Clearly, she does, and she pushes over the rest of the divas. Lita and Pee Wee share a laugh.
Zack Ryder v. Ezekiel Jackson
Poor Zack Ryder never had a chance. He gets hit with two huge clotheslines, followed by a ridiculous overhead drop. Ryder tries to get up, but gets mauled by a one armed Rock Bottom. This match is over.
Winner via Rock Bottom v2010: Ezekiel Jackson
Pee Wee Herman makes his way down to the ring. He thanks the crowd. He says that he is totally feeling RAW. Pee Wee introduces the concept of a “secret word” from his show. Herman explains what to do if someone says the secret word. Tonight’s word… ring! He says that for the rest of the night whenever says the secret word, the crowd needs to scream really loud. Herman says that it is so awesome to be here tonight, and he feels like a million dollars.
The Miz’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring with Alex Riley. Herman is shocked by the appearance and looks scared. Herman tries to go for a handshake, but gets denied. Miz says that he thoughts RAW losing at Bragging Rights was the lowest point in the WWE’s history, but he was wrong. Miz tells Herman to get out of the ring.
Riley laughs and says that Miz said the secret word. Miz says that he doesn’t care and just wants Pee Wee out of the ring.
Miz calls Herman puny, to which Herman replies “I know you are, but what am I”. Vintage Herman. Pee Wee then begins to go back and forth repeating what Riley and Miz are saying. (I honestly can’t do this segment justice, please go youtube it or something similar). Pee Wee says that his cousin is here tonight, and is going to come out and beat up the Miz.
The Big Show’s music hits and he comes down to the ring wearing a Pee Wee outfit, and clears out Miz and Riley. Pee Wee jumps up and into the arms of his “cousin”
And I quote…
The Miz will face The Big Pee Wee, up next!
The Miz w/ Alex Riley v. The Big Show
Miz gets caught with a couple of clotheslines, and then slides out of the ring to catch his breath. Miz reenters and tries to speed his way around Show. It fails, and he finds himself tossed across the ring. Big Show sets him up against the ropes and hits a deafening chop. Now on his knees, Miz gets hit with a knee to the gut. Show steps directly on the face of Miz.
Miz is sent bouncing into the corner and kicks the Show. He continues with a series of stomps, but a follow up attempt gets him kicked in the gut, and then sent to the mat with a scoop slam. Show hits a dropped elbow and goes for the cover. Miz kicks out.
Miz gets to his feet and starts to work the head of Show. He pummels him, and then tries for another dropkick to the knee. This time it connects. Miz gets behind Show and locks on a headlock. Big Show manages to power his way to his feet. At which point he simply falls backward and crushes Miz.
Show pulls Miz to the corner and heads up to the second rope. Show leaps and goes for a splash. Miz rolls out of the way, and then goes for a quick cover. Show kicks out before one. Miz connects with a couple of kicks to the face, and then heads up to the top turnbuckle. Miz hits an axe handle, and then heads to the corner again. Another axe handle, and Miz goes up once again! Again it connects, and Miz goes for the cover. Big Show kicks out.
Miz works back to the headlock. Show flips him over, and follows up with consecutive clotheslines followed by a back body drop. Show goes for a splash, but Miz moves out of the way. Riley jumps on the apron to try and distract Big Show. Show knocks him off, but Riley throws the Money in the Bank case into the ring. Miz grabs the case and hits Show with it. The referee sees it and calls for the disqualification.
Winner via DQ: The Big Show
Cena is in the back with Wade. Barrett says that after Cena raises his hand in victory tonight, he wants him to clean his locker room, after which, Cena can scrub his back. Otunga says that it won’t be Wade’s arm raised tonight, it will be his. Otunga says that he has more talented than anybody in Nexus, including Cena.
Tomorrow on NXT Goldust marries his NXT rookie Aksana. Really.
Ted Dibiase w/ Maryse v. Daniel Bryan
Dibiase backs him into the corner, but Bryan flips it around and hits a series of kicks. Dibiase kicks his way free, and knocks Bryan down to the mat. The referee has to pull Dibiase off of Bryan. Ted whips him hard into the turnbuckle. A “Daniel Bryan” chant starts in the crowd. Dibiase clotheslines Daniel to the outside of the ring.
Bryan heads back in, only to get met with the fist of Dibiase and a pin attempt. Bryan kicks out. Dibiase punches the skull of Bryan, and then locks on a headlock. Bryan escapes with an elbow and hits a wrap up pin. Dibiase kicks out. Daniel is whipped into the corner, but flips his way free. Bryan hits a clothesline and then begins to psych himself up. Bryan hits a series of very strong kicks, but then gets caught with a spine buster! Pin attempt, but Bryan kicks out.
Dibiase is setting up for Dream Street and is ready to wrap this match up. Daniel counters, directly into the LeBelle lock! This match is over.
Winner via LeBelle Lock: Daniel Bryan
After the match, Dibiase yells to Maryse that he can’t think straight because he doesn’t have his title. He says that tomorrow he is going to go to NXT and break up Goldust’s wedding. Really.
LayCool’s music hits and they come out on the entrance ramp. They feel bad because they feel like the WWE audience doesn’t like them. They say that they got off on the wrong foot, but actually they are quite compassionate and flawless. They call Natalya special, and say that they are going to give Natalya another shot at the Title, providing she can defeat Michelle tonight.
Natalya v. Michelle McCool w/ Layla
McCool takes Natalya to the mat with a body scissors hold. Natalya follows up with a brutal wheelbarrow slam. Natalya dodges an elbow, but gets pulled off the second turnbuckle. Cover attempt, but Natalya kicks out. Michelle stomps on the back of Natalya, and then grabs her by the hair. Michelle turns Natalya on her back and kicks her in the stomach. Cover attempt, but Natalya kicks out.
Michelle goes back to the body scissors submission. I’d pay money to see her put Tiffany in that. (Can I say that?). Natalya is whipped into the ropes and is caught with a bridged suplex. Pin attempt, but Natalya kicks out. Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter. Michelle is able to escape the ring, but Natalya follows right after. Natalya punches Layla and then heads back into the ring. Michelle tries to kick her, but accidentally kicks Layla instead! Natalya gets the quick roll up and this match is over.
Winner via Roll Up: Natalya
Freddy Prinze Jr. is in a doctors costume. He says that his patient has been in a coma for months, and is going to miss the “election”. The camera pans down and shows that his patient is Vince McMahon!!!
We are back and Vince is still in a coma. Freddy mentions that even though he doesn’t have many visitors, at least his wife visits daily. Freddy says that he admires Linda for making time, even though she has already spent $50 million to run for Senate. The heart monitor starts to beep at an accelerated pace. Vince awakens!
Vince is a little taken aback by the expenditure. He pulls his blanket down to see that he has been plastered by Linda for Senate bumpers. He asks if at least the WWE is under control. Prince breaks it to him that Nexus is running wild with John Cena in their ranks, The Undertaker was buried alive, Goldust is getting married and Daniel Bryan is the US Champion. Vince seems to be taking the news pretty hard. McMahon gets to his feet and says that he has to go to the bathroom, but isn’t sure if he can hold it. Vince pauses, and states that if his wife can run for Senate, maybe he can run for President of the United States! Vince then continues his potty dance, signaling that he might not make it to the bathroom in order to evacuate his bowels. Vince waddles away with a Blumenthal sign hanging across his buttocks.
Best. Hospital Skit. Ever.
Stephanie McMahon wakes up from bed, and says she had the weirdest dream. She asks her husband (HHH) if her dad is still in a coma. HHH says yeah, we are pretty sure he is brain dead. Reassured, Stephanie rolls back over.
Randy Orton & R-Truth v. Wade Barrett & David Otunga
Otunga and Orton start things off first. Orton is able to knock him to the mat, so Otunga chooses to tag in Wade. Wade comes into the ring and tries for a quick cover. Orton kicks out. Otunga is once again tagged into the match. Orton hits a scoop slam, and Otunga rolls to the outside. Orton follows after and tries to whip David into the steel steps, but counters and it is Orton that goes careening into the steel. Otunga rolls him back into the ring and goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out.
Wade gets the tag. He pounces on Orton and hits a series of fists. Wade applies the headlock. Orton is able to get to his feet and hit a side slam. Both men tag in their partners. Truth knocks down Otunga and then hits him with a huge arm drag. Truth cartwheels away from a clothesline, and hits a spinning wheelkick! Cover attempt, but Otunga kicks out.
Wade gets the tag, and hits a quick slam. Cover attempt, but Truth kicks out. Wade lifts Truth to his feet, and punches him in the face. Truth bounces out of the corner, and gets hit with a backbreaker. Wade heads all the way up to the second rope, and leaps for an ~EPIC~ elbow. He misses.
Otunga tries to come into the ring, but Cena stops him because he didn’t see the tag. With his back turned, Truth gets the tag. Cena then grabs Orton and keeps him out of the ring because he didn’t see the tag! This allows Wade to pull Truth towards his corner and legitimately tag in Otunga. Truth is able to spin his way to his feet and runs towards the ropes. Truth leaps for a crossbody, but so does Otunga! Both men are stranded on their backs.
Orton runs into the ring, but Cena holds him back because there was no tag. Otunga tags in Wade, but Cena doesn’t see it, so he forces him to leave the ring. While his back is turned, Orton hits the RKO on Otunga! Randy punches Wade and then goes for the cover. This match is over!
Winners via RKO: Randy Orton & R-Truth
After the match, Wade and Cena argue. Orton and Wade stare each other down to close the show.
Best. Hospital Skit. Ever.
Every now and then the WWE has a segment that just really makes me laugh and love wrestling. Tonight, it was the hospital skit with Vince & Freddy Prince Jr.. I was anticipating how they might reference the election, and I think they did it in the perfect light hearted way. Whoever wrote that skit deserves a gold star for sheer awesomeness.
Cena got a lot of heat to start the show. Just the mentioning of his name by Orton elicited a chorus of boos, but when Cena actually appeared the reaction was mixed. The crowd is just not quite ready to commit to the thought of their hero as a villain.
The Hart/Nexus match was decent. I’m usually a supporter of David Hart Smith, but for some reason he just seemed really sloppy and/or out of it tonight. Tyson was awesome as usual, and I’m not just saying that because he wished me a Happy Birthday (thank you by the way). I’m confused as to what the point of the match was tonight, because I thought they had already laid most the foundation for the split. On a similar note, where was Natalya during the match?
Santino and John Morrison could work for me. I guess there was just nowhere else to go with Santino and Kozlov. They kind of reached a plateau.
Pee Wee’s humor is so old school. I’m glad I decided to brush up on my Pee Wee Herman before tonight’s show. The jokes made sense, because it’s the type of gimmicks he is known for having. Granted, it seems strange at face value, but that’s part of the mystique.
Lita’s appearance was a nice surprise. It’s refreshing for someone like me who tends to have at least an idea of wrestling happenings to be able to be pleasantly surprised.
Poor Zack Ryder. The hometown curse is still going strong in the WWE. I will say that at least I got to hear a portion of his song this week! Way to go WWE.
Forget the John Cena movie, Legendary now describes the Pee Wee Herman/Miz/Big Show segment. It was absolutely fantastic!
David Otunga’s character is such a mystery. Where the hell are they going with it?
I had a couple of readers suggest that at Survivor Series, Wade will win the match and then Cena will beat him to a pulp. That leaves the door open for Miz to come out and cash in his case. It’s very plausible and I will not be surprised if it happens.
Pretty standard match from Bryan and Dibiase. I’m excited that we have a wedding angle again, well in a sick kind of way. NXT might actually be awesome this week. I can’t wait to hear the commentary during the festivities. Josh & Cole are really doing great work on the show.
The main event was an artfully crafted match. It excelled at telling a story, got the guys over, and kept the crowd involved. Well done.
All in all, just an awesome RAW. I’m strongly opposed to giving grades and ratings, so let me just say that tonight deserves full marks from those that do that kind of thing. Thanks for the entertainment tonight WWE!
I do read every single e-mail you guys send, and really appreciate hearing your thoughts. Send me some e-mails, and have a safe week everyone!
– David Stephens
Follow me on Twitter! @davewrestleview
So that’s RAW…. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I’m always up for reading your thoughts and do my absolute best to reply to every message I get. Send them over to me at email@example.com. (there were a lot of great ones that I didn’t get a chance to respond to this past week, and I hope to reply to them this week so sorry if you were one of them!)
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