-The First Shot-
Hello everyone and welcome to the historic 20th installment of The Shoot! It’s not really historic, but like most things, adding one word to something that’s quite normal makes it sound more exquisite to attract attention? which will be the subject of this week’s column. In addition, I have my picks for WWE The Bash, and if you followed my Twitter account, you know that I didn?t do too well. In fact, most of the faculty kind of fell on this one, but I?ll have my review with that later on as well. First up is a trip around the net for various news and tidbits? I give you Quick Shots.
– Quick Shots-
Remember when I discussed CM Punk’s interview and how he said that the ?CM? stood for Chicago Made? Then I said that I wouldn?t believe that because CM Punk changes it in every single interview to keep a mystique about it? Well? here is your proof since another interview with Punk was conducted recently and here’s what he had to say: “The most commonly given answer is ?Chick Magnet. It clearly stands for champion material.” The mystery continues!
In a recent WWE.com poll, over 50% of the votes from the WWE Universe stated that they were happy that Donald Trump was no longer a part of Monday Night Raw and even though I didn?t vote, I would have added to that percentile. I can appreciate the fact that the WWE was trying to do this for publicity and to help bring wrestling back to where it was in 1998 (e.g. more mainstream viewership and acceptance), but I personally cannot stand Donald Trump. There are a lot of people that they could have done this with, but they opted to go with Mr. Trump and my stomach actually turned. In my own opinion, good decision or not, right idea, just wrong person.
In some on topic / off topic news, Midway Games, makers of TNA iMPACT! Are entertaining a $33 million bid from Warner Bros. While it was stated that TNA would not be along for the ride if the purchase were to go through, being someone who is aspiring to be a game designer, am a little shocked that a software giant like Midway would go for an easy $33 million. I would think that the company would have been worth a little more than that seeing how they have the Mortal Kombat franchise as well as rights to distribute Atari’s vast collection of titles as well.
-The Big Shot: When Gimmick Matches Become Redundant
As you all know, I like to rant about things that just bother me about professional wrestling from time to time and this week is not really any different. One of the things that makes wrestling great are, usually, the gimmick matches that serve as a special attraction or great ender to a massive feud, but sometimes they can just get a little out there. This week, I?m going to outline some of the matches that are just a little too redundant.
There is nothing wrong with a No Disqualification match, but the fact that this match can be masked under a million and one different names makes this match completely redundant. One of the things that really bothers me is the Street Fight variation of the name because you know that they will always add a town’s name in front of it to make the match sound more unique, more impressive, or more special when deep down, it’s the same match as any other No DQ match. Whether it’s a Chicago Street Fight, Boston Street Fight, Montreal Street Fight or an Abu Dhabi Street Fight? it’s still the same No Disqualification match. You?ll see the same perfectly, unstained, brand new garbage can, the same Singapore cane, the same usage of the steel ring steps, and sometimes the same ladder.
Why even call it a street fight, anyway? The wrestlers are not anywhere near the street and last I checked, a street fight consisted of a bunch of guys punching, kicking, and beating each other with chains, jimmy sticks, and lead pipes. Just call the match No Disqualification and stop trying to make it sound any different.
To me, a cage match meant one thing? you had to escape the cage to win the match. That means you had to climb up and over the top of the cage and drop down to the floor in order to win the match. Now you?ve gone and added all these additional ways to win: Pinfall, Submission, or walking through the door. So basically you just have to knock your opponent out and walk out through a door? that’s not really any different than knocking him down and going up top to hit an aerial maneuver. They?ve basically took a standard match and threw a cage around the ring and called it something special.
Where’s the strategy in a cage match now when, in theory, you could wrestle a normal match without using the cage and still win?
They even took their watered down concept and took it a step further. Hell in a Cell. Bigger cage, same rules and yet people get all excited about it because the top is enclosed allowing you to go up there and potentially die. While these are still slightly fun to watch, I prefer my old cage match back. Beat the ever-living hell out of your opponent until he or she cannot stand, climb up and hop out. That’s a cage match and anything else? is redundant.
Bra & Panties Matches
Okay? so the WWE is now PG-13 and because of this, the women are more appropriately clad on the way to the ring and with their new rating, we probably won?t see another one of these matches for quite some time, but back in the day when the WWE wanted to push the envelope, they came up with the idea of the Bra & Panties match where two female wrestlers would have to strip each other down to their underwear in order to win the match.
Sounds great if you?re a guy, but did you ever notice that most of the Divas wore attire that left little to the imagination on a regular basis? Heck, even under a PG-13 rating, they still look a little revealing. It’s also a match that only works if you?re watching it on television or you?re in the first 10 rows. Try watching the outcome of a match that that in a 20,000 seat arena up in the nose bleeds. Divas in skimpy outfits getting stripped to their underwear which equals about maybe 1% less clothing coverage than their ring attire makes this match redundant.
On a side note.. if you watch that to get your jollies off, then you haven?t discovered the real reason why we have the internet. Something better is only a double click away!
But I saved the best for last that really isn?t redundant, but just makes no sense whatsoever.
Well, as we know, unsanctioned matches are typically a standard No Disqualification match sans the referee. Wrestling companies claim that they don?t back the match up, don?t have any responsibility, but yet, they?ll still hold the match in their venue and broadcast it live or taped all over the television, internet, or any means necessary. They?ll even promote and hype it throughout their show.
Promote and hype an unsanctioned match that they want nothing to do with throughout their show? This match only serves one purpose? to insult the intelligence of the fans watching the match. If this were truly an unsanctioned match, the show would end before the match took place, there would be no mention of it after it has been announced as unsanctioned, and it would consist of whoever was beating the living hell out of each other to be out in a parking lot off of the event site. In fact, how cool would that be to leave the arena, thinking the show was over, and you come across Triple H getting RKOed on top of your mom’s minivan?
That, in my opinion, would be an unsanctioned match? otherwise, it’s just a referee-less no dq match and that, my friends, just made the No DQ Match type even more redundant.
-One Extra Round: PPV Picks-
Speaking of redundant? let’s get to my PPV Picks for WWE’s The Bash. This is going to hurt worse than getting belly to belly suplexed through a King of the Ring sign that refuses to break.
No Countout and No DQ Contest
The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler
PICK: The Great Khali
Thoughts: Okay? so what seemed like a last minute squash turned out to be the vehicle in which Kane made his return to the WWE. Ok? fair enough, but this sets up a Kane vs Khali feud and that just makes me want to cringe and trust me? I?m not cringing over the thought of what these two would do to each other.
?John Cena vs. The Miz
?WINNER: John Cena
PICK: John Cena
Thoughts: Unless it’s really obvious, why bet against the WWE’s Poster Child? I mean seriously?.
Women’s Championship Match (Regular Match)
?Melina (champion) vs. Michelle McCool
?WINNER: Michelle McCool
Thoughts: Well, here I thought that Melina would actually retain, but Michelle McCool made history by becoming the first Diva to win both the Women’s Title and the Divas? Title. Congratulations to her, but in all honesty, I don?t care about Divas Wrestling in the WWE and I just flipped a coin. Thank God I?m not Harvey Dent.
Tag Team Championship (Regular Tag Team Match)
?Primo and Carlito (champions) vs. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jr.
?WINNER: Edge and Chris Jericho
PICK NULL 1-2
Thoughts: The Wrestleview staff decided that since we could not forsee the change in this match, we would scratch this from the official predictions. Nice swerve, though!
?Intercontinental Championship (Title vs. Mask Match)
?Chris Jericho (champion) vs. Rey Mysterio
?WINNER: Rey Misterio Jr
PICK: Chris Jericho
Thoughts: Here I thought that the WWE would have given Jericho a lengthy run as Intercontinental Champion. It made the most sense as he was on quite the roll, but I guess the WWE decided that they would rather have him as a tag team champion to try and save Edge’s stale heel personality. Can?t really blame them on their decision, though.
ECW Championship (20 Minute Championship Scramble)
?Tommy Dreamer (champion) vs. Mark Henry vs. Jack Swagger vs. Finlay vs. Christian
?WINNER: Tommy Dreamer
PICK: Tommy Dreamer
Thoughts: I felt that Dreamer would retain here. It seems as if the WWE finally realized his character in being the underdog that finds a way to overcome adversity and he did so in this match against some of ECW’s best. How long will this continue? I do not know, but I?m glad Dreamer is going to get a decent run with the title.
?World Heavyweight Championship (Regular Match)
?CM Punk (champion) vs. Jeff Hardy
?WINNER: Jeff Hardy
PICK: CM Punk
Thoughts: CM Punk still retained the title, but the official winner says Jeff Hardy by DQ. I figured that Hardy would have gotten screwed in a different way, but not to the point where it would mess up my prediction, but on the bright side, it did help develop CM Punk’s heel character more and it’s these little nuances that are going to build up into something much more grand.
WWE Championship (Three Stages of Hell)?
Randy Orton (champion) vs. HHH
?WINNER: Randy Orton
PICK: Randy Orton
Thoughts: I?m glad that Orton made it out of this match. I?ve been saying for a while that he deserves a lengthy reign with the championship and it seems that the wheels are set in motion for this to happen, but please? please? please?. No more HHH vs Orton. I beg you!
This puts me at 34-28 (34-29 if you want to count the tag match? I?m not, but you can if you want to!). It seems I do better at TNA PPVs than I do with WWE PPVs. Maybe Victory Road will wield me a better chance to get my win column up a bit higher. We?ll see.
-The Final Shot-
As you can see, there is no more ?Return Fire? or ?Friendly Fire? segments. I have decided to scrap them for the time being, but that shouldn?t stop you from sending me feedback? in fact, I still encourage it. If you would like to discuss the question of the week, wrestling in general, life in general, send all thoughts, good and bad, to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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