Triple H’s music hit and he came out to the ring to a pretty big pop. He said in case people have been living under a rock, he informed us Trump bought Raw, only for Vince to buy it back for double the price. He said there’s this new thing though, called ‘celebrity guest host’, and he was here to introduce him. He said he was in a bunch of things, and introduced Seth Green to the crowd.
Green came waltzing out looking clearly excited to be there. He wanted a six Diva summer swimsuit competition. He and Triple H went back and forth and they had some jokes made about Randy Orton before comparing him to Dakota Fanning.
Orton didn’t seem to tolerate it long. His music hit and he came down the entrance ramp to the ring. Orton looked at Green and said he had something Triple H didn’t have, and that was the WWE Championship. Orton looked at Green and said if he wanted to take shots, he should take note of the fact that he had a bit of a management issue. Triple H said he didn’t want to tell Seth what to do, but he suggested putting him in a match with Orton tonight. Orton said that’d be a bad idea. He didn’t want Triple H to lose to him twice. Orton said he knew Seth was on the show in hopes that maybe he’d be mistaken for a real man.
Green held him up before he left the ring. He said there would be a main event tonight. The Legacy and Orton would face Triple H, John Cena…. and him.
Summer Swim Suit Spectacular
Mickie James, Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly v. Alicia Fox, Maryse & Rosa Mendez
Gail caught a crucifix and a monkey flip on Alicia before getting tattooed with a punch to the face. Rosa tagged in and Gail fought her off before hitting a big running clothesline. Kelly tagged in and hit a big springboard elbow before getting slammed to the mat for a one count.
Rosa smashed Kelly’s face off the corner turnbuckles before tagging Alicia back into the ring. She grabbed a rear chin lock as the crowd tried to rally her to her feet. Kelly fought out of the hold and got whipped, but was at least able to get a foot up and follow it up with a clothesline.
Mickie got the hot tag and hit a series of flying forearms before hitting a huricanranna on Maryse. Mickie hit a Thesz press for a two count before all hell broke loose between the other wrestlers. Mickie and Maryse ended up in the ring together along, and Maryse blindsided her and tossed her hard into the ring post. She connected with a big Implant DDT for the win.
Winners: Maryse, Alicia & Rosa via pin fall
Seth Green is in the back before Chris Jericho walked in. Jericho began running down Green. Jericho said he was the top star here and on every show in the WWE. He insisted he should be catered to. Jericho said the people didn’t know what they wanted unless he told them. Jericho said Green was a parasite and a drone just like all of these fans. Green said if he was going to bring that much negativity, he could just leave the building. Jericho said he wouldn’t. He has an agenda. He was going to go make his peace, and there wouldn’t be anything Green could do about it.
Primo Colon v. The Miz
Primo called Carlito out to the ring, but he got the Miz instead. He said Carlito was out, the Miz was in. He said he hoped Maryse was watching this. He was going to leave him laying in the middle of the ring .
Primo went right after him with lefts and rights, before hitting a high back body drop. Miz kicked Primo in the mid section before hot shotting him into the corner and grabbing a two count. Miz kicked Primo in the small of the back before slapping on a cravat. Primo fought back with lefts and rights before wasting Miz with a side Russian leg sweep.
Primo stuck with the fast-paced stuff, hitting a drop kick and a follow up cross body. As Miz kicked out of the cover attempt, Carlito’s music hit and he came down to the ring. He got up on the apron long enough for the Miz to take advantage. Miz wrapped him up in a reverse face buster and picked up a three count for the win.
Winner: Primo via pin fall
Carlito entered the ring after the match and began laying the boots to his brother. He took a bite of the apple in his back pocket and spat it all over Primo’s face.
Cole and Lawler put over the injury Edge suffered last week in Australia. They speculated on the unified tag team championships and said we’d hear more about them in a little while.
Seth Green was in the back. He said Hornswoggle would face Chavo Guererro later tonight, but this time Chavo would have his arm tied behind his back. Hornswoggle took off, and as Green turned around, he was confronted by Big Show. Green said he wanted to get advice from him because he might be in over his head in the main event. Show told him to watch his match later on with Evan Bourne before doing a Doctor Evil impression.
MVP v. Jack Swagger
The two had a long stare down before Swagger took MVP down and slapped him around a bit. MVP tattoo him with aright hand before Swagger bailed to the outside, frustrated. He jaw jacked with the commentary team as we went to commercial.
Swagger fought out of a play maker and tossed MVP into the ring post shoulder post. Swagger hit a pump handle body slam before going for the Vader bomb and connecting in the corner for a two count. MVP fought back with some punches and hit a Chono kick in the corner. MVP hit a ballin’ elbow for a two count.
MVP back dropped Swagger to the apron, who caught his arm on the top rope. Swagger moved in for the kill and hit the gut wrench power bomb for the three count.
Winner: Jack Swagger via pin fall
Jericho came out to the ring to make his speech. He said his partner Edge was ironic in his similarities to Achilles. He said he should have known better than to take on an injury risk like Edge. He said Edge was the obvious weak link of their team and he shouldn’t be punished for his imperfections. He said he knew these parasites would want him to get his title stripped. He said he’d choose a partner from here on out, someone just like him.
Mark Henry came out to the ring. He put his arm around Jericho and
Mark Henry v. Chris Jericho
Henry mauled Jericho in the corner and then hip tossed Jericho about 20 feet in the air. He stood on Jericho on the mat before backing off and clubbing him across the back. Henry mocked Jericho telling him ‘champions don’t run’. He looked for a power slam, only for Henry to completely overwhelm him and knock him to his back. Jericho fled up the ramp and got counted out. Two weeks, two dudes have fled from a fight with Mark Henry.
Winner: Mark Henry via count out
Chavo’s Arm Tied Behind His Back
Chavo Guererro v. Hornswoggle
Chavo grabbed Hornswoggle by the throat but got his hand bit. Hornswoggle ducked under some punches before being pushed off. Hornswoggle dragged Chavo into the ropes and hit a kick to the chest before hitting a sit out senton.
We got a Hornswoggle stink face before attempting a bronco buster, but he ate a big boot to the face. Chavo stepped on Hornswoggle’s head before mocking him to get up off the mat. He went to drag Horsnwoggle across the mat, only to get caught in a small package for the three count.
Winner: Hornswoggle via pin fall
Dibiase was talking to Orton backstage about his father. Orton seems to be far more respectful. Rhodes walked in and said he heard his Dad would be hosting next week. He said unlike some people, he had a good relationship with his Dad. Orton broke the two up and discussed strategy. He wants Orton and Dibiase to split up Cena and Triple H. He told them to leave Seth Green for him.
Big Show v. Evan Bourne
Show just tossed Bourne around the ring like he was nothing. He stood on Bourne in the middle of the ring before backing him up to the corner and laying him out with a pan handle chop. Show chucked Bourne over his head like a pin wheel and slammed him into the mat before Bourne tried to uselessly kick away on his legs.
Show chopped down on Bourne’s shoulders and then chucked Bourne to the outside like nothing, before picking him up by the hair and bringing him back into the ring. Bourne tried to hit a missile drop kick but Show was so hard, that he smashed to the mat. Bourne charged Show only to get split in half by a Big Show spear. Show slapped on the camel clutch and won when Bourne passed out.
Winner: Big Show via submission
Show wouldn’t drop the hold after the bell, and Kofi interjected himself and chased Show off.
Santino Marella is playing with wrestling figures in the back. Santino is showing off his Robot Chicken skills apparently… Triple H and Cena walk in and try to give him some pointers. They both said he should stick with them. Cena got all serious and got frustrated, saying its not like it mattered… he’d get killed anyways. Triple H agreed and they walked off.
Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase vs. Triple H, John Cena & Seth Green
Triple H hit a delayed vertical suplex on Rhodes before dropping a knee on his face for a two count. Triple H kept up the attack, leveling Rhodes with a right to the face before tagging in John cena. Cena slammed Rhodes off the turnbuckles before uncorking a nasty looking bulldog for a two count of his own.
The crowd chanted for Seth who took the tag. Green shrugged at him as Cena held him and leveled Rhodes with a right hand. Rhodes got steamed and began chasing him around he outside only to get hit by Triple H. The Game willed Green into the ring to try and get the cover, but he only got a two count. Cena tagged in only to eat a kick to the gut. Cena backdropped Rhodes out of a DDT attempt, but Orton cut blocked him from behind and knocked him to the outside.
Orton tagged in and planted Cena with a big DDT from the second rope before stomping him to bits in the corner. Dibiase tagged into the match and landed a kick to the mid section of Cena. Rhodes tagged in and the two hit dueling double Axe handles on Cena before Rhodes went to work. Rhodes locked in a full nelson. Cena fought the hold and was able to break it with his strength, but ate a knee to the kidneys. Rhodes looked for a lariat and Cena got an arm up at the last minute and the two laid each other out in the middle of the ring.
Cena got the hot tag on Triple H who went to work on everyone, cleaning house before hitting a big spine buster on Orton. He loaded up a pedigree, but the Legacy pounced and fought them off. Orton hit a big RKO thanks to the confusion and went for the pin but Seth Green jumped in and broke up the cover attempt.
Orton eyed Green and grabbed him by the shirt. Orton tossed Green across the ring and looked for a punt, but Cena jumped in at the last minute and saved him with a spear. The Legacy worked over Cena on the mat as Green took off to the outside. Rhodes retrieved a chair from ringside, but was met by Triple H who had a sledge hammer in hand. The referee called for the bell.
Winners: Double Disqualification
Triple H and Cena stared each other down after the match, and Triple H tossed aside his sledge hammer. Green meekly walked over and the two raised his hands. Triple H put him up on his shoulders and the three celebrated as we went off the air.
Show Thoughts– Good show tonight. Nothing spectacular, but a fun ‘break from the norm’ show.
The main event was pretty well built and executed tonight, with the heat segments involving Green being particularly effective. I liked this match up for a lot of reasons, but perhaps most of all because Cena and Triple H are good at doing opposite things. Triple H has some fantastic hot tag offense, which is kind of refreshing to see. The whole tag formula works for Triple H’s move set as a baby face. Cena on the other hand, is perhaps the best seller in the industry today. They kept the hot tag sequence and the long baby face beat downs nice, tight and compact, largely due to the fact that they had Seth Green to play off of in between. Moreover, Randy Orton held things together well on the heel side. There’s something about his offense that can make largely mediocre/filler stuff seem much more impactful. If I were to levy a complaint about most wrestlers today, its that they seem to be very spot heavy. The big stuff is fun, but its the filler in between they let slide to an almost hazardous degree. Orton’s punches, rests holds, stomps and crowd interaction is top notch, and helps space out his spots way better, constantly keeping the crowd in reaction mode instead of letting them settle into their seats. Pair him up with a guy like John Cena and you’ve got yourself one heck of a match. This just lent itself to being a lot of fun and it certainly was, and with little effort.
Speaking of wrestlers bringing the good offense, perhaps the highlight of this show almost every week now seems to be the sudden emergence of Mark Henry as a viable main event talent. As a baby face, he’s been a smash hit. His axe handles aren’t frequent. They one, long, looping, impactful blow. He’s interacting with the crowd as well as anyone. His cut off segments are phenomenal. Again, its little things that are making him effective. Tonight’s segment with Jericho was flat out fantastic, and the Raw creative team, not known for their intelligent handling of big men through the years, are making Henry look completely unstoppable. I’m hoping they’re looking at a title program involving him in the near future. He’s molten right now.
Some news I’m elated to hear is that we’re going to get more Big Show v. Token little guy match ups. I’m a sucker for big man-small man match ups, after all. Kofi and Bourne are fantastic options for Show right now, because he can rebuild his character a bit with guys who’re going to sell his offense like death. Additionally, he’s great for the little guys as well. Any offense they get in, anything that actually effects Big Show, will get over tend fold. Bourne hasn’t really laid out a bunch of set spots and Kofi’s don’t work particularly well. Facing a guy like Show will enable them to do that and switch things up as needed.
I know some people aren’t huge fans of the celebrity stuff, but I like it. It gives what has historically been a very A-D-D creative team and gives them a central theme to focus on and build around during every show. They need that structure, IMO. Some will come in and rock, some not so much, but it keeps a degree of mainstream appeal for the company while giving us a nice structured show with simpler booking in the peripheral programs. Tonight’s show was like the Lakers-Nuggets show, a fun break from the normal week to week ‘lets build up the next bad pay per view’ show, which I think are good from time to time.
Overall Grade: B
Maryse, Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendez def. Mickie James, Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly
The Miz def. Primo Colon
Jack Swagger def. MVP
Hornswoggle def. Chavo Guererro
Mark Henry def. Chris Jericho
Big Show def. Evan Bourne
Triple H, John Cena & Seth Green v. The Legacy ended in a double DQ
Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?
1. Triple H
2. John Cena
3. Mark Henry
1. Randy Orton
2. Big Show
3. Chris Jericho
4. The Miz
Match of the Night: Six Man Tag **1/2
4 Points= World Title defense/win
3 Points= Singles PPV Win
2 Points= Tag PPV Win
2 Points= TV Singles Win
1 Point= TV Tag Win
0 Points= Loss
WWE Champion: Randy Orton 10-8-5, 26 pts. (Last Week: WWE Champion)— Orton was pretty good tonight, especially on offense. His cut off spots and shenanigans behind the referee’s back were a plus as well.
United States Champion: Kofi Kingston 13-4-1, 24 points (Last Week: US Champion)— I thought this was the best Kofi’s looked as a character on Raw thus far. He’s definitely begun to show more upside since winning that US title. Big Show will be a good test for him. They can easily have Show steamroll him and not win the belt.
1. John Cena 15-9-3, 35 points. (Last Week: 1)– Like Triple H, Cena has been a bit hit and miss of late, but tonight he was solid. He has reverted back to the sell after spending a month pounding faces. I like this role for Cena more than the offensive minded Cena, although his offense has improved leaps and bound the last two-three years.
2. Triple H 3-4-2, 5 Points (Last Week: 3)– Fun and quiet night for Triple H. I liked him this week. I feel manic when it comes to the Game. One week I like him, the next I’m not so wild about his stuff. This week though, he was good.
3. The Miz 2-4-2, 3 Points (Last Week: 4)— Nice to see him back in action. He seems a shred direction less right now, but he’s over and looking good. I’d really be surprised to not see him on the Summerslam card at this point.
4. Big Show 4-5-1, 7 Points (Last Week: 5)— God, I hope they keep on feeding him small guys. His offense is so great now and he really has learned to give just enough in his comebacks. He’s really got the whole Vader thing going on, walking the line of a credible yet vulnerable monster.
5. Mark Henry, 3-0, 6 Points (Last Week: 6)— IMO, Henry has been awesome as a baby face thus far. Watching the crowd react to him is one of the more interesting pieces of television every week. They seemed a little tepid at first, as they should have, but watching them turn over fully behind him by the end of the match was pretty cool. The crowd interaction with Henry was pretty fantastic as well
6. MVP 4-5-1, 7 Points (Last Week: 3)– MVP’s momentum is beginning to wane, especially with the loss to Swagger this week. He’s got a shot, but the talent pool on Raw just jumped ten-fold, so he’s still got a lot to prove. With Henry looking so strong, he needs to step it up to work his way back to that border-line main event slot.
7. Cody Rhodes 9-7-2, 12 points (Last Week: 7)— I like the needling between Dibiase and Rhodes that’s beginning to go on behind the scenes. Another strong, albeit brief night performance-wise from Rhodes.
8. Ted Dibiase, Jr. 8-5-3, 9 Points (Last Week: 7)–See Rhodes.
9.) Evan Bourne, 1-2, 2 Points (Last Week: 9)— Man he looked awesome on the sell with Show. I’d really like to see more of these two in the ring. Great feud to establish the highlights of Bourne without having to put him over anyone too soon. Also, it gets Show back on track. I’m all for it.
10.) Jack Swagger, 1-1, 2 Points (Last Week: NR) — While it might not have been his best offering of the year, a win over MVP pretty much establishes Swagger as the youngster to watch right now. He’s done a fantastic job of mixing in his mat work without becoming hopelessly Dependant on it. Kudos to him.
Batista 8-4, 16 Points (Last Week: 8)
Santino Marella 4-2, 9 points (Last Week: 10)
Shawn Michaels 6-3, 10 pts. (Last Week: NR)?
Carlito Colon 4-4-1, 5 Points (Last Week: NR)
Primo Colon 3-6-1, 3 Points (Last Week: NR)?
Brian Kendrick 1-4-0, 2 Points (Last Week: NR)
Hornswaggle 2-0-0, 3 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jerry Lawler 1-0, 1 points (Last Week: NR)?
Festus 1-1-0, 1 Points (Last Week: NR)
Chavo Guererro 1-6-0, 1 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jamie Noble 0-3, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)?
Jim Duggan 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Matt Hardy 3-8-0, 4 Points (Last Week: TRADED TO SMACKDOWN)
William Regal, 3-10, 4 points (Last Week: TRADED TO ECW )
Goldust 2-1-0, 2 Points (Last Week: TRADED TO ECW)
Kane 7-7, 12 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN?
Mike Knox 3-3 4 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
JTG 2-4, 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Big Shaad 2-3 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)?
Charlie Haas 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Dolph Ziggler 0-3, 0 Points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
CM Punk 9-7, 17 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Rey Mysterio 11-6, 22 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Chris Jericho 6-6 13 pts. DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
JBL 1-6, 4 points (Last Week: 7) RETIRED
Mr. Kennedy 1-0-0, 1 Points (Last Week: RELEASED)?
Sim Snuka 1-0, 1 Point (Last Week: RELEASED)