Stan Kroenke came out to some goofy music. All the ‘celebrities’ are there as well. Kroenke said he had no problems screwing the WWE out of his arena, and said he absolutely didn’t care about ‘you people’. He said he had unfairly been vilified by the local media. He droned on and on for a little while before Mr. McMahon’s music hit and he came down to the ring.
Vince said he was going to start a new professional basketball league, the XBA. He said, unfortunately, this would probably be a miserable, total failure, because he’d let Kroenke run it. He made fun of the ‘E’ in Kroenke’s name, which stands for ?Enos?. He said ?Enos? rhymed with a lot of things, but he wouldn’t get into it. He accused him of having ‘Enos envy’ and he clearly disrespected WWE fans. He said you couldn’t push the WWE universe around like someone else, because unlike the rest of the world, they pushed back.
As McMahon left the ring The Miz’s music hit and he came out to the ramp. The Miz ran down Los Angeles and revealed that he was wearing a Cleveland Cavs jersey and proclaimed them the true NBA Champions. After running down John Cena for a little while, Cena decided he had enough and made his way to the ring. As he climbed into the ring, the Legacy jumped him. Batista came bounding down to the ring to make the save before Big Show came down to cut HIM off. Lawler ended up coming to the baby face’s aide and they cleaned house to set up the match for later tonight.
WWE Divas Championship
Maryse v. Kelly Kelly
Maryse started off by stooging a bit in the beginning and Kelly responded in kind. Maryse took exception and pounced on Kelly and began reigning down right hands. Maryse hit a back breaker for a two count before gathering Kelly and spiking her face off the mat. Maryse jaw jacked with the official for a bit before hitting a forearm to the back of the head.
Kelly managed to reverse an Irish whip and hit an avalanche. Kelly hit a hip toss before whipping Maryse to the corner and connecting with a springboard back elbow. Kelly got super fired up and began hammering in blows on the champion. The two rolled around on the mat before the action spilled to the outside where Maryse again resumed control. She laid Kelly out on the announce table and laid in a series of elbows to the face before just shoving Kelly over the announce table that somehow has caused a disqualification.
Winner: Kelly Kelly via DQ
After the match the two continued to go at it before Maryse ran off.
?Jack Nicholson? is with the Bella Twins back stage. He comes across Goldust and Hornswoggle, who re-enact a scene from ?A Few Good Men? for him.
Ric Flair is with Batista. Batista isn’t too hot on Flair challenging Orton tonight and wants him to do it after Extreme Rules. Flair says that’s ridiculous. He’s the nature boy and he’s calling Orton out tonight.
#1 Contenders Match For the United States Championship
Matt Hardy v. William Regal v. Kofi Kingston
Kofi went after Matt, enabling Regal to blindside both and lay some shots in on Kofi. Hardy nursed his arm on the outside while Regal completely plastered Kofi in the face with a forearm. He kept on hitting European uppercuts before Kofi was able to to springboard off the ropes and hit a take down.
Kofi fired up for the boom boom leg drop but was cut off by Matt Hardy. Hardy tried to sneak in a series of near falls before tussling with Regal. Hardy was controlling the match as MVP strolled down to the ringside area to observe the match.
We came back to Hardy trying to roll up William Regal, but Regal kicked out summarily low lowed Hardy and dispatched him to the outside of the ring. After working over Kofi for a little while, Regal was eventually blindsided by Hardy, who connected wit ha neck breaker for a near fall. Regal threw him off. There was plenty of back and forth between Hardy and Regal, who essentially alternated working over Kofi.
Kofi finally began coming back and hit his boom boom leg drop for a two count on Hardy. He jumped up on the second rope and began pounding Hardy in the face only to get ripped off and suplexed by Regal. Regal couldn’t get the near fall because he got cut off by Hardy, who hit a side effect.
Kofi eventually hit trouble in paradise on Regal, but Hardy broke the fall up. Kofi ducked under a Hardy right hook and hit trouble in paradise on Hardy and scored the pin fall.
Winner: Kofi Kingston via pin fall
Ric Flair is set to confront Randy Orton next.
Ric Flair is out in the ring and he calls out Randy Orton. Orton comes down to the ring and runs down Flair, saying that Ric needed to get past Evolution and that his career was over and done with. He said he’d embarrassed himself and was a disgrace to WWE legends. Flair slapped him across the face before Randy easily took him down and started pounding on him. Batista came out and made the save, with Orton fleeing and Flair going bananas in the ring while Batista restrained him. As Orton talked from the ramp, Mr. Kennedy’s music hit and he came out to the ramp. Kennedy said he’d not only be the next WWE Champion, but he’d also be the fifth member of the team tonight. Orton walked off as Kennedy ogled the crowd.
Chavo Guerrero & Beth Phoenix v. Mickie James & Santino Marella
Chavo jumped Santino in the corner and began working him over until Beth and Mickie ended up in the ring together. Mickie hit a drop kick on Beth before drop kicking her in the face. Chavo charged Santino but Santino yanked down the middle rope and Guerrero went flying through and clattered to the floor. Beth was distracted by Santino’s antics and Mickie was able to roll her up.
Winners: Santino Marella & Mickie James via pin fall
After the match Vickie came out to the ramp and announced that Chavo would be in her corner for whatever match would take place at Extreme Rules. Santino said that was fine, because the match would be a ?Hog Pen? match.
Goldust & Hornswoggle v. Brian Kendrick & Festus
Kendrick has Festus dressed up in a clippers jersey. Brian gets frustrated when Festus doesn’t go right after Hornswoggle so he aggressively tags in and pelts Hornswoggle across the ring. Kendrick bullied Hornswoggle around the ring until he went to tag Festus in, and the big man refused. Hornswoggle sneaked away and tagged in Goldust, who made quick work of Kendrick and pinned him with a tadpole splash/final cut combo.
Winners: Goldust & Hornswoggle via pin fall
After the match Festus became sedate again. Kendrick was furious and went to the ringside area to retrieve a chair. He went to hit Festus with it but Carlito & Primo, who were on commentary for the match, rang the bell and Festus ran him off.
Randy Orton, Big Show, Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes & The Miz vs. John Cena, Batista, MVP, Mr. Kennedy & Jerry Lawler
After an initial blow over session from Batista, MVP tagged in and got cheap shotted. The heels worked him over viciously in the corner while trying to goad the faces to come in and help out in order to gain an advantage. Randy Orton finally tagged into the match and slapped on a rear chin lock as we headed to commercial break.
MVP was still getting worked over in the corner and almost made his way to the corner for a hot tag, but got cut off by the Miz. Miz worked a headlock, only for MVP to attempt to fight out of it. MVP hit an overhead throw and he crawled to the corner and tagged in Mr. Kennedy.
Kennedy hit a ton of rights and lefts before connecting with a big back elbow. Kennedy hit a spinning roundhouse kick for a near fall. Eventually Orton was able to tag in and got caught in an inverted back breaker. Big Show came in and whipped Kennedy before hitting a big body slam. Dibiase and Cody tagged in and began double teaming Kennedy before Cody tried a cover attempt.
The Miz is in now and dropped a knee on the back of Kennedy’s head before slapping on a rear chin lock. Dibiase tagged in and continued the fun with the chin lock, before Randy Orton tagged in and he began to stomp away on Kennedy on the mat.
Eventually Kennedy broke free and made the hot tag to John Cena. Cena went into his victory sequence, finally connecting with a five knuckle shuffle. MVP tagged in and hit his ballin’ elbow and a play maker for the win.
Winners: MVP, John Cena, Batista, Jerry Lawler & Mr. Kennedy via pin fall
After the match, everyone ran through their finishers before John Cena and Batista suplexed the Big Show. The baby faces celebrated in the ring as we went off the air.
Show Thoughts— A fun respite tonight and nothing more.
God, going through the Wrestleview chat at times, you’d have thought someone was urinating on the grave of the Virgin Mary the way some people were reacting to this show, but I thought it was fun.
Really all things considered, when you get a nice PR nugget like the WWE did this week, your priorities change. You’re going to need to capitalize on the main stream exposure while you have it and essentially use the episode to showcase your product. This show had 23 different wrestlers on it tonight. Its not like there were guys who didn’t get a fair shake.
They were able to build, at least a little bit, to all of the major Raw brand matches for the upcoming pay per view, so it wasn’t like they veered completely off the beaten path. Vince’s opening promo was rather tongue in cheek and as much a dig at himself as it was the whole Kroenke/Nuggets/Denver situation. I understand Vince’s point. Guys with money like to push people around (Vince should probably read up on his own moral himself, but I digress). They’ll always flinch when one pushes back.
All the matches were, on some level, fun. The main event was a fun spectacle and adding the LA Lakers PA announcer to the mix was a nice touch. It was nice to see Goldust and Festus back on television, even if he was in a Clippers jersey. The Santino/Vickie feud has been a lot of stupid fun, but fun nonetheless, to a point where they’re whipping the good ole hogpen match that hasn’t been seen since 1997. I’m sure Triple H will help them iron out the details as to how to properly work the match.
While this show certainly wasn’t memorable in the long run, it was a fun respite from the usual sprint we get from pay per view to pay per view these days. Its like going to get a drink of water out of the cooler and finding out someone made it Gatorade instead. Just fun and a nice treat. Nothing more, nothing less.
Overall Grade: B-
Kelly Kelly def. Maryse
Kofi Kingston def. Matt Hardy & William Regal
Santino Marella & Mickie James def. Beth Phoenix & Chavo Guerrero
Goldust & Hornswoggle def. THE Brian Kendrick & Festus
Batista, John Cena, MVP, Jerry Lawler & Mr. Kennedy def. Randy Orton, Big Show, The Miz, Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase
Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?
2. John Cena
3. Ric Flair
4. Santino Marella
1. Randy Orton
2. Vickie Guerrero
3. Big Show
4. Matt Hardy
Match of the Night: 10-Man Tag Match **1/2
4 Points= World Title defense/win
3 Points= Singles PPV Win
2 Points= Tag PPV Win
2 Points= TV Singles Win
1 Point= TV Tag Win
0 Points= Loss
1. WWE Champion: Randy Orton 7-6-3, 17 pts. (Last Week: WWE Champion)— Orton does a really good job of acting like a cereal killer. He just does. His tone, his looks, the entire presentation of the character is so money at this point. The ring work’s mostly there, too, even if it hasn’t peaked its head out in a while.
United States Champion: MVP 3-1-1, 5 Points (Last Week: US Champion)— MVP seems to be the guy the WWE is really intent on pushing out of the mid card. He’s not just involved in a segment every week, but usually two to three. That’s usually the sign of a guy whom the WWE really wants us to see a lot of. I’ve enjoyed gumdrop rainbow prancing MVP oddly enough, and it’ll be interesting to see how his style meshes with Kofi Kingston’s in a week’s time.
1. John Cena 12-6-2, 27 points. (Last Week: 1)— It was a fairly quiet week for Cena. He did his thing with the five man tag, but for the most part, stayed quiet.
2. Batista 6-4, 10 Points (Last Week: 2)— I thought they did the best job of making Batista look like a big deal than they have since bringing him on the brand. He was the great equalizer in a ton of situations tonight, although I’m not a big fan of one guy getting multiple run ins within the span of one show.
3. Cody Rhodes 7-4-1, 9 points (Last Week: 5) — These two just look so much better after even just a few weeks of increased attention. Their tag work is really coming together nicely, and they’ve even developed their own little personalities in a way. They still have a ways to go, but every week seems like a positive step in the right direction.
4.Ted Dibiase, Jr. 7-3-2, 8 Points (Last Week: 6)— See Cody.
5. Kofi Kingston 9-3, 15 points (Last Week: 7)— Kofi’s really turned it up since the draft, and is sitting on a brand-best 9-3 record. Shockingly, I thought he was the best part of the triple threat tonight, even though I think Hardy and Regal are clearly the superior workers. I’ll be interested to see what he and MVP can throw together in a week’s time.
6. Triple H 1-2-0, 1 Point (Last Week: 3)— Not in action.
7. Shawn Michaels 6-3, 10 pts. (Last Week: 4) — Not in Action.
8. Matt Hardy 3-5-0, 4 Points (Last Week: 8) – – This was the worst I’ve seen Hardy look in a WWE ring thus far this year. Probably an off night. He and Regal were seriously just going through the motions, blowing through some spots to go home. Nothing too impressive when Kofi is clearly the strongest piece of the match.
9. Big Show 1-3-0, 2 Points (Last Week: 9)— Show needs some wins in my view. Even if its a series of squashes, they’ve gotta put some oomph behind his super strong persona. He’s a guy who I’m really seeing the crowd beginning to cool on, despite all his work and character presentation being so solid. Get him some wins and give people a reason to soil their pants again.
10. The Miz 0-2-1, 0 Points (Last Week: 10)— The Miz’s mic work is what’s keeping him in the top 10, although he’s dangerously close to falling out of it if he can’t pick up a few squash wins. Time to put up, or shut up.
Santino Marella 3-2, 5 points (Last Week:NR)
Carlito Colon 3-1-0, 4 Points (Last Week: NR)
William Regal, 3-7, 4 points (Last Week: NR )
Primo Colon 2-0-0, 2 Points (Last Week: NR)
Brian Kendrick 1-3-0, 2 Points (Last Week: NR)
Sim Snuka 1-0, 1 Point (Last Week: NR)
Mr. Kennedy 1-0-0, 1 Points (Last Week: NR)
Hornswaggle 1-0-0, 1 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jerry Lawler 1-0, 1 points (Last Week: NR)
Goldust 1-1-0, 1 Points (Last Week: NR)
Festus 0-1-0, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)
Chavo Guererro 0-3-0, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jamie Noble 0-2, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jim Duggan 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Kane 7-7, 12 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Mike Knox 3-3 4 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
JTG 2-4, 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Big Shaad 2-3 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Charlie Haas 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Dolph Ziggler 0-3, 0 Points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
CM Punk 9-7, 17 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Rey Mysterio 11-6, 22 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Chris Jericho 6-6 13 pts. DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
JBL 1-6, 4 points (Last Week: 7) RETIRED