WWE RAW Results – 8/11/14 (Hulk Hogan’s Birthday Bash)

WWE RAW Results 8/11/14

WWE Monday Night RAW Results
August 11, 2014
Portland, Oregon
Results by: Mike Tedesco of Wrestleview.com

“Then. Now. Forever.” The WWE video leads us into the show.

The stage is decorated with boxes wrapped in red and yellow. Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and JBL talk about Hulk Hogan’s Birthday Celebration tonight as well as the big list of surprise guests due to show up.

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman address the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match

Brock Lesnar’s music hits, and he makes his way to the ring with Paul Heyman. Lesnar’s shirt has a sticker that says, “John Cena” on it so it now reads, “Eat. Sleep. Conquer John Cena.” Heyman says his name before mentioning that in six days he will be the advocate for the reigning, defending WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World, the Conqueror, Brock Lesnar. Before he begins his dissertation where he educates everyone, he wants to give them a taste of what he does on Monday Night RAW. He sells us on major events. If he has to come out and explain the history making beating John Cena will suffer this Sunday at SummerSlam, then you’re missing the point. His client has asked him to come out and sell SummerSlam to the Cenation. He wants Heyman to sell SummerSlam to fans of John Cena. Bad things happen to good people when you step into the ring with Brock Lesnar. Heyman says those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it to which he offers them this historical perspective. Still photos are shown of Lesnar beating The Undertaker at WrestleMania XXX and ending The Streak. If you were a fan of The Undertaker, and he said this before WrestleMania, looks of shock would be on everyone’s face when Lesnar drove The Undertaker down into the canvas and put The Streak out of the conqueror’s misery. If you were an Undertaker fan, you wouldn’t have missed WrestleMania.

When Brock Lesnar was a rookie in WWE, he got his hands on Dwayne Johnson. If you were a fan of The Rock and knew what was coming, you wouldn’t have missed that match. After Brock got his hands on The Rock, Rock wasn’t around for six to eight months. When Lesnar was a rookie in WWE, he got his hands on Hulk Hogan. When Lesnar was done, Hogan wasn’t seen for almost a year. If Hogan were to look for revenge, there would be no birthday celebration tonight. Now stands John Cena. This is their message to the Cenation: if you’re a fan of John Cena, don’t miss SummerSlam. When Cena comes out and says you can’t see him, he’s not lying. After Lesnar is through with him at SummerSlam, you’re not going to see Cena anymore. The crowd cheers this.

His client has gotten his hands on John Cena in the past to which he offers this historical perspective. Still photos are shown from Extreme Rules 2012. Even though Cena won the match, he lost the fight. Cena would say that as well. The beating the Lesnar laid down on Cena is something that needs to be addressed. When Cena got that tainted victory over Lesnar, Lesnar would never make an excuse. Heyman will stooge it off. Lesnar was still battling diverticulitis, which ended his UFC career. That Lesnar was at 50%, but that Lesnar still laid down a beating on Cena that he couldn’t recover from. This Sunday, Lesnar will be at 100%, and the beating he will lay down on Cena is that of a Shakespearian tragedy. He’s a 15-time champion that likes to have his fun, but not at Lesnar’s expense. They’re not from West Newberry nor can they hip hop like him. His client is a conqueror – he’s just Brock’s advocating Jew. His name is Paul Heyman, and his client is the Beast. On the 17th of August, on Cena’s title he shall feast. Cena doesn’t like Paul Heyman Guys – he thinks their attitudes are too smug. Heyman continues to say, “You’ve beaten all the best, but now Lesnar’s on your plate. You say your time is now – Brock says you’re calendar is out of date. So here’s some free advice with SummerSlam drawing near. Get it out your damn system when you say, ‘The Champ is here.’ We’re six days away from the west coast’s biggest arena where my client, Brock Lesnar, will conquer John Cena.” Heyman puts the microphone down, and Lesnar pats him on the chest.

Heyman picks the microphone back up, and he says he almost forgot. As of this moment, this is Brock’s house now. On Sunday, it’ll be Brock’s title. In the meantime, his client has already conquered the WWE Universe. That makes all the fans his servants. This is Brock’s house and the ring is his home. If you’ll excuse him, he’s going to take the man of the house out to dinner. John Cena will have something to say and there will be a birthday celebration for Hulk Hogan. Don’t let the party get out of hand because when the man of the house is done eating dinner tonight, he’s coming back home.

The commentators plug the WWE Network, which you can get for just $9.99 a month. You can watch SummerSlam and every PPV ever for that price.

John Cena will respond to Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. We’ll also celebrate Hulk Hogan’s birthday. They show a video from Flo Rida wearing a Hulk Hogan shirt wishing him a Happy Birthday. “Weird” Al Yankovic is also seen wishing him a Happy Birthday.

Roman Reigns will be in action against an opponent picked by The Authority, next.

-Commercial Break-

Roman Reigns makes his way to the ring through the crowd to a tremendous reception. Kane’s music comes out, and he comes out as Corporate Kane. Kane says he’s happy to be back as the Director of Operations for The Authority. Last week in his match against him, Reigns was able to come out victorious. That’s almost like facing two men. Six days before facing Randy Orton at SummerSlam, The Authority would like to see how he fares actually facing two men. Ryback and Curtis Axel make their way to the ring.

Roman Reigns vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel

Curtis Axel will start the match against Roman Reigns. Ryback whispers some advice to Axel before he begins. Axel taunts Reigns a few times, but he doesn’t respond. Reigns shoves Axel away. Reigns stares at Axel as he takes his time. They lock up, and Reigns applies a side headlock. Axel whips him off, but Reigns hits a shoulder block. Axel gets to his knees and looks bewildered. Axel talks a little trash to him about how Reigns is a coward. Axel shoves him, and Reigns shoves him down to the mat. Ryback is tagged in, and he says playtime is over. They lock up, and Reigns applies a side headlock. Ryback whips him off, and Reigns hits him with a shoulder block, but Ryback doesn’t go down. Ryback talks some trash, so Reigns clotheslines him down. Reigns punches him to the corner, but Ryback soon turns him and hits some shoulder blocks. Reigns punches him back before having a whip to the corner reversed on him. Reigns quickly bounces out of the corner with a clothesline. Axel quickly distracts Reigns, and Ryback hits him in the midsection. Ryback goes for a suplex, but Reigns counters into a suplex of his own. Reigns hits some back elbows and an uppercut. Axel comes near him on the apron, and Reigns swats him to ringside. Reigns then hits the ten punches in the corner before knocking Axel off the apron again. Ryback then counters into a powerbomb.

-Commercial Break-

We come back from the break to see Reigns fight up from a chin lock applied by Ryback. Reigns punches both Axel and Ryback before big booting Ryback out of the ring. Reigns goes outside, and Axel tries to attack him from behind. Ryback quickly cuts him off and sends him into the ring post. Axel grabs Reigns and sends him into the ring post again. Ryback and Axel team up to send Reigns into the ring post. The referee throws the match out.

Winner by Disqualification: Roman Reigns
Match Rating: * 1/4

Ryback and Axel send Reigns into the ring, and Axel dropkicks him to the corner. Ryback quickly follows up with a splash. Axel talks a little trash to the crowd. Ryback whips Axel into Reigns, who clotheslines Axel down. Reigns clotheslines Ryback before hitting Axel with a Samoan Drop. Reigns then punches Ryback before clotheslining him out of the ring. Reigns sidesteps a splash from Axel before turning him inside out with a kick to the back of the knee. Reigns goes outside the ring and hits Axel with a running dropkick to the head. Reigns sends Ryback into the ring post before rolling him into the ring. Reigns punches the mat before connecting on Ryback with a Superman Punch. Reigns soon follows up with a Superman Punch on Axel. The crowd starts chanting for a Spear. Reigns then delivers a Spear to Ryback before hitting one on Axel for good measure. Reigns’ music hits as the crowd cheers loudly for him.

Replays are shown of the destruction of RybAxel at the hands of Roman Reigns.

Renee Young comes to the ring and asks how Reigns feels about going one-on-one with Randy Orton at SummerSlam. The crowd cheers Reigns as he looks to them. A “Roman” chant fires up. Reigns asks Portland if it looks like he’s ready. They loudly cheer. Two weeks ago Orton left him lying. Orton claims he stole something from him. He’s never stolen anything from Orton, but this Sunday, he’s taking everything from him. He claims The Viper is back, but what’s a Viper when you knock its fangs down its throat? A worthless little worm! Reigns then says, “Believe that!” Reigns poses for the crowd.

Randy Orton is seen talking to Kane backstage. Orton finds it funny that Reigns claims he’s not afraid of him. Ryback and Curtis Axel couldn’t get the job done just like Kane couldn’t last week. Orton tells Kane to mark his words that he will end Roman Reigns at SummerSlam. Kane says Orton’s match against Reigns at SummerSlam will be one of the biggest challenges of his career, so The Authority wants to make sure he’s ready. The Authority is putting him in a match tonight against Sheamus. Kane says it’s what’s best for business. Orton laughs before saying, “OK, fine.”

Stephanie McMahon has a confession to tell Brie Bella later tonight. An interview Michael Cole had with Chris Jericho and Bray Wyatt will be seen later on as well.

Rob Van Dam makes his way to the ring. He’ll be in action against Seth Rollins, next.

-Commercial Break-

Rob Van Dam vs. Seth Rollins

The bell rings, and they circle the ring. Rollins kicks RVD to the corner and stomps him before choking him with his boot. RVD reverses a whip to the opposite corner, and he connects with a wheel kick. RVD hits a standing moonsault for a two count. RVD puts him in the corner and goes for the ten punches, but Rollins slips out and kicks him in the knee. Rollins drops some knees before sending him into the ropes for a back elbow. Rollins picks up a two count. Rollins rips at RVD’s face before applying a chin lock. RVD fights up, but Rollins stops his momentum. Rollins sends him into the ropes, but RVD ducks a back elbow and gets a leg scissor pin for a two count. RVD punches before having a whip to the corner reversed. RVD catches him with a back elbow before going to the second rope for a diving thrust kick. RVD goes to the top rope, but Rollins rolls out of the ring. RVD connects with a baseball slide before hitting a front suplex onto the barricade. RVD goes to the apron and dives for a wheel kick, but Rollins avoids it.

-Commercial Break-

We come back from the break to see RVD trapped in a chin lock. RVD fights up and blocks a shot to the corner. RVD kicks him in the face before sidestepping a splash. RVD hits a pair of clotheslines before hitting a body slam. RVD hits Rolling Thunder, but with a splash instead of a senton for a two count. RVD superkicks him down before connecting with a split-legged moonsault for another two count. RVD counters a back body drop attempt before sending him to the corner for a monkey flip attempt, but Rollins slams him down. Rollins then connects with the Curb Stomp for the win.

Winner by Pinfall: Seth Rollins
Match Rating: * 1/2

Seth Rollins celebrates at the top of the stage before looking around for Dean Ambrose to attack. Rollins sets his eyes on one of Hulk Hogan’s gift boxes that looks like it could fit an adult male. Rollins jukes it a few times before walking off. Ambrose then comes out of it and viciously attacks him! Ambrose beats him down to the ring before clotheslining him out of the ring. Ambrose chases him, but Rollins escapes through the crowd!

Ambrose takes the microphone and screams for Rollins to run while he still can. There won’t be no running or hiding in a Lumberjack Match. In six days, Rollins’ ass belongs to him. For just $9.99, he’ll get more than his money’s worth.

Stephanie McMahon is seen walking backstage. She’ll have a confession for Brie Bella, next.

The commentators talk about what they would be doing if they didn’t work for the WWE. Slam City is coming back, and they show a trailer for it.

-Commercial Break-

Stephanie McMahon has a confession for Brie Bella

Stephanie McMahon makes her way to the ring. A replay is shown of Stephanie and Brie signing the contract for their match at SummerSlam. Stephanie then attacked the Bella Twins and hit them with Pedigrees.

As a principal owner of WWE, it is her mission to always do what’s best for the WWE Universe. That includes the fans and the WWE Superstars. Sometimes, they receive information that could negatively impact one of their employee’s lives and are faced with the unfortunate task of intervening. Many are aware that Daniel Bryan underwent surgery weeks ago, and he has been aggressively rehabbing to get back to action. Stephanie then talks about Bryan’s physical therapist, Megan Miller. A picture is shown of her and Bryan on the titantron. Megan has something she would like to say, and she’s here tonight. Stephanie looks for Megan in the crowd before finding her.

Megan Miller sheepishly makes her way through the crowd before getting into the ring. Stephanie thanks her for being here tonight and mentions that Megan has something to confess. Megan shakes her head and turns to leave. Stephanie says Megan is the victim. Megan says she’s really gotten to know Daniel and Brie. They’re good people, and she likes them. She and her boyfriend have had dinner with them several times. She’s tried hard to get him back into the ring. Megan looks sad before saying Bryan loves to do this. Bryan has such and appreciation for WWE and the fans. Stephanie says she knows this is difficult. Megan takes a deep breath before covering her face. Megan says she’s so ashamed. Her boyfriend left him, and she can’t be his physical therapist anymore. Stephanie asks why. Megan says it all happened so innocently. The crowd is loudly booing. At least it did at first.

Stephanie tells Megan to take a deep breath before asking what happened. Megan says, “I’ve been having an affair with Daniel Bryan.” Stephanie says she’s very sorry before hugging her. The crowd is booing and chanting, “NO!” Brie Bella charges down to the ring before getting in Megan’s face. Stephanie says the wife is always the last to know. Bryan used Brie and threw her away like a piece of trash. Brie’s problem isn’t with her tonight – it’s with Megan. Megan told her that Bryan calls Brie a dead fish. Stephanie asks Megan to tell Brie what she used to say what she said after every session: “YES! YES! YES!”

Brie slaps Megan as Stephanie continues to taunt her. Brie then tackles Stephanie before punching away at her. Brie then locks her into the YES! Lock before agents run down to break them up. Stephanie takes the microphone and says they’re not waiting for SummerSlam. They’re going to settle this tonight!

John Cena will respond to Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman’s words later tonight. There will also be an interview of Chris Jericho and Bray Wyatt shown.

Drew Brees, AJ Hawk, and Aaron Rodgers send birthday wishes to Hulk Hogan.

-Commercial Break-

Replays are shown of what just happened with Stephanie McMahon, Brie Bella, and Daniel Bryan’s physical therapist, Megan Miller.

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter make their way to the ring. Replays are shown of Rusev attacking Jack Swagger last week on RAW. Lana held Rusev back from attacking Zeb Colter.

Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter

The bell rings, and they circle the ring before Swagger goes for a takedown. Cesaro stays standing and applies a side headlock. Swagger’s ribs are taped from the attack last week. Swagger avoids a double stomp from Cesaro. Swagger hits a waistlock takeover before applying a side headlock. Cesaro whips him off, but he is taken down with a shoulder block. Swagger hits the ropes and catches him trying to do a leapfrog with another slam. Swagger sends him to the corner, but Cesaro sidesteps a splash. Cesaro works on the injured ribs before hitting a gutwrench suplex. A USA chant breaks out. Cesaro hits some body shots before kicking the ribs. Cesaro hits a running European Uppercut, and Swagger hits the mat. Cesaro stands on his head before sending him into the ropes for an abdominal stretch. Cesaro punches the ribs before releasing the hold after a few moments. Cesaro connects with a rib breaker for a two count. Cesaro applies an arm bar, but Swagger soon fights up and drives him to the corner. Swagger hits some shoulder thrusts, but he can’t follow up. Cesaro connects with a big boot before hitting a diving axe handle. Cesaro goes for another diving axe handle, but Swagger counters into a belly-to-belly side suplex.

Swagger hits a corner clothesline before hitting a short-arm clothesline. Swagger punches him before having a whip reversed. Cesaro kicks him before hitting a front suplex onto the top rope. Cesaro then big boots him off the apron.

-Commercial Break-

We come back from the break to see Swagger trapped in an abdominal stretch. Swagger fights out, but he has a whip reversed, and Cesaro reapplies the abdominal stretch. Cesaro punches him in the ribs before trying to tear the bandages off. Swagger counters into a sidewalk slam to get out of the hold. Swagger ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own. Swagger hits a running knee to the corner before hitting a big boot. Swagger connects with a Swagger Bomb for a near fall. Swagger drags him to the middle of the ring, but Cesaro surprises him with an inside cradle for a two count. Swagger punches him in the corner, but Cesaro soon comes back with a throat thrust and a big boot for a near fall. Cesaro goes to the second rope for a diving senton splash for another near fall! Cesaro gets him on the apron and goes for his powerful apron to air superplex, but Swagger blocks it. Swagger goes to suplex him off the apron, but Cesaro lands on his feet on the apron! Swagger punches and clotheslines him into the ring. Swagger then misses a clothesline, and Cesaro connects with a catapult gut-buster. Cesaro follows up with a low European Uppercut for a near fall!

Cesaro does a double stomp, but Swagger follows up with a Patriot Lock attempt. Cesaro kicks him away and goes to the top rope, but Swagger throws him off and applies the Patriot Lock. Swagger drags him to the middle of the ring and makes him tap out!

Winner by Submission: Jack Swagger
Match Rating: ** 1/4

Zeb Colter gets in the ring as Swagger holds the American flag. Colter says they’re in Portlandia. On Sunday, they’ll be at SummerSlam. He and Swagger have given SummerSlam a different name: Deportlandia. Colter wants Lana or Olga to give a message to the Kremlin Gremlin that follows her around. After SummerSlam, everybody from Los Angeles to Chernobyl will remember one thing: the fifty stars and the thirteen bars waving proudly in that ring because Jack Swagger will own Rusev at SummerSlam. Colter then has every Real American say, “We the People!”

The Russian Federation flag unfurls above the ring as Rusev comes to the ring with Lana. Rusev and Swagger wave their respective flags and stare at one another.

Stephanie McMahon will face Brie Bella tonight instead of SummerSlam. Randy Orton will also fight Sheamus. A one-on-one interview with Chris Jericho and Bray Wyatt will be shown, next.

-Commercial Break-

A replay is shown of Chris Jericho beating Luke Harper by disqualification last Monday after Bray Wyatt attacked him with a taped thumb to the throat. Wyatt then laid him out with Sister Abigail.

The commentators talk about Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt at SummerSlam. They then throw it to a sit-down interview with Chris Jericho and Bray Wyatt in the same room.

Chris Jericho and Bray Wyatt have a sit-down interview

Bray Wyatt immediately tells Michael Cole to leave. Wyatt asks if Chris Jericho remembers his dreams as a child. He remembers him. He remembers a scary little boy who wanted nothing more in life than to live up to his daddy. Wyatt asks if Jericho can still see the disappointment in his eyes. It drowned Jericho and left a hole so big that the only way he could fill it was to become a savior on his own. Jericho can’t even save himself. He knows lots about Jericho, but Jericho knows nothing about him. Wyatt says he’ll tell him something about himself. When he closes his eyes, he has the same reoccurring nightmare about people screaming. However, never once did he say he would be a savior because he isn’t. The only thing he lives for is to help people who can’t help themselves. You can’t just whisper words anymore. You have to scream it until their ears bleed. The only way to truly help someone is to hurt them. As long as he’s been on this world, he’s hurt a lot of people. For this, he’s not the least big sorry. Wyatt can’t resist. There are no consequences for his actions. He has no conscious nor does he believe in Heaven or Hell. He hates everything the world has created, including himself. He is a monster. He’s Bray Wyatt, the Eater of Worlds. The human race is decimated with its lack of fortitude, and Jericho exemplifies that weakness. There is a pale horse on the horizon coming for Jericho at SummerSlam. Wyatt says his smile will be the last thing Jericho ever sees. Wyatt laughs before sitting back in his chair.

Jericho smirks before saying he’s not a savior. After fifteen years of being in the WWE, all the things he’s done, all the wins, losses, and championships in between, has made him a survivor. One of the reasons for being a survivor is you never know what you’ll get from him. Jericho can’t promise which Jericho he’ll see, but he promises to follow the buzzards. He’s going to grab them and shove them down Wyatt’s throat and be the first man to leave Wyatt speechless before shutting him up for good.

AJ Lee makes her way to the ring. She’ll be in action, next.

-Commercial Break-

AJ Lee vs. Eva Marie

A replay is shown of Paige shoving AJ Lee off the stage two weeks ago on WWE Smackdown. AJ suffered whiplash as a result of that. AJ will put her WWE Divas Championship on the line against Paige at SummerSlam.

They lock up, and Eva wrenches the arm. AJ twists the arm before hitting a headlock takeover. Paige’s music hits, and she skips down to the ring smiling. Eva fights up, and AJ knees her in the midsection. AJ takes Eva down with a running back elbow. Paige continues to skip around the ring as AJ stares at her. Eva Marie then rolls her up for the win.

Winner by Pinfall: Eva Marie
Match Rating: 1/4 *

Paige goes to the top of the stage and says she knew when she pushed her off the stage on Smackdown, AJ would be mad. In addition to her coming out to support AJ tonight, she’s written an apology: “Roses are red, woodchips are beige. I’m sorry I pushed you right off the stage. It’s not like I hate you; I like you a bunch, but you just have that face that I want to punch. I’ll see you on Sunday, but this part is vital. I’ll be skipping my way out of SummerSlam with MY Divas Title.” Paige says, “Love ya,” before skipping off to the back.

AJ looks upset before going outside the ring to grab Eva Marie. AJ attacks her from behind before slamming her off the commentary table. AJ slams Eva into the apron before viciously punching away at her. AJ throws her into the barricade as the camera shows her looking like she’s having a breakdown. AJ then smiles, takes her title, and skips around the ring with it as her music plays.

Replays are shown of Paul Heyman doing a rap earlier in the evening verbally ripping John Cena apart.

John Cena is seen walking backstage. He’ll address those comments, next.

-Commercial Break-

Jimmy and Jey Uso will be having an open challenge with their WWE Tag Team Championships on the line tomorrow on WWE Main Event, exclusively on the WWE Network.

John Cena addresses his match against Brock Lesnar on Sunday

John Cena makes his way to the ring looking very serious and wearing new gear. Cena imitates Heyman’s voice as he says, “Ladies and gentlemen, my name is John Cena, and six days from now at SummerSlam, I am to be maimed and conquered by Brock Lesnar, that is if you believe the prognosticator of prognosticators, Paul Heyman.” Cena says this Sunday there will be pain and punishment. Lesnar will give him the beating of a lifetime. On Sunday, there is one thing Brock Lesnar will not do: win. This Sunday, Brock Lesnar will not win because for him to win, he is going to have to make him lose, and he is not laying down for Brock Lesnar. People can take that any way they want, but he’s not laying down for Lesnar because he doesn’t deserve the title. Cena isn’t saying he’s unbeatable. He will undoubtedly lose the title one day, but it won’t be on Sunday to Lesnar. He doesn’t like Lesnar. He’s arrogant and a bully who doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself. He’s the most difficult, uncaring, selfish SOB to ever walk into a WWE dressing room, and the superstars know that. Behind that giant screen isn’t a social club. This is business, but Lesnar’s idiotic view of the business doesn’t award him the title.

Cena says he’s been out here a lot of times, and they’ve shared some great moments. He’s heard the cheers (some cheer), and he’s heard the boos (the boos are louder). He’s been told he can’t wrestle (a chant of that breaks out). He’s heard, “Let’s go Cena” as well as “Cena sucks.” Every week, he comes out with a smile on his face, and there are a group who ask when he’ll turn. When does John Cena say enough is enough? When does Cena stop being about the t-shirts and ball caps? When does he stop being about the wristbands and K-Mart shoes? When will Cena unleash hell? This Sunday, he’s fighting a beast. To fight a beast, you must become one. This Sunday, they get their wish. This Sunday, they’ll see a John Cena he isn’t proud of. This is a John Cena they’ve never seen before, but it’s done to keep the title out of the hands of Brock Lesnar.

Cena will tell them why Lesnar doesn’t deserve the title. Paul Heyman told them earlier tonight that the ring is Lesnar’s house, and the fans belong to him. That is not what the ring stands for. This house has, does, and always will belong to the fans. This ring is the fans’ house. For the sake of gamesmanship, he’ll play along with Lesnar tonight. If this is Lesnar’s house, then there’s a stranger standing in the living room. Cena says a stranger is in Lesnar’s house. Cena dares him to come down and kick him out. Cena takes his shirt off and waits for Lesnar. Brock Lesnar doesn’t come out. Cena says he must’ve interrupted dinner. Maybe Lesnar came down with diverticulitis or hepatitis. Maybe he has a huge case of “punk-bitch-itis.” Cena asks if they’re getting serious now. Lesnar said he would rip him limb from limb. Cena tells him to start with his hand because he has way too many fingers. He’ll give Lesnar the middle one. The crowd loudly chants Cena’s name, but Lesnar still doesn’t show.

Cena says Heyman wanted a response, so he’ll get it. He won’t repeat history on Sunday – he’ll make it. This Sunday, he’ll conquer the conqueror. This Sunday, he’ll be the one that beats the one. This Sunday, the Champ is here!

Randy Orton will face Sheamus in a non-title match later tonight. Hulk Hogan will also celebrate his birthday.

Replays are shown of Daniel Bryan’s physical therapist admitting to an affair with him. Brie Bella then attacked her and Stephanie McMahon.

Brie Bella is seen walking backstage. She’ll face Stephanie McMahon, next.

-Commercial Break-

Larry King and Florida Georgia Line wish Hulk Hogan a Happy Birthday. Florida Georgia Line rip their shirts off like Hogan.

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Brie Bella comes down to the ring dressed to compete. Stephanie McMahon comes out still dressed in her casual attire. Stephanie says she’d have loved to beat her tonight, but they’ll have to wait for SummerSlam. That’s IF Brie makes it there, given her actions earlier tonight. A replay is shown of Brie slapping Megan Miller. It seems Megan Miller is pressing charges. Brie gets out of the ring, and two plainclothes cops stop her. They arrest her and give her the Miranda rights. Brie begins to cry as they walk her to the back. Stephanie insincerely wishes her luck. Stephanie says what goes around comes around. If Brie makes bail, then she’ll see her at SummerSlam. Stephanie goes off to the back.

-Commercial Break-

Replays are shown of the arrest of Brie Bella for slapping Megan Miller earlier in the evening.

The Miz is on commentary for the next match.

Heath Slater vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph Ziggler throws his shirt at The Miz as the bell rings. The crowd is chanting for Ziggler. They circle the ring and lock up. Slater tries to take him down, but Ziggler gets up. Slater punches him down before taunting the crowd. Slater sends him into the ropes for a back elbow. Slater applies a chin lock as The Miz’s microphone becomes unplugged. Ziggler fights up and punches out. Ziggler ducks a clothesline and hits a dropkick. Ziggler hits a snapmare before dropping an elbow for a two count. Ziggler gets up, and Slater surprises him with an inside cradle for a near fall. Ziggler body slams him down, but he misses an elbow drop. Slater drops a big knee for a near fall. Slater goes back to the chin lock. Ziggler fights up and punches out. Slater reverses a whip and hits a crescent kick for a near fall. Slater goes back to the chin lock. Ziggler fights up and delivers a jawbreaker. Ziggler ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own. Ziggler follows up with a dropkick, but he misses a splash. Ziggler counters a neckbreaker and hits the Zig-Zag.

The Miz gets on the apron, and Ziggler knocks him off. Ziggler goes outside and throws him into the barricade. Ziggler rips Miz’ suit jacket off and continues punching away at him. The referee was counting the entire time, and Ziggler is counted out. Slater wins for a second week in a row on RAW!

Winner by Count-Out: Heath Slater
Match Rating: *

Dolph Ziggler gets in the ring as the fans are chanting for Slater. Ziggler offers a handshake. Slater goes for a kick, but Ziggler blocks it. Ziggler then hits a Zig-Zag before posing for the crowd.

The WWE Network will be available in 170 countries starting tomorrow. The WWE Network will be available in the UK on October 1.

Randy Orton will take on Sheamus, next.

-Commercial Break-

This Friday on WWE Smackdown, The Miz will host a special edition of Miz TV with Roman Reigns as his guest.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Charles Robinson, my favorite referee who congratulated me on Twitter on my recent engagement, is the official for this match. They lock up, and Orton backs him to the corner. They give a break. Orton punches, but Sheamus punches back. Orton sends him to the corner, but Sheamus quickly bounces out with a clothesline. Sheamus punches him in the corner before Orton takes him down by pulling him face-first into the turnbuckle. Orton clotheslines him in the corner before hitting a second one. Orton backs up and runs into a boot. Sheamus follows up with a big body slam before going to the second rope. Sheamus hits a flying knee from halfway across the ring for a two count. Sheamus rips at his face before dropping a knee in his spine. Sheamus punches him down, but Orton soon kicks back. Sheamus blocks a shot into the corner and punches him in the corner before hitting a short-arm clothesline for a two count. Orton rolls to the apron, and Sheamus grabs him. Orton fights out and gets off the apron.

-Commercial Break-

We come back from the break to see Sheamus trapped in a chin lock. During the commercial, Orton gave Sheamus a back body drop into the timekeeper’s area. Sheamus fights up and clotheslines Orton out of the ring. Sheamus goes outside to get him. Orton kicks Sheamus and gives him a back suplex on the commentary table. Orton fixes the tabletop as the commentators look on fearfully. Orton rolls him into the ring and covers for a two count. Orton reapplies a chin lock, but Sheamus fights up and hits a back suplex of his own.

Sheamus hits a pair of Irish hammers before hitting a shoulder thrust in the corner followed by a running knee lift. Sheamus hits a running knee to the face in the corner and follows up with a suplex for a near fall. Sheamus goes for a rolling fireman’s carry, but Orton elbows out and gets out of the ring. Orton kicks Sheamus, but Sheamus blocks a barricade shot. Sheamus sends him into the barricade before rolling him into the ring. Orton kicks him as he reenters the ring and goes for a hanging DDT, but Sheamus counters with a back body drop. Orton lands on the apron, and Sheamus catches him with the 10 Beats of the Bodhrán. Sheamus hits a rolling fireman’s carry for a near fall. Sheamus goes for an Irish Curse Backbreaker, but Orton elbows him in the head. Sheamus reverses a whip, but he lowers his head and eats a kick. Orton quickly follows up with his trademark backbreaker. Sheamus rolls to the apron, and Orton catches him with a hanging DDT.

Orton taunts the crowd before dropping down in position for an RKO. Sheamus rolls to the apron and snaps him off the top rope. Sheamus hits a slingshot shoulder ram before hitting a big powerslam for a near fall. Sheamus begins mocking Orton’s RKO taunt. Sheamus then pounds his chest. Orton ducks a Brogue Kick, and Sheamus throws off an RKO attempt. Sheamus goes for a shoulder thrust, but Orton sidesteps him. Sheamus boots him in the face before pulling himself up to the top rope. Sheamus goes for a diving battering ram, but Orton counters into a mid-air RKO! Orton poses before covering for the win!

Winner by Pinfall: Randy Orton
Match Rating: ** 1/2

Hulk Hogan’s Birthday Celebration is coming up next.

-Commercial Break-

Footage is shown of the buildup to John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar that will be on the WWE Network after RAW.

Hulk Hogan’s Birthday Celebration

“Mean” Gene Okerlund is in the ring with “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. Okerlund introduces Hulk Hogan, who comes out to a great reception. The WWE locker room is on the stage giving him a round of applause as well. Okerlund says they’re here to celebrate Hogan in fine style. Okerlund then directs his attention to the titantron, and a fantastic video of Hogan’s career is played. The crowd gives him an incredible reaction before chanting his name. Hogan is visibly choked up as the WWE Superstars continue to applaud him.

Okerlund says they could be here all night. Hogan says the video was amazing. With all the Hulkamaniacs in the WWE Universe, he may be speechless for the first time ever. Okerlund says this reception must do his heart good. Hogan says he’s going to muster up a little something since they’re in the middle of Portland, Oregon, brother. Hogan says, “Well let me tell you something, Mean Gene.” Everyone has been showering him with presents all day. Even that nasty, mean old Vince McMahon gave him a gift. Everyone knows how much it costs to subscribe to the WWE Network ($9.99). McMahon gave him a birthday card with a certain amount of money – $9.99. As mean as McMahon is, he wanted to make sure Hogan subscribed to the WWE Network so he could see SummerSlam on Sunday. Hogan says this is the greatest birthday he’s ever had. Hogan thanks the crew in the back as well as the WWE Superstars and Pat Patterson. Hogan thanks everyone.

Hogan says when your birthday rolls around every year and you turn 61 years young, you start to reflect on a few things. Hulkamania is a two-way street, and he just hopes that he’s been able to touch their lives just a little bit compared to how they’ve touched him. Hogan says he loves the fans, his Hulkamaniacs, and the WWE Universe, brother.

Ric Flair’s music hits, and the Nature Boy makes his way to the ring to celebrate. Flair shakes his hand. Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff makes his way to the ring in one of his old robes. Orndorff looks like a Civil War reenactor. The theme song is tremendous. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper’s music hits, and the crowd explodes. Piper goes down to the ring. The theme song of the nWo hits, and Kevin Nash and Scott Hall make their way to the ring to another tremendous reception.

Kevin Nash takes the microphone, but he gives it to Hulk Hogan. Hall says, “Hey yo!” Hall says The Outsiders are honored to be there to show some love to him. Hall mentions that Hogan looks sweet in the red and yellow. Hall says he wants to take a little survey. How many people came to see Hogan in red and yellow? There are some cheers and boos. Hall then asks if they liked him better when he was rocking the black and white in the nWo! The crowd erupts, and Hogan tears his shirt off to reveal an nWo shirt. Nash says he’s done a lot of things in his career, but he’s never done this. Nash then begins to sing a terribly off key rendition of “Happy Birthday To You.”

Brock Lesnar’s music hits, and he makes his way down to the ring with Paul Heyman! Lesnar gets in the ring and goes face to face with all the legends in the ring. Lesnar gets in Piper’s face and shoves him off. Lesnar gets in Flair’s face before backing away. Hogan begins going face to face with Lesnar. Heyman says, “Whatcha gonna do, Hulkster?” Lesnar says, “Party’s over, grandpa.” John Cena then runs down to the ring and takes his shirt off. Cena challenges Lesnar to attack. Heyman screams for Lesnar to back away. Lesnar and Heyman leave the ring as the entire arena showers them with boos. Lesnar and Heyman back up the ramp as Cena stares at him.


Quick Match Results

Roman Reigns def. Ryback and Curtis Axel via DQ
Seth Rollins def. Rob Van Dam
Jack Swagger def. Cesaro via Submission
Eva Marie def. AJ Lee (non-title)
Heath Slater def. Dolph Ziggler via CO
Randy Orton def. Sheamus (non-title)

E-Mail – MikeyT817@gmail.com
Twitter – @MikeTedescoWV

“Mike’s Thoughts” will be up tomorrow night exclusively on this site. Be sure to check it out and share your feedback on this episode of RAW.

On Sunday, I’ll be giving my predictions for the SummerSlam PPV. Be on the lookout for that and share your predictions with me as well. My predictions record so far isn’t half bad. Check that out as well as all the great coverage provided by Wrestleview all day on Sunday.

Be sure to check out my recap of Smackdown this Friday. Check out last week’s recap here!

Did you miss last week’s episode of RAW? Check it out here!

RIP Robin Williams.

Thanks for reading! Enjoy SummerSlam!