Are you ready for a Party in the USA? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it is time for Monday Night RAW!!!
Video recap airs recapping the events of September 11th 2001, and the Smackdown on September 13th 2001.
Lillian Garcia is in the ring and sings a gorgeous rendition of the Star Spangled Banner
Following the song a U-S-A chant breaks out in the arena.
The RAW intro video plays and pyro breaks out.
The Rock’s music hits and he soaks in the crowd as he makes his way down to the ring. “Finally The Rock has come back – home”. Before he gets started he announces, “We got him”. Rock says that he is damn proud of Seal Team Six, and damn proud to be an American. He leads the audience in the Pledge of Allegiance. The Rock then walks the WWE Universe through his life and career. From birth to high school to his time spent at the University of Miami and winning the Orange Bowl. After college he went on to electrify the world of entertainment. “If you SMELLLLLLLLL—-“
and I quote…
I feel like this is –
“WOAH”. The Rock cuts off Michael Cole. He says that if Cole has a message to read, how about he come into the ring and read it. Cole declines and tries to continue reading. The Rock cuts him off again. He says that Cole won his match at Wrestlemania and last night at Extreme Rules, so Cole must consider himself some sort of tough guy. Rock says that Cole can be a tough guy or the voice of the WWE and come into the ring and read the message OR he can stay in his box and look like a drunk hobbit jack bag bitch. Cole says that he doesn’t even know what that means, but Michael Cole is not scared of anything. He isn’t the same kid that used to get t-shirts thrown on his head each week and humiliated by Rock. Now, he is a winner. He tells The Rock he has something to show him. Cole takes off his suit jacket to reveal a Garnett Boston Celtics Jersey! Cole asks what is the matter Miami? Are they jealous because the Celtics have more World Championships than anybody in history? Cole says that if Rock wants him to come into the ring, then he will. Cole exits his cave and gets into the ring. Cole says that the RAW GM is demanding an apology from The Rock. If Rock does not apologize, than the GM will shut down his entire birthday celebration. On top of that, Cole would like The Rock to apologize for all of the humiliation that he has put him through over the years. Rock says that Cole is right, he did disrespect the GM at Wrestlemania, and he has disrespected Cole over the years. So The Rock just has one thing to say to Cole, “I’m sorry”. He extends his hand to shake with Cole. Cole backs off. Rock says that they are live in Miami, and in front of the MILLIONSSSS of the Rock’s fans. He is apologizing like a man, Cole can either accept or not. Cole hesitantly extends his hand, and says thank you. Rock says you’re welcome, “now go eat shit”. He Rock Bottoms Cole, and then sets up for the People’s Elbow! It connects! The crowd goes wild as we head to our first commercial break –
No, The Rock cuts his music. He says that this is The Rock’s hometown, and the biggest birthday celebration in the history . He welcomes out 305’s own Pitbull! He wishes The Rock a Happy Birthday and then performs “Give Me Everything (Tonight)” with the Miami Heat Cheerleaders!
LeBron James and Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat appear on video to wish The Rock Happy Birthday!
Jim Ross has replaced Michael Cole on commentary!
John Morrison begins his entrance for his match against R-Truth. Truth attacks him from behind. He walks him down the ramp and hits the Lie Detector on the outside of the ring. Referees run down to force R-Truth to the back. Morrison is clutching his neck, saying he can’t feel it. Morrison makes his way to the top of the ramp, but Truth appears and attacks him again!
Video of Jimmy Kimmel wishing The Rock Happy Birthday!
Kelly Kelly v. Maryse
Kelly Kelly looks absolutely STUNNING tonight! I have missed her so much on this show. Thank you Vince McMahon, you’re a true patriot. Welcome back to RAW!
The women begin to tango, but Kharma’s music hits. She begins her slow entrance – and I guess the Diva’s are frozen in fear? Kharma picks up Maryse and hits the Implant Buster! Kharma looks at Kelly Kelly, but then exits the ring instead. Kelly Kelly is baffled and Kharma laughs herself up the ramp.
Alex Riley is in the back with Miz. Apparently Riley was late and Miz isn’t happy. Miz explains that the Draft doesn’t matter because Riley is under a personal contract with him, which trumps all.
Paul Walker wishes The Rock a Happy Birthday via Video!
Video of Samuel L. Jackson wishing The Rock Happy Birthday!
The Rock is in the back with a bunch of the Divas. He then runs into a bunch of Superstars. Teddy Long, followed by Kozlov. Kozlov has a surprise, which is Santino dressed up as Rock in Fast Five. Hornswoggle then comes dressed as the Scorpion King, then Great Khali dressed of the Tooth Fairy. Rock says he has the perfect Title for this group. Ron Simmons appears in the shot and does his signature – “DAMN”!
Video of Steve Carrell wishing The Rock Happy Birthday!
WWE Championship Match
John Cena v. The Miz w/ Alex Riley
The Miz locks on a side headlock. Cena escapes and they brawl back and forth. Alex Riley provides the distraction for a Miz clothesline. Miz sends Cena to the outside. Miz follows after and whips Cena into the steel steps. Miz then rolls Cena back into the ring. Cover attempt, but Cena kicks out. Miz heads to the top rope and hits a double axe handle. Cover attempt, but Miz kicks out.
Back from the break, Cena rolls towards the corner. Miz follows after and has to be pulled away by the ref. Miz charges back in with a couple of kicks. Cena gets to his feet and Miz charges in for a huge splash. Cena rolls out of the way and hits a running shoulder block. Cena hits another and then a HUGE side slam. Cena preps the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, and connects. He goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Miz counters with a shot to the eye, and then a boot to the face!
Miz tries for a running knee, but Cena counters into an STF! Miz gets to the ropes for a break. Miz gets to his feet and connects with a DDT. Cena kicks out of the cover. Miz unwraps a turnbuckle cover as the ref is distracted. Miz tries to slam him into it, but Cena holds himself back. Miz connects with a flurry of offense and goes for a cover. Cena kicks out. Miz tries for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Cena counters. The ref gets knocked out of the ring. Cena locks on the STF, and Miz taps! But there is no ref in the ring. Alex Riley brings the steel case into the ring and tries to hit Cena, but Cena lifts him up for an Attitude Adjustment. Miz takes the case and hits Cena in the ribs. Miz goes for a cover, but Cena somehow kicks out! Cena gets to his feet and hits the Attitude Adjustment out of nowhere! Cover and this match is – no Miz kicks out! Alex Riley distracts the ref and tosses Miz the Title. Miz clocks Cena with it and goes for a cover. Miz gets the pin!
Winner & NEW WWE Champion: The Miz
After the match the ref goes to get the belt, but realizes it isn’t at the bell table. He sees Miz celebrating with it and recalls his decision!
Winner via DQ & STILL WWE Champion: John Cena
After the match, Cena clears the ring and celebrates with his Championship.
Video of Ellen Degenerles wishing The Rock Happy Birthday!
Video of Tyler Perry wishing The Rock Happy Birthday!
Video of John Cena announcing the death of Usama Bin Laden to the PPV audience after Extreme Rules last night.
Alberto Del Rio is introduced and he makes his way down to the commentary booth
Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston v. Jack Swagger & Drew McIntyre
Swagger and Rey start the match off. Waist lock takedown from Swagger. Mysterio grounds him and sends him into the corner. Kofi gets the tag and splashes Swagger by bouncing of Rey’s back. He follows with a ten count punch and a European upper cup. The ref gets distracted and Drew makes a cheap clothesline shot!
Back from the break, Swagger is in the ring with Kofi. Swagger backs him into the corner and tags in Drew. Alberto Del Rio says on commentary that he is mad Rey Mysterio is on RAW, because he “wanted to be the only Mexican on RAW”. Drew goes for a cover, but Kofi kicks out. Swagger gets the tag. Kofi tries to kick his way free, but Swagger keeps him in the corner. Jack then pounds on the back of Kofi. Swagger pulls him into the middle of the ring and locks on a headlock. Alberto Del Rio is now claiming that, “Rey Mysterio is not a real Mexican”. Drew gets the tag. He slams the back of Kofi’s head with his fist, but Kofi flips out of a slam and tags in Rey. Mysterio hits a head scissors followed by a drop kick to the leg. Mysterio goes for the cover, but Swagger makes the save. Swagger tries to slam Mysterio, but Kofi stops him. Drew is alone with Rey and Kofi and gets met with a boot to the face. Mysterio hits the 619 and then the flying splash. Cover, and this match is over.
Winners via 619: Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston
Video of Ludacris wishing The Rock a Happy Birthday
Video of Dan Marino of the Miami Dolphins wishing The Rock Happy Birthday
Rock is in the back at his party again. He congratulates Christian on the Title win. Vickie says that she and Dolph have something for Rock. It is a huge Cake. Dolph says that Rock loves pie so… he moves the cake and it is Mae Young! Vicki and Dolph laugh and make fun of Mae. Rock stops them and berates them for making fun of her. Sucks to be Vicki and Dolph. Rock thanks Mae for coming to the party and plants a big kiss on Young. Rock tells Dolph he gets more pie in a night than Ziggler does in a lifestyle. Cena says he has a gift for Rock. Cena says that he will hold on to the Championship for a year, making their ‘mania match even bigger. Rock tells
Video of George Lopez wishing The Rock Happy Birthday
Kane v. Mason Ryan w/ CM Punk
Mason Ryan takes the quick advantage using his size. Ryan lifts Kane up into the air for a very impressive slam. Ryan is dominating Kane as he backs him into the corner. He then whips him hard to the opposite end of the ring. Kane counters with a boot and then punches him hard in the face. Ryan is met with a splash. CM Punk interferes and the referee calls the match.
Winner via DQ: Kane
After the match, Nexus runs down to the ring. Kane starts to fight them off, but Ryan fights off the chokeslam and hits his finisher! Big Show runs down to the make the save and cleans out the ring. Ryan enters and hits his finisher again! Ryan walks away from the New Nexus and up the ramp.
Video of Regis Philbin & Kelly Ripa wishing The Rock Happy Birthday!
Video of Craig Ferguson(!) wishing The Rock Happy Birthday!!
The Rock comes down to the ring, and he thanks everyone who has made tonight’s birthday celebration possible.
Vince McMahon’s music hits! He comes onto the entrance ramp. He wishes The Rock Happy Birthday. Vince thanks The Rock for all of his time in the WWE. Vince thanks Rock for his respect, passion, humanity and giving the audience an opportunity to say “what”. He thanks him for his love of life and devotion, but most importantly he’d like to thank him for being The Rock. So, on behalf of the WWE they have put together a birthday surprise for Rock. Vince is almost in tears as he starts the video.
Rock Tribute Video Airs
Grammy Award winning artist Mya comes out to sing The Rock Happy Birthday! The crowd sings along.
“If you SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, what The Rock is cooking”!!
Professional wrestling doesn’t matter tonight. I don’t care. Tonight I am simply an American watching an entertainment show to escape the trials and tribulations of the world. I commend the WWE for their patriotic efforts. I’d like to share an email I received last year:
Hello, my name is Johnny and I am a big fan of Wrestleview’s Raw results column. First off, let me be the first to say one of my limited leisures while serving in Iraq was the opportunity for me to read your website’s result columns. It kept me really motivated to stay alive until Monday nights after eleven for you and around nine in the morning for me.
As humbled as I am by that email, I deserve none of the credit that he gives me. I write up a recap for a silly male soap opera; Johnny and all members of the military risk their lives to protect my freedom and deserve all the gratitude in the world. My life is forever indebted to them. It is an honor to bring even the smallest amount of joy to our soldiers serving around the globe.
Thank you for your service.
As an added bonus, the song I wrote for Alicia Fox when she was drafted off RAW:
I do read every single e-mail you guys send, and really appreciate hearing your thoughts. Send me some e-mails, and have a safe week everyone!
Visit WrestleView daily for unique columns, recaps, audio and more including my column That’s a Wrap! Also, check out my radio show for the WrestleView Radio Network called The Teacher’s Lounge with co-host Anthony “Mr. V” Valvo. If you’re a VIP member, you don’t want to miss it!