CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas – Dennis Miller fancies himself a man of many talents: Comedian, actor, sports analyst and political commentator. Nothing, however, could have prepared the effusive entertainer for his latest honor, that of Raw’s special guest host during the 2009 Slammy Awards.

John Cena def. Randy Orton to win WWE Superstar of the Year
Only 24 hours since the sting of relinquishing his WWE Championship to Sheamus at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs, John Cena seemed determined to ease the pain by claiming The Slammy Award for WWE Superstar of the Year. The hurdle standing in his way? Randy Orton.

Having faced The Viper many times, Cena was familiar with the sly slither of his opponent. Armed with a familiarity of Orton, the former WWE Champ managed to counter a series of lethal maneuvers and clinch the victory with a devastating Attitude Adjustment.

Johnny Damon to serve as next week’s Raw special guest host
Coming off an incredible World Series victory with the New York Yankees, center fielder Johnny Damon will attempt to knock it out of the park next week when he stops by Raw to serve as special guest host.

Michael Cole vomiting on Chris Jericho at SmackDown’s 10th Anniversary won the Slammy Award for ?Oh My? Moment of the Year
Usually, accolades aren?t bestowed upon anyone for tossing their cookies. Well, the Slammy Awards are anything but usual. To prove that point, Michael Cole vomiting on Chris Jericho at SmackDown’s 10th Anniversary took home the Slammy Award for ?Oh My? Moment of the Year.

Mickie James won 7-on-7 Divas Tag Match for her team; Maria won the Slammy Award for Diva of the Year
What would an awards show be without a bevy of beauties in gorgeous gowns? To remedy a lack of lovelies, a bevy of Divas competed in a 7-on-7 Divas Tag Match, including Mickie James, Divas Champion Melina, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Brie and Nikki Bella & Maria against Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Maryse, Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendes. When the sequins settled, it was Mickie who won the match for her team by pinning Rosa.

Afterward, the Diva of the Year Slammy Award was bestowed upon the sexy, smart and powerful woman who won the most votes exclusively on Your 2009 Slammy Award-winning Diva of the Year? None other than Maria!

John Morrison, Mark Henry & Yoshi Tatsu def. United States Champion The Miz, Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre & Zach Ryder
Drew McIntyre’s eye-gouging the night before at WWE: TLC looked about as appealing as a dish of haggis. That didn?t stop the Scottish sensation, however, from capturing the Intercontinental Championship from John Morrison. One day later, McIntyre joined United States Champion The Miz & Zach Ryder against Morrison, Mark Henry & Yoshi Tatsu. While the championships were on one side, determination tipped the balance as Tatsu leveled Ryder for the victory.

Jeff Hardy at SummerSlam won the Slammy Award for Most Extreme Moment of the Year
It didn?t seem real at the time. How could it possibly be? Jeff Hardy stood poised atop a 20-ft. ladder, his arms spread wide as an arena full of WWE faithful held their collective breath. Then it happened. He leaped from his precarious perch, tumbled through the air and nailed CM Punk with a brutal Swanton Bomb at SummerSlam. Result: Hardy’s moment captured the Slammy Award for Most Extreme Moment of the Year.

Accepting on his brother’s behalf was Matt Hardy. Presenter Carlito interrupted the moment by punching Matt, but then got his comeuppance. Chris Masters snapped on The Masterlock and Matt returned the punch.

Chris Jericho & Big Show def. Unified Tag Team Champions DX by disqualification
Brawn, brains and a wicked sense of humor. You have to hand it to DX, the new Unified Tag Team Champions come prepared. After capturing the Unified Tag Team Titles last night, Triple H & Shawn Michaels probably expected Jeri-Show to enact their rematch clause. As a result, The Game appeared to purposefully shove the referee causing DX to lose by disqualification.

Since championships cannot change hands due to disqualification, DX retained. But that was only the beginning of Chris Jericho’s troubles. The self-important Superstar soon realized that DX’s actions meant that he no longer had reason to be on Raw. As a result, the Unified Tag Team Champions called some fellow Superstars to escort Jericho out of the arena. So long, Captain Vocabulary!

Bob Barker won the Slammy Award for Raw Guest Host of the Year
Bob Barker, come on down, you?re the winner of the Slammy Award for Raw Guest Host of the Year! The venerable game show host animal advocate proved that he could match wits and muscle with more than a few Superstars when he hosted Raw, which earned him a coveted golden Slammy statuette.

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker won the Slammy Award for Match of the Year; Randy Orton def. The Deadman
For the second year running, Shawn Michaels has taken home one of the highest honors in WWE, the Slammy Award for Match of the Year. While HBK earned last year’s Slammy for his legendary victory over Ric Flair in a Win or Retire Match at WrestleMania XXIV, this year, Michaels repeats for the much ballyhooed bout he lost at The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania to The Undertaker. During his acceptance speech, HBK even went so far as to challenge The Phenom to a match at WrestleMania “one more time.”

The Deadman may have claimed victory over Michaels in April, but tonight he faced a much more sinister foe, Randy Orton. The Viper utilized his Legacy henchmen, Cody Rhodes & Randy Orton, to lure Undertaker from the ring. Once outside the ring, The Phenom proved susceptible to count-out and dropped his match as a result.

None too pleased, the World Heavyweight Champion proceeded to demolish Rhodes & DiBiase.

CM Punk retiring Jeff Hardy won Shocker of the Year; John Cena def. CM Punk
Despite having captured two World Heavyweight Championships and winning Money in the Bank for the second year in a row, CM Punk described retiring Jeff Hardy after their Steel Cage Match on SmackDown as his finest moment.

While The Straightedge Superstar also promised to prevail as WWE Superstar of the Year, his hopes were dashed in minutes when he met up with John Cena. Perhaps compensating for his loss to Sheamus at WWE: TLC, Cena showcased his considerable strength and skills against the holier-than-thou opponent to move onto the winner of the Undertaker vs. Randy Orton match. Cena then shared his thoughts with the WWE Universe: He will not lose another match before regaining the WWE Title!

Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase def. Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne
What started out as a match between Kofi Kingston and Cody Rhodes quickly devolved into a melee meltdown when Ted DiBiase ran in with Evan Bourne fast on his heels. Before the four could go too far off the reservation, guest host Dennis Miller announced the four in a tag team bout.

Like their Legacy leader, Randy Orton, did the night before, Rhodes and DiBiase wanted to disarm The Dreadlock Dynamo. Rather than hit Kofi directly, though, the pair targeted his aerial ally and scored the win by pinning Bourne.

Sheamus won the Slammy Award for Breakout Star of the Year
Sheamus deserves to be taken seriously, period. That much was clear the night before at WWE: TLC when The Celtic Warrior defeated John Cena in a Tables Match to earn the WWE Championship. That accomplishment alone made the recipient of the night’s next Slammy Award, Breakout Star of the Year, almost a foregone conclusion. When Sheamus was announced the winner, the Irishman boasted that he’s better than a host of Hall of Famers and that Cena will never pry the championship away from him.

Christian, Kane and The Great Khali def. William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson & Vladimir Kozlov
William Regal and his Ruthless Roundtable of Ezekiel Jackson & Vladimir Kozlov have suffered their fair share of tribulations in the past, but the Englishman appeared determined to set aside any differences and take the fight to ECW Champion Christian.

For his part, Christian, who retained his championship in a Ladder Match against Shelton Benjamin the night before, assembled a towering triumvirate of his own, including Kane & The Great Khali. The ECW Champion’s trifecta proved too much for Regal and his goon squad to handle.

Four nominees to battle to determine WWE Superstar of the Year
Tonight will see The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton as well as John Cena vs. CM Punk. The winners of these matches will then face off later in the evening to determine who takes home WWE Superstar of the Year honors.

Chris Jericho & Big Show won the Slammy Award for Tag Team of the Year; Jericho to invoke rematch clause
The evening got off to a bittersweet start for Jeri-Show. Just one night after losing their Unified Tag Team Titles to Triple H & Shawn Michaels at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs, Chris Jericho & Big Show accepted the Slammy Award for Tag Team of the Year. After soaking up accolades, mostly from himself, Jericho informed the WWE Universe that he and The World’s Largest Athlete will invoke their rematch clause against DX tonight.


Show Thoughts– Tonight’s show was a weird one. There was a lot of good, a lot of bad and a lot of just ‘strange?.
For one, the WWE probably pulled its most interesting booking move since AT LEAST the first Edge title switch in 2006 in putting the title on Sheamus, but this just totally lacked follow up. He traipsed around the ramp area, came out, got his award and that was about it. You really figured they try to emphasize him a bit. I dig the whole Cena ?I won?t lose until I win the title back? thing, but without Sheamus kind of rubbing his face in it, it lacks gravitas. So I wasn?t so pleased with that.
On the flip side of things, the wrestler of the year tournament was actually pretty fun and we got three really decent, short matches. Nothing earth shattering, mind you, but something cool. I?d really like to see the WWE toss a big tournament into their annual calendar. There’s just so much you can do with a whole bunch of people and gives us something to fight for away from the belt. Still, I liked the gimmick and though they were short, enjoyed the matches.
The Bret Hart mention will no doubt raise smark radars everywhere, but to be frank, I dunno how interested I?d be in this. There’s a few sides to the proverbial coin. On one hand, I do think there’s genuine potential for Hart to do business with the WWE again in some form. Whether that’s full time or one time, I feel like that potential is there. That being said, if this were a long-term gig, it?d likely be in a capacity where Hart would be doing a lot of talking, which he admits himself, isn?t a strong suit of his. The crowd reacted a bit tepid to his name tonight, and that should be telling of the times. On one hand, you have a lot of the smarks who still obviously hold him in high regard, but you also have others who have no clue who he is. One has to remember, it’s been 12 years since the screw job. In any event, it’s always fun for mindlessly speculate about something that would likely end up pretty mindless.
Speaking of mindlessly AWESOME~, Batista’s Kanye moment and pink shirt was almost enough to save the show for me. If not, then Cole’s reaction to winning an award for throwing up on someone. Also, Mark Henry pretty clearly got the biggest reaction of the night? those East Texas Boys?..
While there was some stuff here and there that pricked up my ears, this wasn?t a very energetic show and it lacked sincere follow through, which is something they sorely needed after a strong outing from Kofi Kingston, the big title switch to Sheamus and other things. I don?t know if they did that. It’s one thing to take a gamble, but you?ve GOT to follow up. I don?t know if the WWE did what they needed to do tonight.

Overall Grade: C

Quick Results
Christian, Kane & The Great Khali def. William Regal, Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson
The baby face Divas def. the Heel Divas
The Legacy def. Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston
John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu & Mark Henry def. The Miz, Zach Ryder & Drew McIntyre
Randy Orton def. The Undertaker
John Cena def. CM Punk
Chris Jericho & Big Show def. DX
John Cena def. Randy Orton

Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?

Biggest Pops
1. Mark Henry
2. Kofi Kingston
3. D-Generation X
4. John Cena

Most Heat
1. Randy Orton
2. Chris Jericho
3. Seamus
4. The Miz

Match of the Night: John Cena vs. Randy Orton, **1/2

Power Rankings

4 Points= World Title defense/win
3 Points= Singles PPV Win
2 Points= Tag PPV Win
2 Points= TV Singles Win
1 Point= TV Tag Win
0 Points= Loss

WWE Champion: Seamus 7-0-0, 14 Points (Last Week: 6) — In perhaps the shock booking of the year, Sheamus knocks off John Cena and wins the WWE title. The big question will be how long this lasts. Still, it quite obviously elevates the kid a good deal.
United States Champion: The Miz 15-13-2, 29 Points (Last Week: US Champion)— Quiet night anchoring a six man tag.
1. Triple H 14-11-4-1, 26 Points (Last Week: 1)– He made some jokes, I guess.
2. Randy Orton 20-20-5, 48 pts. (Last Week: 3)–The decisive win over Kofi vaults Orton back into the #2 spot and within striking distance of another WWE title shot. Whether or not that comes anytime soon is anyone’s guess.
3. Kofi Kingston 27-10-2, 52 points (Last Week: 2)–Had a strong program with Orton and tonight they did little to follow up with him. I was tepid on his performance last night and I?m still skeptical heading forward, ESPECIALLY if they don?t try and keep this momentum up.
4. John Cena 28-18-5, 64 points. (Last Week: WWE Champion) —Rough weekend for Cena, losing the title only to rebound nicely tonight with wins over both CM Punk and Randy Orton. The company needs to stop playing hokie pokie with Cena’s character and decide if they want to bill him as dominant or as a ?comeback? kind of guy.
5. Shawn Michaels (Last Week: 4)–Looks pretty awesome in a snuggie.
6. Big Show 13-20-1, 21 Points (Last Week: 5)— Practically non-existent tonight. His future is going to be interesting.
7. Mark Henry, 18-7, 29 Points (Last Week: 7)— Henry got a pretty big reaction from the hometown crowd tonight, but in general, has been getting a very positive reaction of late. He’s the one guy I?d like to see the company do something with. It took forever for Henry to get good, so you might as well go for it.
8.Cody Rhodes 18-18-3, 24 points (Last Week: 8)–These poor kids. They put in some good work with DX and now are humping mid card tags and doing absolutely nothing of substance.
9. Ted Dibiase, Jr. 15-16-3, 17 Points (Last Week: 9)–See Cody.
10. Jack Swagger, 10-10-2, 18 Points (Last Week: 10) —Not in action.

MVP 17-12-2, 25 Points (Last Week: NR)
Evan Bourne, 8-14, 10 Points (Last Week: NR)
Chris Masters 1-5-1, 1 Point (Last Week: NR)
Santino Marella 5-5, 10 points (Last Week: NR)
Carlito Colon 5-11-1, 7 Points (Last Week: NR)
Primo Colon 4-11-2, 4 Points (Last Week: NR)
Brian Kendrick 1-6-0, 2 Points (Last Week: NR)
Hornswaggle 8-1-0, 11 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jerry Lawler 1-0, 1 points (Last Week: NR)
Festus 1-1-0, 1 Points (Last Week: NR)
Chavo Guerrero 2-21-0, 2 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jamie Noble 0-5, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jim Duggan 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Eugene 0-1-0, 0 Points (Last Week: RELEASED)
Batista 9-4, 18 Points (Last Week: MOVED TO SMACKDOWN)
Matt Hardy 3-8-0, 4 Points (Last Week: TRADED TO SMACKDOWN)
William Regal, 3-10, 4 points (Last Week: TRADED TO ECW )
Goldust 2-1-0, 2 Points (Last Week: TRADED TO ECW)
Kane 7-7, 12 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Mike Knox 3-3 4 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
JTG 2-4, 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Big Shaad 2-3 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Charlie Haas 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Dolph Ziggler 0-3, 0 Points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Rey Mysterio 11-6, 22 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Chris Jericho 6-7 13 pts. DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
JBL 1-6, 4 points (Last Week: 7) RETIRED
Mr. Kennedy 1-0-0, 1 Points (Last Week: RELEASED)
Sim Snuka 1-0, 1 Point (Last Week: RELEASED)

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