This week’s Impact opens up with the ECW boys in the ring right off the top. Brother Devon has joined them this week. Tenay mentions for the first time that Hard Justice is now HardCORE Justice. Dreamer gets on the microphone and says that he’s been here for about 8 weeks and it’s the loudest he’s ever heard the Impact Zone tonight. Dreamer says he knows there’s been a lot of buzz about the PPVand due to certain legal issues they will be known as EV2.0 now. Dreamer thanks Brother Devon for being out there tonight and the question amongst them is what’s going on with a certain angry man that won’t put his differences aside (Bubba). Devon says he doesn’t know what’s going on and he says all families have differences but for some reason Bubba is letting that stand in the way. He calls Bubba out to the ring right now and settle this thing once and for all.
3D’s music hits and Bubba makes his way out to the ramp. Devon says he and Ray need to put their differences aside along with the differences between Bubba and Jesse because ‘this’ is their family. Devon says the guys in the ring are the guys that’s had their backs since day one. He asks Brother Ray if he’s in or is he out. Bubba turns his back and starts to walk off but Dreamer stops him. He says Bubba has been his best friend and says this is something bigger. He says this is Kiss’ original members getting back together and doing it one more time for the fans. Dreamer says it’s one last night to say thank you to everyone that supporting them. He says they’re not trying recapture any kind of magic and the fans chant “one more time” as Bubba looks on. Foley says with Bubba or without him they’re going to have one hell of a show but in his hardcore opinion the show’s that much greater with Bubba’s participation. Foley says he’s not a fortune teller but in his opinion if he chooses not to do this show then he’ll look back on his career and this will be the one thing he will regret more than anything. Foley says he wants Bubba in the ring with them now. Taz interrupts them from the announce table and tells Bubba to listen to him as Tenay looks on surprised. Taz channels a Nike commercial and tells him to ‘just do it.’ Bubba walks into the ring and looks Devon in the eyes and then looks at the other guys and grabs a microphone. Bubba says he needs one question answered and then asks, “are we gonna’ light somebody on fire?” to a huge reaction from the fans a big grin from Devon. Devon nods that they are and the fans start chanting “EV2.0” (sounds dubbed over the real ECW chants). Bubba says it sounds like a lot of fun and he’s in! Bubba and Devon hug and then Bubba shakes hands with all the other ECW guys. Hulk Hogan’s music hits interrupting the celebration!
Hogan looks on at the site in the ring and then walks down. Hogan says it looks like they’re going to ride again and thanks them for doing it in TNA. Hogan says he just wishes he would’ve known before hand he would’ve had a few extra surprises for them, but welcomes them to TNA anyway. Hogan says he gets the whole hardcore thing but the guys in the ring will take it to another level. Hogan talks about how Dixie said ECW was to the 90’s what Hogan was to the 80’s and he says he agrees with that comparison. Hogan says he missed the whole thing because while ECW was tearing up the 90’s he had a black beard and was running around ruling his world. He says he’ll have a chance to see it now and he can’t wait to see hardcore ride again at HardCORE Justice. Hogan says since everybody is in such a giving mood he and Bischoff have a surprise for everyone tonight that they’ll reveal later tonight. Abyss’ music hits and the Monster walks out to the ring with ‘Janice.’
Abyss says he hates to break up this little extreme reunion but he’s here to tell them that ‘they’ are not happy and not only that, but they are down right pissed off. Abyss says this was never a part of their plan and it wasn’t supposed to happen. Abyss says there is one person that they hold responsible and it’s not Dreamer or Foley or even Hulk Hogan. They hold Dixie Carter fully responsible! Hogan says he could care less what ‘they’ say or what they don’t say and as far as he’s concerned Abyss should go find a good shrink and get his head checked out. Hogan says right now Tommy Dreamer is a guest in TNA and nothing is going to go down until the PPV. Abyss says they have given him strict orders to take Tommy Dreamer out tonight! He says without Dreamer there won’t be a HardCORE Justice. Hogan says Dreamer is TNA’s guest and he won’t step up until he’s good and ready. Dreamer interrupts Hogan and says if it’s okay with Hogan he would love to fight Abyss tonight! Dreamer says if Dixie and Hogan will allow it then he’s down for it!
In the back Velvet and Lacey are arguing and then Madison walks in. She says she’s thought all week and they won’t be able to accomplish anything if they don’t stick together. Madison says they’ve been running the Knockouts division since they put the Beautiful People together so why jeopardize it now. Velvet says maybe it has something to do with Madison saying she doesn’t need them or maybe it’s because Madison took it upon herself to add a 4th member that she and Lacey still don’t know the identity of, or maybe it even could be because Madison teamed with Sarita last week. Madison says that Sarita and Angelina have a #1 Contenders Match tonight and when her backup came last week she offered both of them to come join her but Velvet refused. Velvet says it’s too late to apologize and then Madison says she won’t beg Velvet but she wants things to go back to the way they were. She apologizes but Velvet says it’s going to take a lot more than that. Velvet refuses her apology but then Madison says it again and asks if they can have a truce. Velvet thinks and says they can’t keep doing this and says fine they can have a truce and then they all 3 hug.
TNA Knockouts Championship #1 Contenders Match
Sarita vs. Angelina Love
Oh man, Sarita has some new gear and all I can say is…wow. Sarita goes in for a lockup but Angelina ducks underneath her and then puts Sarita in a waistlock. Angelina transitions into a side headlock but Sarita shoves her into the ropes only to eat a shoulder block and then Angelina scores a one count. Angelina hits another shoulder block and gets another one count. Sarita then sweeps Angelina’s legs and covers with a lateral press but immediately Angelina shoves her off. Angelina then sweeps Sarita’s legs and covers but Sarita shoves HER off. Both girls stare each other down now and then Angelina starts to walk over to Sarita but Sarita pulls the referee in between them. Sarita then pushes the referee aside and nails Angelina with a forearm. Sarita then whips Angelina into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Angelina ducks it and rolls Sarita up! 1…2…NO Sarita kicks out! Angelina then hits a series of forearms and Sarita tries to bail out of the ring but Angelina grabs her from behind around the waist. Sarita then spins around Angelina into a nice drop toe hold sending Angelina throat-first into the middle rope as Tenay confirms that Dreamer-Abyss is official for tonight and it will be a Hardcore Match! Sarita throws Angelina into the corner and then puts the boots to her. Sarita beats on Angelina and then hits a Snapmare Takeover followed by a series of nearfalls. Sarita whips Angelina into the corner and then charges but Angelina uses the ropes to pull herself up and over the charging Sarita and then drops down into a rollup! 1…NO Sarita immediately kicks out and then nails Angelina with a Lariat! Sarita puts the boots to Angelina and then hits 3 straight Elbow Drops! Sarita then puts Angelina in a Rear Chinlock. She drops it and then argues with the referee. This allows Angelina to come back with a forearm and then she goes for a clothesline, but Sarita ducks it and then picks Angelina up with a crazy Back Suplex! 1…2…NO Angelina kicks out. Sarita rolls Angelina up and then pulls on the tights for extra leverage but the referee catches her. Sarita then goes for another Back Suplex but this time Angelina lands on her feet and then nails Sarita with a series of Forearm Smashes. Angelina then attempts to whip Sarita into the corner but Sarita reverses it. Angelina stops herself before hitting the turnbuckles and then nails Sarita with a Spear as she taunted the crowd! Angelina hits a Back Elbow and then a spinning heel kick! Angelina hits the ropes and connects with a Running Clothesline. Angelina hits the Botox Injection as Sarita gets to her feet! 1…2…3 and Angelina is the new #1 Contender!
Winner: Love via pinfall (Botox Injection)
In the back Eric Young is talking to Orlando Jordan about matching helmets and then Jordan asks him what his problem is. Jordan says he needs EY focused and then says he doesn’t even know why he agreed to team with EY. He asks EY if he’s on something but EY says Jordan needs to know that he’s a little messed up on rum candy. EY says millions of people are watching them and that’s exciting. Jordan asks EY if he’s mentally challenge or something but EY says he wouldn’t challenge a mentalist to anything. He says he got kicked in the head and dropped off the top rope so he’s ‘not right’ right now. He says he has backup that will have their backs tonight. As EY walks off Jordan says “and they think I have problems.” What in the hell was that?
Back from commercials they explain (thankfully) why EY is acting mental. They show a replay of a match that EY had with Suicide (now supposedly being played by Kiyoshi) on Xplosion where Suicide kicked EY off the top rope and EY landed on the floor. Taz says EY suffered a head injury and he’s been ‘fruit loops’ ever since.
Ink, Inc. vs. Orlando Jordan & “Showtime” Eric Young
Jordan comes out to the ring without EY. Jordan takes his chewing gum out of his mouth and shoves it in So Cal Val’s and I think Taz said it best, “oh my God I just threw up in my mouth, that was disgusting!” EY finally walks out carrying a mannequin. Jordan attacks Neal at the bell and nails him with elbows. Neal comes back with forearms and then he hits the ropes but Jordan nails him with a clothesline. Jordan throws a few more elbows and then puts the boots to him. Jordan chokes Neal on the mat now and then hits a Snapmare Takeover. Jordan locks Neal in a Chinlock and he starts rubbing on Neal’s face. Neal squirms away from only to eat elbows from Jordan. Jordan connects with a Spinning Neckbreaker. EY is actually holding the mannequin up in the corner as Jordan lays in right hands on Neal. Moore comes in and kicks Jordan as he mounted Neal. Neal comes back with a Jawbreaker on Jordan and then both tag out. EY climbs up top with the damn mannequin and throws it at Moore but he ducks out of the way. Young looks shocked and Young says that the mannequin is the legal man. Ink, Inc. then Double Dropkick Jordan into Young knocking Young off the apron! Neal kicks Jordan and then lifts him up on his shoulders and Moore hits the Mooregasm off Neal’s back! 1…2…3!
Winners: Ink, Inc. via pinfall (Mooregasm)
After the match Moore picks up one of the mannequins arms and waves goodbye to Young with it.
Back from commercials Ric Flair is in the ring with Kaz, Styles, and Beer Money. Flair asks us if we can smell ‘that’ and he says it’s excitement in the air. Flair says we already know that Flair is a wrestling God but he’s also a wrestling genius. Flair says every contract he signs he has a return match clause and next week it will be Jay Lethal vs. Ric Flair in a Street Fight! Flair says Lethal better know that Flair will be ready to bleed, sweat, and pay the price of a lifetime. Flair calls Lethal his “smallest black brother” and then he turns his attention to Fourtune. He welcomes Beer Money Inc. into the group as the final members. He calls them their ‘muscle’ and then he says they’re a handful for the girls after the matches too. Flair hands Roode the microphone and he says it’s an honor, but they have to be honest. He says they knew it was only a matter of time before they joined Fourtune. He says how can the greatest faction in the business today go without the greatest tag team in the business today. Roode says tonight will be a huge night for Fourtune because when they beat the Guns for the 3rd time in a Row they will become 4-TIME TNA Tag Team Champions! Flair says it’s time to talk about the new Global Champion. Styles tells Kaz to say something. Kaz says what’s standing here before you is not some ‘silly gang of angry rookies’ (shots fired) but they are four season veterans and they just happen to be the very best at what they do. Styles says he couldn’t have said it any better himself. Styles says they’re the best because Flair deserves the best. Styles says out of the respect that they give Flair he will bring credibility to the Global Championship. Styles says whether it be England, Canada, India, or right here in the States and have a television you know what drives this sport. AJ says the belt he holds is no longer the Global Title and he says that doesn’t draw ratings. He says Fourtune draws ratings so therefore this belt is now the Television Title (thank God). AJ says starting next week and every week after that Styles says he will defend that belt at every TV show and every PPV from here on out. He says it starts next week against Rob Terry in a rematch. AJ says that is if Terry can get past Kazarian tonight. Flair says in closing, he tells the girls in the audience they’ll be in the hotel tonight and they’ll be running all night long. He says ‘learn to love it because it’s the best thing going today.’ They start to leave but Kurt Angle’s music cuts Fourtune off!
Angle rises up from underneath the stage and Angle grabs a microphone. Angle says he’s glad to hear that AJ will honor that title but it’s important for AJ to know that he needs to honor his commitment as well which means AJ is next in line. It’s real, it’s damn real!
Best of 5 Series Match 3
Steel Cage Match
Beer Money Inc. vs. Motor City Machine Guns
Beer Money is up 2-0 and if they win this match then they win the belts! Beer Money wait right at the door for MCMG to run down but the Guns come out from the crowd and scale up the cage! They climb into the cage and then dive off the top rope with Dual Cross Body Blocks on Beer Money! The Guns beat on Beer Money in opposite corners and then they grab Storm and toss him into the cage! The Guns then grab Roode and throw him into the cage wall! They whip Storm into the ropes and then Shelley hits an Atomic Drop followed by a Basement Dropkick to the knees from Sabin! Shelley rolls over Storm’s back grabbing Storm by the head and holding his head up as Shelley hits a Sliding Dropkick to the face of Storm! Sabin then leaps off the back of Shelley with a Dropkick that sends Roode into the cage wall again! Roode is already busted open! Shelley screams at Storm as he nails him forearms and then a spinning back kick. Shelley goes for Sliced Bread but Storm shoves him into the corner. Storm then charges but Shelley hits a back elbow as it’s finally broken down to a tag match. Shelley goes for a springboard move in the corner but Roode from the apron crotches Shelley. Storm then hits a Hanging Neckbreaker on Shelley out of the corner. Roode’s face is a bloody mess. Storm tags in Roode and then Storm holds Shelley as Roode puts the boots to him. Roode tags Storm right back in and then Beer Money whips Shelley into the corner and then Roode hits a Scoop Slam and Storm hits an Elbow Drop and then a Knee Drop from Roode! 1…2…NO Shelley kicks out. Storm hits a big uppercut on Shelley in the corner and then he tags Roode back in. Good, quick tags from the heels. Roode hits a Snapmare Takeover and then locks in a Headlock. Shelley fights to his feet and hits a series of body shots followed by a spinning heel kick! Both men are down now. Shelley gets to his feet and then tries to leap over Roode to tag in Storm but Roode catches him in midair and then slams him into the corner! Roode picks Shelley up and puts him on the top rope. Roode climbs up top with him and then goes for a Superplex but Shelley blocks it and then grabs Roode by the back of the head and slams him into the cage repeatedly! Shelley then hits a Superana off the top rope! Both guys are down again. Shelley crawls over to Sabin and tags him in as Roode tags in Storm! Storm goes for a Running Clothesline but Sabin ducks it and then hits a Running Forearm! Sabin then hits one on Roode and then another one to Storm! Sabin hits yet another Forearm on Roode and then climbs up top. Sabin connects with a Double Missile Dropkick on both members of Beer Money! Storm goes for a clothesline but Sabin ducks and then lifts Storm up and slams him crotch first into Roode in the corner! He pretty much hangs Storm up in the Tree of Woe in the corner but Roode is stuck in between Storm and the turnbuckles as well! Sabin then hits a Running Mafia Kick to the face of Roode! He then hits the Hesitation Dropkick on Storm! Sabin grabs Storm and hits a Tornado DDT actually using Roode to catapult himself up into the air! 1…2…NO Roode breaks it up! Shelley comes over and nails Roode with an Enziguri! Shelley then goes for Sliced Bread again but this time Roode blocks it and sits Shelley on the top rope. Roode then nails a charging Sabin with a disgusting Lariat! Roode is really bloody right now. Roode climbs up top with Shelley but Shelley hits him with a series of elbows to the top of the head and then he ducks a clothesline attempt from Roode and slams Roode HARD into the cage Flatliner style! Shelley then dives off top with a Diving Double Foot Stomp on Roode! I think Shelley just channeled Low-Ki with that one! Shelley whips Sabin into a Forearm Smash on Storm in the corner and then Shelley leaps off of Sabin’s back with a Flying Forearm on Storm of his own! Sabin then leaps off of Shelley’s back with a Flying Back Elbow attempt but Storm gets out of the way and then hits the 8 Second Ride on Shelley! We haven’t seen that move in awhile! Storm charges at Sabin in the corner but Storm catches his foot. Sabin uses the other foot to kick Storm in the face with an Enziguri! Roode charges at Sabin now but Sabin gets both boots up. Sabin climbs up top and goes for a Diving Hurricanrana but Roode blocks it and then Powerbombs Sabin into the damn side of the cage! Roode holds onto Sabin and then drops him down into the Backstabber from Storm! Oh my Jesus what a sequence! 1…2…NO Sabin kicks out! Roode and Storm start climbing up the cage but Shelley stops them both and then climbs up top with both of them. Shelley kicks Roode’s legs out from under him crotching Roode on the top rope and then he headbutts Storm and actually Super Jawbreakers Storm off the top rope! Sabin climbs all the way up to the top of the cage but instead of escaping the cage he dives off the top with an absolutely insane Cross Body onto both members of Beer Money and the fans are going freaking nuts right now! Sabin picks Roode up for the Neckbreaker/Frog Splash combo as Storm picks up a beer bottle. He swings it at Sabin but this time Sabin gets out of the way and Storm nails Roode with it! Sabin then grabs Storm and they hit the Neckbreaker/Frog Splash combo on HIM! 1…2…3 and the Guns are on the board! It’s now Beer Money with the 2-1 lead. I’m exhausted just watching that!
Winners: Machine Guns via pinfall (Neckbreaker/Frog Splash)
Mr. Anderson’s music hits but it’s Matt Morgan on the entrance ramp mocking him. Matt Morgan calls for Anderson’s microphone to lower it but they don’t drop it down until about the third time he asks for it. Morgan mockingly does Anderson’s entrance replacing all of Anderson’s stats with his own embellished ones. He even mocks Anderson’s heavy breathing that he sometimes does. Mr. Anderson’s music hits again and then the lights go out.
The spotlight reveals the real Anderson on the ramp and Morgan looks pissed that he’s been interrupted. Another microphone lowers down to Anderson and he says “you see how easy that was.” He lets the microphone go and then calls for it again. Anderson says he’s going to come to the ring and ‘get a little closer.’ Anderson walks down to the ring and Morgan tells him to relax. Morgan asks Anderson if he finds it a little bit ironic that this microphone is the very thing that left Anderson in a pool of his own blood. Anderson doesn’t say anything and Morgan shockingly says “the resident loudmouth of TNA doesn’t have anything to say!” Morgan says he can see it in Anderson’s eyes that he wants to hit Morgan and then he says he’ll stick his jaw out for Anderson and he can hit him in the face right now for free but they both know Kenny is too scared. Morgan tells Anderson to ‘nut up’ and pop him one. Anderson kisses his fist and then drops down on his knees and punches Morgan right square in the nuts! Anderson then nails Morgan in the face with repeated right hands! Anderson mocks Morgan in his face so Morgan grabs Anderson by the head, he palms the dudes head like a basketball! Morgan then chokes Anderson and puts the boots to him. Morgan then grabs the microphone and uses the chord to choke Anderson with it. Jeff Hardy’s music hits and Jeff runs out to make the save!
Jeff nails Morgan and stomps on him! Hardy chokes Morgan with his boot and then Anderson joins in on the fun. Finally security runs out to pull Hardy and Anderson off. One of them actually tosses Hardy out of the ring while the other shoves Anderson into the corner. They have to hold Anderson back and while they’re holding him Morgan decks Anderson! Hardy slides back into the ring and hits Morgan from behind! The Security guys then grab Hardy and fling him into the corner. They pretty much manhandle Hardy and Anderson and finally D-Lo Brown, Al Snow, and Simon Diamond run out to calm everybody down. Al Snow and D-Lo scream at the security guys and asks them what the hell they’re doing. D-Lo screams at them to ‘never cross that line again.’
Back from commercials replays of D-Lo arguing with the security guys is shown. We then cut to Christy Hemme with Anderson and Hardy. She asks them what just happened and Anderson says there was a couple of security guys that have been training for about 10 years to get in the wrestling business but they had to settle for TNA security, but tonight they decided they wanted to get themselves seen. Anderson says congratulations because tonight they get to face Jeff Hardy and Anderson in a tag match! Oh God, I’m having horrible flashbacks of Redshirt Security from back in the Asylum Days. Anderson tells them to make sure to bring that “7 foot goof” with them.
Kazarian w/AJ Styles vs. “The Freak” Rob Terry
Referee Andrew Thomas sends AJ Styles to the back before the match even starts. Terry argues with AJ as he walks up the ramp which allows Kaz to dropkick him in the back. Kaz then nails Terry with a series of forearms and then another dropkick. Terry never goes down and then he goes or a clothesline but Kaz ducks and then dives at Terry but Terry catches him in midair and hits a the Freakbuster! 1…2…3 and you have got to be sh*tting me?! Way to put over that new group there TNA. Just horrible.
Winner: Terry via pinfall (Freakbuster)
3-on-2 Handicap Match
Matt Morgan, Murphy, & Gunner vs. Enigmatic Assholes
(“Charismatic Enigma” Jeff Hardy & Mr. Anderson)
Murphy and Gunner are two big guys and I’m guessing this is Redshirt Security 2.0? So Gunner is the guy with all the tattoos and the other one is Murphy. Morgan will start the match off against Anderson. Before they lockup Morgan turns around and tags Murphy in. Murphy then turns around and tags in Gunner. They lockup and Anderson gets him in a side headlock. Gunner shoves him off but Anderson hits a shoulder block. Anderson hits the ropes again and Gunner goes for a hip toss but Anderson blocks it and then counters into a Swinging Neckbreaker. 1…2…NO Gunner kicks out. Anderson locks Gunner in a headlock and then but Gunner reverse into one of his own and then tags in Murphy. Murphy beats on Anderson and then puts the boots to him in the corner. Murphy hits a series of shoulder blocks but when he went for the third Anderson avoided it and then rolled Murphy up! 1…2…NO he kicks out! Anderson locks Murphy in a headlock and then tags Hardy in. they whip Murphy into the corner and then Hardy leaps off of Anderson’s back with a Poetry In Motion but Murphy sloppily nails him in midair with a clothesline. Murphy tags Gunner back in and then drags Hardy to the heel corner. Gunner grabs Hardy but Hardy kicks him in and then goes for the Twist of Fate out of nowhere, but Gunner blocks it and shoves Hardy into the corner. Gunner charges but Hardy hits a back elbow and then flies off the top with the Whisper In The Wind! 1…2…NO Gunner kicks out! Anderson tags back in and then attempts to whip Gunner into the ropes but he reverses it and Murphy grabs Anderson from the apron and knocks him down. He actually almost missed Anderson completely. Murphy then grabs Anderson but Hardy knocks him off the apron. Gunner beats on Anderson and then we see Morgan walking up the ramp leaving the security guys to fend for themselves. Hardy tags himself in as Anderson hits the Mic Check on Gunner. Hardy comes off the top with the Swanton Bomb. 1…2…3 and this completely pointless match is over.
Winners: Hardy & Anderson via pinfall (Swanton Bomb)
Christy Hemme approaches Hogan about the big announcement for later. Hogan says the fans are going to freak out when they find out but then he says he has a meeting in New York but he’ll have a lot to say next week.
We cut to the ring where Eric Bischoff is standing with Miss Tessmacher. Bischoff says he wants everybody to take out a pen and then pulls one out of Tessmacher’s cleavage and says on August 12th 9 p.m. (eastern) we will see something we’ve never seen before. He says we’ll see it because Dixie Carter motivated him. Bischoff puts over HardCORE Justice and admits that he was wrong in firing Mick Foley but what inspired him is that if Dixie Carter can give back to the fans then so can Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Dixie says they talked to SpikeTV and told them they need to raise the bar and SpikeTV said let’s give them PPV-quality action on Impact. Before Bischoff can say anything else Abyss’ music hits and he interrupts Bischoff.
Abyss gets into the ring with Janice. Abyss snatches the microphone from Bischoff and he says that he just got done speaking to ‘them’ and ‘they’ want Abyss to make the Main Event for that night. He says they have given him the blueprint and it involved Abyss, a 15 foot ladder, RVD, and Janice! Abyss says they’ll hang Janice 15 feet from the ceiling and Abyss and RVD will have the most extreme match ever. In the end, Abyss will climb the ladder and he’ll grab Janice and rip the fresh off of RVD’ a**! Abyss says that they told him that Bischoff was the only one that could make this happen. He tells Abyss to make it happen or does he want the wrath of Janice. Bischoff agrees and says he’ll make it happen. Abyss says Bischoff chose wisely. Abyss then starts to walk off but stops and turns around. Abyss says Bischoff is okay with him but Janice doesn’t forget a few weeks ago when Bischoff “b*tch slapped” him so Janice wants to show Bischoff what a real b*tch is. Abyss threatens Bischoff with the 2×4 but RVD’s music cuts him off and RVD throws the chair at Abyss! RVD then hits a Flying Back Kick off the top! RVD then puts the boots to Abyss in the corner and chokes him. RVD picks up the chair and hits the Sliding Dropkick into the chair right into Abyss’ face! Abyss rolls out of the ring and then RVD hits a Sliding Dropkick through the ropes on Abyss. RVD then climbs up top and goes for a Diving Plancha but Abyss moves and RVD hits the guardrail HARD! Abyss then chases Dixie away from the front row and points at her. Abyss puts the boots to RVD but D-Lo Brown, Al Snow, and Simon Diamond run out with chairs and get in between Abyss and RVD. Al Snow then slides into the ring and grabs Janice and leaves out with it. Tommy Dreamer’s music then hits and the Main Event is on!
Tommy Dreamer vs. “The Monster” Abyss
Wow, Dreamer is actually wearing wrestling gear. Snow hands Dreamer Janice!
Back from the break and weapons are already scattered in the ring and Dreamer nails Abyss with a trashcan lid as I’m still in shock that Dreamer is actually wearing ring gear. He’s wrestled in a t-shirt and sweat pants for like 15 years. Dreamer whacks Abyss with the trashcan lid repeatedly but then Abyss picks Tommy up and drops him crotch-first onto the guardrail! Abyss rolls Dreamer into the ring and then picks up a chair and sets it up in the corner. Abyss turns around and eats a trashcan from Dreamer! Dreamer nails Abyss with it again and then stacks the trashcan next to another one. Dreamer grabs Abyss but Abyss nails Dreamer with a right hand and then Sidewalk Slams Dreamer into the trashcans! The first trashcan got completely obliterated. Abyss picks up a cookie sheet and nails Dreamer with it and then picks up the kendo stick as Tenay says that Match 4 in the Best of 5 Series will be Ultimate X! Abyss lays into Dreamer with the kendo stick and then he puts Dreamer in a chinlock. Dreamer pokes Abyss in the eyes and then hits the ropes but Abyss grabs by the throat and goes for a Chokeslam. Dreamer counters it with back elbows to the head and then Dreamer hits the ropes and hits a cross body. Dreamer is moving pretty damn well for a guy with a torn MCL. Dreamer hits a big clothesline and gets a nearfall. Dreamer charges Abyss in the corner but Abyss hits a back elbow and then throws Dreamer into the chair he set up earlier. Abyss grabs the chair and then lays it on top of Dreamer and climbs up top. Dreamer crotches Abyss and then hangs him up in the tree of woe! Dreamer hits Abyss in the nuts with the kendo stick and then he puts the trashcan in front of Abyss’ face and hits the sliding dropkick into the trashcan! Dreamer goes to the outside and pulls a board wrapped in barbed wire out from under the ring! Dreamer hits Abyss with the kendo stick again and then tries to pick Abyss up for a DVD but his knee gives out and Abyss follows it up by kicking Dreamer in the knee. Abyss grabs Tommy for a Chokeslam but Abyss blocks it and then Dreamer attempts to DDT Abyss onto the barbed wire board, but Abyss counters into a Shortarm Clothesline! Abyss finds Janice at ringside and slides back into the ring and he points at Dreamer. He then swings it at Dreamer but Dreamer ducks and the board gets stuck in the top turnbuckle. Dreamer then rolls Abyss up! 1…2…NO Abyss kicks out! Dreamer picks Janice up and sets it up in the corner and then whips Abyss into the corner but Abyss stops before he hits Janice. Dreamer then charges at Abyss with a trashcan but Abyss punches it into Dreamer’s face! Abyss then Chokeslams Dreamer into the barbed wire board! Oh God that is just flat out disgusting. 1…2…3 and hell yes it’s over.
Winner: Abyss via pinfall (Chokeslam)
You can see the barbed wire sticking to Dreamer’s shirt as he tries to get off, that is not even cool. Abyss picks up Janice but Raven’s music hits and he runs out with a chair! Raven fends off Abyss but thent urns around and nails Dreamer with the chair! Raven then Evenflow DDT’s Dreamer onto the chair and he screams something into Dreamer’s ear as Abyss looks on surprisingly. I think Raven then actually licks Dreamer and screams “how do you like that Tommy”. Yeah, Raven still freaks me out.
Wow, tonight was so up and down that it’s not even funny. I mean we had REALLY good (Cage Match), good (Main Event), to bad (Handicap Match) to REALLY bad (the freakshow tag). Everything in between kept this match from being a complete suckfest.
The opening segment with the ECW guys was good until Hogan showed up. He was so out of place. I don’t really care for the EV2.0 name but I guess they have to find something else to call these guys.
Love-Sarita had a pretty good yet too short match. I really wish they would push Sarita. I don’t think the Beautiful People stuff is going to be over that quick.
Ink, Inc. vs. Jordan & Young was so stupid and mind numbingly bad it’s hard to even fathom. Young’s idiot character is like a cross between Chavo Guerrero Jr. from his WCW days and Eugene. Just stop with Jordan. I felt sorry for Ink, Inc. to have to be in that match. At least they didn’t have to job to that team though.
The Fortune announcement was really sad. I mean they just treated like it was just another thing on the show rather than a big deal. I still have hopes for the group but TNA is not treating it like anything special especially when one of the members of the group jobs to a juiced up crappy wrestler in 30 seconds.
The Cage Match was awesome! If you watch nothing else on this show, find that match. Really an awesome Cage Match. All four guys killed themselves and man was the crowd into it. Give us more of than and less of the dumb stuff.
The Morgan-Anderson segment was actually good until the security guys got involved. This thing is just so dumb. I mean I know they think that a lot of the fans don’t remember or weren’t watching during the Red Shirt Security vs. Black Shirt Security stuff back in the Asylum but it sucked then and it will suck now. Here’s to hoping that we never see Gunner and Murphy again.
Terry-Kaz was just sad. Who did Kaz piss off to make them job out to that big sack of meat in under a minute? Just poor logic to have him lose like that after Fourtune got officially put together. Beer Money losing was understandable since they already a 2-0 lead on the Guns, but this was just dumb.
As far as the TV Title goes I’m actually glad about that. I’ve been saying since it was the Legends Title that they should just make it a TV Title. Now maybe TNA can stick with that name and AJ can bring it some more credibility.
The Main Event was actually a fun brawl and kudos to Dreamer for busting his a** despite the torn MCL. I like the swerve with Raven too, they have a long history together and we need some build towards actual matches for HardCORE Justice.
I love the idea of a PPV-quality (think Clash of the Champions) show following HardCORE Justice. I think it’s a great idea.
The only new names that TNA confirmed on their website are Axl Rotten, Balls Mahoney (somewhere The Pope is smiling), & Johnny Swinger.
1) TNA Knockouts Title #1 Contenders Match: Angelina Love def. Sarita
2) Ink, Inc. def. Orlando Jordan & Eric Young
3) Match 3 in Best of 5 Series Steel Cage Match: Motor City Machine Guns def. Beer Money
4) Rob Terry def. Kazarian
5) Handicap Match: Jeff Hardy & Mr. Anderson def. Matt Morgan, Murphy, & Gunner
6) Hardcore Match: Abyss def. Tommy Dreamer
–Promo/Segment of the Night: Opening segment
–Match of the Night: Cage Match (****)
–Overall Grade: C –
Scheduled for Next Week:
– TNA TV Title: AJ Styles (c) vs. Rob Terry
– Street Fight: Jay Lethal vs. Ric Flair
– Best of 5 Series Match 4 Ultimate X: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money Inc.
HardCORE Justice Lineup:
– Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn
– Also appearing: Tommy Dreamer, Mick Foley, Stevie Richards, Team 3D, Rhino, Raven, Al Snow, Simon Diamond, Johnny Swinger, Axl Rotten, & Balls Mahoney.