Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it’s time for Monday Night RAW!
John Cena’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. Cena says that he has had a lot of matches but win or lose he has come out on RAW and congratulated his opponent and moved on. But what the hell happened?? John Laurinaitis beat him. Cena says that JL has been a selfish power hungry bully. Last night he got a taste of his own medicine. It was great; it was everything that it was supposed to be. But then he ran away and Big Show brought him back. Everything was set for Cena to finish the job so JL would be terminated, but then Show knocked Cena out cold. Cena says he is glad that he humiliated JL because he deserved it and ten times more. What Cena is not glad about is the Big Show deciding to sell out after being fired last week. Cena says that no matter who the next GM was, even the computer, Big Show would have been hired back. But, because of the interference last night, Show has ensured that the People Power garbage continues. This is crap.
The People Power music hits and the gorgeous Eve Torres makes her way out to the ramp. Cena says that Laurinaitis got really hot but he still sucks. Eve introduces John Laurinaitis. He makes his way out onto the ramp on an electric scooter. Eve helps him up and he leans against a crutch. JL says that after the match last night he was rushed to the emergency room. He has several possible injuries. But it’s okay because he proved last night that when he is in the ring he is a fierce competitor. But when he is outside of the ring he is a WWE executive. JL says that he wants the entire roster to know that they cannot lay a finger on him or he will be terminated. Enough about him, it is time to introduce the man that on Saturday he rehired with a generous bonus. It’s the man that Cena will face at the next WWE PPV – The Big Show.
The Big Show’s music hits and he joins his co-conspirators on the entrance ramp. Show knows that Cena would like an explanation for his actions, but he doesn’t deserve it. Show says that last week he was on his knees for JL begging for his job. No one loves the business more than Big Show. He was so upset that he actually found himself crying. Everyone saw the giant crying on worldwide television. Show says that he received no sympathy from anyone. He did what he had to do, what anyone would have done. He now has an iron clad contract and is proud of it. How dare anyone judge him? Show says that he will be judging Cena on June 17th, because there will be No Way Out. Show is going to knock him out.
David Otunga’s music hits and he makes his way out onto the entrance ramp in his ring gear with a microphone. Otunga tells him that his boss beat Cena, so now he is going to beat him. Cena says that he is not in the mood so David should go into the back and watch reruns of Law and Order because if he gets in the ring Cena is going to hurt him. Otunga says so be it, and dedicates this match to John Laurinaitis.
John Cena v. David Otunga
Cena charges at Otunga and the referee backs him off. Otunga slips out of the ring and a fired up Cena tries to follow after. Otunga slips back into the ring to frustrate Cena. Cena gets back in and Otunga heads out. Cena fakes getting out in order to catch up with Otunga. Both men are in the ring and Otunga connects with a couple of punches. Otunga poses for JL which allows Cena to get to his feet and hits a clothesline and shoulder block. Cena lifts Otunga up in the air for the AA and flashes You Can’t See Me to JL. The move connects and Cena locks on the STF! This match is over.
Winner via STF: John Cena
After the match Cena continues to hold on the STF. Curt Hawkins, Tyler Reks, Darren Young & Titus O’Neil hit the ring to attack Cena. Sheamus runs out from the back and bowls over Laurinaitis on his way to the ring. Sheamus and Cena clear the ring, throwing everyone else to the outside. JL gets on the mic and asks what his guys are doing because he did not give them permission to be out here. He sends them to the locker room. JL says that in the name of People Power, Sheamus & Cena will be teaming up in a two on three handicap match. Actually, for the first time on RAW they will be teaming up in a two on three handicap lumberjack match.
Ricardo Rodriguez is introduced in the ring, but Santino’s music hits. He comes down and says that he is sorry to be out here, but Ricardo’s accent is ridiculous. He doesn’t even know how to roll his “r’s”. They get into a back and forth exchanging rolled r’s. Santino ends up knocking him out with the cobra. Santino tells them to hit Alberto Del Rio’s music and does the introduction.
Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler announce that on July 23rd RAW is moving to 3 hours.
Randy Orton v. Alberto Del Rio
They lock up and Rio backs him into the corner. He kicks Orton in the gut but quickly gets reversed. Orton hits a scoop slam and then tries to drop a knee. Rio moves out of the way and punches Orton in the shoulder. Rio tries an arm breaker but Orton counters and unloads on Rio with punches. Orton smiles as Rio falls onto the apron. He sets up for the suspended DDT, but Rio counters and pulls his head down across the top rope.
Back from the break, Rio tries for a cover. Orton kicks out. Rio continues to work on the shoulder and stomps across it. Another cover, but Orton kicks out. Del Rio lock on an arm bar. Orton gets to his feet and punches his way free. Rio kicks him in the shoulder. Orton dodges a baseball slide as Rio flies out of the ring. He gets back into the ring back walks into a couple of punches and a snap scoop slam. Orton sets him up on the apron and connects with the suspended DDT. Orton drops to the mat and begins to pound.
Chris Jericho appears from behind and hits a Code Breaker on Orton! This match is over.
Winner via DQ: Randy Orton
Jericho stands over Orton in the middle of the ring and calls for a microphone. Jericho says that he is the best in the world at what he does. He repeats himself. He asks if Orton understands and repeats himself once again. Orton gets to his feet and walks right into a second Code Breaker. Jericho again screams to ask if Orton understands what he is saying. He again utters that he is the best in the world and looks to exit the ring. Jericho decides against it and reenters. He lifts Orton to his feet and hits a third Code Breaker! Orton is bleeding from his forehead.
# In the back, Daniel Bryan is shown getting ready to call out CM Punk.
Daniel Bryan is in the ring and says that last night a great injustice was done. He throws footage of last night’s PPV in which Punk was tapping to him. He should have become Champion. It’s time for Q & A with Bryan. Did he make Punk tap out? Yes. Should he be WWE Champion? Yes Yes Yes. The only reason that he is not Champion is because of the gross incompetence of one WWE referee, so he demands a rematch.
Punk’s music hits and he says that it was one of the greatest matches of his career, but the fact remains that he beat Bryan 1,2,3. Punk then shows footage of attacking Kane but making it look like it was Punk on Friday Night Smackdown. Kane went after Punk, softening him up for Bryan. Punk shakes his head and says that it was pretty clever. Punk says that it is now his pleasure to introduce Bryan’s opponent for tonight.
Kane’s pyro explodes and he makes way down to the ring. Punk joins in on commentary.
Kane v. Daniel Bryan
The referee rings the bell and Bryan tries to kick Kane. Kane pushes him down and pushes him into the corner. He punches away until the ref backs him off. Bryan is whipped into the corner and hit with a hard splash. Bryan dodges a second splash and connects with a dropkick. Bryan climbs to the top rope, but Kane catches him and tries for a chokeslam. Bryan scurries away and sends Kane to the outside of the ring. Bryan flies out after with a suicide dive. Punk grabs a chair and tries to hit Kane with a steel chair in the vein of Bryan’s actions, but Bryan grabs the chair. Kane gets to his feet and sees Bryan with the chair. He grabs it from him and begins to wail on Bryan. This match is over.
Winner via DQ: Daniel Bryan
Kane rolls Bryan into the ring and follows after. He connects with a chokeslam! Kane lifts Bryan back to his feet and hits a second chokeslam.
Punk gets into the ring, claiming that he wants to check on Bryan and make sure he is okay. Punk locks on the Anaconda Vice! Bryan is furiously tapping.
Christian v. Jinder Mahal
Jinder whips him into the ropes, but Christian gets behind him for a neckbreaker. Christian climbs to the second rope and hits a dropkick. Jinder is on the apron and tosses Christian out of the ring. He rolls him back inside and stomps on his chest. Jinder hits a hiptoss and goes for a cover. Christian kicks out. Back on his feet he springs out of the corner for a sunset flip. Mahal kicks out. Christian is whipped into the ropes but hits a shoulder block. Christian punches him in the face and heads back to the second rope. He hits a spinning European Uppercut and looks for the Killswitch. Mahal reverses and hits a big boot. Christian dodges a Camel Clutch and hits the Killswitch. He heads to the top rope and hits a frog splash! This match is over.
Winner via Frog Splash: Christian
Beth Phoenix v. Kelly Kelly
Layla is watching the match from a monitor in the back. A highlight saw Phoenix nail Kelly in the back of the neck during her cartwheel towards the corner.
Winner via Glam Slam: Beth Phoenix
2 on 3 Handicap Lumber Jack Match
John Cena & Sheamus v. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger & Tensai
Ziggler and Sheamus start things off. They lock up and Sheamus pulls him to the mat in a side headlock. Ziggler pushes him into the ropes and gets hit with a shoulder block. Ziggler gets back to his feet but gets tossed high up into the air for his efforts. Cover, but Ziggler kicks out. Cena gets the tag, as does Swagger. Jack takes Cena down and then takes a moment to gloat. Cena gets back to his feet and hits a hard shoulder block. Tensai gets the tag.
He elbows Cena in the face and then backs him into the corner with shoulder thrusts. Swagger is tagged in and pushes Cena into another corner for a shoulder thrust of his own. Swagger tries for the second rope splash but completely whiffs. Sheamus gets the tag and bowls over Jack. He pushes him into the corner and knees him hard in the chest. Sheamus hits a scoop slam and tries for the cover. Ziggler is tossed to the outside of the ring. The Lumberjacks don’t touch him and Tensai has gained the tag. Sheamus is tossed out of the ring and the lumberjacks try to attack. Sheamus fights them off and makes his way back into the ring. Tensai takes control and drags him to the corner and hits a headbutt. Swagger gets the tag and stomps on Sheamus.
Tensai gets the tag and whips Sheamus into the corner. He headbutts him down to the mat and the referee makes him back away. Swagger gets the tag, but Sheamus punches him in the head. Swagger regains control and tags in Ziggler. He connects with a leg drop and goes for the tag, but Sheamus kicks out. Ziggler locks up Sheamus’ ankle and tags in Swagger. Big Show walks out onto the entrance ramp.
Swagger holds Sheamus down on the mat and then chokes him on the second rope. Ziggler gets in a kick to the head as Swagger distracts the referee. Tensai gets the tag and kicks Sheamus in the gut. Sheamus begins to fight back and Tensai is bleeding from the forehead. Tensai hits a scoop slam and goes for the cover.
Ziggler gets the tag and unloads on Sheamus. Swagger gets the tag and continues the attack in the corner. Sheamus tries to fight back and hits Swagger with a rolling senton! The crowd is hot as Cena runs into the ring at the newly tagged in Ziggler. He hits a huge side slam and signals for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Cena abandons the move as he notices the Lumberjacks have pulled Sheamus off the apron. The fight spills back into the ring as Cena and Sheamus are largely outnumbered.
The cavalry arrives to make the save. Nearly the entire locker room has hit the ring. Cena heads to the back to look for The Big Show. Cena is shown in the back and approaches Laurinaitis. He asks where Big Show is. JL reminds him that he can’t touch him or he is fired. Cena turns his head and walks right into a Knock Out Punch.
I have to take issue with the fact that John Laurinaitis said that he rehired Big Show on Saturday. The stipulation was that if any Superstar interfered he would be terminated. At the time I figured that the gimmick was that Show was not under contract thus he was allowed to interfere. JL’s appeal to the Board of Directors to have that stipulation lifted was denied so there is really no excuse for this massive plot hole. If the claim is that Show was fired and rehired after the PPV due to his involvement then that means there was no need for the stipulation on JL’s side because he could have had literally anyone interfere and then just rehire them. I’m very annoyed.
Shortly after Laurinaitis announces that any Superstar who lays a finger on him will be terminated, Sheamus bowls him over on the way to the ring. So…. why isn’t Sheamus fired? It must be plot-hole-palooza on RAW tonight.
The exchange between Santino and Ricardo was pretty hysterical. It sounded like two Wookies mating.
Del Rio/Orton was rather formulaic, nothing too special. Jericho was pretty intense in his attack on Orton which should set up his next feud.
I have trouble believing Chris Jericho’s claims that he is the best in the world when he has won something like three matches in the past five months. From a storyline standpoint it just isn’t viable.
Turnabout was fair play in the Bryan/Kane match. Punk locking on the Anaconda Vice suggests that we may get a submission match between the two. Or that’s just wishful thinking on my part, I’m not sure. After their absolutely fantastic performance at the PPV, I’m eager to see them square off once again.
Christian looked good in his return to Monday Night RAW. He did a pretty good job of actually making looking Jinder Mahal look decent which isn’t an easy task at all.
Kelly Kelly looked crazy beautiful tonight. No wonder Maxim chose her once again for their Hot 100 list.
The lumber jack cluster at the end of RAW had it’s exciting moments, but for a large portion of the match I was quite bored. It was weird to see the show end with Cena getting attacked in the back because of all the acting still happening in the ring. It seemed a little bizarre to me.
The Teacher’s Lounge (Sunday)
“The Teacher’s Lounge” is a weekly podcast archived every Saturday on the Wrestleview Radio Network featuring hosts David Stephens and “Mr. V” Anthony Valvo. The show reviews all of the news from the week, tosses out Gold Stars and Detentions, PPV previews and special guests. Past Interviews include: Colt Cabana, Hernandez, Sara Del Rey, CZW Owner DJ Hyde, Shane Douglas & more!